Tag: #lifelessons

Book review posts, Uncategorized

October 2025 Reads

amybenoit

I read 6 books in October! Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in October.

“Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues” was written by David Bradford and Carole Robin, who have taught interpersonal skills to MBA candidates in their legendary Stanford Graduate School of Business Course, Interpersonal Dynamics, and have coached and consulted hundreds of executives for decades. This book was a transformative guide to building more fulfilling relationships and focused on cultivating authenticity vulnerability, and honesty while being willing to ask for and offer help, share a commitment to growth, and deal productively with conduct. I learned so much from this book. Here are just a few takeaways:

Exceptional relationships involve mutual commitment, a steady and ongoing process of increasing self-disclosure, stretching beyond your comfort zone, and seeing setbacks as something to explore and learn from rather than as a reason to retreat.

Feedback is the breakfast of champions. Feedback starts a conversation. It doesn’t end it. Building relationships where each person feels free to give and ask for feedback is key both to preventing pinches from becoming crunches and to helping each person develop in new and more effective ways.

  • Intent = needs, motives, emotions, and intentions
  • Behavior = words, tone, gestures, facial expressions
  • Impact

Each person can initially only know 2 of the 3 realities. You have to stay on your side of the net. You may know their behavior and impact, but you don’t know their intent. Sooner or later, the other person will tell you (or continuously show you).

This is just a glimpse of the many lessons in this book. This book caused me to reflect on some of my past friendships and what exceptional friendships should consist of. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about building exceptional relationships and being a better friend, coworker, and partner.

5 out of 5 stars

“We’ve Decided to Go in a Different Direction: Essays” was written by Tess Sanchez, who spent more than 20 years in the entertainment industry as a casting director. This book was funny, insightful, and contained amusing essays that examine the aftermath of a major life shift that took the author from fully in control and plunged her into unfamiliar chaos. This book examines how we claim our identity and how we choose to define ourselves. This was an easier read. Here are some lessons:

  • Water the flowers, not the weeds. Nurture and grow the good in your life, and dehydrate the weeds.
  • The key to success, fulfillment, and happiness is flexibility – embracing the now – however that may look.
  • Career loss isn’t the end. It’s a pivot point. It can be painful, but also freeing.
  • Identity is bigger than your job title. Rediscover who you are outside of your professional role.
  • Resilience is messy, not linear. Change comes with backslides, confusion, and emotional turbulence.

One of my favorite lessons from this book is the concept of a “painful favor.” The author used the phrase “painful favors” to describe pivotal moments in her life that felt harsh and disruptive at the moment but ultimately led to personal growth and new opportunities. I love this concept, and there have been several “painful favors” in my life that I am grateful for.

4 out of 5 stars

“Reconnected” was written by Carlos Whittaker, a bestselling author and storyteller who averaged 7 hours 23 minutes a day on his phone before this experiment. Carlos went screen-free for 7 weeks to see what screen time was doing to his head, hands, and heart; he spent 2 weeks with Benedictine monks, 2 weeks with Amish in Ohio, and 3 weeks at home with family. I enjoyed reading about his experiment. Here are some of the many lessons:

  • We don’t wonder any more. How many times are you in a conversation when somebody wonders something only to stop wondering because they can look it up on their phone? We’ve lost the ability to not know, and we now feel like we must know everything. We can’t, but we feel like we need to. If we can’t admit that we don’t know something, suddenly we are creating experts who aren’t actually experts. Ex: TikTok
  • Recovering our ability to have regular solitude is so important for our mental health and overall well-being. Let your mind wander, do a digital detox, and experiment with tech-free hobbies.
  • How many times do we pull out our phones when we get uncomfortable with our present circumstances? Jesus made a habit of being fully present with people that hardly anyone wanted to be present with. Our presence has the ability to change not only our lives but the lives of others. You could change another’s life – someone that you might not even notice if you weren’t looking up.
  • The table is one of the most intimate settings we have for sharing our lives. The table is one of the best tools we have to get to know someone well and to discover the heart of somebody. Try going phone-free and allotting more time for meals.

Not every argument is worth having and not every comment deserves a rebuttal. Choose where to invest your energy. Respond with reason, not with rage.

One of the most interesting lessons was that the Amish allow some pieces of technology that aren’t going to grow them apart. They weigh the potential value of every piece of new technology before allowing it. Community is more important than anything else. They don’t think cars are evil, but they know that if they started using cars, their community would no longer be a community.

This book was intriguing and filled with lessons about the impact of technology.

5 out of 5 stars

“The Not-Quite States of America” was written by Minnesota author Doug Mack. This book was boring at times and reads like a history textbook. This book covered some interesting tidbits about the territories of the Virgin Islands of the United States, American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, and Puerto Rico. Here are some facts:

  • Residents of the territories cannot vote for president. They can run for president.
  • The Virgin Islands of the United States (USVI) are heavily reliant on tourism and imported goods. Agriculture is only 1% of USVI’s overall budget. With the blessing of the U.S. Treasury and Congress, the islands offer a 90% reduction in U.S. corporate and personal income taxes. The appeal of the USVI for the United States was its utility as a coaling station.
  • People born in American Samoa are U.S. nationals, not U.S. citizens, making them the only group on U.S. soil without automatic citizenship. To gain citizenship rights, they must become naturalized like any immigrant. Tuna canning is the largest private-sector employer. American Samoans who oppose birthright citizenship value 3 traditions that might be deemed unconstitutional:
    • The Native Land Ordinance – only individuals with at least 50% Samoan blood may own native land
    • Matai-only Senate – traditional chiefs, not elected by popular vote
    • Sa – the roads are closed when prayer time is observed in some villages
  • Military bases occupy nearly 1/3 of Guam’s land, but much of this land is not actively used by the military; the military simply controls the land.
  • The Northern Mariana Islands (CNMI) rely heavily on tourism and foreign labor. The Northern Mariana Islands are a U.S. commonwealth, meaning the residents are U.S. citizens, but CNMI has local self-government, including its own constitution, legislature, and governor. The U.S. Congress selectively applies some federal laws.
  • Puerto Ricans are U.S. citizens but can’t vote for president. Puerto Rico has 10x more people than all the other territories combined. The Spanish and American cultures intertwine, creating a unique identity.

3 out of 5 stars

“Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths For Our Complex Lives” was written by Gretchen Rubin, who has authored many books and hosts the top-ranking, award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin. This book was not quite what I anticipated. It contained valuable information, but it was more like a listicle or what you may find in a fortune cookie. Here are some “secrets” of adulthood:

  • If you find it hard to take good care of yourself, care for yourself like a toddler: Don’t let yourself get too hungry, too tired, too uncomfortable, too bored, too lonely, or too overwhelmed.
  • The traffic changes, the weather changes, yet the same people are always late, and the same people are always on time.
  • More trial, more error – and more accomplishment.
  • Nothing is more exhausting than the task that’s never started.
  • By giving something up, we may gain. Briefly depriving ourselves of a pleasure often has one of two good results: either it reawakens our enjoyment or reveals that we’re happier when we don’t indulge.
  • If we take the credit, we must accept the blame.
  • Don’t buy things until you need them. Store things at the store.
  • If you can’t think of a topic of conversation, ask, “What’s keeping you busy these days?”

3 out of 5 stars

“Cue the Sun!: The Invention of Reality TV” was written by Pulitzer prize-winning New Yorker author Emily Nussbaum. The book covered the history of reality tv, starting from its contentious roots in radio, and Emily conducted in-depth interviews with more than 300 sources to gather information for this book. Here are some key points:

  • Reality TV didn’t just appear. It evolved from radio call-ins, prank shows, and experimental documentaries.
  • Reality TV thrives on presenting “real life” while heavily manipulating footage. This results in ethical dilemmas. Producers edit raw footage to craft narratives and often distort reality. This raises questions about consent, exploitation, and how much “truth” audiences really want.
  • The launch of Survivor in 2000 marked reality TV’s explosion into mainstream dominance. It taught networks that unscripted formats could be cheap to produce yet massively profitable.
  • Reality TV influences politics and celebrity culture. As an example, Donald Trump leverages reality TV fame from The Apprentice into political power.

Some interesting tidbits:

  • By the 1960s, Candid Camera had become a major hit on radio, but on TV, the show’s subjects weren’t anonymous anymore. Some laughed, others got angry, and many experienced a messy blend of feelings.
  • The Dating Game required no background checks. One of the show’s winners, Rodney Alcala, turned out to be a serial killer, was also a convicted sex offender, and paroled twice. At the time he filmed his segment, he was in the midst of a murder spree.
  • The People’s Court was the first television show to feature binding arbitration.
  • America’s Funniest Home Videos was unusually easy to produce since it relied on videotapes sent in by viewers and filmed on camcorders. It cost ABC almost nothing – no actors, directors, or stunt professionals. Together with America’s Funniest Home Videos, Cops jump-started the reality genre, which had been static for nearly a decade.

Survivor was the first series to take the reality genre mainstream in the United States. It stood out because it united 3 key traditions: prank show, game show, and real-life soap opera.

  • By 2002, casting a reality show had become a science, down to the thick contracts contestants signed, granting editors total control. There was also a natural next step after the finale aired: move to Los Angeles.
  • In 2006, with the rise of The Real Housewives, cast members of reality shows began to identify as influencers, viewing themselves as performers and collaborators, brand representatives of the shows they appeared in.

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts

July 2025 Reads

amybenoit

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog since I have had other priorities. I read 4 books in July. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in July.

“Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos” was written by Emma Seppala, a Yale lecturer and international keynote speaker. This book was insightful! It was packed with tips to recharge your life and change the way you think and act – from your emotions, mind, relationships, intuition and body. Here are some of my many takeaways:

  • Sovereignty is reclaiming your right to exist as you. It involves courage, awareness, and self-honoring. Consider what would happen if you loved and cared for yourself as much as you do for others.

What would it look like if you took care of yourself as you would an infant, attentive to its every need? Be mindful and aware of your emotions and ask yourself “What do I need right now? A hug? A walk? A break? A nap? A cry? A meal? A friend? Something else?”

Some of the many tips covered:

  • Sovereign self
    • Listen to the state of your mind and body. Ask yourself what you need.
    • Prioritize what fills your cup – what brings you rest, rejuvenation, energy, vitality, upliftment, inspiration, and joy.
  • Sovereign emotions
    • Remember: when you run from your feelings, you run from your healing. Feel instead of suppressing.
    • Remember that emotions are energy in motion. Take care of your basic needs: sleep, diet, exercise, and yourself.
  • Sovereign mind
    • Create boundaries around your media. Don’t go on social media to look at what other people are doing or selling.
    • Observe and discern: What are the intentions of the messaging. Is it giving you freedom or binding you in fear? Do you wish to engage with it?
  • Sovereign relationships
    • 6 keys of positive relational energy
      • caring for, being interested in, and seeing the best in others
      • providing support for one another, including offering kindness and compassion
      • avoiding blame and forgiving mistakes
      • inspiring one another and focusing on what’s going right
      • emphasizing meaningfulness
      • treating others with basic human values like respect, gratitude, trust, honesty, humility, kindness, an integrity
  • Sovereign intuition
    • Consult your gut feelings.
    • Unplug from technology. Create opportunities for contemplation. Schedule idle time.
  • Sovereign body
    • Relate to your body as your best friend because that’s what it is. Learn to love it, care for it, listen to it, and live in harmony with its needs.
    • Reflect on these questions: Do you honor and care for your body the way you would a child? If not, what would it look like if you did?

This is one of the best books I have read this year, and I highly recommend it to everyone!

5 out of 5 stars

“Says Who? A Kinder, Funner Usage Guide for Everyone Who Cares About Words” was written by Anne Curzan, professor of English Language and Literature, Linguistics, and Education at the University of Michigan. This book was intriguing, although some readers may find it overwhelming or too academic. Here are some things that resonated with me:

One key point for everyone who uses dictionaries is that dictionary editors are trying to walk a fine line between capturing words as they are used and providing guidance about the contexts in which some words are generally accepted or not accepted. While the editors of today’s dictionaries are usually trying to describe actual usage, we as dictionary users often erroneously assume that they are prescribing correct usage. Attitudes at the language change over time!

  • English has lots of synonyms in many areas of the lexicon, and they demonstrate the remarkable creativity we as humans bring to language, the many languages that have contributed to the English lexicon, the diversity of our linguistic identities, and the nuanced choices we get to make as speakers and writers.
  • Dictionary editors determine which pronunciations get recorded as standard and which get labeled as nonstandard – and which don’t get included at all.
  • What’s correct depends on where, when, and to whom you’re speaking. Formal writing has different expectations than casual conversation.
  • Many grammar rules are based on tradition, not logic. Usage evolves, and what was once “wrong” can become accepted over time. Examples:
    • “Peruse” has long meant “to read thoroughly” – but now people use it to mean “to glance over, skim” – which is becoming more acceptable.
    • “Literally” is used to mean “in the literal sense” AND “figuratively.”

4 out of 5 stars

“The Things You Can Only See When You Slow Down” was written by Haemin Sunim and contained so many life lessons and a guide to mindfulness. I got a lot out of this book. Here are some takeaways:

Do not try to control those around you. When you cannot control even your own mind, what makes you think you can control others?

  • According to some psychologists, happiness can be assessed with two simple questions: First, do you find meaning in your work? Second, do you have good relationships with those around you?
  • We like to get involved in other people’s business, thinking we are doing so for them. We offer unsolicited help and interfere with their lives. We take away their power and make them feel incapable. This stems from our desire for control and recognition. It has little to do with love.
  • A bad driver brakes often. A bad conversationalist also brakes often – interrupting the flow with his own stories.
  • Being a good boss requires much more than just having a lot of technical knowledge. It is important to have integrity and a positive relationship with the staff, to give timely feedback and professional mentoring, and to advocate for what the team needs.

As my prayer deepens, I hear more of His voice than my words. As my humility grows, I feel more of His love overflowing in my heart. As my mind quiets down, I sense more of His presence in every moment.

I really enjoyed the lessons from this book and highly recommend it.

5 out of 5 stars

“I Could Live Here Forever: a novel” was written by Hanna Halperin. This is a fiction book and is not what I typically read. This book was described as “a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict.” I agree with that description. Since this was a fiction book, I didn’t take many notes, but these quotes resonated with me:

“The nice thing about writing was it took pain and warped it into something useful. I could shape it into a beginning and a middle and an end. It was manageable that way . . . by the time I was done with it, it was just a story.”

I never actually knew what he was doing. I was outside his world, even though he was inside of mine. Really, he was my entire world.”

Overall, I wanted more character development.

3 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts

June 2025 Reads

amybenoit

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog since I have had other priorities. I read 3 books in June. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in June.

The novel “Motherhood” by Sheila Heti follows a woman in her late 30s as she grapples with whether or not to have children. This book was not plot-driven; it was more like a long internal monologue in which the woman constantly questions what it means to be a mother and whether motherhood would enhance or diminish her life. I didn’t like the writing style, but it was thought-provoking at times. Here are some key lessons from this book:

  • the pressure of societal expectations for women to have children
  • motherhood as a choice, not an obligation
  • motherhood is often tied to a woman’s identity
  • the cost of motherhood – sacrifice of time, freedom, and sometimes the dreams or ambitions women may have for themselves
  • Women are often expected to become mothers, while men are not held to the same societal standards.

Quotes that stood out to me:

Do I want children because I want to be admired as the admirable sort of woman who has children? Because I want to be seen as a normal sort of woman, or because I want to be the best kind of woman, a woman with not only work, but the desire and ability to nurture, a body that can make babies, and someone who another person wants to make babies with?

We are miserly with ourselves when it comes to space and time. But doesn’t having children lead to the most miserly allotment of space and time? Having a child solves the impulse to give oneself nothing. It makes that impulse into a virtue.

Whether I want kids is a secret I keep from myself. On the one hand, the joy of children. On the other hand, the misery of them. On the one hand, the freedom of not having children. On the other hand, the loss of never having had them.”

To clear things up, these quotes stood out to me, but these are not my personal thoughts.

3 out of 5 stars

“Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow: 12 Simple Principles” was written by Karen Casey, a speaker and author of 16 books. Here are some lessons that resonated with me:

  • Tend your own garden. Focusing outside ourselves and attempting to control other people is a clever avoidance technique that helps us escape having to look at our own sometimes troubling behavior.
  • We are not in charge of others! Not their behavior, their thoughts, their dreams, their problems, their successes, or their failures.
  • Let go of outcomes. No matter what we do or how perfect our input, we are never in control of the outcome of any situation. You are responsible for making the effort – nothing more.
  • Don’t let the mood swings of others determine how you feel.

Any thought can be released. We are fully responsible for our thoughts and can take charge of them whenever we need or want to. No one can take charge of your thoughts, and thus your life, without your compliance.

Be vigilant about your choices. If what you are seeking is peace, you must be vigilant about the choices you make. The ego will often beckon you to choose gossip, criticism, comparisons, judgements, jealousy, fear, and anger – none of these choices will lead you to peace.

4 out of 5 stars

“The Mindful Catholic” is based on an eight-week program called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and was written by Gregory Bottaro, the director of the Catholic Psych Institute and the developer of the Catholic Mindfulness Online Course. Here are some takeaways:

Mindfulness = paying attention to the present moment without judgment or criticism. Curiosity is the disposition of mind that we are seeking to cultivate when we practice mindfulness. Mindfulness does not mean turning off the thoughts in your mind but using them as a door to greater awareness of yourself.

Tendencies vs. Mindfulness:

  • analyzing vs. sensing
  • striving vs. accepting
  • thoughts are real vs. mental events
  • avoidance vs. approaching with curiosity
  • mental time travel vs. present moment
  • depleting vs. nourishing activities

This book also covered mindfulness exercises. As someone who isn’t experienced with mindfulness, here is my favorite:

  • Sacramental pause – Start with prayer (“Ever-present God, here with me now, help me to be here with you“). Open your awareness to any thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations, then narrow your focus to the physical sensation of your breath alone, and finally expand the focus to the physical sensations of your whole body.

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

March 2025 Reads

amybenoit

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog since I had other priorities in March. I read 5 books in March. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in March.

“We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships” was written by Kat Vellos. Kat’s writing is read in over 100 countries and she has been featured in several news outlets. Find out more at katvellos.com. This book helps adults create fulfilling friendships that last a lifetime and tackles challenges of adult friendships and how to make and maintain friendships through more meaningful conversations, identifying quality connections, and prioritizing them. Since starting school, many of my friendships have changed. I got a lot out of this book, but here is just a handful of tips:

  • Friendship factors: compatibility, proximity, frequency, and commitment. We show our commitment through 5 core behaviors: openness, caring, trust, dedication, and reciprocity.
  • One of the biggest complaints that comes up when people talk about friendship during adulthood is that everyone’s so busy all the time – work, school, kids, marriage, etc. Maybe the reason we’re “so busy” is because we’re binging shows and endlessly scrolling through social media. Take control of your time. Do you lack the time or the dedication?
  • Ask open-ended questions and follow-up questions to pull you deeper into conversation. Some fun ideas:
    • What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?
    • What’s a book that you think everyone should read?
    • If you had to spend one hour a day studying a topic or practicing a skill, what would you pick up and why?
    • If you had to be a teacher for the rest of your life, what would you teach?
    • What were three songs that you loved as a teenager?
    • What was a low point during this year for you? How did you handle it?
    • What excites you?

I highly recommend this book and will post more about it in a future blog.

5 out of 5 stars

“The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Libraries: True Stories of the Magic of Reading” was arranged by James Patterson and Matt Eversmann. James is the most popular storyteller of our time and has received several awards. This book consisted of short essays from booksellers and librarians. Here are some of my many takeaways:

Having a good library is not political. A good library will have books on vegetarianism and hunting. A good library will have books on every religion. A good library will have books about all eras of history, from ancient Rome to the Civil War to the Holocaust. A good library will have books about different countries, different cultures, and different life experiences.

“I don’t see the library going away at all. We’ll just have to keep up with whatever comes next and evolve with what the citizens want. We hope they continue to want what we provide: lifelong learning and joy.”

Public libraries are open to everyone. And free. There aren’t that many public spaces left where you can go without the expectation of spending money.

I highly recommend this book to get perspectives from booksellers and librarians.

5 out of 5 stars

“The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World” was written by Hannah Brencher, a writer, TED speaker, and entrepreneur. Hannah challenged herself to 1,000 unplugged hours in one year – taking back a life that had slowly become less present, less awake, and less vibrant over time. This book was a weaving of a memoir, cultural commentary, and spiritual insights. Here are some takeaways:

  • What would happen if we checked into the lives we’re building as much as we checked into other people’s lives online?
  • Think about something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time – something you keep pushing off because of e-mail, mindless scrolling, or yet another binge-worthy show. Whatever it is, power down your phone and do that thing you’ve been wanting to do. After one hour, turn your phone back on. You’ll have missed out on nothing, but gained something back instead: a piece of your time, a tiny sliver of your life.
  • Before taking the challenge, define what “unplugged” means to you. For the author, it means not using your phone, internet, social media, tv, or consuming any form of digital media. Build your boundaries intentionally.
  • Don’t believe the lie that you don’t have enough time. Instead, acknowledge that exercising, reading, etc. just isn’t a priority for you right now. Scrolling on your phone takes up a lot of time. The time is there; it’s just waiting to be reclaimed.

The double-edged truth about the devices we hold is that there will always be something to check. Something to read. Some way to improve. Something to watch. Another thing to reply to. Something to share. Another comment to make.

Scrolling in bed in morning: “I was allowing other people’s fingerprints – their agendas, opinions, praise, and problems – to get all over my day before my feet even touched the ground.”

There’s often a disconnect between the life people are living and the life they’re curating for others to see. In the unplugged hours, ask yourself: Does this moment still matter to you if no one else knows you went, saw, lived, ate, loved, fought, and tried? Does this moment still matter to you if you never pull out your phone to tell people that it happened?

I highly recommend this book for anyone feeling like they are on their phones too much and that they don’t have time to do things they’ve been putting off, including maintaining friendships.

4 out of 5 stars

“What If YOU Are the Answer? And 26 Other Questions That Just Might CHANGE YOUR LIFE” was written by Rachel Hollis, a speaker, podcast host, entrepreneur, and #1 New York Times bestselling author whose work has impacted millions of readers worldwide. This book was thought-provoking. Here are some things that resonated with me.

  • What Who are you waiting for? Live your life. Try new stuff and see if you like it. Learn to look at other humans as individual plays in their own stories without feeling the need to write yours the same way. Listen to your heart, your gut, and your inner knowing. Give yourself permission to change lanes, directions, occupations, beliefs, and other things you need to on the journey of trying your best to do your best.
    • Realize that no one else can solve our problems, heal our wounds, or make the most of the opportunity we’ve been given. You are the hero you’ve been waiting for.
  • What must you let go of to be the person you want to be?
  • What’s bigger, your dreams or your excuses?
  • Knowing what you know today, would you sign up for this again? Job, friends, relationships, projects, etc. If not, what are you going to do about it?
  • Who would you be without your fear?
    • There are two kinds of fear: 1) clear and present danger of a very real threat 2) imaginary fear we create by dreaming up what might happen – anything you’ve never done, places you’ve never gone, conversations you’ve never had, and people you don’t know
    • Anything you’re curious about or interested in but don’t pursue because of what might happen is you allowing your fear to control you.

I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to reflect on their lives and personal growth and make changes.

4 out of 5 stars

“Burps” is a children’s book written by Grace Hansen. I wanted to learn more about burping since this is new to me. Here are some tidbits:

  • When we eat and drink, we swallow food and water, but we also swallow air. Air contains gases like nitrogen and oxygen.
  • Too much gas in the esophagus and stomach can be uncomfortable. Burping releases this excess gas.
  • Carbonated drinks contain carbon dioxide and can cause us to burp.
  • Bacteria in our digestive tract helps break down food. Hydrogen peroxide can be made int he process. This gas smells like rotten eggs.
  • Burping is our body’s way of releasing excess gas.

Although this book said that everyone burps, that is not true! Some people have a condition called RCPD (inability to burp).

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

February 2025 Reads

amybenoit

I read four books in February. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in February.

“Rolling Warrior” was written by Judith Heumann with Kristen Joiner. Judith is an internationally recognized leader in the disability rights movement. She has advocated for disability rights at home and abroad, serving in the Clinton and Obama administrations and as the World Bank’s first advisor on disability and development. Kristen is a writer and activist who tries to tell stories that change how people see the world. This book was the young reader’s edition of Judith’s acclaimed memoir “Being Heumann.”

Judith became sick with polio when she was 18 months old. Most people who get it are fine after a week or two, but some end up paralyzed and not able to move. Judith was paralyzed and can move her arms and hands, but can’t walk, dress herself, or go to the bathroom by herself. Judith detailed the challenges of living with polio:

  • Having a manual wheelchair when streets had curbs with no ramps
  • not going to a typical school until she was 14 years old – 1 1/2 hours away because her neighborhood school wasn’t accessible
  • having to ask other students for assistance when needing to go to the bathroom
  • having to ask other students for assistance to get into her dorm, which had a step
  • engaging in a sit-in protest with 150 disabled people to prompt the signing of Section 504.

Section 504 of Title V of the 1973 Rehabilitation Act prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities in institutions and programs receiving federal funding. Judith’s lifelong work also contributed to the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).

My story is similar to so many other people’s – those with and without disabilities. Telling our stories helps strengthen our ability to continue to fight against injustice. Sharing the stories about how we want our world to be – and then turning these dreams and visions into reality – is what we must all commit to doing.

4 out of 5 stars

“What I Told My Daughter: Lessons from Leaders on Raising the Next Generation of Empowered Women” was edited by Nina Tassler with Cynthia Littleton. Nina Tassler spent more than a decade as head of entertainment programming for CBS. This book consisted of short essays. Here are some of the many quotes from the essays that stood out to me.

We tell our girls that they can do anything, be anything, that the world is theirs for the taking. We encourage them – expect them – to be ultra-high achievers with lofty goals for college and beyond. I fear we may sometimes put too much pressure on our girls, imbue them with impossible standards. I worry that our dreams for them may sometimes, unintentionally, lead them to believe they can never make mistakes, and that perfection is more important than resilience. I want her to know that not only can she success, but that she can fail without being a failure, be hurt without being diminished, and be embarrassed without being ashamed.

  • “They always have the right to change their minds, especially when it comes to their personal happiness, whether it involves friendships, potential partners, and even career choices.”
  • “There are so many lessons we teach our daughters every single day – by what we say and do and how we treat others and how we let them treat us. We lead by example.”
  • “Choose friends who care about your feelings. Choosing the right people in whom to entrust our emotions and vulnerabilities may be the hardest but most important skill we learn in life.”

4 out of 5 stars

“Your Journey to Financial Freedom” was written by Jamila Souffrant, founder of Journey to Launch and the host of the podcast of the same name. She has been featured by several news outlets and is a certified financial education instructor. This book covered financial independence, creating your enjoyable financial independence plan, executing it, increasing income, paying down liabilities/debt, increasing assets, and staying the course and enjoying the journey. I got a lot out of this book. Here are some key points:

  • This book covered 5 journeyer stages, each of which has different financial priorities. This book also covered 5 different guacamole levels, which correspond with different lifestyle levels.
  • There are 6 components you’ll need to work on to help you reach financial independence: income, expenses, liabilities, assets, mindset, and habits.
  • This book encourages readers to evaluate their expenses based on their journeyer stage and guac level. Consider whether you are comfortable with sacrificing everyday indulgences now to achieve a bigger guac level later, whether you plan to maintain the same level in the future when you reach financial independence, and what guac level you can realistically live at now while working toward financial independence and the guac level you want to maintain once you reach it. Many people assume they need the same income in retirement but have goals of traveling more and living a more luxurious life. Evaluate your lifestyle and expenses now compared to your desired lifestyle and expenses later.
  • This book covered ways to increase income, set savings goals, optimize expenses, create a debt payoff plan, and increase assets.

It isn’t all about the future and living your best life in retirement. What are the things that you want and wish to do when you reach financial independence and how can you start doing them now? ex: hobbies and vacations

Don’t put your joy and freedom on layaway. The thing about living too much in the future or waiting for the next is that by the time you accomplish or have those things, your life has passed you by. Figuring out how to enjoy the now no matter where you are is critical to a peaceful and sustainable journey. Find joy right where you are.

This book was very comprehensive and educational, and I highly recommend it!

5 out of 5 stars

“Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life” was written by Matt Paxton with Jordan Michael Smith. Matt is one of America’s top downsizing and hoarding experts, has been the featured cleaner on Hoarders, is the host of Legacy List with Matt Paxton, has been featured in several news outlets, and has helped thousands of people from all walks of life leave behind belongings that no longer serve them so that they can finally take the next step. Jordan Michael Smith is an award-winning journalist, author, ghostwriter, and speechwriter. This book is also in collaboration with AARP, the nation’s largest nonprofit, nonpartisan organization dedicated to empowering people aged 50+ to choose how they live as they age. Here are some of many tips that resonated with me:

  • Clean or declutter for 10 minutes every night 5x/week. Stick to it.
  • Set a deadline to keep yourself accountable and force you to do the hard work even when you don’t feel like it.
  • Understand your why. What are your reasons for decluttering? Less stress? More space for stuff? Moving?
  • The best predictor of whether you’ll need an item is whether you are currently using it or have recently used it, not whether you think that, one day, somehow, somewhere, you’ll use it. In all likelihood, that day will never come. Love who you actually are and force yourself to say goodbye to your “fantasy self” items, the stuff you think you’ll use when you’re a different version of yourself. Ex: exercise equipment, clothes that are way too small
  • Give yourself permission to give. Don’t confuse the emotional worth with the economic worth. Something is only worth financially what an independent third party will give you.

Free yourself from guilt. We think we’re expected to carry on not just traditions passed down to us, but actual belongings. The reality is that you aren’t obligated to any thing or lifestyle other than the one you want. Let go of expectations about your obligations to inanimate objects.

Ask yourself, “What are the items that will help me live happily and keep my story living on forever?” Discover your legacy and feel free to keep 5-6 items that are intensely personal, both to the giver and the receiver.

We confuse the sentimental value of our objects with the financial value they’ll have to others. It’s only human to believe our stuff is worth more than it actually is because we attach emotions and memories to those items. Selling our belongings means separating the powerful emotional value from the brutal financial reality of what those possessions are worth in the marketplace.

I highly recommend this comprehensive book! It contains tips for decluttering, moving, creating a Legacy List of items, giving items away, selling items, and contains many resources.

5 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 6, 2025

amybenoit

As I discern the frequency of Thoughtful Thursday posts going forward, I wanted to share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Life Kit – The science behind the FDA ban on food dye Red No. 3

  • Desserts, candy, and medications that are bright cherry red often contain synthetic Red dye No. 3. It has been known to cause cancer in rats.
  • The FDA is now banning it in food and ingested drugs (revoking authorization)
  • Red dye No. 3 is a petroleum-based dye that gives products a bright cherry red color.
  • 2002 – petition was filed with the FDA to ban the dye, and the FDA has been reviewing the petition and research ever since.
    • Red dye No. 3 in high doses causes cancer in rats. The FDA previously concluded it was safe for humans in the amounts used in food and said that Americans aren’t going to eat Red dye No. 3 in amounts large enough to cause cancer
  • 2023 – California became the first U.S. state to ban Red dye No. 3, although the ban doesn’t take effect until 2027.

The Environment Working Group has compiled a list of over 3,000 packaged foods and drinks that contain Red dye No. 3!

  • There are also concerns about other synthetic food dyes linked to behavioral issues  and ADHD-like symptoms in children.
  • These dyes are more common in cheaper, ultra-processed foods.
  • Food manufacturers have until January 2027 to remove red dye no. 3 from their products.
    • Replacing with Red 40 (also linked to behavioral issues in kids) or natural food compounds found from fruits and vegetables (ex: beets)
  • Check food labels and try to avoid food dyes.

Chasing Life – Want a Healthier Mocktail? Here’s How

Disclaimer: My body doesn’t tolerate carbonation, alcohol, or mocktails, so I haven’t tried these recommendations!

  • Add water to get the volume right. Ex: instead of 2 oz of gin, add 2 oz of water.
  • Mocktails, like cocktails, are actually meant to be small and savory. You don’t need to use a lot of added sugar or syrups. Not meant to be a 12 oz beverage
  • If limiting alcohol instead of going alcohol-free, use sherry or fortified wines. These provide more of a flavor profile than NA drinks.
  • When you go alcohol-free, there is a chance you won’t miss it!
  • Many zero-proof options rely heavily on sodas, fruit juices, and syrups to try to compensate for the lack of alcohol. You can add water to tone down the sweetness.
  • 1 month without alcohol will improve your sleep, boost your energy, and lower your blood pressure. That’s pretty good incentive.

Self Improvement Daily – Plant Yourself In Fertile Soil

One of the most important impacts of your life and your success is your environment. Your environment is always pushing you to take make certain choices and take certain actions. 

It’s the difference between hanging around friends who always want to meet up for drinks instead of hanging out while hiking, working out, or socializing without alcohol. It’s the difference between having access to healthy food in your pantry rather than always grabbing and stocking up on junk food. It’s the difference between having a good book by your bed versus only having your phone within arm’s reach.

Environment influences what happens without our awareness. The majority of the time, we’re acting unconsciously and automatically.

“Here’s a metaphor I like to use that demonstrates the power of environment. Think of the potential of a seed.

A seed has everything it needs to grow into a tall mighty tree. A seed is fully capable, yet most of the time, it doesn’t even sprout. Why? Because it’s dependent on the soil. The seed requires a certain environment to thrive.

The same seed planted in two different places can lead to two very different outcomes. When it’s in fertile soil, it grows tall and strong. When it’s planted in sand, it doesn’t even have a chance. And that’s not because there’s anything wrong with the seed. It’s just in the wrong environment.

As humans, we experience the same thing. There are environmental conditions that bring out our best. The right people, opportunities, circumstances, and spaces set us up for success. But there are also environments that bring out our ‘not so best’, causing us to make choices that don’t serve us and limit our potential.

Unlike a seed, however, we can control our environment. We can choose our surroundings and therefore, shape the influence it has on us. We can plant ourselves in fertile soil and when we do, that’s when we are maximizing our growth and potential! 

If you’re falling short of the level of consistency, productivity, good health habits, and impact that you know you’re capable of, it’s probably because you’re in the wrong soil. Choose to put yourself in a place where you can thrive and watch the results pour in!”

TED Talks Daily – The secret to telling a great story – in less than 60 seconds

  • Many great stories start with a question because it will make people stick until the end to find out the answer.
  • You want to get your audience’s attention immediately, so you want to start by asking something shocking.
  • After you’ve hooked your audience, you want to take them on a journey building up to your answer where you want them to feel constant progression so that as we’re moving closer and closer to our answer, they feel like they can’t stop listening.
  • If everything is smooth sailing, nobody cares. We want to add conflict before getting to our answer. Without conflict, the audience isn’t as invested.
  • After enough buildup, we finally need our answers. Build tension by making the answer feel uncertain to make a satisfying ending.
  • If it takes longer to tell your story than it does to make a fast food burger, you’re probably overcooking both.

I’ve noticed this trend often on TikTok. People tell short stories with conflict to capture interest and build up progression before detailing the end of the story.

Mary’s Cup of Tea – How to Make Adult Friendships Easier with Kat Vellos

  • Connecting with existing friends more easily: If you are a busy or forgetful person, set reminders in your phone to follow up with the person. Don’t leave your hangout without setting your next hangout (just like a salon appointment). Connect your friends to each other to share time together.
  • Making more friends nearby: Be aware of your limits and take it step by step. Start by making acquaintances with the people who already live near you and are easier to fit into the life you’re living – people on your block, people in your apartment building, people in your town. Become a regular at a third place – neither home nor work – somewhere you go to for enjoyment – gym, coffee shop, brewery, bar, etc. Host friends with frequency – ex: Sunday dinners at home.
  • When we say that friendship is hard, we often say it’s hard because we’re afraid to introduce ourselves to new people, scheduling is hard, we’re too busy, we aren’t getting close fast enough to people, friends don’t give as much as they take, etc. When we say friendship is hard, we might mean that having courage is hard, having confidence is hard, prioritization and persistence is hard, having patience is hard, or taking risks and dealing with disappointments and rejection is hard. These things are part of life, not just friendships!
  • If someone says you should get together and you reach out and they don’t schedule something, follow up suggesting something you think they would say yes to!
  • On average, adults lose 1-2 friends per year because they fall out of touch and things fade away. Like plants, you need to water and nourish your friendships.

Book: “We Should Get Together” – I look forward to reading this!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

October 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read six books in October, two of which were short poetry books. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in October.

“Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World” is a Christian book written by Jennie Allen and is filled with stories, science-based insights, and practical ideas for building deep community. I had several takeaways from this book, but here are just a few.

5 out of 5 stars

“We’re all just kind of waiting for connection to find us. We’re waiting for someone else to initiate and be there for us. We’ve replaced intrusive, real conversations with small talk, and we’ve substituted soul-bearing, deep, connected living with texts and a night together every once in a while. Quit waiting for people to reach out to you. Start initiating and asking people the questions you wish they’d ask you.”

Factors to look for in friendships include availability, humility, proximity, transparency, consistency, accountability to others, and a shared purpose.

Some ideas for building friendships:

  • invite friends to bonfires
  • plan get togethers
  • intentional, active listening
  • affirm your friends
  • ask your friends about the highs and lows of their week
  • join a club
  • ask deep questions
  • listen
  • share the real stuff

“A Good Time for the Truth: Race in Minnesota” is a collection of stories of what it’s like to live as a person of color in Minnesota, was published by the Minnesota Historical Society Press, and was edited by Sun Yung Shin.

4 out of 5 stars

Here are some quotes that stood out to me:

“[People] unconsciously believe you are unfit to mother your own child simply because you are a Black woman.”

“Sometimes I catch myself staring at my son, wondering what he is going to do when someone gives him a piece of paper with boxes on it and asks him to check the box saying who he is – if he is going to pause before marking “Black.” As I do. Because Black is not a race.”

“To be a Korean adoptee in Minnesota is to be both hypervisible and invisible at the same time. It means that people can tell you they don’t see you as Korean as if that is a compliment.”

“If My Flowers Bloom” is a Button Poetry book of poems by Deshara Suggs-Joe, a queer, Black poet and visual artist. These poems were about desire, and many were sexual in nature. Honestly, this book was not one I enjoyed. I have included a snippet of my favorite poem from the book.

2 out of 5 stars

“ex traction” is a Button Poetry book of poems by Lara Coley, a San Francisco poet and educator who has taught creative writing and ESL in juvenile detention centers, schools, universities, and mental health treatment centers. Lara’s poems sharply dissect love relationships, and many are abuse and loving emotionally unavailable men.

4 out of 5 stars

Here are some snippets:

“How do you love so softly, so gently, so quietly, with your hand so tightly cradled around my throat?”

“We were lying on my bed and I asked him why, in our two years together, he’d never told me he loved me. He said he didn’t need to, that everyone knew. Een Jessica knows, he said. Well, good for her, I said. Good for Jessica.”

“She is wearing your affection like a coat, tailored to fit her. I remember stretching your love around my shoulders like a misshapen shovel that would never cover any parts of me that needed warmth.”

“Never Not Working: Why the Always-On Culture is Bad for Business – and How to Fix It” was written by Malissa Clark, associate professor of industrial-organizational psychology at the University of Georgia. Malissa is also a recognized expert on the topics of workaholism, overwork, burnout, and employee well-being. I highly recommend this book and will post about it in more detail sometime.

5 out of 5 stars

This book was filled with helpful information. This book covered signs of workaholic behavior, how to counteract workaholic behavior, the main components of workaholism, specific signals of workaholic culture within an organization, overwork assessments, and questions to ask after you get a job offer. Here are some of my many take-aways.

The most direct way to figure out what’s valued in a culture isn’t to listen to what people say is important. It’s to pay attention to who gets rewarded and promoted to leadership roles. Groups elevate people who represent their principles and advance their goals.

Here are some signs of workaholic behavior:

  • rumination – always thinking about work
  • overcommitment – always taking on too much and not knowing limits
  • busyness – always doing – unstructured time feels uncomfortable
  • perfectionism – nothing is ever good enough
  • poor delegation
  • poor scoping – underestimating how long it will take to do something
  • catastrophizing

3 questions to ask after you get a job offer to learn about the culture (courtesy of Work Life with Adam Grant):

  • Tell me about something that happens here that wouldn’t happen elsewhere.
  • Tell me about a time when people didn’t walk the talk here.
  • Tell me a story about who gets hired, promoted, and fired around here.

“All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive” was written by Rainesford Stauffer, an author, journalist, and speaker. This book contained a thoughtful exploration of ambition. Although this book contained several ramblings, there were some great takeaways.

4 out of 5 stars

So many modern ideas of ambition are rooted in work-related self-development, self-improvement, and career mobility, but ambition isn’t just about work. For those of us who feel that our performance at work – or our ambition – is the most valuable, worthiest, and most significant part of us, and thus, the most important part of our lives, we lose ourselves at the center of our stories.

Two primary sources of influence of our self-concept are our childhood experiences and our evaluation by others. Evaluation is ambition’s sidekick. Ambition is often registered as achievement.

Don’t let the world place limits on your ambition. Our efforts, time, imagination, and care can be oriented toward what matters to us most deeply in the face of a world that’s screaming to-do lists at us. Ambitions can be demonstrated in your hobbies, your values, how you care for yourself, your contributions to your community and causes, your friendships, etc.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • Think about your unrésuméd self – What are the things that actually fill you up that no one cares about, or you can’t put on your resume?
  • Who came up with this aspiration? Is it my idea or something random I thought I should aspire to?
  • What resources does it take to be ambitious about this, and is it worth it?
  • What does this ambition serve? It is me, a loved one, or something I care deeply about, or just an arbitrary marker of success?
  • How can the personal definitions we have of ambition expand?

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts

Thoughtful Thursday – October 24, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Stuff You Should Know – The Story of Spirit Halloween

  • Spirit Halloween in the United States is well-known for being a giant Halloween pop-up store that sprouts up in old malls, strip malls, and old big-box stores that are 7,000-10,000 square feet. 
  • There are more than 1,400 stores in the U.S. between August and November. Some are within miles of one another.
  • Spirit Halloween hires 25,000 temporary employees August-November. Stores close on November 2. Spirit Halloween’s online store is open year-round. 
  • 30-40% of stock carries over from year to year 
  • Keys to their growth plan:
    • presence
    • ads
    • 10,000 foot storefront close to another big-box store such as Target/Walmart/shopping center
    • expand beyond just costumes (include décor)  

Life Kit: Health – How to cut ultra-processed foods from your diet 

  • Packaged foods – high levels of salt and fat, added sugars, added colorings, added flavorings, hydrolyzed protein isolate, high fructose corn syrup, bulking agents like maltodextrin – tend to have a lot of additives  
  • Foods that are made with ingredients derived from foods and reassembled to create a product 
  • There is a lot of research linking overconsumption of ultra-processed foods to poor health outcomes, like type two diabetes, obesity, hypertension, cardiovascular disease, etc.  
  • Look at the ingredient list. Ignore the health claims on the packaging. If there are ingredients you don’t recognize and wouldn’t have in your home kitchen, it’s an ultra-processed food. 
  • Even if it’s ultra-processed, look for things lower in sugar or no added sugars that have some fiber and protein. 
  • Craving salt? Think about eating nuts. If you love breakfast cereals, look for something with protein and fiber. Yogurt – look for something with low or no added sugar and use some fresh berries to sweeten it. Look for a high protein option. 
  • Canned items like vegetables and beans often have added sodium. You can rinse them in a colander to cut out some salt. 
  • Focus more on eating things you know you should be eating more of, such as fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables. 
  • Cooking more from scratch at home is always a better option.
  • Aim for the 80/20 rule – eat 80% clean, whole foods, and splurge on up to 20% of your diet. 
  • Truefood.tech – tells you how processed food items are – look up your brand and product – suggests less processed alternatives 
    • This website is fascinating!

You can type in a brand and product and it will show you a processing score, ingredients (and additives), and alternatives and their processing scores!

Before Breakfast – Make it worth the commute 

  • If you are going to go into the office, make it worth the commute. Use your in-office time for relationship building and collaboration. 
  • You don’t want to spend your time and energy going somewhere just to e-mail and call people in other places because you can do that from home. 
  • When you’re just getting to know a new colleague, in-person conversations can be valuable. Schedule lunch, conversations, or coffee with a colleague during your in-office days. 

The Big Flop – The Truth About D.A.R.E. 

  • Some studies show a higher rate of drug use among D.A.R.E. participants than those who didn’t participate.
  • Drug Abuse Resistance Education (D.A.R.E.) is best remembered due to the ads and PSAs that were intended to promote “Just say no.”
  • Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act – D.A.R.E. is the only program that is eligible for funding from this law, so they got federal money to go nationwide
  • There was an 80-hour course for D.A.R.E. officers
  • ¾ of all school districts in the United States used the program. Over 5.5 million kids were exposed to the program, and over 11,000 police officers were involved. Each year, between $600-750 million of taxpayer money was spent on D.A.R.E.
  • Nancy Reagan – honorary D.A.R.E. graduate – backed D.A.R.E.
  • D.A.R.E. curriculum:
    • Alternatives to doing drugs: deep breathing
    • Strategies to keep yourself safe at parks, shows, and the mall
    • Ways to say no were all extremely obvious: just walk away, just ignore the person, change the subject, etc.
    • Puts all drugs on the same level – alcohol, pot, cocaine equally serious
    • According to one D.A.R.E. workbook, you can tell when a bunch of people are up to no good if they have tattoos (!)
  • Merchandise
    • Clothing with D.A.R.E. logo, pencils that said “too cool to do drugs” – depending on how much you sharpened it, it would bring the wrong message – eventually to just “do drugs” or “drugs”
  • Criticisms of the program:
    • Person who came up with D.A.R.E. testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee that people who use drugs, even casually, should be taken out and shot.
    • Recognize, resist, report – the report part attracts criticism because some people believe it’s turning kids into police informants
    • Kids calling on parents and sending them to prison
    • After multiple studies, the program was found to not work. The effectiveness of D.A.R.E. has yet to be established.
    • Marijuana use by teens increased. D.A.R.E. makes certain kids want to try drugs- “you can’t tell me what to do”
    • Ineffective primary prevention program
  • The program stuck around until 2009 when it was finally phased out.
  • U.S. spent over 1 trillion dollars on D.A.R.E.
  • A new version of D.A.R.E. was introduced in 2009, keeping it R.E.A.L. Refuse, explain, avoid, and leave. Some initial research indicates that this program MAY be more effective, although it’s been criticized for a lack of focus on harm reduction.
  • Misuse of funds and time

This post from Seth’s blog resonated with me this week:

Confused about good

“Confused about good

How often do we assume that popular things are good, and that good things become popular?

If your work doesn’t catch on, does that mean it wasn’t good?

In almost every field, people with insight, taste and experience admire and emulate good things that aren’t popular, and are surprised by popular things that aren’t good.

Perhaps we need to broaden our definition (or narrow it) so we can be clear about what we mean.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

September 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read three books in September 2024. School has been keeping me busy. Here is a brief synopsis of the books I read in September.

“Crossing Fifty-One: Not Quite A Memoir” was written by Debbie Russell, a retired Hennepin County Prosecutor. This book contained themes of family dynamics, building your own identity, addiction, and reducing the stigma associated with addiction.

Debbie’s grandfather suffered with asthma and admitted himself to a federal narcotic farm for his Demerol addiction, where he assisted in treating his fellow patients. In this memoir, Debbie shares insights into her family’s history through her conversations, research, and letters her grandfather wrote or received. Here are some quotes that stood out to me:

“Since most addicts have some sort of personality disorder, it follows that the basic attack on the problem of addiction is to prevent the development of such disorders. It is the current belief that most of these result from frustrated drives for security, recognition, and affection, particularly during childhood. Granting this, attention must be focused on preparing parents and prospective parents for their roles in shaping the personalities of their children.”

“It’s much harder to dig inside ourselves and try to figure out how we contribute to our own problems. It’s my current struggle. Every. Single. Day.”

“It takes amazing perspective to be able to think of a locked drug rehab facility as a ‘retreat.’ But maybe, compared to Papa’s struggles with addiction, the facility served as a haven.”

4 out of 5 stars

“We Came, We Saw, We Left: A Family Gap Year” was written by Charles Wheelan, a former correspondent for the Economist who teaches public policy ad economics at Dartmouth College. This book was an exhilarating and exciting read about the family gap year that consisted of 9 months, 6 continents, 3 teenagers, and 1 flesh-eating parasite. I learned about traveling minimally on a budget and about different destinations. Here are some takeaways:

Traveling around the world for nine months is cheaper than staying at home (if you rent out your house). The author spent less on food while traveling, didn’t have to pay for gas, and only needed storage insurance for his vehicles back home. The primary expense associated with traveling is forgone income. All-in, their budget was $60 per person per day. This was fascinating to me, although I don’t have a job that would allow me to take off for one year. To put it in perspective, according to the author, traveling around the world for nine months would only delay retirement by one year.

“Experiences, rather than things, are what make us happiest in the long run. Experiences become an ingrained part of our identity. Experiences connect us to the people with whom we share them, and experiences make up into the people we are. Even bad experiences morph into positives over time – like a funny story or a character-building experience.”

What are some lessons they learned?

  • The world is still an interesting place, and each country has its own feel and personality.
  • They are great teammates, and marriage is about picking a person you want at your side to help navigate whatever might come along, such as traveling on a low budget to bizarre places.
  • They learned that life goes on without you. They came back to a place that was pretty much the same as they had left it.
  • The greatest luxury is time – sleeping until refreshed, reading at any time of day, and wandering aimlessly.
  • There is serious environmental damage, such as air pollution in big cities and deforestation in less-developed areas.
  • It was really fun. Adventures turned out to be worthy of that anticipation, and many great moments were entirely circumstantial.

5 out of 5 stars

“Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food That Isn’t Food” was a fascinating and alarming book written by Chris Van Tulleken, who has a medical degree from Oxford and a PhD in molecular virology. Chris is an associate professor at University College London and a practicing infection diseases doctor. Chris studied ultra-processed foods (UPF) and conducted an experiment. He stopped eating UPF for 4 weeks, then ate 80% UPF for 4 weeks. He had his weight, height, BMI, and body fat measured both before and after the experiment, and he gained 6 kilograms (about 13 pounds). His appetite hormones were deranged, he had a 5x increase in leptin (the hormone that comes from fat), and his C-reactive protein (a marker that indicates inflammation) had doubled!

I learned a lot from this book. Here are some of the main points:

  • If it’s wrapped in plastic and has at least one ingredient that you wouldn’t normally find in a standard home kitchen, it’s UPF. Almost every food that comes with a health claim on the packet is UPF. UPF is high in calories, fat, and sugar and low in fiber.
  • UPF displaces diverse whole foods from the diet, especially among low-income groups. It’s addictive. The emulsifiers, preservatives, modified starches, and other additives damage the microbiome. The convenience, price, and marketing of UPF urge us to eat constantly and without thought, which leads to more snacking, less chewing, faster eating, increased consumption, tooth decay, and other health issues.
  • There are over 10,000 additives used in food in the United States – flavors, flavor enhancers, colors, emulsifiers, artificial sweeteners, thickeners, humectants, stabilizers, acidity regulators, preservatives, antioxidants, foaming agents, anti-foaming agents, bulking agents, carbonating agents, gelling agents, glazing agents, chelating agents, bleaching agents, leavening agents, clarifying agents, etc. Over 1,000 of these were self-determined to be safe and are not FDA approved.
  • “Most UPF is not food. It’s an industrially produced edible substance.”

This book covered several UPF ingredients, foods they are found in, and the damaging effects of them. One of those that stood out most to me was xanthan gum, which is found in many gluten-free foods and flours. Xanthan gum is a bacterial exudate slime that bacteria produce to allow them to cling to surfaces. “Think of xanthan gum the next time you scrape the accumulated gunk from the filter on your dishwasher.” Or don’t!

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – September 12, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – 7 Things to Spend Money On if You Want to Be a Happier Person

  • Experiences (over material goods) – collect moments, not things.
  • Invest money in relationships – pets, spouses, etc.
  • Personal development and education – think about what you like to learn about and find ways to grow and learn – buy books, take a course or attend a conference, take a trip somewhere to learn more about a culture, etc.
  • Anything related to health and wellness – gym membership, fitness equipment, therapy, quality food, etc.
  • Anything related to self-care and relaxation – massage, meditation class, hobbies, hiring a house cleaner, etc.
  • Acts of kindness and charity – spending money on other people makes us happier than spending money on ourselves. Gifts, charity donations, volunteering, etc.
  • Things that help you spend quality time in nature – outdoor activities, taking a trip in nature, etc.

What didn’t make the list? Having a bigger house, a fancier car, a designer purse, etc.

Optimal Health Daily – 10 Ways to Measure Progress (That Aren’t Weight Loss) by Amanda Wheeler

This podcast stood out to me because SO many people work out solely to achieve a certain weight or physique and are often left disappointed and discouraged from continuing to exercise because they aren’t achieving the weight they desire. There are so many reasons to exercise aside from just weight loss, and there are many other ways to measure progress that aren’t weight loss.

  • Weight lifted – Can you lift heavier this month than last month?
  • Recovery – How do you feel between sets? Are you able to bring your heart rate down quickly and bounce back in?
  • Reps for time – Can you do more work in the same amount of time or the same amount of work in less time?
  • Resting heart rate – if your resting heart rate is lower, your heart is more efficient. If you’ve been training and your resting heart rate goes down, that’s progress.
  • Aerobic window – the difference between your resting heart rate and your anaerobic threshold.
  • Mobility/range of motion – if you notice you can get more range of motion, that’s progress.
  • Energy – How do you feel during the day? Are you drinking caffeine to stay awake, or do you have a consistent pep in your step? If you no longer crash midday or reach for the extra dose of caffeine, that’s progress.
  • Sleep – Are you now waking up feeling rested? That’s progress.
  • Clothing – Is your clothing getting looser? Using clothing to measure progress is a great way to feel good about yourself without diminishing the feeling by the number on the scale.
  • Confidence – How do you feel about yourself? Feeling more confident is a measure of progress that gets overlooked.

Optimal Relationships Daily – 12 Relationship Truths I Wish I Knew 12 Years Ago by Marc Chernoff

  • You have to love yourself first. Fall in love with yourself and share that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.
  • You get what you put in. The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you.
  • What most people think of you doesn’t matter. No one is ever going to care about your life and the way you choose to live it more than you will.
  • Friends and family won’t always support your goals, but you must pursue them anyway. Follow your intuition.
  • Life doesn’t always change as fast as people do. Not everyone is who you once knew.
  • Love requires three things: acceptance, honesty, and commitment.
  • A big part of who you become is who you choose to surround yourself with.
  • A soul mate is a person who brings out the best in you.

I really enjoyed this post from Seth’s Blog:

Your audiobook

“Your audiobook

Here’s a useful habit that’s more than a hack…

The next time things are going well, when a project is about to launch, when a meeting has been successful, when the sun is shining… take your phone and go for a walk.

Hit record on an audio app and make a twenty-minute audiobook. Talk about what you know, what you see, what you hope for. Talk about the change you seek to make and how you’re going to get there.

And then save it.

Save it for when you need to hear from that person who recorded it.

It might become the best audiobook you own.”

Before Breakfast – Be flexible on the details

It’s okay to have requirements but be flexible on the details of how people can achieve them. The more flexible you can be on the details, the more loyalty you will probably engender. For a great many things, it is the outcome that matters.

When people can have some choice and autonomy about the details, they feel more in control of their lives. High expectations seem less burdensome, which makes it more likely that they will be met.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!