Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 6, 2025

As I discern the frequency of Thoughtful Thursday posts going forward, I wanted to share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Life Kit – The science behind the FDA ban on food dye Red No. 3

  • Desserts, candy, and medications that are bright cherry red often contain synthetic Red dye No. 3. It has been known to cause cancer in rats.
  • The FDA is now banning it in food and ingested drugs (revoking authorization)
  • Red dye No. 3 is a petroleum-based dye that gives products a bright cherry red color.
  • 2002 – petition was filed with the FDA to ban the dye, and the FDA has been reviewing the petition and research ever since.
    • Red dye No. 3 in high doses causes cancer in rats. The FDA previously concluded it was safe for humans in the amounts used in food and said that Americans aren’t going to eat Red dye No. 3 in amounts large enough to cause cancer
  • 2023 – California became the first U.S. state to ban Red dye No. 3, although the ban doesn’t take effect until 2027.

The Environment Working Group has compiled a list of over 3,000 packaged foods and drinks that contain Red dye No. 3!

  • There are also concerns about other synthetic food dyes linked to behavioral issues  and ADHD-like symptoms in children.
  • These dyes are more common in cheaper, ultra-processed foods.
  • Food manufacturers have until January 2027 to remove red dye no. 3 from their products.
    • Replacing with Red 40 (also linked to behavioral issues in kids) or natural food compounds found from fruits and vegetables (ex: beets)
  • Check food labels and try to avoid food dyes.

Chasing Life – Want a Healthier Mocktail? Here’s How

Disclaimer: My body doesn’t tolerate carbonation, alcohol, or mocktails, so I haven’t tried these recommendations!

  • Add water to get the volume right. Ex: instead of 2 oz of gin, add 2 oz of water.
  • Mocktails, like cocktails, are actually meant to be small and savory. You don’t need to use a lot of added sugar or syrups. Not meant to be a 12 oz beverage
  • If limiting alcohol instead of going alcohol-free, use sherry or fortified wines. These provide more of a flavor profile than NA drinks.
  • When you go alcohol-free, there is a chance you won’t miss it!
  • Many zero-proof options rely heavily on sodas, fruit juices, and syrups to try to compensate for the lack of alcohol. You can add water to tone down the sweetness.
  • 1 month without alcohol will improve your sleep, boost your energy, and lower your blood pressure. That’s pretty good incentive.

Self Improvement Daily – Plant Yourself In Fertile Soil

One of the most important impacts of your life and your success is your environment. Your environment is always pushing you to take make certain choices and take certain actions. 

It’s the difference between hanging around friends who always want to meet up for drinks instead of hanging out while hiking, working out, or socializing without alcohol. It’s the difference between having access to healthy food in your pantry rather than always grabbing and stocking up on junk food. It’s the difference between having a good book by your bed versus only having your phone within arm’s reach.

Environment influences what happens without our awareness. The majority of the time, we’re acting unconsciously and automatically.

“Here’s a metaphor I like to use that demonstrates the power of environment. Think of the potential of a seed.

A seed has everything it needs to grow into a tall mighty tree. A seed is fully capable, yet most of the time, it doesn’t even sprout. Why? Because it’s dependent on the soil. The seed requires a certain environment to thrive.

The same seed planted in two different places can lead to two very different outcomes. When it’s in fertile soil, it grows tall and strong. When it’s planted in sand, it doesn’t even have a chance. And that’s not because there’s anything wrong with the seed. It’s just in the wrong environment.

As humans, we experience the same thing. There are environmental conditions that bring out our best. The right people, opportunities, circumstances, and spaces set us up for success. But there are also environments that bring out our ‘not so best’, causing us to make choices that don’t serve us and limit our potential.

Unlike a seed, however, we can control our environment. We can choose our surroundings and therefore, shape the influence it has on us. We can plant ourselves in fertile soil and when we do, that’s when we are maximizing our growth and potential! 

If you’re falling short of the level of consistency, productivity, good health habits, and impact that you know you’re capable of, it’s probably because you’re in the wrong soil. Choose to put yourself in a place where you can thrive and watch the results pour in!”

TED Talks Daily – The secret to telling a great story – in less than 60 seconds

  • Many great stories start with a question because it will make people stick until the end to find out the answer.
  • You want to get your audience’s attention immediately, so you want to start by asking something shocking.
  • After you’ve hooked your audience, you want to take them on a journey building up to your answer where you want them to feel constant progression so that as we’re moving closer and closer to our answer, they feel like they can’t stop listening.
  • If everything is smooth sailing, nobody cares. We want to add conflict before getting to our answer. Without conflict, the audience isn’t as invested.
  • After enough buildup, we finally need our answers. Build tension by making the answer feel uncertain to make a satisfying ending.
  • If it takes longer to tell your story than it does to make a fast food burger, you’re probably overcooking both.

I’ve noticed this trend often on TikTok. People tell short stories with conflict to capture interest and build up progression before detailing the end of the story.

Mary’s Cup of Tea – How to Make Adult Friendships Easier with Kat Vellos

  • Connecting with existing friends more easily: If you are a busy or forgetful person, set reminders in your phone to follow up with the person. Don’t leave your hangout without setting your next hangout (just like a salon appointment). Connect your friends to each other to share time together.
  • Making more friends nearby: Be aware of your limits and take it step by step. Start by making acquaintances with the people who already live near you and are easier to fit into the life you’re living – people on your block, people in your apartment building, people in your town. Become a regular at a third place – neither home nor work – somewhere you go to for enjoyment – gym, coffee shop, brewery, bar, etc. Host friends with frequency – ex: Sunday dinners at home.
  • When we say that friendship is hard, we often say it’s hard because we’re afraid to introduce ourselves to new people, scheduling is hard, we’re too busy, we aren’t getting close fast enough to people, friends don’t give as much as they take, etc. When we say friendship is hard, we might mean that having courage is hard, having confidence is hard, prioritization and persistence is hard, having patience is hard, or taking risks and dealing with disappointments and rejection is hard. These things are part of life, not just friendships!
  • If someone says you should get together and you reach out and they don’t schedule something, follow up suggesting something you think they would say yes to!
  • On average, adults lose 1-2 friends per year because they fall out of touch and things fade away. Like plants, you need to water and nourish your friendships.

Book: “We Should Get Together” – I look forward to reading this!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

Books I Read in 2024

Here is a complete list of the books I read in 2024, listed in the order that I read them. I was very busy with work, school, and other commitments in 2024 and did not post many detailed book reviews. When I created this blog, my intention was to read, learn, and share about the books I read, so I hope to post more book reviews in 2025.

1. 101 Things I Learned in Advertising School by Tracy Arrington with Matthew Frederick

2. The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read by Philippa Perry

3. Internal Medicine: A Doctor’s Stories by Terry Holt

4. Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann

5. Good Talk by Mira Jacobs

You can read mini book burbs about books 1-5 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/4548

6. Her Honor: My Life on the Bench . . . What Works, What’s Broken, and How to Change It by LaDoris H. Cordell

7. Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital by Elise Hu

8. I’ll Fly Away by Rudy Francisco

9. How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price

You can read mini book blurbs about books 6-9 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/4766

10. How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes

11. Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English by Valerie Fridland

12. 100 Ways to Change Your Life by Liz Moody

13. Excuse Me As I Kiss the Sky by Rudy Francisco

You can read mini book blurbs about books 10-13 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5064

14. The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton

15. Warren Buffett Invests Like A Girl And Why You Should, Too by LouAnn Lofton

16. Unreasonable Hospitality: the Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect by Will Guidara

17. The Book of (More) Delights by Ross Gay

You can read mini book blurbs about books 14-17 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5220

18. Becoming A Crime Scene Investigator by Jacqueline Detwiler-George

19. Know Your Endo by Jessica Murnane

20. The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van Der Kolk, M.D.

21. Extreme Measures: Finding a Better Path to the End of Life by Jessica Nutik Zitter, MD

You can read mini book blurbs about books 18-21 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5376

22. Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics by Lara Parker

23. Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton

24. Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier by Kevin Kelly

25. One Decision Away: Key Principles to Create What You Want in Life and Work by Paula Melo Doroff

26. In the Form of A Question: The Joys and Rewards of a Curious Life by Amy Schneider

You can read mini book blurbs about books 22-26 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5584

27. A Thousand Naked Strangers by Kevin Hazzard

28. What’s Eating Us: Women, Food, and the Epidemic of Body Anxiety by Cole Kazdin

29. The Courage of Compassion: A Journey From Judgment to Connection by Robin Steinberg

You can read mini book blurbs about books 27-29 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5734

30. The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Schafler

31. If My Body Could Speak: Poems by Blythe Baird

32. Lessons Learned and Cherished: The Teacher Who Changed My Life by Deborah Roberts

33. Picturing Joy: Stories of Connection by George Lange (Photographer)

34. To Hell With the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke

35. The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness by Robert Waldinger, MD

36. Calling A Wolf A Wolf: Poems by Kaveh Akbar

You can read mini book blurbs about books 30-36 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5858

37. Crossing Fifty-One: Not Quite A Memoir by Debbie Russell

38. We Came, We Saw, We Left: A Family Gap Year by Charles Wheelan

39. Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food that Isn’t Food by Chris van Tulleken

You can read mini book blurbs about books 37-39 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/5985

40. Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World by Jonnie Allen

41. A Good Time for the Truth: Race in Minnesota edited by Sun Yung Shin

42. If My Flowers Bloom: Poems by Deshara Suggs-Joe

43. Ex traction: Poems by Lara Coley

44. Never Not Working: Why the Always-On Culture is Bad for Business – and How to Fix It by Malissa Clark

45. All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive by Rainesford Stauffer

You can read mini book blurbs about books 40-45 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/6097

46. Where I Dry The Flowers: Poems by Ollie Schminkey

47. Self-Care Activities for Women by Cicely Horsham Brathwaite, PhD

48. How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide Words by Ron Padgett Pictures by Jason Novak

49. Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World by Devorah Heitner

50. Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact by Phil M. Jones

51. The Complications: On Going Insane in America by Emmett Rensin

You can read mini book blurbs about books 46-51 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/6226

52. The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks About Race edited by Jesmyn Ward

53. Employment Law: A Very Short Introduction by David Cabrelli

54. Learning to Disagree: The Surprising Path to Navigating Differences with Empathy and Respect by John D. Inazu

55. About Time: Poems by Neil Hilborn

56. The Little Book of Sleep: The Art of Natural Sleep by Nerina Ramiakhan

57. The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson

You can read mini book blurbs about books 52-57 here: https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/6308

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – December 12, 2024

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Mental Performance Daily – Culture Killers

TED Talks Daily – Why you think you look bad in photos

  • We’ve decided certain angles are better than others.
    • Accomplishments, achievements, love, passion, creativity, and brilliance don’t change between photos. Your children, pets, and grandchildren see you at your worst angles and don’t love you any less or care about you any less. You are worthy of being photographed.
    • We put pressure on how we are going to show up in photographs, and this pressure prevents a lot of us from showing up in photographs with and for the people we love the most.

Hidden Brain – The Secret to Gift Giving

  • Obligations are probably the single biggest reason that gifts are given in the first place, whether it’s for Christmas, a birthday, an anniversary, or a graduation. When you get a gift, it feels like you have to return that gesture at an appropriate moment – whether it’s at that moment, the next birthday, etc.
  • Recipients are often focused on the experience of the gift over the ownership of the gift. When you receive something, in the moment it might make you happy, but does it actually provide you value and utility and joy for the duration of owning whatever it is that you’ve received? Sometimes the things that bring you happiness in the moment are not the things that bring you happiness in the long-term.
  • The surprise is something that gift givers think is critical to a recipient. When I give you a gift, I have this belief that you will only value that gift if you don’t expect receiving it. That is simply not true.
  • A lot of people imagine that the reason gifts are exchanged is because we’re trying to make other people happy. But there are also selfish reasons for giving a gift, such as signaling who you are as a person and as a gift giver and signaling that you’re a creative gift giver. Sometimes people who think they’re creative make sure that the choices of gifts are creative even at the expense of the recipient. Ex: not giving the same gift to the same person another year and not giving the same gift to someone else
  • The cost of a gift is not nearly as predictive in terms of happiness of the recipient as people tend to think.
  • The research is pretty clear that recipients do not value socially conscious gifts as much as givers hope they would. Ex: charity donation, planting a tree, etc.
  • Idea: family spreadsheet – “Whenever one of us has a desire for an item of some sort that exceeds some minimum expense, we put it on there as a potential gift that we would love to receive at some point. And what’s nice about that is when it’s time to fulfill my obligation, I’m not racking my brain trying to figure out what would make her happy. It still maintains an element of surprise in the form of the timing of the object itself. She might know that she wants item X, but she’s not going to know that I’m going to give it to her at a specific time.”
  • Receiver is overjoyed when they get exactly what they want
  • Experiential gifts – less of a wow factor upon opening, but providing a very valuable experience down the road
  • Recommendation: if you’re going to give a gift, do it on a random day. The value that people get when they receive gifts on non-occasions is so much higher because they have no expectations.

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/the-next-episode

The Next Episode

December 6, 2024

We don’t have it. That’s what makes our lives different from the all the things we stream.

In streamer land we can always find out what’s next, we know the episode schedule, we have behind the scenes, we can binge it in two days and find out the end, or we can look up the end right now.

That’s why we’re drawn to movies and tv and podcasts and stories…because we long for a complete story where it all makes sense and the loose ends are perfectly tied.

But in real life we don’t have the next episode and we certainly don’t know the season finale. We’re living it.

What if they’re right?

We spend a lot of time in our own heads, certain that our path and our method make sense. We often become more certain in the face of criticism or even suggestions.

This confidence is essential, as it allows us to lean into our project.

Once in a while, though, it might help to model the alternative. What if they’re right? How would that play out? If they’re right, what could I do with that insight?

If it’s helpful, run with it.

We can always go back to being right tomorrow.

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – November 21, 2024

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Mary’s Cup of Tea – 5 Mantras to Get You Through Tough Times

Life Kit – How to slow down when you eat

  • Signs you are eating too fast: hiccups, heartburn, feeling hungry right after eating
  • Mindful eating asks us to slow down and notice our food.
  • Most nutritionists urge us to take 20 minutes to eat a meal. It takes that long for your body to get the signal to the brain that you are full. If you eat fast, your brain is not getting that signal that you are full, causing you to eat too much.

Before Breakfast – Make space for friendship

Law School Toolbox Podcast – Quick Tips – LinkedIn Best Practices for Law Students

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/what-time-do-you-open

What Time Do You Open?

November 14, 2024

Book review posts, Uncategorized

October 2024 Reads

Book review posts, Uncategorized

August 2024 Reads

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – July 25, 2024

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – 10 Mental Health Improvement Strategies Therapists Prescribe Their Patients
  • Get physical activity. Exercise reduces stress and anxiety and improves self-esteem. Find an activity that you enjoy so that you can stick to it.
  • Find a way to relax. Watching tv and scrolling on your phone stimulates your brain, so aim for ways to relax your brain. If you invest time into caring for your mental health now, you will feel better and perform better later.
  • Work on something that you’ve been putting off. The more you put something off, the more you dread doing it and the worse you feel.
  • Take care of your body. Eat a healthy diet and get adequate sleep.
  • Get social support. The people you spend time with might be the biggest factor that determines how mentally healthy you are. Having positive people in your life reduces the symptoms of mental illness. Remove yourself from toxic relationships.
Sad to Savage – Little Things to Help You Get Out Of A Rut
  • Pay attention to the people you have in your life, the environments you have, the music you listen to, the content you consume, the people you follow … all of those things can contribute to you feeling like you are in a rut.
  • Make a list of things that make you feel happy that you can turn to when you’re feeling down. Ex: family time, running, going outside, reading, etc.
Chasing Life – Does Money Buy Happiness?
Self Improvement Daily – “You can have it your way.”

Burger King’s motto “Have it your way” is a welcome reminder that each one of us matters and deserves to be cared for. We don’t need to settle for how things are; we can create a new reality for ourselves.

We can pursue our ambitions with pride. We can change our future if we have the courage to do so. Being selfish in investing in yourself can be one of the most selfless things you can do because it can great the greatest impact on others.

If you’re overstretched at work and compromising your own health, that’s not having it your way. When we enforce better boundaries about our work hours, we can have more time to fulfill ourselves in other ways.

If you don’t have as much time for the things and people you love, or the energy to do anything at the end of a long day, that’s not having it your way. When we say no to others, we say yes to ourselves.

Reordering priorities and making a commitment will start to shape your life your way. Balance your personal life, care, and passions in a way that you feel good about by figuring out how it all fits together.

The two bicycle errors

“Momentum activities like public speaking, board sports and leadership all share an attribute with riding a bicycle: It gets easier when you get good at it.

The first error we often make is believing that someone (even us) will never be good at riding a bike, because riding a bike is so difficult. When we’re not good at it, it’s obvious to everyone.

The second error is coming to the conclusion that people who are good at it are talented, born with the ability to do it. They’re not, they have simply earned a skill that translates into momentum.

There’s a difference between, “This person is a terrible public speaker,” and “this person will never be good at public speaking.”

And there’s a difference between, “They are a great leader,” and “they were born to lead.”

The thing about momentum activities is that we notice them only twice: when people are terrible at them, and when they’re good at it. That includes the person you see in the mirror.”

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – July 11, 2024

Real Simple Tips – Here are 6 Home Upgrades That Are a Waster of Money
Life Kit – Staying safe in extreme heat
The Mel Robbins Podcast – 13 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/charging-for-the-chapel

Charging For The Chapel

July 9, 2024

Would Michelangelo have painted the Sistine Chapel if he hadn’t been commissioned by the church, being paid along the way?

Probably not.

It’s ok for you to charge (lots of) money for the thing you’re good at too.

The paradox of lessons

The people most likely to sign up for coaching or additional learning are the folks who are already good at their craft.

“I’m terrible at this,” can lead to, “and I don’t want to be reminded of it.” Or perhaps, “I don’t want to waste their time,” or, “I’m never going to get better.”

When it’s possible to get better, embracing mediocrity isn’t a useful strategy.

I’d rather have a surgeon who regularly attends trainings, wouldn’t you?

Read a book, find a coach, organize a group. If you’re serious about getting better, you’ll improve.

Learning creates more competence but first, it amplifies our feelings of incompetence.”

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – May 23, 2024

Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast – 7 Steps to Increase & Boost Your Metabolism

Your metabolism determines how many calories you burn. Here are some tips to boost your metabolism.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty – 10 Steps on How To Set Boundaries Without Offending People
The Big Flop – Beanie Babies Go Bust with Ian Karmel and Brian Moller

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/taking-a-shot-on-you

Taking Shot On You

May 16, 2024

The unwarranted smile

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Mountain is You