Tag: #sethsblog

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – December 12, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Mental Performance Daily – Culture Killers

  • BCD – blaming, complaining, and getting defensive – transfer of accountability and responsibility
  • Be accountable, responsible, and coachable.
  • Another culture killer – me over we mentality – put team over yourself. When the team has success, you have success. When the team gets noticed, you get noticed. Don’t be an energy sucker.
  • Put we over me and eliminate BCD

TED Talks Daily – Why you think you look bad in photos

  • You’ve been looking at a reflection of yourself your whole life – looking in a mirror. Your brain gets a clear idea of what you look like. When you’re seeing a photograph, you’re seeing the reverse. Most of us are not symmetrical in our facial attributes.
    • Overcome this by looking at yourself in photos more.
  • You may not resonate with how you are being portrayed. Not everyone feels confident in photos.
    • Get curious and ask yourself what you’re struggling to accept about the image and whether it has anything to do with how you are being portrayed. Looking bad in photos has less to do with how you look and more to do with how you think.
  • You’ve taught yourself to hyper fixate on your insecurities.
    • Focus instead on who you were with, what you were doing, and how you were feeling the moment the photo you were taken. When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.
  • We’ve put unrealistic expectations on photography and our bodies. Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality. Photography’s only job is to capture a fraction of a second, but we’ve made these fractions of a second create a big narrative – such as I look bad in photos – that prevent us from showing up and being present in our lives.
  • We’ve decided certain angles are better than others.
    • Accomplishments, achievements, love, passion, creativity, and brilliance don’t change between photos. Your children, pets, and grandchildren see you at your worst angles and don’t love you any less or care about you any less. You are worthy of being photographed.
    • We put pressure on how we are going to show up in photographs, and this pressure prevents a lot of us from showing up in photographs with and for the people we love the most.

Hidden Brain – The Secret to Gift Giving

  • Obligations are probably the single biggest reason that gifts are given in the first place, whether it’s for Christmas, a birthday, an anniversary, or a graduation. When you get a gift, it feels like you have to return that gesture at an appropriate moment – whether it’s at that moment, the next birthday, etc.
  • Recipients are often focused on the experience of the gift over the ownership of the gift. When you receive something, in the moment it might make you happy, but does it actually provide you value and utility and joy for the duration of owning whatever it is that you’ve received? Sometimes the things that bring you happiness in the moment are not the things that bring you happiness in the long-term.
  • The surprise is something that gift givers think is critical to a recipient. When I give you a gift, I have this belief that you will only value that gift if you don’t expect receiving it. That is simply not true.
  • A lot of people imagine that the reason gifts are exchanged is because we’re trying to make other people happy. But there are also selfish reasons for giving a gift, such as signaling who you are as a person and as a gift giver and signaling that you’re a creative gift giver. Sometimes people who think they’re creative make sure that the choices of gifts are creative even at the expense of the recipient. Ex: not giving the same gift to the same person another year and not giving the same gift to someone else
  • The cost of a gift is not nearly as predictive in terms of happiness of the recipient as people tend to think.
  • The research is pretty clear that recipients do not value socially conscious gifts as much as givers hope they would. Ex: charity donation, planting a tree, etc.
  • Idea: family spreadsheet – “Whenever one of us has a desire for an item of some sort that exceeds some minimum expense, we put it on there as a potential gift that we would love to receive at some point. And what’s nice about that is when it’s time to fulfill my obligation, I’m not racking my brain trying to figure out what would make her happy. It still maintains an element of surprise in the form of the timing of the object itself. She might know that she wants item X, but she’s not going to know that I’m going to give it to her at a specific time.”
  • Receiver is overjoyed when they get exactly what they want
  • Experiential gifts – less of a wow factor upon opening, but providing a very valuable experience down the road
  • Recommendation: if you’re going to give a gift, do it on a random day. The value that people get when they receive gifts on non-occasions is so much higher because they have no expectations.

I appreciated this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/the-next-episode

The Next Episode

December 6, 2024

We don’t have it. That’s what makes our lives different from the all the things we stream.

In streamer land we can always find out what’s next, we know the episode schedule, we have behind the scenes, we can binge it in two days and find out the end, or we can look up the end right now.

That’s why we’re drawn to movies and tv and podcasts and stories…because we long for a complete story where it all makes sense and the loose ends are perfectly tied.

But in real life we don’t have the next episode and we certainly don’t know the season finale. We’re living it.

I enjoyed this post from Seth’s Blog this week:

What if they’re right?

What if they’re right?

We spend a lot of time in our own heads, certain that our path and our method make sense. We often become more certain in the face of criticism or even suggestions.

This confidence is essential, as it allows us to lean into our project.

Once in a while, though, it might help to model the alternative. What if they’re right? How would that play out? If they’re right, what could I do with that insight?

If it’s helpful, run with it.

We can always go back to being right tomorrow.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – November 14, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self-Growth Nerds – 5 Most Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself

  • What do I make ___ mean about myself? Ex: rejection – “I make it mean that I will never find someone because I am deeply flawed.” I make it mean . . . creates distance between you and your thoughts. You get to be the observer of your thoughts.
  • What else could it mean/what else could be true? This opens your mind to other possibilities that you might not have considered because you are so focused on the one that is making you suffer.
  • What would ___ say? What would someone I look up to say? What would my most loving and confident friend say?
  • So what? Dedramatize the situation you’re in.
  • Who would you be without that thought? The thought you are so attached to is a choice. Someone else with a different background might not have that thought.

TED Health – A Healthier You: A 5-step guide to better doctor visits

  • Prepare for the appointments. Write down questions or concerns to ask your doctor about.
  • Be real with your doctor, even if it feels awkward. Tell them the whole story. Tell them exactly how pain or illnesses or medical procedures affect your day-to-day life.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask questions or even get a second or third opinion. Clarifying things is necessary.
  • Bring a trusted person to your appointments if you can. Take detailed notes that you can review later.
  • Don’t be afraid to follow up. Be persistent. Push for answers or referrals to specialists. You’re never a burden for asking questions or pushing for better care. Follow up until you get the care that you deserve.
  • What’s one step that you can take today to be a better advocate for your own health? Maybe it’s scheduling an appointment you’ve been putting off, writing down questions for your next appointment, or following up and requesting a referral to a specialist.

NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – Are You Spending Like Your Generational Peers?

  • BLS data – Baby Boomers spend 95% of annual income after taxes, Gen Z spends 93% of annual income after taxes, Millennials spend 83%, and Gen X spends 84%.
  • Millennials and Gen X are spending close to 15% of total expenses on retirement. Gen Z are spending close to 12% on retirement. These are averages!
  • Food accounts for 12-13% of expenditures among all generations.
  • Groceries account for 7% of all spending and takeout takes up 6% of spending
  • Gen Z spend on average 4% on healthcare expenses.
  • The highest-earning generation spends the most money on transportation (car, flights, public transit). Gen X spent $17,000 on average in 2023 compared to $10,000 for Gen Z.

Are you spending and saving like your generational peers? Or are you doing better or worse?

  • New tax brackets for 2025 + new standard deductions

Fit, Healthy, & Happy Podcast – Fitness & Health Habits to Break

  • Pre-workout – too much caffeine. Don’t drink more than 500 mg per day. You shouldn’t need pre-workout every day. Analyze your consumption and don’t rely on pre-workout. Are you getting enough sleep?
  • Over-reliance on warms ups/needing certain machines/shoes/equipment – some people are so particular and don’t deviate from warmup routines, an Apple Watch, etc.
  • All or nothing mentality (weekends especially) – it won’t always be a perfect day to work out and you won’t have as much time as you’d like to but move your body anyway.
  • Demonizing foods – restriction causes cravings. Don’t put labels on foods. Moderation is the key to success. 80/20 clean eating
  • Neglecting sleep/recovery – cut off caffeine consumption by 12 p.m. Prioritize sleep and recovery.
  • Crutching protein and protein supplements – focus on whole food sources for protein.
  • Lifting with bad form – have a season where you really focus on perfecting your form.
  • Treating it as a chore and not having much to look forward to – if you view working out as a chore, you won’t push yourself or make progress. Find something to look forward to and set goals you want to hit. When you see results or progress, working out is more exciting. Update your routine or goals or try a new challenge.
  • Only allowing yourself to see results or having no social life – have a balance of working out and a social life. Fitness and health need to be integrated within your life. Have some flexibility with your fitness to have a social life.
  • Refusing to change your mind/update your beliefs – you need to try new things, update your beliefs, and have the capacity to change your mind. Ex: you can have carbs and still be in shape.

I enjoyed this post from Seth’s blog this week:

The problem with the movie version

“The problem with the movie version

There are lights, camera and action, but mostly there’s the unreality of making it fit.

Happily ever after, a climax at just the right moment, perfect heroes, tension, resolution and a swelling soundtrack. Every element is amplified and things happen right on schedule.

Consume enough media and we may come to believe that our life is carefully scripted, and that we’re stars of a movie someone else is directing.

This distracts us from the truth that real life is more muddled and less scripted. There is no soundtrack. We’re actually signed up for a journey and a slog. Nothing happens ever after. It’ll change, often in a way we don’t expect.

We have no choice but to condense a story when we want to film it. Our real story, on the other hand, cannot be condensed, it can only be lived. Day by day.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts

Thoughtful Thursday – October 24, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Stuff You Should Know – The Story of Spirit Halloween

  • Spirit Halloween in the United States is well-known for being a giant Halloween pop-up store that sprouts up in old malls, strip malls, and old big-box stores that are 7,000-10,000 square feet. 
  • There are more than 1,400 stores in the U.S. between August and November. Some are within miles of one another.
  • Spirit Halloween hires 25,000 temporary employees August-November. Stores close on November 2. Spirit Halloween’s online store is open year-round. 
  • 30-40% of stock carries over from year to year 
  • Keys to their growth plan:
    • presence
    • ads
    • 10,000 foot storefront close to another big-box store such as Target/Walmart/shopping center
    • expand beyond just costumes (include décor)  

Life Kit: Health – How to cut ultra-processed foods from your diet 

  • Packaged foods – high levels of salt and fat, added sugars, added colorings, added flavorings, hydrolyzed protein isolate, high fructose corn syrup, bulking agents like maltodextrin – tend to have a lot of additives  
  • Foods that are made with ingredients derived from foods and reassembled to create a product 
  • There is a lot of research linking overconsumption of ultra-processed foods to poor health outcomes, like type two diabetes, obesity, hypertension, cardiovascular disease, etc.  
  • Look at the ingredient list. Ignore the health claims on the packaging. If there are ingredients you don’t recognize and wouldn’t have in your home kitchen, it’s an ultra-processed food. 
  • Even if it’s ultra-processed, look for things lower in sugar or no added sugars that have some fiber and protein. 
  • Craving salt? Think about eating nuts. If you love breakfast cereals, look for something with protein and fiber. Yogurt – look for something with low or no added sugar and use some fresh berries to sweeten it. Look for a high protein option. 
  • Canned items like vegetables and beans often have added sodium. You can rinse them in a colander to cut out some salt. 
  • Focus more on eating things you know you should be eating more of, such as fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables. 
  • Cooking more from scratch at home is always a better option.
  • Aim for the 80/20 rule – eat 80% clean, whole foods, and splurge on up to 20% of your diet. 
  • Truefood.tech – tells you how processed food items are – look up your brand and product – suggests less processed alternatives 
    • This website is fascinating!

You can type in a brand and product and it will show you a processing score, ingredients (and additives), and alternatives and their processing scores!

Before Breakfast – Make it worth the commute 

  • If you are going to go into the office, make it worth the commute. Use your in-office time for relationship building and collaboration. 
  • You don’t want to spend your time and energy going somewhere just to e-mail and call people in other places because you can do that from home. 
  • When you’re just getting to know a new colleague, in-person conversations can be valuable. Schedule lunch, conversations, or coffee with a colleague during your in-office days. 

The Big Flop – The Truth About D.A.R.E. 

  • Some studies show a higher rate of drug use among D.A.R.E. participants than those who didn’t participate.
  • Drug Abuse Resistance Education (D.A.R.E.) is best remembered due to the ads and PSAs that were intended to promote “Just say no.”
  • Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act – D.A.R.E. is the only program that is eligible for funding from this law, so they got federal money to go nationwide
  • There was an 80-hour course for D.A.R.E. officers
  • ¾ of all school districts in the United States used the program. Over 5.5 million kids were exposed to the program, and over 11,000 police officers were involved. Each year, between $600-750 million of taxpayer money was spent on D.A.R.E.
  • Nancy Reagan – honorary D.A.R.E. graduate – backed D.A.R.E.
  • D.A.R.E. curriculum:
    • Alternatives to doing drugs: deep breathing
    • Strategies to keep yourself safe at parks, shows, and the mall
    • Ways to say no were all extremely obvious: just walk away, just ignore the person, change the subject, etc.
    • Puts all drugs on the same level – alcohol, pot, cocaine equally serious
    • According to one D.A.R.E. workbook, you can tell when a bunch of people are up to no good if they have tattoos (!)
  • Merchandise
    • Clothing with D.A.R.E. logo, pencils that said “too cool to do drugs” – depending on how much you sharpened it, it would bring the wrong message – eventually to just “do drugs” or “drugs”
  • Criticisms of the program:
    • Person who came up with D.A.R.E. testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee that people who use drugs, even casually, should be taken out and shot.
    • Recognize, resist, report – the report part attracts criticism because some people believe it’s turning kids into police informants
    • Kids calling on parents and sending them to prison
    • After multiple studies, the program was found to not work. The effectiveness of D.A.R.E. has yet to be established.
    • Marijuana use by teens increased. D.A.R.E. makes certain kids want to try drugs- “you can’t tell me what to do”
    • Ineffective primary prevention program
  • The program stuck around until 2009 when it was finally phased out.
  • U.S. spent over 1 trillion dollars on D.A.R.E.
  • A new version of D.A.R.E. was introduced in 2009, keeping it R.E.A.L. Refuse, explain, avoid, and leave. Some initial research indicates that this program MAY be more effective, although it’s been criticized for a lack of focus on harm reduction.
  • Misuse of funds and time

This post from Seth’s blog resonated with me this week:

Confused about good

“Confused about good

How often do we assume that popular things are good, and that good things become popular?

If your work doesn’t catch on, does that mean it wasn’t good?

In almost every field, people with insight, taste and experience admire and emulate good things that aren’t popular, and are surprised by popular things that aren’t good.

Perhaps we need to broaden our definition (or narrow it) so we can be clear about what we mean.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – October 10, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self-Growth Nerds – The Power of Consistency: 5 Mindset Shifts for Achieving Your Dreams

  • Consistency – to show up again and again for what is important to you – working out, journaling, sharing a blog post, going to a comedy club monthly, etc.
  • Remove the pressure of perfection. Lower the bar of your expectations.
    • Show up and be consistent. Control what you can control but know that you won’t be perfect every time. Focus on showing up and trying your best.
    • What feels alive in me right now? What is something interesting I’ve seen or heard recently, and what’s the meaning in there?
  • Commit. Make a decision and be clear in what you’re committing to.
    • Know what it is you are committing to. Ex: run one mile each day, post one blog post each week, go on one outing per week, etc.
  • Don’t expect to be consistent in every single aspect of your life. Choose your priorities wisely. Be clear about why each choice is important and accept the grief that comes with loss.
    • Choose what lights you up rather than what makes sense. Choose something you really want to do.
  • Make it a part of your identity and find pride in that.
    • “I am someone who posts a podcast every week.” “I am someone who runs every day.” “I am someone who reads every day.” Etc.“I am becoming someone who _____.” “I am someone who ____ because ____.”
    • Choose a new identity today. Choose one thing to focus on and embody that new part of your identity.
  • Never beat yourself up. Decide what kind of boss you want to be to yourself. Firm, loving, forgiving.
  • Tips:
    • Put it on the calendar. If it’s not on the calendar, it’s probably not going to happen
    • Habit stack – ex: journal while drinking coffee, watch tv while walking on the treadmill, listen to a podcast while doing chores
    • Remove pain points. Think of convenience.
    • Get an accountability partner.

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – 10 Things Being a Therapist Taught Me About the Human Experience

  • Most people fear they’re not good enough. At the heart of almost every issue is the fear of not being good enough. This manifests in different ways. One person might become an overachiever, other people just don’t try, other people change who they are or act differently depending on who is around them because they want to feel accepted.
  • Everyone has secrets – mental health issues, addictions, childhood abuse, etc.
  • People’s inner worlds are often hidden. Many people believe that their thoughts and feelings would surprise even their closest friends and family.
  • The desire for connection is universal. Many people feel lonely in a crowded room.
  • Self-criticism is rampant. We are our own harshest critics and hold ourselves to impossible standards. Self-judgment leads to guilt and anxiety. Learn to reframe your inner dialogue and train your brain to think differently and have self-compassion.
  • Change is terrifying yet desired. We crave change to improve our lives, but we fear it because we hate uncertainty.
  • Vulnerability is both feared and desired. We all have a desire to be understood, yet fear keeps us from being vulnerable.
  • Emotional pain is often masked.
  • Past experiences shape present perceptions. Our behaviors and attitudes are shaped by things that happened to us in the past.
  • Hope is a powerful force.

Real Simple Tips – 6 Tips for Keeping Lips Moisturized

  • Don’t lick your lips. Licking your lips makes the problem worse. Enzymes in saliva can break down the delicate skin, leaving your lips even drier than before.
  • Avoid irritating products. Steer clear of products containing flavorings, fragrances, menthol, camphor, eucalyptus, and beeswax.
  • Use lip balm with SPF. SPF minimizes lip dryness while also curbing your potential for skin cancer and premature aging.
  • Layer your products. Lips benefit from a hybrid approach of hydration and moisturization. Ex: Blistex medicated lip balm + Vaseline or lip oil.
  • Reapply every two hours. This regular application is crucial since activities like licking your lips, kissing, eating, or drinking can wear away the product.
  • Try an intensive lip treatment weekly or biweekly. Ex: lip mask.

Life Kit – How to talk to your loved ones about misinformation

  • Start from a place of connection, not correction.
  • If it’s just a matter of not seeing eye to eye about an issue, it’s okay to opt out to preserve the relationship.
  • Try leading with compassion, love, and empathy.
  • Take time to understand why your loved one believes the misleading content. Be in conversation with them. Recognize that their experiences impact how they engage with what they read online and what they believe.
  • Talk about where you both get your information and why you find the sources to be trustworthy. What is the evidence? Check qualifications and conflicts of interest.
  • Identify points where you do agree. Be mindful of maintaining goodwill.
  • Realize that you aren’t here to change anyone’s core beliefs. You’re simply trying to address a piece of information that is not correct.
  • Correcting political misinformation doesn’t make much difference in how much people trust that source in the future or in how likely they are going to vote for a political candidate.
  • When you do attempt to correct misinformation, provide a detailed fact check. What is actually true?
  • Corrections to misinformation are worth repeating. Don’t expect things to change after one conversation.

With this year being an election year, misinformation is rampant. Use these tips to talk to your loved ones about misinformation or simply opt to not talk about different beliefs. Sometimes people are so strong in their opinions that no evidence you provide will change them, and it’s important to recognize and accept that.

I enjoyed this blog post from Seth’s Blog this week:

Everything costs

Everything costs

But not all costs are the same.

There are three kinds of costs that people get confused about, but understanding them, really understanding them–in your bones–unlocks opportunity.

Opportunity cost: If you eat the cupcakes, you can’t also eat the brownies. Every time we choose to do something, we’re choosing not to do something else.

Sunk costs: If you’ve invested time or money in something (a law degree, a piece of real estate, a bag of chips) that money is gone. All you have left is what you bought, and that is a gift… a gift from your former self. You don’t have to accept the gift if it’s no longer useful to you. Using a gift still has real opportunity cost, and if it’s keeping you from doing something better, walk away.

Marginal cost: How much extra does this decision cost? For a subscriber, the marginal cost of watching one more show on Netflix is zero. The service costs the same regardless of how many shows you watch. On the other hand, the marginal cost of a tuna sandwich is equal to what it costs to replace the ingredients. It makes sense to prefer things with a lower marginal cost if everything else is similar.

I’ve never encountered a person who was fully rational in making decisions on any of these three sorts of costs. That’s okay. But let’s do it on purpose.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – August 29, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. It has been a while. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Life Kit – Fruit flies don’t appear out of nowhere. Here’s how to get rid of them.

  • Fruit flies are attracted to primarily fruit. Though they seem to appear out of thin air, you’re probably letting them in through the front door or bringing them in on your produce.
  • When you bring home fruit, wash it with water to remove any eggs and then put the fruit in a brown paper bag to ripen.
  • Get rid of fruit flies by building a simple trap. Fruit flies are attracted to vinegar. Red wine vinegar mixed with a bit of dish soap and water makes a great trap for fruit flies. The soap traps them. Having a small opening is even better (ex: using bottles instead of bowls or jars)
  • Fruit flies might be coming from the drain of your kitchen sink. Pour boiling water down the drain. Then fill your sink with boiling water and leave it overnight.
  • Put fruit in a small brown paper bag to ripen it without attracting fruit flies.

This product has also worked for us!

Real Simple Tips – 6 Foods You Should Never Store on the Counter

  • Eggs from a grocery store
  • Potatoes (avoid placing in sunlight on the counter)
  • Onions (avoid placing in sunlight on the counter)
  • Cucumbers
  • Peaches, bananas, avocados (put ripened produce in fridge to extend shelf life)
  • Pre-cut produce

Life Kit – How tech experts recommend organizing your photos

  • Commit to starting in the first place.
  • Whittle down the rubbish. Remove images you don’t need anymore (receipts, screenshots, duplicates, etc.)
  • Keep a regular photo maintenance routine. Do monthly organization.
  • Organize photos by date and do the tedious work of tagging to search and sort going forward. Add key words – vacation, friends, food, pet, etc.
  • Lean into machine learning and search functions to fill the gaps in your organization.
  • Back up, back up, back up. You should have three copies on two different medias and one off-site. A cloud service counts as off-site (Google Photos, Amazon Prime backup, ICloud, BackBlaze). Also have photos on your computer and a hard drive.
  • Share the photos. Make slideshows occasionally and share them with others.

NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – Why Experts Criticize “No Tax on Tips” and What It Means for Your Wallet

  • 2.5% of the entire workforce in the United States are tipped workers.
  • Most states have a minimum wage above the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour. 36 states still have minimum wages for tipped workers below the federal minimum wage.
  • Cash tips are often unreported. Credit card tips are reported.
  • Former President Trump, Kamala Harris, and President Biden have endorsed the “no tax on tips” idea.

Currently, tax tips are supposed to be reported but often go unreported, so this proposed policy wouldn’t change anything for many tipped employees. However, personally, it can be hard to accept that people in non-tipped positions are taxed on all income, whereas some tipped employees do not report cash tips and can therefore bring home more income than those in non-tipped positions.

Criticisms by tax experts:

Tax advantage would only go to a sliver of the already small, tipped worker population because 1/3 of the workers don’t earn enough to owe federal income taxes anyway

By not taxing tips, employees lose access to other taxed benefits – payroll tax to fund Social Security and Medicare – Earned Income Tax Credit and Childcare Tax Credit

Could fuel resentment among other workers and consumers. Tipping backlash/tipping fatigue – unfair – may tip less than they already do as a result.

Other proposed solutions: eliminating the sub-minimum wage and raising the minimum wage and expanding income supports (Child Tax Credit, Earned Tax Credit, and Medicaid)

I enjoyed this post from Seth’s Blog this week:

The steep part of the mountain

“The steep part of the mountain

The end of the trail is usually difficult, but without the long and winding approach, there isn’t much of a mountain.

The greatest hits reel and the stunning photographs leave out most of the hard work.

There’s a lot to be said for showing up, one foot in front of the other. In fact, those are the only people who make it to the steep part in the first place.”

I can definitely relate to this. While I was away, my husband and I went hiking at Sequoia, Kings Canyon, and Yosemite National Parks. We went on strenuous hikes, and at times, I thought I didn’t have it in me to make it to the top. However, turning around and going back seemed like more of a challenge because we had a different (easier) route planned on the way back (once we reached the top). In my photos, I appear happy and content. What you don’t see are the many challenges and doubts I encountered to make it there. Sample photo:

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – August 1, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Optimal Living Daily – How to Find Meaning in Life: 7 Steps to a More Fulfilling Existence
  • Define what it is that you want in life. What are your goals and aspirations? What brings you happiness and fulfillment? Be clear about what you want.
  • Connect with others and build meaningful relationships. When you have close relationships with other people, they can provide a sense of connection and purpose. Get involved in activities that bring you together with other people, such as clubs, groups, or social events.
  • Find your passion and do what you love every day. What are you interested in and what do you love doing? When you’re passionate about something, it brings a sense of joy and excitement into your life. You’ll be more motivated to pursue these interests, and you’ll feel more fulfilled when you’re doing them. Explore different activities and interests and see which ones make you feel the most alive.
  • Serve others and make a difference in the world. Helping others can give your life purpose and meaning. You’ll feel more connected to something larger than yourself, and you’ll have a sense of satisfaction from knowing that you’re making a positive impact in the world.
  • Live in the present moment and appreciate the here and now. When you’re constantly living in the past or future, you miss out on all the beauty that exists in the present.
  • Be accepting of change and understand that things will not always go according to plan. When you’re constantly expecting things to stay the same, it can lead to disappointment and frustration. When you accept change and understand that it’s a normal part of life, you’ll be more prepared for when things don’t go as expected.
  • Be your most authentic self. When you’re being genuine and true to yourself, it helps you connect more with others and build meaningful relationships. It allows you to live a more fulfilling life since you’re not pretending to be someone that you’re not.
The Jordan Harbinger Show – Sovereign Citizens – Skeptical Sunday
  • Sovereign citizens are people who don’t acknowledge the legitimacy of the United States government – don’t pay taxes, don’t have IDs, don’t register their cars, or acknowledge zip codes
  • They don’t believe the police or the courts have jurisdiction over them. They are not subject to the laws of the United States of America.
  • They represent themselves in legal matters and use pseudo legalese.
  • The roots of the movement grew out of White Nationalism. The modern sovereign citizen movement has an African American branch, the Moorish Sovereign Citizens.
  • Some sovereign citizens believe there are two classes of citizens within the United States: sovereign (original) citizens and federal (U.S.) citizens. Sovereign citizens have all of the rights of the Constitution but federal citizens don’t. Federal citizens voluntarily surrendered their freedom in exchange for benefits from the U.S. Government. Sovereign citizens renounce federal citizenship and reclaim the rights as common law citizens.
  • Sovereign citizen arguments have no basis in law and have never been successful in court.
  • Sovereign citizens believe that you are not the person on your birth certificate. The birth certificate is its own entity. A birth certificate is ALL CAPS, a separate entity. They insist that the corporation that is the U.S. Government uses citizens as collateral to the Federal Reserve.
  • Sovereign citizens believe that as long as they don’t travel for commerce or cross state lines, they don’t need a license or registration. They will paint private use on their vehicles and issue themselves license plates.
  • Gurus sell sovereign citizen ideology. They appeal to desperate people, such as people in foreclosure or debt.
  • Gurus sell diplomatic immunity cards. If they create their own country and issue themselves cards that say diplomatic immunity, they believe they will have diplomatic immunity. Gurus also sell how-to books and membership cards. They are really just selling hope.
  • They believe that not only are you out of debt because your birth certificate is the one who owes the debt, not you, but that there is a bunch of money waiting for you somewhere. The corporations masquerading as our country owe you money.
  • Straw man account is the bank account attached to the corporate entity on your birth certificate (ALL CAPS) and this bank account is overflowing with cash – known as redemption. According to the sovereigns, the government set up secret bank accounts in our birth certificate names. They believe that with the magic words and forms, you can access it.
  • In 2016, the IRS discovered a sovereign citizen straw man scheme but only after issuing more than $43 million to sneaky sovereigns.
  • Bond process – by submitting the right set of papers, sovereign citizens believe they can wipe out their mortgage, tax bills, and student loans. Many people find themselves in the sovereign citizen movement through financial desperation.
  • There are between 200,000-300,000 people who consider themselves sovereign citizens.
  • The courts often reject sovereign citizen arguments without much explanation. No sovereign citizen has ever successfully argued their points in a court of law.
The Personal Finance Podcast – How Much Should You Spend on a Family Vacation?

This episode really surprised me. It suggested that people should aim to spend 5-10% of their net income on vacations (without going into debt). I definitely spend much less than that and instead have prioritized saving for retirement and short-term needs. I am curious to hear your thoughts about this!

  • You should never go into debt for a vacation.
  • Know your NET monthly income and monthly expenses. Know how much debt you have.
  • Have your emergency fund fully funded. 3-6 months of expenses
  • Be on track to hit your retirement goals. Investing your dollars is the only way to prepare for retirement.
  • Look at your short-term goals. Prioritize those goals.
  • Calculate your disposable income. Determine if there are any savings earmarked for vacation. Put savings in a high-yield savings account.
  • Automate savings using discretionary income – example: 5-10%
  • Once you build wealth, you may be able to spend 20-30% of your income on vacations.
  • By income:
    • $40k: 5% of net income – $2k per year on vacations/ 10%: $4k per year on vacations (will need to travel hack)
    • $60k net: 5%: $3k per year on vacations/ 10%: $6k per year on vacations (travel hack or side hustle)
    • $80k net: 5%: $4k per year/ 10%: $8k per year on vacations
    • $100k net: 5%: $5k per year/ 10%: $10k per year on vacations
  • Look for ways to increase your salary, get a side hustle, or learn to travel hack.

This post from Gabe the Bass Player stood out to me this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/chances-to-connect


Chances To Connect

July 31, 2024

“If you are looking for chances to connect you will find them all over the place.

You’ll probably have to go first. It might be a little weird. It will be scary. You might not get the response you’re hoping for. You might over share. You might ask the wrong question. Your effort might not get reciprocated.

But it beats the alternative…

If you’re not looking for chances to connect, the depth of your relationships and your relational maturity are at the mercy of others’ initiative…and your indifference.“

This was a great post from Seth’s Blog this week:

“It seems…”

“It seems…”

“What a simple verb. A five-letter modifier that opens the door to discussion.

If we state something as a fact, we’re asking for an argument.

But seems opens the door to learning and discussion.

What are you seeing that I’m not seeing?”

Often times we fail to see or consider other perspectives. We state something as fact, argue with others, and put the blame on others. We tell ourselves stories and accept them as truth. We forget that our feelings and thoughts are not facts. One phrase I’ve learned in therapy is “The story I tell myself is…” This phrase has been really helpful. Rather than put blame on others, verbally attack others, or believe my thoughts are truth, I put my thoughts out there with that phrase – and I have noticed that sometimes my perspective was wrong. I assumed incorrect intentions, didn’t have all of the context, etc. What story are you telling yourself?

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – July 25, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – 10 Mental Health Improvement Strategies Therapists Prescribe Their Patients
  • Act contrary to how you feel. Explore the behaviors that reinforce that emotional state and act the opposite. Ex: depression may want you to stay in bed all day, but getting up and moving is the best thing. Change your behaviors first, and the feelings will often follow.
  • Challenge your negative thoughts. Intense emotions cause irrational thoughts. Challenge your thoughts and prove that you can do something. Prove that your thoughts aren’t always accurate.
  • Add structure to your day. Be intentional about building in healthy tasks and having structure outside of work, but also allow room for flexibility.
  • Schedule fun, meaningful things to do. Having something to look forward to is really good for your mental health. Schedule one fun or meaningful thing each week.
  • Spend time in nature. Nature has incredible benefits for our mental health; it reduces anxiety, improves concentration, reduces depression, and helps us feel happier overall.
  • Get physical activity. Exercise reduces stress and anxiety and improves self-esteem. Find an activity that you enjoy so that you can stick to it.
  • Find a way to relax. Watching tv and scrolling on your phone stimulates your brain, so aim for ways to relax your brain. If you invest time into caring for your mental health now, you will feel better and perform better later.
  • Work on something that you’ve been putting off. The more you put something off, the more you dread doing it and the worse you feel.
  • Take care of your body. Eat a healthy diet and get adequate sleep.
  • Get social support. The people you spend time with might be the biggest factor that determines how mentally healthy you are. Having positive people in your life reduces the symptoms of mental illness. Remove yourself from toxic relationships.
Sad to Savage – Little Things to Help You Get Out Of A Rut
  • Do a check in and figure out why you’re in a rut. Is your schedule day-to-day not fun? Are you not sleeping enough? Are you nourishing your body with food and water? What are you spending your time doing? Is that keeping you stuck? Are those things helping you or hurting you? What do you need to change?
  • Pick out a goal right now to work towards. Ex: train for a 5k, make a healthy meal 3x/week, build a new habit
  • If you’re someone who really likes to talk on the phone, talk on the phone when you’re outside on a walk. You could start making plans with friends on the weekend to go on a walk. Look up gyms in your area and go to the cheapest one. Go on a treadmill and find a show you will only watch while walking on the treadmill.
  • Redesign a space in your home. Change around the furniture.
  • Find a book to read. Find a book about something you want to learn more about.
  • Know that you are allowed to change your mind and your habits whenever you want. You can become whoever you want to become.
  • Try a new hobby.  Take a class.
  • Pay attention to the people you have in your life, the environments you have, the music you listen to, the content you consume, the people you follow … all of those things can contribute to you feeling like you are in a rut.
  • Make a list of things that make you feel happy that you can turn to when you’re feeling down. Ex: family time, running, going outside, reading, etc.
Chasing Life – Does Money Buy Happiness?
  • Money CAN buy happiness. Buy experiences (trip, dinner with friends, etc.). Experiences bring more happiness than material possessions. Make spending feel like a treat – hedonic adaptation.
  • Think about how your choices about money impact how you use your time. If it doesn’t have any bearing on how you spend your time, you can probably let go of spending money on that for now.
  • Buying time – if you can, buy your way out of something you dread doing. Ex: mowing lawn, cleaning house, grocery shopping, etc.
  • Another fact mentioned is that people who donate to causes/charities through recurring charges aren’t nearly as happy as people who get involved in person and directly see the impact of their monetary donations.
Self Improvement Daily – “You can have it your way.”

Burger King’s motto “Have it your way” is a welcome reminder that each one of us matters and deserves to be cared for. We don’t need to settle for how things are; we can create a new reality for ourselves.

We can pursue our ambitions with pride. We can change our future if we have the courage to do so. Being selfish in investing in yourself can be one of the most selfless things you can do because it can great the greatest impact on others.

If you’re overstretched at work and compromising your own health, that’s not having it your way. When we enforce better boundaries about our work hours, we can have more time to fulfill ourselves in other ways.

If you don’t have as much time for the things and people you love, or the energy to do anything at the end of a long day, that’s not having it your way. When we say no to others, we say yes to ourselves.

Reordering priorities and making a commitment will start to shape your life your way. Balance your personal life, care, and passions in a way that you feel good about by figuring out how it all fits together.

This post from Seth’s blog really resonated with me:

The two bicycle errors

The two bicycle errors

“Momentum activities like public speaking, board sports and leadership all share an attribute with riding a bicycle: It gets easier when you get good at it.

The first error we often make is believing that someone (even us) will never be good at riding a bike, because riding a bike is so difficult. When we’re not good at it, it’s obvious to everyone.

The second error is coming to the conclusion that people who are good at it are talented, born with the ability to do it. They’re not, they have simply earned a skill that translates into momentum.

There’s a difference between, “This person is a terrible public speaker,” and “this person will never be good at public speaking.”

And there’s a difference between, “They are a great leader,” and “they were born to lead.”

The thing about momentum activities is that we notice them only twice: when people are terrible at them, and when they’re good at it. That includes the person you see in the mirror.”

My reflection: we only notice when someone is really good or really bad at something. We don’t see the “average” and we often don’t see the process that it took to get to “good.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – July 11, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Real Simple Tips – Here are 6 Home Upgrades That Are a Waster of Money
  • These features won’t add much value to your home according to real estate agents:
  • Swimming pools – come with a lot of upkeep – can put off potential buyers who aren’t keen on the additional responsibility – also increases price of homeowners insurance
  • Extensive landscaping with exotic plants – can turn off future buyers – need a lot of care
  • Garage conversions – converting a garage into a living space can reduce overall functionality. Instead, find a way to make a room more versatile.
  • Motorized blinds – wildly expensive and don’t give any added design ambiance compared to regular blinds and shades
  • Sink moved to center island – mistake to move the kitchen sink to the island – people want an island free from the clutter of dishes and drying racks
  • Smart home technology systems – convenient, but will likely become obsolete quickly and will need to be updated or replaced
Life Kit – Staying safe in extreme heat
  • Millions of people are experiencing what the National Weather Service is calling the first major heat wave of the summer. The local heat index could reach 105 degrees in some places.
  • When we are exposed to heat, our body has ways to dissipate it and keep us cool, but when we are exposed to certain environments and certain temperatures, sometimes our body just can’t keep up.
  • Keep your body as cool as possible. Stay hydrated with water, avoid alcohol during extreme temperatures, and wear loose-fitting clothing to help lower your body temperature.
  • When dealing with extreme heat, it’s important to find the coolest place possible to be in if you need to be outside. If you are inside, use the air conditioning or go to the coolest place in your house.
  • Stay informed with the heat index. Check weather updates and try to be proactive in protecting yourself against the heat.
  • Know when to seek medical help – heat exhaustion and heat stroke. Symptoms of heat exhaustion can be broad and different for everyone: feeling weak, dizzy, nauseous, vomiting, excessive sweating. With heat stroke, you’re red, hot, and dry and you aren’t able to sweat. Heat stroke is a medical emergency.
The Mel Robbins Podcast – 13 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s
  • The idea that the 20s are the time of your life is bull. It might be one of the hardest decades of your life, so give yourself more grace. You will figure it out.
  • Stop spending your money on stupid stuff. You need to take control of your addiction to buying things. Spending money that you do not have on the things you do not need does not give you power; it makes you feel powerless. Keeping up with the ever-changing trends is not serving you and your happiness.
  • You have so much time. You have plenty of time to figure out your life, your career, your love life, your friend group, etc. Social media is warping your perception about what it takes to be successful. Don’t be triggered by other people’s timelines. Trust the timeline of your life.
  • Date the person, not their potential. Be in a relationship with the person they are right now, not the person you wish they were.
  • It’s not fair. Don’t let yourself play the victim. You can’t change what’s happening around you, and the sooner you accept that, the freer you will feel.
  • Define your career wins not but the quantity of your paycheck but by the quality of your circle. Focus your time and energy on making meaningful connections. People will get you further in your career than any single paying job on your resume ever will. Your connections matter.
  • Be kind. Go above and beyond to make other people feel appreciated and seen.
  • You don’t get to want something if you don’t ask for it.
  • A rock-solid morning routine is the fastest way to take control of your life. You need structure to your day, and how you set the day up is how it ends up. Core 5 practices from Mel: get up when the alarm rings, get outside and get five minutes of sunlight, take a walk without listening to music or a podcast, drink a glass of water, and have some kind of mindfulness practice such as journaling
  • Get serious about who you are hanging out with. What are their habits? Are the five people you are spending the most time driven? Do they have goals? How do they treat you? How do they make you feel? Can you actually open up and be yourself with them? Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.
  • Be your own person. Stop pretending to like things that you don’t. Live authentically. Learn to make your own choices. The fastest way to figure out what you like and who you are as a person is by doing things by yourself because then you don’t have the pressure of managing the person with you and whether or not they like the thing that you are doing. Explore your interests alone.
  • You are not in competition with anyone. Success, happiness, and friendship are in a limitless supply.
  • Take the biggest risks of your life right now. You have time.

I really enjoyed this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/charging-for-the-chapel

Charging For The Chapel

July 9, 2024

Would Michelangelo have painted the Sistine Chapel if he hadn’t been commissioned by the church, being paid along the way?

Probably not.

It’s ok for you to charge (lots of) money for the thing you’re good at too.

The paradox of lessons

This post from Seth’s blog emphasized the power of learning:

“The paradox of lessons

The people most likely to sign up for coaching or additional learning are the folks who are already good at their craft.

“I’m terrible at this,” can lead to, “and I don’t want to be reminded of it.” Or perhaps, “I don’t want to waste their time,” or, “I’m never going to get better.”

When it’s possible to get better, embracing mediocrity isn’t a useful strategy.

I’d rather have a surgeon who regularly attends trainings, wouldn’t you?

Read a book, find a coach, organize a group. If you’re serious about getting better, you’ll improve.

Learning creates more competence but first, it amplifies our feelings of incompetence.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – May 23, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast – 7 Steps to Increase & Boost Your Metabolism

Your metabolism determines how many calories you burn. Here are some tips to boost your metabolism.

  • Allow yourself to go through different phases of the journey.
  • Focus on building high quality muscle.
  • Stay active. Incorporate physical activity into your daily routine.
  • Increase protein intake. Protein requires more energy to digest compared to carbs or fat. Include protein-rich foods such as lean meats, fish, eggs, dairy, legumes, and nuts in your diet.
  • Stay hydrated. Drinking enough water is essential for a healthy metabolism.
  • Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep can disrupt your metabolism and lead to weight gain.
  • Manage stress. Chronic stress can lead to hormonal imbalances that can slow down your metabolism.
  • Remember that individual metabolism can vary based on factors such as age, genetics, and body composition. Focus on overall health and well-being rather than solely on boosting metabolism for weight loss.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty – 10 Steps on How To Set Boundaries Without Offending People
  • Often our definition of someone being a good human being is someone who doesn’t have boundaries. Our definition of what it means to be a good human needs to change at the core.
  • Boundaries are about what we need for ourselves, not what we want or don’t want from others.
  • We think boundaries are protecting us from other people, but boundaries are protecting ourselves from ourselves. We can’t control anyone else’s actions, but we can control our own.
  • Set up “If” scenarios to set boundaries. If this… then this. Clearly communicate your boundaries.
  • You can justify your choice to yourself, but you don’t need to justify your choice to others.
  • How can you be honest, kind, and empathetic to their reaction? It’s okay to recognize that someone else has their own values about your situation. Be open to the idea that not everyone will agree with you.
  • Don’t have an expectation of how you want someone else to respond. Don’t project how you process things onto other people. If someone doesn’t act in the way you would or the way you think they should, remember that they are not you, and you are not them.
  • Become certain about your boundaries.
  • Ask yourself these questions when setting a boundary:
    • What is the boundary protecting for you? Is it time? Why is time important for you? Is it an idea you are trying to practice? A mindset you are trying to build?
    • What happens when you don’t follow that boundary? How would your future self feel about it if you forego the boundary?
    • How do you feel when you follow through on the boundary?
  • Plan a buffer. Someone will catch you off guard and ask for something at a time you don’t expect. It’s okay to ask for time or some space.
  • Observe others do uncomfortable things. Everything you admire in someone else is a skill that can be trained and is a life that you can live.
  • Start exposing yourself to simple actions of discomfort: calling to cancel or reschedule an appointment, declining an invite to a friend’s birthday, etc. Allow the exposures to scale. People will be offended and that’s okay.
  • Reset people’s expectations of you. Set boundaries.
The Big Flop – Beanie Babies Go Bust with Ian Karmel and Brian Moller
  • The Beanie Babies craze was in the 1990s. Each had a name, birthdate, and little story attached to them.
    • I used to collect Beanie Babies and even had a special holder made for them. It resembled a coat rack but had little pieces of elastic to hang them on.
  • 1993 – Beanie Babies debuted at the World Toy Fair in New York City and didn’t really take off
  • Scarcity is what set Beanie Babies apart from other stuffed animals.
    • Beanie Babies were “retired” instead of “discontinued” – made it seem like a collector’s item and gave Beanie Babies a feeling of scarcity
    • Not sold in popular retailers like Walmart or Toys R US – favored small independent stores and gift shops
      • The stores that sold them could only offer some of the Beanie Babies, so nobody could get the collection in one place. When people spotted them, they weren’t sure if they would see those Beanie Babies again, so they bought them.
  •  1995 – website was created where you could buy the Beanie Babies and get extra intel, such as an online catalog with more information about the Beanie Babies, upcoming release dates, etc. Some sources cite this as the first business-to-consumer sales site on the internet! Demand is so high around the holidays that Ty, Inc. imported 3 737s full of Beanie Babies from Korea.
  • 1995 – $28million in sales that year
  • Some were sold on Ebay for over $30,000!
  • By 1997, the craze was huge! Newsletters, pricing guides, and fan trivia bubbled up across America.
  • In May of 1997, Beanie collectors spent $500 million on Ebay auctions for Beanie Babies in one month!
  • In October 1997, Ty, Inc. announced they would release a commemorative purple Beanie bear called Princess in honor of the recently deceased Princess Diana. The proceeds would go to Princess Diana’s foundation and were supposed to be sold for $7. Some retailers gouged customers and charged anywhere from $25 to $350 for Princess. Many people were convinced this bear would be worth a fortune someday.
  • A McDonalds employee stole $6k in teenie-Beanies and went to prison and a store clerk in LA was robbed at gunpoint for 40 Beanie Bears.
  • By 1998, 65% of American homes had at least one Beanie Baby. Ty, Inc’s sales were more than $1.4 billion.
  • 1998 – Forbes left Warner off of the Wealthiest Americans to Make Lots of Money list, so he bought a full-page ad in the WSJ to let everyone know that Ty, Inc. made more than $700 million the previous year – more than Hasbro and Mattel combined. In 1999, Forbes listed Warner with an estimated net worth of $4billion.
  • Yet, Lina, the creator of the website and the poems on the tags made $12.50 per hour! She asked for a raise, was denied, and she quit.
  • 3 months before the Christmas shopping season in 1999, Warner announced that all Beanie Babies would be retired on December 31, 1999. It was another marketing stunt to drive up interest and demand. On Christmas Eve, Warner created a poll asking fans to make the decision on whether Beanie Babies would live or die and, in the ultimate money-grabbing move, made people pay money to vote! People aren’t going to pay to vote no.
  • The crazy had clearly passed, which was terrible news for people who had invested heavily in Beanie Babies.
  • By 2002, Warner was worth $6 billion. In 2009, Ty, Inc. attempted to recapture the magic by releasing Beanie Boos – fluffier Beanie Babies with bigger eyes. Nobody wanted to buy them like they did the original Beanies.
  • In 2014, Warner pled guilty to tax evasion and hiding over $20 million from the government due to having a hidden foreign bank account.
  • Ty, Inc. still exists. Ty Inc HQ doesn’t have a sign out front. Ty.com recently announced its line of 30th anniversary commemorative Beanies that look like the originals. You can’t buy them on the website but they will be available at select retailers.

I enjoyed this blog post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/taking-a-shot-on-you

Taking Shot On You

May 16, 2024

“If you’ve had any success there’s probably been a few people who took a shot on you early on…and probably along the way.

And now that you’ve had that success, what would it look like for you to take a shot on someone else?“

I also liked this blog post from Seth’s Blog this week:

The unwarranted smile

The unwarranted smile

“When we do something nice for someone, a ‘thank you’ and a smile is nice to receive. And, in many parts of human culture, it’s a bit expected.

But when something goes wrong, if we drop a plate or miss a turn or make someone late, it’s particularly delightful and memorable if we are greeted warmly instead of stomped on.

The moments when it’s the most difficult to be kind are the moments where it matters the most.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – April 11, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Optimal Finance Daily – 10 Money Questions Every Couple Must Answer

Note that these questions are for couples in serious long-term relationships. You and your partner may not agree on everything. It’s more important to work through conflicts and come to an understanding.

  1. What is your policy on loaning money to relatives? Are you supporting/do you plan to support any family members?
  2. How much money have you saved?
  3. How much debt do you have?
  4. Are you comfortable investing or do you prefer to keep your money in the bank?
  5. Are you a saver or spender?
  6. How do you feel about merging finances once we’re married? This question has a lot to do with the question about how much your partner has saved. If you’re the only saver, you may not want to merge finances.
  7. Do you have a budget…and can I see it?
  8. Will you support me if I choose not to work?
  9. What type of bill payer are you? Minimum payments/full bill upfront? Automatic bill pay/send via mail? Do you pay all bills on time?
  10. What is your dream, and how do you plan on paying for it?

I thought this podcast was very interesting and I wish I had known about these questions sooner. For full transparency, I did not/have not asked all of these questions, but I think it’s a great idea!

The Liz Moody Podcast – 10 Learnings From My Week At The Life-Changing Hoffman Process Personal Growth Retreat
  • When you are saying how you feel, use “I” instead of “you.” This helps the emotion and experience feel more personal.
  • If you are struggling to change, start with any action. Action is required for change. You can act yourself into a new way of thinking, but you can’t think yourself into a new way of action.
  • We are all human and we are all going through challenges, so stop judging other people. By judging others, you are paving those pathways in your brain that are primed for judgment, and you are priming yourself to judge yourself. When you notice you’re telling yourself a story about someone else in your head, talk to them and find out more about them.
  • Clarity is kind. Don’t beat around the bush.
  • In order to heal, we need to turn out instead of in. Involve other people instead of keeping to yourself. The power of community is vital to healing. You are not a burden. Reach out to people. Relationship bonds heal relationship wounds.
  • Fun is a key part of healing. Access connection, joy, and love. Healing doesn’t always need to be hard and not fun. You can enjoy the process of becoming the person that you want to be. You will get better results if the healing process is enjoyable, too.
  • Everything we see in others is typically also in us – “You spot it, you’ve got it.” In other people, we notice the things that we are most sensitive about or don’t like about ourselves as much. The traits we find most triggering in other people are usually things we are dealing with internally and things we are reacting to negatively within ourselves. When we notice positive attributes in other people, often those are positive traits we notice and value about ourselves.
  • Don’t forgive and forget. That sets you up for future hurt. Forgive and remember because holding on to it only hurts you. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies. The only person made prisoner by our resentment is ourselves.
  • When you impress people into liking you, it makes you feel inherently unlovable. It can make you feel that without those things, you wouldn’t be lovable or likable to people. If people only like you because of your status/your job, you may feel unlovable without your job. When we give people an arbitrary sense of status (ex: celebrities), we’re actually depriving them of their ability to be human and to feel lovable for who they authentically are.
    • When we don’t share what we do for work, the ways you identify your relationships with people are built on who you really are on the inside. You’re forced to present a raw version of yourself, and people will love you for you. You have worth outside of your job and the work that you do.
  • Be, do, have. How do you want to feel? How do you want to live? Let that influence what you do in the world and the choices you make. Those choices, as a result of the being and doing, will create the things that you have. You’ll have a different relationship with those things because you won’t need those things to be happy.
    • Be, do, have instead of do, have, be.

  • How do we help people who are different from one another experience a sense of belonging and support in the workplace?
    • Acknowledge that we all have some privilege. Ex: access to hot water, drinking water, etc. Being aware of our privilege helps us to see where we have access and ease, and access and ease give us power. What about me or my experience might someone look at and consider to be typical?
    • We need to be willing to recognize the differences in people and want to get to know them across those differences. Let me learn about your experiences so that I can develop empathy for you and gain perspective I wouldn’t otherwise have. Hear their stories, gain empathy, and broaden your view. Ex: interviews – how often do we dismiss candidates because we didn’t think they were a culture fit or they didn’t give us the exact example we wanted? What if we used their stories to evaluate where they have an opportunity to thrive and grow? Hear their circumstances and experiences.
    • Extend your privilege to others respectfully and impactfully in the ways you are able to.
    • Allyship can involve considering food allergies, accepting correction when you mispronounce someone’s name, left-handed scissors, etc. What do you have the ability to do to support others?

I really liked this blog post from Seth’s Blog this week:

Analyzing the last move

Analyzing the last move

“When the deal falls apart, or the team loses the game, or a partnership hits the rocks, it’s easy to focus our energy on what just happened.

“What if they had called a different play?”

This overlooks the real issue. It’s the first move, or the fifth, that led to this problem, not what happened at the last moment.

Creating the conditions for success is a very different project than finding a heroic move that saves the day.“

This post from Gabe the Bass Player also resonated with me this week. Often, we envy the successes, accomplishments, or belongings of others. Yet, we aren’t willing to do what it takes to obtain them.”

What Will You Give Up

April 9, 2024

“One of the hardest parts of getting to where we want to go is giving up the things that make us feel good in the short term…

It’s hard to give up scrolling

It’s hard to give up Netflix

It’s hard to give up scrolling Netflix

It’s hard to give up the peace and quiet that comes from not doing much…or doing the same old things.

It’s hard to give up the notion that people will understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

It’s hard to give up your norms

It’s hard to give up not rocking the boat

It’s hard to give up the security of your hard won reputation

The best way to get to the new place is by starting something new…and giving up something else is a great way to start.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!