My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – You don’t need more time

You probably don’t need more time in order to do the things you want to do. Instead of looking for more time, change up how you’re spending your time now. You may be surprised at what can fit.
Getting an extra day in the year (leap day) does not, by itself, change much for most people. Time is about choices. If you’d like to spend time differently, figure that out and make it happen. Make the most of your time.

I recently read the book “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price, an award-winning writer and science journalist and learned that, on average, Americans spend more than four hours a day on their phones! If you were to limit phone use to one hour a day, what could you accomplish with the extra three hours? Our actions often show what our values are. We often don’t need more time; we need to examine our priorities.

TED Health – Why you shouldn’t trust boredom

Our boredom and how we snap out of it can tell us a lot about ourselves.
Boredom is a problem in schools. When students are bored in school, they can’t focus, they lose interest, and they misbehave. Students who are chronically bored may drop out. When we’re bored, we drink too much, eat too much, spend too much money, half-listen to people, idle our time with social media and scrolling, etc.
Boredom tends to objectify things. Ex: that’s a boring person, that’s a boring book, etc. What bores one person can be very interesting to another person, so boredom is a curious and perplexing mood state and is not objective.

Boredom itself allows creativity to flow. However, modern society with all its gadgets has gotten really good at distracting us from this boredom.

In the right environment, boredom fuels creative people. Instead of staring at your phone, stare at the blank page. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, sit in front of the canvas.

Avoidance – many of us who are in a boring situation question how to get out of the situation. We don’t sit with our feelings; we often check our phones to avoid boredom.
Resignation – endure boredom.
Boredom is often viewed as a lack of imagination and a loss of agency: “I’m so bored. There’s nothing to do.”

As a teacher, the podcaster usually gathered with other teachers to complain about administrators, students, parents, etc. and got bored with it. It was the same complaint culture every day. Eventually, he found other teachers who, instead of complaining, talked about books they were enjoying, hobbies they loved, or what went well in their teaching. These conversations were restorative.

Takeaways:
- Boredom should not be trusted. We tend to trust boredom and make an implicit judgment about something or someone and it is often wrong. It is arrogant.
- We need to protect our attention. A bored mind is looking to be distracted. If we are in an environment where we are easily distracted, boredom will get the better of us.
- We need to talk about boredom. We all have strategies we employ and we need to talk about them. We can share them and give our attention to the things we love and the people we care about.

DIY Money – Where to Hold Your Emergency Fund

Don’t keep an emergency fund at a bank that doesn’t really give you any interest (most big banks don’t).
Look for a bank that will give you over 4% per year in interest. Many online banks and credit card companies offer high-yield savings accounts with great rates.
Keep 3-6 months of expenses in an emergency fund and a separate $1,000 of “fast cash” in an account that you can get immediately. Ex: for a car repair
Interest rates fluctuate, so you don’t need to keep searching for where you will get the highest yield once you already have found one.

Life Kit – Investing for beginners

You need to be invested in the stock market! Stocks have a much better return than bonds and other investments. It isn’t a good idea to buy individual stocks; it’s almost impossible, even for professionals, to pick individual stocks that outperform the overall market. 80-90% of mutual fund managers fail at this!
Don’t buy individual stocks. Buy the entire stock market using index funds.
Don’t buy a bunch of stocks when performance goes up and sell stocks as soon as performance is down. Losing money feels painful but selling your stock at the bottom locks in those losses. If you don’t sell, you can ride the rollercoaster back up when the market recovers.

Make sure you aren’t paying much in fees! Fees are not charged as a separate line item. For example, 2% seems like a small number to pay in fees, but 2% off of a 5-10% return is a huge chunk. A 2% fee could eat up to 40% of your investment returns, which has a huge impact on how quickly your money accumulates. Many people don’t even know what fees they are paying.
Taken together, you shouldn’t be paying more than 0.15% in annual fees in your mix of index funds and other investments.

Passively managed index funds are the way to go. Ex: S&P 500. Index funds are far better off than actively managed alternatives. Look for lw-cost broad based index funds.
Vanguard is different than all of the other investment firms because it is structured as a nonprofit. Vanguard offers a range of index funds with very low fees. You don’t need to have an actively managed portfolio.
Rebalance your investments at least once a year. Sell what has gone up in value and buy what has gone down in value. Make sure your portfolio is where you want it to be.

Obsessing doesn’t help and is likely to lead to interventions that would be counterproductive. It’s really easy to let our emotions take over and make mistakes.
Don’t pay someone else to pick stocks for you.

Psych2Go – 12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship

You communicate openly. A great relationship starts with transparency.
You argue. Arguing is sometimes healthy in a relationship; otherwise, you are likely bottling up your feelings and letting them turn into resentment.
You keep relationship details private. You don’t post your relationship problems on social media.
You don’t hold grudges. Be sure to talk it out and learn to let go.
You have realistic expectations. The perfect partner doesn’t exist. Healthy couples understand that the key to a long-lasting relationship is commitment, open communication, and compromise.
You take time and space for yourself. You can have separate lives, interests, and friends and maintain your own sense of individuality outside of the relationship.
You trust each other. You respect your partner’s decisions and feel secure.
You enjoy spending time together. A healthy relationship means taking time out of your busy schedule to connect with your partner.
You’re friends. Great couples share common interests, enjoy hanging out together, and making each other laugh.
You make decisions together. Healthy relationships allow partners to have equal say. Compromise is key.
You get intimate. Intimacy can mean different things. Show affection through love languages: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, etc.
You make each other better. Fixing is not the same as supporting. You love each other for who you are.

I really enjoyed this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/out-of-gas

Out Of Gas

March 5, 2024

When the car runs out of gas we don’t call the car broken. It just needs gas.

Same thing with us…when we’re out of gas we might feel broken but really we just need to be filled up.

The metaphor is easy to understand.

The hard part is knowing what fills you up and having the guts to make time for it.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts

February 2024 Reads

March 4, 2024 amybenoit

I read four books in February 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to being busy with a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in February 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Her Honor: My Life on the Bench … What Works, What’s Broken, and How to Change It” was written by LaDoris H. Cordell, a legal commentator and police-reform advocate who is a frequent guest on news outlets and served as the first African American woman jurist in Northern California. This book was very comprehensive and educational, and I learned SO much!

This review sums up my interpretation perfectly:

A brave, profound, and affecting book that combines wisdom, candor, wit, and humanity in equal measure, Her Honor is a sterling embodiment of the meaning of judicial independence that should be required reading for law students and anyone interested in our system of justice.
Kathleen M. Sullivan, former dean of Stanford Law School

Here are five random facts I learned reading this book:

The Multi Ethnic Placement Act (MEPA) requires the states to diligently recruit foster and adoptive parents who reflect the race or ethnicity of those children needing foster care and adoptive homes.
The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) requires the Native Child’s Tribe to be notified as soon as any proceedings concerning the child’s welfare are filed in court, and the Tribe has the right to be present at proceedings.
Seven states do not require any legal grounds to recall a judge. All that is needed is to collect the required number of signatures of registered voters to place the recall on the ballot. Federal judges cannot be recalled, no matter how controversial their decisions are.
The general rule is that judges cannot publicly comment about pending cases. It is no small irony that an accused murderer can speak out in his defense, but the judge who presides over that case cannot.
Today, defendants accept plea bargains and plead guilty in nearly 98% of criminal cases in federal and state courts.

“Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital” was written by Elise Hu, a correspondent at host-at-large for NPR and the host of TED Talks Daily, the daily podcast from TED that’s downloaded a million times a day. Elise was the NPR bureau chief responsible for coverage of North Korea, South Korea, and Japan for nearly four years.

This review sums up my thoughts of this book:

Superbly researched and deeply insightful, Flawless is a timely, provocative, and fascinating must-read. Elise Hu masterfully blends an engrossing memoir about her experience as a foreigner, woman, and mother of girls in Seoul with a journalistic exploration of the disturbing forces behind K-beauty’s global rise.
Angie Kim

Here are three surprising take-aways from the book:

At high school graduation time in South Korea, students are commonly given cosmetic surgery gift certificates by their parents and grandparents, and dermatology and plastic surgery apps offer 50-70% discounts to recent high school grads for a three-pack of the most popular procedures for young Koreans: eyelid surgery, nose jobs, and Botox for facial contouring of the jawline.
Olive Young, like Sephora, is a one-stop shop for Korean skincare and cosmetics. In 2020, there were 1,259 Oliver Young stores in South Korea, roughly twice the number of Sephoras in the United States. Accounting for the population differences between the two countries, that means Koreans are roughly 6x more likely to encounter an Olive Young than an American is to encounter its equivalent!
South Korea leads the world in cosmetic procedures relative to its population.

“I’ll Fly Away” is a book of poems that paints an intimate portrait of Black life in America, written by Rudy Francisco, one of the most recognizable names in Spoken Word Poetry. Rudy is an Individual World Poetry Slam Champion and a National Poetry Slam Champion. He is my favorite slam poet.

Here are some of my favorite anecdotes from the poems:

“Sometimes I’m the mess. Sometimes I’m the broom – on my hardest days, I have to be both.”

“Have you ever noticed how much water hates to argue? How it molds itself into the shape of a pour, makes a home where it lands, but also never gives up its identity. As if to say, ‘Sure, I’ll stay but only if I can be myself.’ I think there is a lesson here.”

“The Peace Lily is a flower that can grow and survive even if it’s left in the shade. See? We don’t always choose our environment, but we can’t let that stop us from blooming.”

“There are people that you don’t know, who dislike you for things you never did. There are people who start wars but hide the declaration under their breath for years. They see you coming, stare from a safe distance, and launch a fleet of ships using only a glance.”

“How to Break Up With Your Phone” was an eye-opening book written by Catherine Price. Part of this book covered the negative impacts of phone usage and addiction, and the second part of this book covered a detailed 30-day plan to break the cycle of addiction to your phone. Although I have not yet done the 30-day plan, I learned a lot from this book and will implement some of the 30-day challenge tips.

The biggest tips from this book are to reframe the way you think about your phone. Every moment you spend on your phone is time you’re not spending doing other pleasurable things, whether that’s in-person relationships, practicing a hobby, reading a book, etc.

Ask yourself what you want to pay attention to. Our lives are what we pay attention to. Every time you reach for your phone, consider asking yourself: What for? What else? Why now?

Set yourself up for success. If you spend too much time on social media apps, uninstall them from your phone and make yourself use a computer to check social media. Disable notifications from apps and e-mail to prevent distractions. Establish rules about phone usage. Ex: no phones at the dinner table, no phone within an hour of waking up or going to bed, no phones while riding in an elevator, no phones on a daily walk, etc.

I really enjoyed all four of these books and will post about some of them in more detail on my blog sometime!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 29, 2024

February 29, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – Read a short book

If you are out of the habit of reading or feeling tired in general, read a short book. It can be just the thing to get you going.
Look for a short book to distract your mind from social media, boredom, sadness, etc.

I have been so busy and stressed with schoolwork this month and took nearly all month to read two books for fun. I decided to read a short book of poems as my third book to give myself a mental break, and I have ended the month reading four books. I think reading the short book gave me a mental break and momentum to read more.

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – This Therapy Strategy Will Help You Become the Person You Want to Be

Behave like the person you want to become.
If you change your behavior first, the feelings will follow. Changing your behavior can also change your thoughts because you train your brain to see yourself differently.
Want to feel happier? Ask if you are happy right now. Want to be more confident? Act as if you feel confident.

If you are battling depression, ask yourself what you might be doing differently today if you felt a bit better. Depression causes us to do things that reinforces depression, such as staying in bed. Anxiety causes us to avoid things that will ultimately help us solve a problem.
We do the things that reinforce how we are feeling. So when you feel angry, you’re more tempted to complain. When you feel anxious, you might pace back and forth and think about all of the things causing you to feel anxious.

Act as if you feel confident to help you feel confident. Pursue classes/learning/education to feel more confident about a topic. Confidence comes from facing your fears.
Act “as if.” When you feel low on energy, act as if you have energy. When you’re struggling with fear, act as if you feel brave. If you want to change your life, act like a mentally strong person. If you want more friends, act like a friendly person. Acting “as if” doesn’t mean you’re acting as a fake person; it just means you’re putting a certain aspect of your personality forward.

What kind of person do I want to be? What are some steps I could take right now to start acting more like that kind of person? How would it change my life?
How would I be acting right now if I felt better? Changing your behavior first shifts your emotions.

The Mel Robbins Podcast – 4 Easy Nighttime Habits to Feel Energized & Sleep Better

Pick your bedtime. What time do you need to be asleep if you wanted to get eight hours of sleep every night? In order to pick a bedtime, you need to know what time you truly need to wake up. Know how long your morning routine takes! Have a plan. What time do you really need to wake up in order to truly start your day on the right foot and do all the things you want/need to do in the morning?
The time you need to wake up is probably a half hour or hour earlier than you have been waking up. If you aren’t honest with yourself about what time you need to get up to give yourself the runway of time that you need, then before you have laid your head on the pillow tonight, you have already screwed up your morning routine.

Start by picking the time you need to wake up – the time you need to give yourself the runway, the time that would really allow you to do everything that you would like to do, and plan for eight hours of sleep to establish your bedtime. You need to be asleep for eight hours, so figure out how long it takes you to fall asleep and decide what time you need to get into bed to get eight hours of sleep!
If you don’t pick the right time to climb into bed, you will never actually be able to build a rock solid evening routine. Understanding what it takes to fall asleep and giving yourself that amount of time and building an evening routine that leads up to it is essential. Having a consistent bedtime and wakeup time will help you get better sleep and help you fall asleep faster. You will train your brain to be a better sleeper.

Clean up the mess so your morning is fresh. Empty the dishwasher/do the dishes, take out the trash if needed, clean up the counters, turn off the lights, clean up the things from today, and charge your phone/computer.

Once you’ve cleaned up the mess, take five minutes and set yourself up for the morning. If you’re going to exercise in the morning, lay out your clothes the night before. If you take supplements or vitamins in the morning, set them out the night before. If you’re bringing lunch to work, portion out your lunch. This eliminates decision fatigue and your morning routine will take less time.
Take five minutes for yourself. Before you give it to the television, social media, etc., give time to yourself. You can sit and be quiet, read a book, have a cup of tea, or do a skincare routine.

Tuck your phone in somewhere other than your bedside table or in your bed with you. It creates fragmented sleep, which impacts your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. You are more likely to stay up later in bed on your phone if it is near you.
Be intentional. Pick your bedtime and be very serious about it. Experiment with it until you settle into a consistent bedtime and give yourself a runway for your morning routine.

I am still struggling with setting a consistent evening routine/bedtime and morning routine. I know what I want to accomplish each morning, but often end up snoozing or sleeping through alarms. This is something I am working on! This podcast was a great reminder.

Inside Out Money – Smash or Pass? Common Financial Rules

This podcast covered common financial rules and whether the podcasters agree or disagree with them. Here are some of the insights.

Recommended:

Hold 3-6 months of expenses in cash in an emergency fund. Some people recommend 6-12 months of expenses in a high-yield savings account.

Save and invest at least 15-20% of your income in a high-yield savings account or in stocks/bonds.
24/10 rule for buying a vehicle. Put down at least 20%, limit the car loan to no more than 4 years to avoid excessive interest, and spend no more than 10% of your gross income on transportation costs (car payment, gas, insurance, maintenance). If you have to drag out your car loan longer than four years to be able to afford it, you probably can’t afford it. The loan may be longer than the life of the car to you.
Only buy a used car to minimize the depreciation. Caveat: Only buy a new car if you can afford to buy it outright (no financing).

Common financial rules the podcasters do not recommend following and why:

Some people say your asset allocation of your investments should be 100 minus your age to determine the percentage of your portfolio that should be in stocks versus bonds. For a 40-year-old: 100 – 40 = 60% in stocks, 40% in bonds. Reasoning: That seems too high for a percentage of bonds and is not risky enough for long-term gains.
50/30/20 rule for budgeting after taxes= 50% necessities, 30% for “wants”, 20% for financial goals (saving for retirement and paying off debt). Reasoning: It depends on your income. Sometimes housing and bills take up more than 50%. Try to save 20% minimum.

Gross monthly income (before taxes) – debt for housing shouldn’t be more than 28%. Debt-to-income ratio – no more than 36% of your total income should be going toward debts (car payments, credit card debt, student loans, etc.) Reasoning: 36% seems too high for debts.
Spend 3x your income on a house. Reasoning: It is overly simplistic and doesn’t take many factors into account. It depends on what interest rates are, how much debt you have, what the cost of living is, how much you’re putting down, etc.
Always put 20% down. Reasoning: That would limit many people from buying a house. If your interest rate is lower than a high-yield savings rate or lower than your investment returns, no need to put down 20%.

Cars should cost 10% of your annual income. So, if you make $50k, your car should be worth no more than $5,000. Reasoning: You wouldn’t be able to buy much of a car in that price range.
You should own a car for at least 10 years. It’s a solid rule. Reasoning: It isn’t advantageous to keep buying cars, but it may not work for everyone. Your needs may change.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 22, 2024

February 22, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast – 4 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Unrealistic Body Standards

Many women have an unrealistic standard for their body in the timeframe they want to achieve it. We aren’t aware of the timeframe it takes to get to that standard. Also, many people don’t want to give up the lifestyle they want to live to achieve that standard.
The standards we are holding our bodies to are incredibly toxic.

Are your standards too high? Are you wanting to see shredded abs, toned arms, and perfect legs? If so, why? Why do you want these things? What about these things will make you happier or better? You are enough the way you are.
Are you holding yourself to someone else’s standard? Your friend’s goals don’t need to be your goals. Your friend’s insecurities don’t need to be your insecurities. Hold yourself to your own standard. Holding yourself to someone else’s standard takes you away from your own goals.

Do you hold yourself to an unattainable standard? Many bodies photos and videos are edited and airbrushed and filtered, so you shouldn’t look at their bodies as a goal that is attainable. The workouts that influencers are posting about are often not the workouts they are doing to get the body they have. People wouldn’t watch the videos of their actual workouts because they aren’t as fun to watch or they wouldn’t want to watch all of them.

Are you holding yourself to an old standard of yourself? Ex: you think you need to be the same size or weight as you were at a certain point in your life. Your life can be drastically different now compared to then. It probably wouldn’t be good for you to get back to that place. As we age, our bodies should change. As we have children, our bodies are different, and that’s a good thing. Are you holding yourself to an old standard? Do you really want to go back to the mentality that came with that standard, or should you accept that you can have a healthier, better body with a better mindset?

Your body can change and you can actually be healthier, stronger, and more confident. You can feel better than you did before.

Talks at Google – Jason Derulo – Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream

This podcast covered tidbits from Jason Derulo’s book, “Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream.”

Jason Derulo reads the comments on his videos on social media and finds way to constructively apply them. Jason looks for any way to be better by choosing to pick apart comments and choosing what to change.
Even though Jason Derulo has gone independent and was able to get a platinum record as an independent artist, he still sees the value in having a team. Independent artists are not typically the most successful artists out there, although there are anomalies.

Jason wants readers to know that there’s so much joy within the journey. When people talk about hard work, they make it sound like a bad thing, but those struggles can be some of the best memories to look back on. Looking back at where you started and where you’ve come can be satisfying. Find something you are passionate about and find happiness within chasing that particular outcome. Just because it’s hard work doesn’t mean it’s not fun.
People love stories of someone rising. It’s never too late to change your path. Some people on TikTok are old and very popular.

Life Kit – How to be a ‘supercommunicator’

This podcast was based on the book “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg.
When we really connect with someone in conversation, it’s reflected in our bodies and our brains. Eye pupils start to dilate at the same rate, breath patterns start to match each other, heart rates start to match each other, and brain waves start to look like each other.

Communication is connection. In order to really connect, aim to have a learning conversation. Aim to learn about other perspectives in a conversation. Practice looping for understanding. Ask someone a question, listen to what they say, repeat back in your own words what you heard them say, and ask them if you got it right. Usually, the other person doesn’t know if we are listening or if we are just waiting for our turn to speak. By taking these steps, you will both trust each other more.
Matching isn’t as simple as mimicking someone’s body language.

Every discussion is made up of multiple different kinds of conversations: practical (solving problems or making plans), emotional (sharing how you are feeling and wanting them to empathize or listen, not solve a problem), and social (how we see each other in the context of society). Understand what kind of conversation you are having with someone and try to match.
Ask deep questions – questions about values, beliefs, or experiences. Their answers will tell you what type of conversation to have with them (practical, emotional, or social).

Prepare for conversations. Write down three topics you think you could discuss with strangers. Oftentimes, those topics won’t come up, but you can increase your confidence by being aware of them.
Almost any question that asks “why?” helps people open up. We are inviting the other person to explain who they are.
Be authentic. Supercommunicators tend to ask more questions, laugh more, and be authentic. If you say something that indicates you are struggling with something, they authentically listen to you and might share about themselves or ask questions about that.

Self Improvement Daily – “Be here now.”

“In a world that is busier, more distracting, and trying to hijack our attention more than ever, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be present. Rather than having a moment to ourselves waiting in a line, we compulsively check our emails. Rather than focusing on preparing our meal, we have a podcast or Youtube video on in the background.

But if we’re being honest, does constantly seeking stimulation and splitting our attention actually offer the quality we want in our lives?

There’s so much more dimension to the present moment than we allow ourselves to see. When we choose to be present, to be here now (and not off doing something else or with other thoughts in the back of our minds), we allow the moment to deliver everything it has to offer.”

This is something I am constantly working on. Some of my best moments of connection in friendships have been when we are without our phones or other distractions – when we forget about the time and all of the other things that could be competing for our attention. These moments are so rare in today’s society.

Take a moment to immerse yourself in the here and now and be present with what’s happening around you, or else you might be missing something magical.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 15, 2024

February 15, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – Ask for the slideshow

When someone is happily telling you about something in their life, ask them to show you photos. They will be thrilled to do so, and you will learn more about them.
Ex: wedding, puppy, gardening, home renovations, vacation, etc.
It shows you are truly interested in them. You aren’t looking for an excuse to get away. The small talk may become more interesting, as pictures tend to nudge storytelling. It will make the person feel more valued and give you more insight into their life.

Chasing Life – The Big Business Behind Weight Loss Drugs

U.S. healthcare providers wrote more than 9 million prescriptions for Wegovy and other drugs used for weight loss, and that was in the last three months of 2022 alone! Demand has gone up since then and is expected to increase even further.
Some medications have resulted in 22% weight loss (22% of body weight); prior drugs resulted in a weight loss of 5-10% at the most!
Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, Zepbound – Zepbound came onto the market after Thanksgiving and is going faster than any of the previous drugs we’ve seen in this class.

Price is $900-$1,300/month for these drugs – many people are having problems getting insurance coverage for these weight loss drugs.
Medicare and Medicaid have a ban on coverage of weight loss drugs. There has been federal legislation introduced that is trying to change that.
Some people are turning to compounded versions of these drugs.

Late last year, the U.S. FDA had seized thousands of units of counterfeit Ozempic. The FDA is sending letters to online sellers warning them to stop selling these knockoffs.
These weight loss drugs are an expensive drug that people take for the rest of their lives – great for the pharmaceutical market
If you stop taking the drugs, you will probably regain the weight lost.
Some companies worry that those on these weight loss drugs will purchase less food since they aren’t eating as much, and companies will be impacted.

Companies are coming out with pills instead of weekly injections. Companies are also looking into the fact that you can have muscle wasting when you lose weight so fast, so some companies are working on trying to support your muscles as you lose all of the weight through combination drugs.
Stigma – people think others taking the drug are “cheating” and “should be doing the hard work” – they are taking medicines that doctors have prescribed to them because they think they could benefit from it. Some doctors have said that patients not taking the drugs are “choosing to stay the weight they are” because they aren’t taking the drugs.

The Jordan Harbinger Show – Kashmir Hill – Is Privacy Dead in the Age of Facial Recognition?

The Future of You – The Discussion: ‘Your Face Belongs to Us’ with Kashmir Hill

These podcasts were based on the book “Your Face Belongs to Us” by Kashmir Hill. I haven’t read the book, but I found these podcasts intriguing. In a nutshell, the author’s take is that our face belongs to lots of people who want to get good at tracking and identifying us.

Clearview AI went out and scraped billions of photos from the public web from social media sites and did it without anyone’s consent, and their database has 30 billion photos. You can upload a photo of someone you don’t know to Clearview’s app and it will pull up all of the photos of them that appear on the internet and will show you their name, social media profiles, etc.
Clearview limits use of its app to police and law enforcement agencies. Clearview made money off of their database by selling it to police departments and thousands of agencies around the world. Originally, they wanted to sell it to companies, grocery stores, hotels, and airports.
Clearview can show you headshots you know about, but can also show you Flickr photos, photos where you’re in the background of someone else’s photo, etc.

Casinos use facial recognition to keep out card counters.
Airports and airlines use facial recognition.
Facecheck.id – upload your face and see where else it appears on the internet.

Madison Square Garden installed facial recognition technology in 2018 for security threats. The owner, James Dolan, realized he could use the system to keep out his enemies, namely lawyers who work at law firms who have suits against him, who he doesn’t like because they cost him a lot of money. In the last year, they scraped lawyers’ photos from their firm’s websites and created a ban list of thousands of lawyers. When they try to get into a game or concert, they get turned away. An entire firm gets banned, not just the lawyer working on the case. They are banned until their firms drop the lawsuits against Madison Square Garden.

Some people say it’s illegal because they didn’t obtain consent from the people included in the database. They claim they are just “Google for faces” – they are taking public photos that are on the internet and organizing them by face and making them easier to find. They take public and private information and make it easier to sort through.
We love to post faces and tag people online on social media. We are essentially handing over a bunch of information that helps companies make their facial recognition technology better.
More people are posting privately on social media now. People who have posted publicly have had photos come back to haunt them, have given people access to photos and information they didn’t want them to have access to, and have been included in databases they didn’t consent to.

Regulations:

European Privacy Law – you can go to Clearview AI and give them your face and ID and request that they remove you from their database. The drawback is that keeping you out of the database requires them to keep your face to create a “block list” so that your photos don’t surface.

Illinois has a law where you can’t use people’s voiceprint, faceprint, or fingerprints without their consent. Many states don’t have laws like this.
There are so many questions raised with facial recognition and voiceprints and a lack of regulations. We are relying on the benevolence of technology companies and hoping that they make good decisions.
We can pass laws and regulations about the use of facial recognition.

How far is too far?

Facial recognition ends anonymity as we know it. Police using it within reason can be a good thing. Companies using it to keep out shoplifters can be a good thing. Maybe we don’t want companies using it to discriminate people based on where they work or because they are a government official or investigative journalist.
How far will this go? Could stores use facial recognition to discriminate against those who have left a bad review previously, who support a different political party? etc.
Russia uses facial recognition technology to identify protestors there against the war in Ukraine and gives them tickets for unlawful assembly for gathering to protest the war. China has used facial recognition technology to target people who look like Muslims entering businesses. A public restroom in Beijing kept people from stealing toilet paper by requiring them to look at a facial recognition camera, gave them a certain amount of toilet paper, and they couldn’t get more for several minutes!

https://passionplanner.com/blogs/content/self-love-affirmations

With Valentine’s Day this week, I enjoyed reading these self-love affirmations, even though I have a loving husband. Here are some of my favorites.

Self-Love:

I am proud of who I am.
The beauty of the world is reflected in me.
I am enough.
I will speak my own Love Language to myself.

Confidence:

What I have to say is worthy of being heard.
I am capable of great things.
I am exactly who I am supposed to be at this moment in time.

Anxiety:

I will survive this moment, as I have survived them all before.
I trust the process.

Success:

I trust the timing of my journey.
I define my own version of success.
I am qualified and exceptional.

Health:

I trust my body to know what it needs.
I know my body best.
I deserve rest.

Healing:

I grow through all that I go through.
I am the writer of my own story.
I am grateful for who I am becoming.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 8, 2024

February 8, 2024February 8, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Life Kit – 5 simple ways to minimize stress

Set a MOST goal:
- Motivating
- Objective and measurable
- Small
- Timely- something you can accomplish in months.
Is there something you can look forward to when you make that change and are feeling less overwhelmed? What matters to you most?
Small changes: pack lunch the night before, take a walk during lunch, etc.

Change your relationship with technology. On average, people spend more than four hours on their phone each day! Many people scroll on their phones as soon as they wake up.
Popcorn brain – the urge to constantly bounce from task to task while we are online
The pace of life offline is much slower than the online one and needs more time and attention. Set boundaries with your phone. Limit scrolling to twenty minutes per day, disable push notifications, and resist the urge to grab your phone by keeping your phone a distance away.

Tap into your mind/body connection to lower stress. Your mind and your body are in constant communication and are linked. Do regular deep breathing exercises. Stop, breathe, and be. Daily movement can help your brain and body. Not enough movement/no movement is bad for the brain and body. Find ways to sit less and move more.
Do tasks one at a time and take regular work breaks. Time block.
Quiet your inner critic. Your inner critic has a megaphone during periods of stress. Practice daily gratitude journaling. Work on cognitive reframing.

The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast – 6 Fitness Habits That Are Holding You Back

Overtraining – unless you are training for a bodybuilding/physique competition or a certain race or event, you do not need to be training more than five days each week. Working out too much can go against your body.
Undertraining – if you don’t have a specific plan or goal in mind, you may be undertraining. Aim to hit each muscle group 1 or 2 times per week.

Cardio – cardio is not bad. You will not tone your entire body by doing cardio. Cardio can lead to being worried about calories burned.

Worrying about calories burned – if you’re worried about the calories burned, you will do more cardio. You need to do strength training. The amount of calories you burn in a workout has nothing to do with the effectiveness of a workout.
Being afraid of lifting weights – you will not look manly or bulky. Start out slowly. Add in three days of weightlifting. The only way you can build muscle consistently and have the body you want is to apply progressive overload and make it harder for your muscles to work. Increase the difficulty of your workouts by increasing weights, increasing reps, or decreasing your rest time. Your last rep should be difficult.
Not resting – if you are not taking rest days, you will not see results. The only time your muscles can grow is when you are at rest. Your muscles grow as they repair themselves and build when you are resting. You can do yoga, stretch, or go for a walk on rest days. Give yourself rest from lifting weights.

Self Improvement Daily – The Communication Model

“The communication model breaks down the content of our statements into 4 categories: Facts, opinions, feelings, and wants. The idea is that when you directly address all 4 of these things in communication, it makes your message clear and fully understood.

First are the facts. This is what actually happened with no emotional connection, and no assumptions. You know something is a fact when it’s impossible to disagree with. When you start by stating the facts, it creates a neutral ground and firm foundation.

Next comes opinions. This is when you state your perspective or frame of reference. This is an elaboration on the facts and how you’re interpreting it. Note that your interpretation is not factual itself; it’s simply your biased judgment of the facts. When you express your opinions with that level of awareness, people are more likely to listen and see where you’re coming from.

Then we get to feelings. This is the specific emotion that your opinion, interpretation, or judgment caused within you. When you communicate how you’re feeling about everything, it removes any blame or fault. This reduces the threat and allows people into your world so that they know how you have been impacted.

And last, we get to ‘wants’. This is your opportunity to talk about what you’d like to happen next. When teed up correctly, your ‘wants’ don’t come off as so selfish because you’ve explained the context, and your request is more reasonable.

In a practical example, this is how a manager might speak to an employee:

Fact – The deadline was yesterday and I did not receive the completed project

Opinion – To me this means that either you have too much on your plate, or you’re not being efficient with your work

Feelings – This makes me worried because we have a lot riding on servicing this client

Wants – In the future, I want you to meet your deadlines but if you know you’re going to miss it, give me 24 hours’ notice so that I can plan accordingly.

Doesn’t that feel effective, fair, and solution oriented? The next time you find yourself miscommunicating with someone else, take a step back and make sure all 4 elements of the communications model are being addressed! It will make things clear, smooth, and understandable.”

How I Built This with Guy Raz – Liquid Death: Mike Cessario

There are over 80 brands of bottled water in the United States.
Mike Cessario had no experience in water, but he had almost two decades of experience in advertising. He knew that if he tried something totally outlandish, it might just work. Seven years later, Liquid Death sells more than $100 million of water each year.
Liquid Death is water in a tall aluminum can that looks like an energy drink.
Before Liquid Death was an actual product, it was just an ad on social media that was used as a test.

Mike attended the Warped Tour and hung out with bands who were seemingly drinking cans of Monster energy drinks, but in small font, the cans were labeled “tour water.” Since Monster was their sponsor, they created water for the bands that looked just like their product they wanted to promote.
Mike’s goal was to create a water brand that looks like an energy drink and it was all about making fun of the fact that this is what people actually drink (such as at Warped Tour).
The original idea for a tallboy can was that it looks like something like a beer or energy drink that feels fun, but what’s inside is really good for you.
Mike also wanted a can because aluminum is a better alternative to plastic.

Bottled water is typically bottled at the source. It was challenging to find a manufacturer for his canned water.
No money for marketing – wanted to create something people would naturally share on social media – wanted to come up with the dumbest or craziest idea – Liquid Death was an odd name people would be drawn to and want to share.
Mike chose a German black letter font that was used on beer cans.

Mike started an Indiegogo fundraiser trying to raise $150k featuring a video of a woman pouring out Liquid Death – trying to position water as extreme and causing death – kills surfers, avalanches, etc. The Indiegogo was not successful and only raised $1,500. After that, Mike made posts on social media over the course of four months and the video had almost 3 million views and the page had about 60k followers, despite not having any product to sell!
The ad campaign was started before he had a product! In 2018, he had a Facebook page with several followers, a video with millions of views, a 7-11 franchisee from Michigan wanting it in his three stores, and the biggest non-alcoholic distributor in New York wanting to talk to a sales rep about the product.

Many people told Mike his product was impossible in the United States. Mike found a place in Austria that had canning capabilities, but he still needed the capital.
Mike says the branding is more important to him than the taste. People buy things that have the same functionality as other items, but are loyal to a brand and are willing to pay more for it. Mike said the source mattered to people, but that’s enough to make people feel that it’s a premium product.
Some people find the brand appealing and want to try it instead of trying an energy drink or a different brand of water.

Mike wanted to use Amazon to ship and fulfill the product. Amazon charges you a fee for every case that they ship and fulfill, so he had to charge $20 for a 12 pack in the beginning to make any money because the shipping costs were so expensive.
Amazon was originally selling a 12-pack for $20 due to shipping, but then Whole Foods sold it for $14.99 for a 12-pack since shipping wasn’t required.

Spring of 2021 – container ship blocked the Suez canal and started a chain reaction of ocean freight costs increasing by 5x. Mid-way through 2022, it went up again. They decided to move to co-packing in the United States in western Virginia.
By 2021, Mike raised a series-C with over a 500 million dollar valuation!

In 2021, Liquid Death did $45 million in gross revenue, which is small for a beverage company.
Smart Water (plastic bottles of municipal tap water) sells over $1 billion each year.
Coca Cola, the biggest company in the world with all of the resources and shelf space, tried to take share in the energy company by creating Coke Energy. The experiment lasted two years and was a massive failure, and it shows that giant companies are bad at creating brands.
If the brand was only about water in aluminum cans, Coca Cola could make the product much cheaper. That’s why Liquid Death has always led with the brand and what they can own first: funny, irreverent brand making people laugh, murder your thirst… forget the plastic was always the second focus, as they knew they couldn’t own aluminum cans as a brand.

2024- predicting well over $100 million in revenue this year
What makes this brand sustainable in the long run? What makes it have staying power? Internet and technology makes it so that brands don’t often last 50 years. In five years, you could be a brand doing billions of dollars in sales.
Mike says luck was involved in his success, but his previous experiences helped him make the right decisions. He says the brand is a true reflection of himself.

I haven’t tried Liquid Death yet, but it was fascinating learning about the brand!

I really enjoyed this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/scary-thoughts

Scary Thoughts

February 6, 2024

So far you’ve survived every scary thought you’ve ever had.

That’s a pretty good track record.

Let that inform you the next time the thoughts come back.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

January 2024 Reads

February 5, 2024 amybenoit

I read five books in January 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to starting a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the five books I read in January 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“101 Things I Learned in Advertising School” was written by Tracy Arrington with Matthew Frederick. It was an interesting, quick, and easy read, and I learned a lot! Here are a few takeaways:

It’s all advertising until it lands in the cart: public ads, location, packaging, etc.

Don’t buy media if you can earn it through exposure such as news coverage, editorials, and social media buzz.

You won’t have a healthy relationship if you do all the talking. In the digital environment, if consumers don’t like what they hear and don’t feel they are being listened to, they can and will go elsewhere – maybe even to the media outlets.

“The Book You Want Everyone You Love To Read: Sane and Sage Advice to Help You Navigate All of Your Most Important Relationships” was written by Philippa Perry, an author, psychotherapist, artist, TV and radio presenter, and advice columinist for The Guardian. This book will change your life.

It covers the importance of relationships and the difficulties that come with them, and you will get into the habit of practicing new ways of behaving and communicating. I took away so much from this book and will share more about it on my blog sometime.

It is so much easier to blame something outside ourselves for our discontent than it is to look inwardly for a cause.

Recognize when you are playing the martyr and stop. If you allow yourself to be dragged down by someone else, you will resent them for it. Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.

“Internal Medicine: A Doctor’s Stories” was written by Terrence Holt and detailed what it’s like to be a doctor. It was fascinating at times and I gained some medical knowledge and a better understanding of the process of my grandpa’s heart and kidney failure that led to his death.

“Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI” was written by David Grann and detailed the atrocities the Osage Indian Nation experienced. This book detailed the allotment, the policy to break up American Indians’ communal ownership of land in Oklahoma, and the Indians kept the subsurface mineral rights to the land. Within several years, large deposits of oil were discovered directly under their lands, and the Osage were given a headright, which was a share in the mineral trust. A headright could not be bought or sold; it could only be inherited. This resulted in calculated and cruel murders, betrayals, and coverups.

“Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations” was a unique graphic memoir written by Mira Jacobs. This book covered Mira’s journey as a first-generation American and delved into difficult conversations that she had with her young son and husband about race, love, and family. Mira detailed several times she didn’t fit in because of the color of her skin – from receiving a bottle of Fair & Lovely as a gift from her grandmother, to navigating the job search as a colored person, to being mistaken as “the help”, to being told by a waitress that other customers didn’t feel “safe” near her. She was often torn about whether to say something or whether to stay silent about the treatment she faced. These two photos resonated with me.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 1, 2024

February 1, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Juice & Toya Podcast – The Power of a Healthy Routine

Make movement part of your lifestyle, even on days when you’re busy. Have some type of structure. Make certain things a priority in your day that are non-negotiable and build that structure into your day.
- Ex: my fitness routine in January 2024 for my health:
  - Walk every day (one Ifit workout) – mornings when working from home, evenings when in the office.
  - 10 minutes abs or glutes each day.
  - Lift weights Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays – Tuesdays/Thursdays during part of lunch when working from home

Nutrition: meal plan and prep. Have designated mealtimes.
Create structure around a goal. Make parts of your routine goal oriented.
Use some Juice & Toya workouts from YouTube. They also have challenges on YouTube.
Your nutrition is far more important than your workouts!!
Every day is a chance to grow.

The Unf*uck Your Fitness Podcast – 6 Steps to Starting A Successful Fitness Journey

These are pieces of advice from the podcaster, Kristy Castillo, not me:

Track your food for two full weeks, eating exactly what you are eating without making any changes. Then you will know what you need to change.
If your goal is weight loss, put yourself in a deficit of 200 calories. If your goal is body re-composition, stay at your average amount of calories, but increase your protein. 1 gram of protein per pound of your goal body weight – fill out the rest of those calories with fats and carbs

Some sources suggest 1 gram of protein per pound of your goal body weight is too much. Here is a different recommendation:

Start lifting weights four days a week. Hit 8,000 to 10,000 steps per day.
Start supplementing with protein shakes, protein bars, collagen, reds, and greens.
Get better/more sleep. Establish a wind down routine to get better/more sleep. Manage stress. Start going to therapy.
Start saying no to anything you don’t have time for. It’s okay to not say yes to everything.

The Unf*uck Your Fitness Podcast – 11 Truths You Need to Know About Fitness and Life

Here are the tips that most resonated with me:

You need carbs. Carbs are energy for your body, and the longer you restrict carbs from your diet, the longer your body will have to use stored body fat to compensate for the lack of carbs. The sooner you start to eat carbs, the sooner your body will feel better and shed body fat.

You need rest. Your muscles only grow when you’re resting.

If you don’t have much weight to lose and you want to tone up, you need to stop doing cardio.

I personally still do cardio since I sit all day…

You will need to say no to things that don’t align with you sooner rather than later: people, celebrations, food, parties, etc. The sooner you can figure out that you can say no to anything, the better off you’ll be.

Your fitness journey is a lifestyle. You can start with a 6-week program, but if you’re only starting with a 6-week mindset, you’re going to fail. Your fitness is a part of your life, becomes who you are, and is part of your journey. You have to make fitness a part of your lifestyle.

NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – Saving Money with Credit Card Rewards Points: Travel, Cash Back, and More

The amount of points you will need for a trip can fluctuate. It is important to check in on your points several times each year.
Delta changed the requirements to earn elite status in future years and put limits on some of the benefits credit card holders can use, such as airport lounge access. Alaska Airlines made changes to its award chart, which determines the number of miles you’ll need to pay for a ticket. The lesson is that you should never have all of your eggs in one basket. Having only one credit card that earns points for one brand really limits your options, as travel loyalty programs change or get devalued often with little or no notice.
Carrying a co-branded airline or hotel credit card can be really beneficial for certain perks, such as free checked bags or free travel companions. It is recommended to lean more toward flexible rewards credit cards that often earn more rewards on everyday purchases.

Flexible rewards credit cards often have their own travel points, such as Chase Ultimate Rewards, Citi Thank You points, etc. They can be used to book all kinds of travel, not just a Delta flight or an Alaska flight. Many providers allow you to transfer those points to certain hotel and airline providers.
There are still good bonus options for new card holders. Welcome bonuses are an important part of the travel credit card strategy for many people.
If you use Chase Ultimate Rewards at Amazon to check out, they’re worth 0.8 cents each. Those same points can be worth up to 1.5 cents each when you use them to book travel through Chase or even more than 1.5 cents each if you transfer them to travel partners.

Recommendation: seek a card where you will earn flexible points. Don’t get scared off by credit card annual fees. The rewards and the perks can far outweigh the fee itself – if you use the perks! Upon annual review, if you don’t use the perks anymore, reconsider having the card.
Every year, make sure each card you use still makes sense for you in terms of the annual fee (if applicable), and the perks. Don’t just open cards willy nilly without a plan. Keep a spreadsheet of the perks and conditions of each card you have. Make sure you can meet the minimum spending requirements when you do open a new credit card to get the welcome bonus. Have a plan to meet those spending requirements without spending more money than you intend to or would otherwise.
Some cards have bonus categories. That’s why it is not wise to use a travel card for all purchases. To ramp up your points, have one card for groceries, one for restaurants, etc. if possible – depending on the bonus categories. Different cards are better for different categories.

If the largest part of your spending is at grocery stores, find a credit card that offers the most points at grocery stores and a different card for the rest of your purchases.
The interest that you’ll pay on balances that aren’t paid in full every month will far outweigh any rewards that you will earn.
Cash – if you have to pay a surcharge to use a credit card, the surcharge you’ll pay usually outweighs the rewards you will earn.
Credit Card Competition Act – proposed legislation that can impact the points you earn from using credit cards.

Lift Kit – Improve your indoor air quality

When thinking about air quality, consider the pollution that is coming from inside your house: cooking, cleaning, home improvement projects, etc. Ventilate! Open the windows and turn on a fan that vents outside.
Gas stoves burn fossil fuel inside your house. Nitrogen dioxide is present when using a gas stove, which can cause respiratory issues.
Ventilate when you burn things like incense or when you use cleaners. Check the quality of the air outside as well before ventilating.

Keep your house as dust-free as possible. Dust is made up of fibers, hair, dead skin cells, and chemicals. Take off your shoes at the door of your house so that you aren’t bringing chemicals, dirt, and pollutants from outside into your space.
Dust your home regularly. Avoid dry dusting. Use a damp cloth.

Get a good vacuum with a HEPA (high efficiency particulate air) filter, which can remove 99.97% of dust, pollen, mold, bacteria, and many other airborne particles.
When you’re cleaning, open a window. Think about what cleaning materials you are using and any potential health risks associated with them.

Look for mold growing in your bathroom and on surfaces like drywall, dust, etc. Mold releases spores into the air that can cause allergic reactions or trigger allergy symptoms. Figure out where the moisture is coming from and where water damage came from before you make repairs. If you do the cleanup yourself, put on some rubber gloves, goggles, and an N95 mask. If the mold is on a hard surface, scrub it down with dish soap and water, not bleach!
Prevent mold in the future by keeping your house as dry as possible. Think carefully before you get a humidifier. Condensation can start creating mold problems.

Get an air cleaner or make one. Air cleaners filter the air in your home using a HEPA filter. Pay attention to the clean air delivery rate.
Air sensors can measure the levels of pollutants in your home: fine particles, ozone, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen dioxide. If you buy a sensor, use it to get smarter about what you do at home and when you need to ventilate.

Consider radon testing. Radon seeps into our homes through cracks in the floor or walls or gaps around pipes. It is the second leading cause of lung cancer in the United States, aside from cigarette smoking. You can get an at-home radon test kit. If your radon levels are higher than recommended, you should hire a contractor to fix your home, as it requires technical knowledge and special skills.

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/question-of-attention

I really liked this blog post from Gabe the bass player this week:

Question Of Attention

January 31, 2024

We spend a lot of time paying attention. Scrolling, clicking, listening, reading, watching.

So it’s worth asking…what do you want to pay attention to?

Our time, action and attention are too valuable to not consider our answer.

»» Keep in mind…the list of things we care about is very long but the list of things we care FOR is very short.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – January 25, 2024

January 25, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – Bill your time for a week

Try acting like a lawyer for one week by tracking your time and billing it to different projects. The experience will give you some ideas of how to best spend your waking hours.
You will see how many hours you actually work if you have a salary job.
You can even track your workday and track how many hours you spend in meetings, responding to e-mails, etc.
Time tracking is data that can show you the truth of where your time is going so that you can make more rational choices about how you want to spend your time.

I selected a 2024 planner that allows me to timeblock, and it has been interesting! Almost all of my time, aside from work, sleep, eating, and working out, has been spent on classes and schoolwork.

Focus on Marriage Podcast – Maintaining Joy When Your Plate is Full

Continually communicate with your partner about what the high and low of your day was. Continuously find joy and humor.
Watch a funny video short together and laugh.
This podcast recommended this book. I haven’t read it yet.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty – The 5 Relationships You Need to Invest in to Supercharge Your 2024

Belonging – we need to feel a sense of connectedness to others and feel we are part of a group or community.
- Feeling part of a group creates inner harmony and balance, better mental and physical health, and fewer negative emotions.
- We need to be able to share our thoughts and heart without worrying we will be judged.

Legacy – feeling connected to something bigger – finding people dedicated to creating change, inspiring people, and helping others – celebrating growth, exchanging ideas, and creating new friends
- Jay Shetty had a dinner party with several people he didn’t know well and asked them a few questions: What has been your biggest personal or professional win of 2023? What has been your biggest challenge, personally or professionally, in 2023? How can the people at this table help you/what support can they offer you?
Each person personally shared their flaws, roadblocks, and challenges and there was so much trust in the room. Who in your life would you want to spent more time with because you want to share their same legacy? Are these people inspiring you by the way they live? Have they dedicated their life and work to helping people physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually?

Independence – relationship with ourselves – autonomy and personal usefulness
- Sense of feeling you have value – Reflect on what you are doing and who you are becoming. Who you want to become is the most important question you will ever answer. Take action to become that person. Who do you want to become? Who are you becoming? What is that independent autonomous path that you are building and trying to take because you know that that will lead to your higher self? What is the independent desire for who you want to become?
- We only become things that we don’t want because we aren’t sharing the deepest parts of ourselves. If you don’t share who you are, people will expect you to be who they want you to be.

Safety – people who bring security and stability into our lives – people we feel the deepest and safest with
- People who feel trusted become more trustworthy as a result of increased oxytocin levels in their brains.

Service – relationships based on surrender and service
- Who are we serving? Who are we taking care of? Jay Shetty recommends you spend 20% of your time with people who are guiding you, 60% of your time with people who are peers with you who you feel uplifted by/people you uplift, and 20% of your time with people you are serving and giving to – be a teacher and student at the same time to create humility and proactivity.

Self Improvement Daily – Slipping Back to How Things Used to Be

One of the most difficult parts of self-improvement is sustaining the positive changes you’ve introduced into your life. It’s easier to get motivated to start than it is to stay consistent and maintain your desired habits and routines.

Here are a few things to have in place that will support you in actually keeping the good habits you’ve worked hard for:

Have awareness of the slip – have pieces in place that make you aware of if you’re meeting certain expectations in your life. I highly recommend using a habit tracker for a visual record of your consistency.

Clarity – If you’re not crystal clear on what your standards are, then it’s impossible to know if things are slipping. For example, if you say you want to work out more, set a specific standard to provide clarity and measure your consistency, such as “I want to work out for 30 or more minutes five times each week.” Use a habit tracker to make it easy to notice when you’re starting to slip. The clarity gives meaning to the awareness.

System for reviewing your performance – have the resources in place to hold yourself accountable to reaching a higher standard. If you’re not intentional about paying attention to the things that are focuses for you, they’re naturally going to gravitate toward their comfort zone. Again, I recommend using a habit tracker.

You can find several free habit trackers here: https://www.saturdaygift.com/habit-tracker-printable/

Terrible, Thanks for Asking – “Why are drug dealers putting fentanyl in everything?” from Search Engine

Fentanyl reportedly kills more adults under the age of 45 than guns, COVID-19, or cancer.
The Belgian doctor who invented fentanyl invented over 100 medicines. He was trying to find something that was better than morphine for hospital procedures, such as open-heart surgery. Fentanyl comes on faster and goes away faster, doesn’t cause nausea, and is basically the best hospital drug.
The DEA estimated that only 700 people died of fentanyl overdose in 2014. According to NIH, in 2016, almost 20,000 people died from synthetic opioid overdoses, most of that fentanyl.

Fentanyl is much cheaper than heroin because it’s synthetic and made in a lab. It’s also more potent, making it incredibly profitable. It is incredibly addictive.
Much of the supply was being produced in China, where it was quasi-legal. The Chinese government was slow to ban analogs of the drug, so manufacturers used slight tweaks to the recipe that added a molecule here or there but left the basic chemical structure intact.
When pain prescriptions run out, some people seek out illicit heroin on the street. There isn’t enough heroin to feed the demand, so fentanyl steps in to fill the void.

Mexican dealers ship fentanyl to places like San Diego, El Paso, etc. It is distributed by regional gangs.
Fentanyl is cheaper, but it doesn’t last very long. The fentanyl high is reported to only last up to a few hours (sometimes only 15 minutes), leaving people scrambling to find more.
Fentanyl offers a shorter high, a greater addiction potential, and a higher risk of overdose than heroin.

Some deaths from overdoses can be helpful for fentanyl dealers because people believe they need to try it; some say it’s a form of advertisement for how powerful the drug is and they want to try it.
Resources: Dansafe.org to buy fentanyl test strips, drugsdata.org to see what is in drug supplies
Suboxone is a blocker to prevent you from getting the high from heroin. Suboxone doesn’t block the high from fentanyl.

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – The Minimalists: Why You Should Declutter Your Life

Do you own too much stuff? Is your calendar overflowing with so much stuff that it causes you stress? Are you stressed out by how much you have to do all the time? This episode is for you.
More is not always better. Clutter increases stress and increases the risk of mental health problems, financial problems, time management troubles, and social problems.
Living in a small space makes you think twice about what you really need.
How much is enough will vary depending on your age and life changes. Just because something added value to your life before doesn’t mean it will continue to produce that same amount of value. You don’t need to hold onto items just because they are sentimental.

There are three categories that all of your possessions can fit into: essential, non-essential, or junk.
Most of the things we’re holding onto that we don’t want to let go of, we’re holding onto “just in case” or for “someday.” The problem is that we hold onto many of these items that take up space in our homes and in our lives. Let go.
Our memories are not in our things. Our memories are inside us. If we let go of some sentimental things, we aren’t letting go of the memories. You can take photos that trigger the memories, but you don’t need to hold onto things you won’t get value from. Instead, you can give them away and add value to someone else’s life.
There is more grief involved in holding onto something than in letting that dream die.

Spontaneous combustion rule: what would happen if that thing spontaneously combusted? Would you replace it or would you feel a sense of relief?
You can donate items or try to sell them. Some people try to sell anything they can get $20 for and donate after one week if it doesn’t sell.
Physical clutter, hidden clutter (calendar clutter/business) – “if something is not an emphatic yes, say no.”
Resources: 30-day minimalism game (1 item day one, 2 items day 2,… 30 items day 30), theminimalists.com
Ask yourself what value something brings into your life. Sometimes we hold onto things just because they were given to us as a gift even though they don’t really add value to our lives or because we paid a lot for it. Get rid of things that aren’t improving your life.
Use the spontaneous combustion rule.
Create a challenge to start subtracting things from your life.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – January 18, 2024

January 18, 2024 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Psych2Go – 11 Things You Should Say “NO” To

Toxic people – toxicity breeds negativity
People who make you feel unsafe –you have the right to feel safe and not on edge
People who disregard your emotional wellbeing and feelings –you deserve to have the freedom to express your feelings
Situations that make you feel unwanted –you are worthy
Negative self-talk –be reflective rather than critical
Comparing yourself to other people –everyone is different and unique, and everyone has their own flaws, abilities, and strengths
Bad partners –you have no obligation to stay in a relationship
Resisting growth and healing –you are your own masterpiece, and you can own every aspect of who you are
Needless waiting –you can’t recover your wasted time.
Letting other people’s opinions determining your worth –people will always have an opinion of you. Opinions are not facts.
Shrinking yourself to fit in –you’re missing out on the opportunities to grow and reach your greatest potential

Say no to the things that aren’t serving you so that you’ll be saying yes to a clear mind and happier life surrounded by more love and light.

Optimal Relationships Daily – Learning Better Marriage Communication Tools

Take more couple time alone – uninterrupted time for just the two of you.
Manage your own irritability and stress. Take care of your health and get adequate sleep.
Use your everyday life to reduce stress. Tune in as your partner talks about their day:
- frustrations and irritations
- the things they are proud of
- the unpredictable events or people in our lives

Couples learn, over time:
- They learned the cast of characters in each other’s lives.
- They learned more about the worries and pressures each faced.
- They offered no advice, criticism, solutions, or suggestions.
- Instead, they offered a supportive listening ear, true friendship and empathy, and support and validation.

Ask for an ally, not a problem-solver.
Use touch to effectively communicate. Actions speak louder than words. Show you care.
Tune in to dreams, hopes, and aspirations. As you learn your partner’s dreams, hopes, and aspirations, both of you will feel more connected.

Life Kit – Popular myths about sleep, debunked

Myth: it doesn’t matter what time of day you sleep.
- Truth: It does matter. Your circadian rhythm is influenced by natural sunlight in your environment. We need to get exposure to natural sunlight. Blackout curtains and wearing sunglasses on the way home in the morning (shift work) can help your circadian rhythm if you are a shift worker.
Myth: Being able to fall asleep any time, anywhere, is a good thing.
- Truth: It takes a well-rested, healthy person 15-20 minutes or longer to fall asleep. Being able to fall asleep right away generally means you aren’t getting enough sleep.

Myth: One night of sleep deprivation will have lasting negative effects.
- Truth: One night of sleep deprivation can happen from time to time and is normal. Try to get back on track as fast as possible.
Myth: Many adults only need 5 hours of sleep or less per night for general health.
- Truth: Not getting enough sleep can result in compensatory naps. Sleeping for 7-9 hours each night is best for optimal health and well-being – improved heart health, longevity, brain health, etc.

The best way to get into the recommended range is to start adding 15 minutes to your overall sleep routine and add more sleep time as needed until you wake up feeling refreshed and have energy through the day without reaching for coffee or energy drinks.
Watching tv is not recommended before bed. Reduce screen time.
Make sure your bedroom is under 70 degrees when sleeping. Increasing temperatures results in more nightmares and more tossing and turning.

Myth: Exercising within four hours of bedtime will disturb your sleep.
- Truth: Data does not back this up. Exercising can result in better sleep. Exercise releases endorphins, which are mood elevators and can help with the number one cause of sleep difficulties, which is stress.

https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5saWJzeW4uY29tLzEyNzUzOC9yc3M/episode/YTdhZmEwMmQtN2RkYS00OTM2LWI4OTYtYzJhYWQ3Y2Q0ZmM0?sa=X&ved=0CAUQkfYCahcKEwiQkJmwsOeDAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQAQ

Talks at Google – Shelmina Babai Abji – 8 Strategies for Women to Emerge as Leaders at Work

What value am I going to create? What is it that I would know that they don’t already know? Speak up. You have ideas that matter.
Scan your mental chatter and intentionally pick a response that will allow you to show your worth. You are hired for one reason: the value you create towards the success of your organization.

Intentionally seek assignments that push you out of your comfort zone, that challenge your current competence, and that build new competence. The more competence built, the higher the value you create for your organization. The best way to build more competence is to step outside your comfort zone.
Listen and learn. When you step outside your comfort zone, if you’re not stumbling, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. You’re learning as you’re stumbling.
Look back at who you were before you learned so much. Look at how far you’ve grown.

Who knows you? How are you known? The conversation about people that people are having in the room while they aren’t present is determining their career projection. The way people talk about you when you aren’t in the room is your personal branding.
Panel interviews – the person who gets the job depends on who around the table advocates for them. Find “sponsors” who will advocate for you.

Create a personal success plan. Every week, set aside time to reflect on what you’ve learned and what successes you’ve had in the last week.
Surround yourself with people who are celebrating you, or you become your own cheerleader. Don’t wait for anyone. Recognize that you have worked so hard to be where you are and achieve what you’re doing.

Focus on what you can control. Do not expend your time and energy on what you can’t control. Uncertainty is always going to be there.
You have limited energy and limited attention, and you get to decide where you’re going to allocate your energy and attention. Always be asking: Is this worthy of my attention? Should I be doing this task? Will it move me closer to my definition of success? Will it contribute toward the success of my organization? If not, learn to say no. Structure your days around your highest priorities.
Saying no can show people that you respect your attention, time, and energy. When you respect yourself, others will respect you.

When you go into a meeting, set intentions. If you don’t set intentions, you will be driven by someone else. When you become intentional, you will not let their behavior drive your behavior. Behave in alignment with the brand you want for yourself. Show up as a leader no matter what. If you show up as a leader when the conversation is highly emotionally charged, people will remember that.

Be very intentional about who you seek advice from. If you have a mentor who is not challenging you, who is not contributing to your growth, or who does not have the capacity to advise you to move forward, you are blocking your success. Have multiple people you seek advice from and seek “sponsors” who support and advocate for you.

**Note that this podcast did not actually cover the eight strategies expanded upon in her book.**

Self Improvement Daily – Defeating Perfectionism

Perfectionism is an avoidance tactic and a form of self-sabotage. Perfectionism can lead to indecision, the limiting belief that you aren’t good enough, and never accepting something as finished. In order to overcome perfectionism, you need to take imperfect action and overcome self-sabotage to become that next, better version of yourself. That can only happen through taking action.

I have reflected on this quite a bit this week because it resonates with me.

Yesterday, January 17, marked one year at my job, a job I love and am passionate about. Yesterday also marked the end of week two of my post-graduate paralegal certificate program, which has been very interesting and demanding so far.

I had been discerning being a criminal prosecutor for *years* since college, yet I was hesitant to accept my current (non-attorney) role due to ongoing health issues and uncertainty in the number of appointments and treatments I would endure. I accepted the job anyway, even though the timing wasn’t *perfect*.

This past year, in my position, I decided to gather more information and talk to actual criminal prosecutors at my job and ultimately decided not to pursue being a criminal prosecutor – something I had been thinking about for *many* years. A paralegal certificate program was never on my radar. In the process of conversation and achieving clarity, I decided to go for it and pursue a paralegal certificate, despite not having it all figured out.

The point is, I was uncomfortable and was waiting for the perfect time for everything: the perfect time to accept this job, the perfect time to gain clarity in my discernment process, the perfect time to start this paralegal program. Yet, if I had waited for the perfect time to take this job (when my ongoing health issues were resolved), I would not have come this far and discovered all I have. I would still be waiting. Boy, would my life be very different today if I had still been waiting for the perfect time to start.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Author: amybenoit

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