Tag: #readlearnshare

Book review posts, Uncategorized

March 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read four books in March 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to being busy with a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in March 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships” was written by Leil Lowndes, an internationally acclaimed communications expert who coaches top executives of Fortune 500 companies and frontline employees to become more effective communicators. Leil conducts communications seminars for the U.S. Peace Corps, foreign governments, and major corporations. While I did learn some great communication tricks and the book was very useful, I did not like the phone and smug tone of writing. Here are a handful of my take-aways:

  • When someone asks where you are from, never give just the city. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can communicate on.
  • Never give a naked thank you. Never let the phrase “thank you” stand alone.
  • If you leave a voicemail, view it as your ten-second audition to prove you are worthy of a quick callback.
  • Use the big baby pivot when you meet someone new. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a baby who crawled up to your feet and smiled at you.
  • Imagine a giant swiveling spotlight between you and your conversation partner. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.

“Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English” was written by Valerie Fridland, a professor of linguistics at the University of Nevada and author of the popular language blog called “Language in the Wild.” This book contained a linguistic exploration of the speech habits we love to hate – linguistic quirks that are fundamental to our social, professional, and romantic success. This book was fascinating, and here are just a few facts that resonated with me:

Language evolution doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Language evolves because social forces act as triggers in taking underlying linguistic tendencies and giving them social meaning. Ex: migration, school, class, cultural shifts, geography, age, etc.

‘Ums‘ and ‘uhs‘ don’t just fill pauses- these words unconsciously signify the introduction of a new topic or a complex idea and signal to a listener that there will be an upcoming speech delay and convey how long of a delay the listener should expect. ‘Um‘ precedes longer delays than ‘uh.’ They also result in a boost in memory to the listener (of what was stated after the pause) and filled pauses buy ourselves processing time and convey to the listener that “it’s still my turn.”


Our unease with the use of the word ‘like‘ is probably more about its association with casual, younger speech than its functionality. ‘Like‘ is an incredibly amorphous word:

  • verb – to discuss fondness for objects or people
  • noun – to describe likes and dislikes
  • adjective – to mean similar to “in the manner of”
  • preposition – simile construction
  • conjunction – to embed another clause
  • approximating marker – looseness of meaning before a numerical estimate/quantification
  • common quotative verb

“100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships, & Success” was written by Liz Moody, the host of the top-rated Liz Moody podcast, author of best-selling books, and popular online content creator. This book was my favorite book I read in March and contained so much valuable information! I will post about this book in more detail another time, but in the meantime, here are five ways you can change your life.

  • Take the risk. You are far more resilient than you think. Doing is a form of figuring out. Just start. The right time is always right now. A fundamental reason many people don’t find success is that they never begin.
  • Think about your death. What can it highlight about living a life that you’re proud of today? What can it teach you about shifts you need to make?
  • Establish and stick to better boundaries. You reclaim your energy, time, capacity, money, and physical space. We begin to resent people for not catering to our needs, even when we’ve never communicated what those needs actually are. Take a pause before replying to anyone’s invitation or request. Practice checking in with yourself first before you tend to someone else’s needs.
  • Identify your financial dreams. Why do you want to accumulate wealth in the first place? What is your Rich Life? What do you value? What are some things other people might value that truly don’t matter to you? Spend your money on what you value.
  • Create a mental health checklist. Social connection, good nutrition, routine, sleep, and movement are the five pillars of mental health. Use them as a first line of answers if you aren’t feeling your best.

“Excuse Me As I Kiss The Sky” was written by Rudy Francisco, one of the most recognizable names in spoken word poetry, and one of my favorite poets. This book covered different poetry styles, some of which I am not familiar with: ode, obit, golden shovel, contrapuntal, question-and-answer, free verse, page to stage, and love poems.

Rudy is one of the most recognizable names in spoken word poetry, but his talent also shows on the page. Rudy mentioned the difference between page poems and performance poems. Page poems are written for visual aesthetics and consist of rearranging text and line breaks. Performance poems are focused on how the poem will sound out loud, how it feels to say the words, the syllable count, rhythm, and taking just one chance to explain the story.

Here are some of my favorite lines in the book, which I have not formatted into the page poems:

Fragile – “I know the heart can be a fragile and dangerous thing. When it breaks, the ends are often jagged and will cut the hands of people who are just trying to help you clean up the mess. But I also know that pain is nomadic. It doesn’t like to stay in one play for too long. Healing is a slow crawl, but it will find you right where you are.”

“Fear is when we turn up the volume on everything that might go wrong and then allow it to speak louder than courage.”

“The past is one of the few things more stubborn than we are. It will not change and doesn’t care if you have a better idea of how the story should’ve ended.

Healing begins when we stop trying to run backwards on the escalator and embrace whatever will keep us moving forward.”

“I hope you stumble into the kind of love that bends all the question marks into exclamation points.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – March 28, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Holly Fueled Nutrition Podcast – Supplement Myth Busting Series: Melatonin
  • The ideal sleep rhythm is between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
  • In order to sleep well, you need a good stress response/stress reduction. Melatonin won’t fix this.
  • Melatonin levels decrease with age. Melatonin can be found in supplements and in food (tart cherries, grapes, strawberries, nuts, eggs, fish, milk, tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, etc.)
  • Supplements are not regulated by the FDA. Look for a third-party tested supplement (NSF Sport, Informed Choice, Informed Sport label certifications)
  • Dosing – best in about 0.5-3 mg doses. If you take a dose and wake up feeling groggy, it could be because you didn’t take it at the right time or because you took too much.
  • You should take melatonin about two hours before your bedtime to help mimic the circadian rhythm. Take the lowest effective dose for you two hours before your bedtime. Otherwise, it could backfire and make you feel much more tired in the morning.
  • You know it’s working if it improves the duration and quality of your sleep, especially your ability to fall asleep quicker. It shouldn’t automatically make you fall asleep, but it should make that process more efficient. It can’t cancel out bad nutrition habits, poor stress management, or poor sleep hygiene habits.

I was baffled when I learned that melatonin should be taken about two hours before your bedtime in a dose of about 0.5-3 mg. Like most people, I was taking melatonin right before bed and using it as a sleep aid to put me to sleep. I was taking doses of 10 mg right before bed and continued to wake up groggy. Since learning this this week, I changed to a 1 mg dose 2 hours before bed and am feeling more alert in the mornings!

Melatonin can be a good idea if you have a melatonin deficiency, if you have diagnosed insomnia, if you have jetlag, if you do shiftwork and don’t sleep typical hours at night, if you have PTSD, or if you have migraines.

Melatonin is not a good idea for those who are pregnant or breastfeeding (ask your doctor), the elderly or people with dementia, those on dialysis, those with impaired liver function, those with certain autoimmune conditions, or those with a high risk for bone injuries.

Tips to improve sleep:

  • Optimize your stress management
  • Avoid artificial light 1-2 hours before bed
  • Keep your tv out of the bedroom
  • Get adequate sunlight throughout the day, especially in the morning
  • Get adequate vitamin D, whether from the sun or from a supplement
  • Get adequate B vitamins and magnesium through foods or supplements
  • Get enough protein in your diet
  • All of these things help with sleep and may not require melatonin.
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – A Landmark Legal Settlement Could Make Home Buying and Selling More Complicated
  • Agent commissions might fall in the coming years, and real estate negotiations might become more complicated.
  • For decades, home sellers had to set the commission rates for the agents on both sides. As a seller, you’re obliged to disclose how much you’re going to pay the buyer’s agent. Under the new rules, they will disclose how much they are going to pay the listing agent, but buyers will need to decide how much their agents will be paid. The goal is to foster competition and innovation.
  • Old rule: 6% commission is standard but there is not a requirement that commission be 6%. If you’re selling a 100k house, usually each agent gets 3% (listing agent and buyer’s agent). The seller collects the $100k for the house and the seller gets $94k after paying those commissions.
  • New rule hypothetical: seller sells house for $100k. Seller owes $3k to the listing agent. The buyer is responsible for paying their agent, and the buyer will likely ask the seller for that money out of the proceeds of the home sale. They may bump up price to $103k (instead of $100k) and tell the seller to provide the $3k to the buyer’s agent at closing.
  •  There is now negotiating room for how much you’re going to pay a realtor for their services.
  • The U.S. government wants realtor commissions to go down.
  • It can impact when and how you pay for a realtor’s service. Agents may go to a fee-based model. Buyers are likely to add the agent’s paycheck to the home cost and include that in the mortgage. Some agents may want all or some of the money upfront and be reimbursed at closing. Some realtors may decide to charge a fee for showings, submitting offers, or a flat fee for the entire process.
  • It can put first-time homebuyers or people who don’t have much cash at a disadvantage.
  • Some buyers will forego hiring an agent because they will be worried that they may have to pay upfront.
  • Over time, buyer agents will likely be paid less than the current 2.5% or 3%.
  • VA loans/FHA loans have rules about how fees can be paid out of closing costs. It’s unclear right now if, when you close, you can just have the seller pay the buyer’s agent. The VA might need to change its rules.
  • The biggest brokerages in each market might bypass the MLS and post listings to their own websites. The new rules indicate that you can advertise how much you’ll pay the buyer agent if it’s not on the MLS.
  • Under these new rules, sellers will likely keep more proceeds of the home sale. Sellers may be more likely to sell knowing they can keep more of the proceeds.
  • The new rules may encourage mobility and home sales.
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – Save on Travel Transportation: Your Guide to Rental Cars, RVs, and Public Transit
  • Go in with the assumption that you will need to pay a lot to rent a car.
  • Seek out rental car elite status through your credit card.
  • It is significantly cheaper to rent a car through a downtown location than it is from the airport. Take a taxi downtown and only rent a rental car on the day(s) you actually need it to avoid paying for parking fees, several days, etc.
  • Renting an electric car – need to account for how far you’re driving/consider where you will be charging it and consider charging fees
  • Turo, Getaround, Kite, and other companies offer rental car alternatives. They are like an Airbnb for cars. These cars are usually owned by regular people.
    • Pros: cheaper, some offer delivery services
    • Cons: can vary in quality, more limited customer service
  • Account for everyone and make sure everyone and all luggage will fit. Consider whether people in your group will want to split off (may want two vehicles rather than one for group travel)
  • RV – combine the rental car and hotel into one. They can be difficult to drive and more difficult to park. They use a lot of gas (10-12 miles per gallon). You will likely need to dump your own sewage. You can connect with RV share or Outdoorsy and have an RV delivered so that you don’t need to drive it.
  • Trains/Amtrak – Can take a scenic ride that is cheaper than flying. You can take a train between destinations.
  • Public transportation  – many can take you from the airport to downtown. Use public transportation instead of a car: Denver, San Francisco, Chicago, and New York.
  • Hop on/hop off tourist buses if you’re only going to common tourist stops in town
Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – 10 Worst Pieces of Mental Health Advice You’ll Find on Social Media

Below, I have listed the myths covered and the truths listed in italics.

  • Whatever happens, take responsibility. No, please don’t take on extra responsibility for things that aren’t your fault. You aren’t responsible for how others behave or for the things that happened when you were a kid.
  • Being physically fit means you must be mentally strong. Working out is a great way to build mental muscle, but just because you work out a lot doesn’t mean you are mentally strong. Some people who work out a lot have an exercise addiction, emotional pain, or low self-esteem.
  • You can’t love anyone until you love yourself. It’s really tough to love yourself if nobody ever showed you what love feels like.
  • The ultimate goal is to make yourself happy. Making happiness your ultimate goal will probably leave you feeling miserable. Focus instead on gratitude, generosity, or being a kind person.
  • Embrace loneliness because it means you’re getting more connected to yourself. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. The cure for loneliness is connection with other people. Loneliness is harmful for your mental and physical health.
  • Stop doubting yourself. Self-doubt helps you perform better. If you have a little self-doubt, you’re much more likely to prepare better for a test, competition, etc.
  • What other people think of you is none of your business. You shouldn’t ignore the feedback about how your behavior impacts other people. If you’re hearing the same feedback over and over again, pay attention to it.
  • Stop thinking you have social anxiety; you’re just surrounding yourself with the wrong people. If you have social anxiety, it doesn’t matter who you surround yourself with; you’ll be anxious across the board. Social anxiety is treatable, but it’s not their fault for surrounding themselves with the wrong people.
  • The only way to fail is to quit. It’s okay to quit; it’s the refusal to quit that leads to mental health issues and failure. There are so many reasons to quit things that aren’t serving you well. Quitting doesn’t mean you failed; it means you were brave enough to try something and smart enough to stop doing it when you realized it wasn’t a good idea to keep failing.
  • People don’t abandon people they love; they abandon people they’re using. Sometimes relationships aren’t healthy or are self-destructing; it doesn’t mean they never loved you or were using you.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – March 21, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

TED Business – A simple way to inspire your team – David Burkus
  • Most leaders and organizations try to drive the point of why we do what we do. They look to their mission statement and send it out in e-mails, print it on posters, and put it on a company website that no one visits.
  • Most people are less inspired by a compelling answer to “Why?” and more motivated by a clear answer to the question “Who? Who is served by the work that we do?” If I asked you to think of a time when you felt highly engaged and inspired at work, you would probably think of the last time you felt your work was important to someone else – the last time a client thanked you or expressed appreciation.
  • Ex: call centers soliciting donations – some of the workers got to meet with a student who had received scholarship funds raised by that call center and got to hear how receiving those funds made a positive impact on them. They got to meet the answer to their question, “Who is served by the work that we do?” When the researchers followed up a month later, they made double the number of calls per hour and solicited 5x the amount of donations. Pro-social motivation – the desire to protect and promote the well-being of others
  • If you think about the people your work positively impacts, you will be more motivated in your work. Who is served by the work that we do?
  • If you are in a leadership role, part of your job is to become the chief storytelling officer – always ready to tell the story of the client, coworker, or community member whose life is made better by the work your team does. If you aren’t in a leadership role, you can still motivate yourself and other people by capturing every instance you hear of someone who is served by the work you are doing and every thank you that you get for any time you or anyone else needs a positive story about how the work that we are doing matters. Help them find the answer to the question “Who?”

During part of the COVID-19 pandemic, I was a part-time Shipt shopper. I fulfilled Target orders by shopping and delivering them directly to customers within a 15-mile radius, communicated with the customers regarding order status, out of stock items, recommended substitutions, and preferences throughout the process, and used self-check-out to ring up and bag orders. This gig was very satisfying, especially when I focused on how I was serving others – people who had just become parents, elderly people who don’t drive, people who were more susceptible to getting COVID-19, etc. I often received feedback about my communication, expertise in picking out produce and bagging items, and about how much of an impact this had on them.

Instead of asking “Why do I do this?” ask “Who am I serving?”

The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast – 6 Tips to Keep You Going on Your Fitness Journey When Life Gets Tough
  • Expect that life is going to get hard. There is going to be a time when you don’t feel like working out. How are you going to plan for those disasters? You don’t need to be perfect, but you do need to be consistent overall.
  • You need to look at your workouts as “I get to work out” instead of “I have to work out.”
  • You need to have habits and a routine in place. If it’s not a part of your life, you will be quick to decide that it’s not important. It needs to be just as much of a routine as brushing your teeth.
  • It’s not optional. Once you commit to a healthy lifestyle and workout program, it isn’t optional. When life gets hard, the last thing you should do is quit on yourself. When life gets out of control, you need to control what you can! You can control what you eat, what you drink, and how much you work out.
  • Have a plan. When you’re following a plan, you can pick up where you left off without feeling lost.
  • Have some accountability. Having someone encourage you and maybe work out with you is so important.
The Jordan Harbinger Show – Timeshares – Skeptical Sunday
  • Timeshares are a $10.5 billion industry and there are over 1,500 timeshare resorts. Over 10 million households in the U.S. own one or more timeshares.
  • Over half of timeshare owners are GenZ or millennials. The average age of a timeshare owner is 39 years old.
  • 63% of timeshare owners have a four-year college degree.

A timeshare is basically owning a vacation. You are committing to paying an annual fee to go on a trip at the same resort for the rest of your life.

3 models

  • Fixed term: buying the right to exclusively use the property in the same place during the same week every year
  • Floating: more flexibility – you and others need to figure out when you get to use it each year. Everyone usually wants the exact same weeks.
  • Points-based: variety – get to pick a different location each time if you want to. Highly desired destinations cost more points

Why would people choose to get a timeshare instead of going on vacation whenever they want wherever they want? For some, it involves less decision fatigue and planning because you’re super limited in where and when you can go. Some large companies, such as Disney, Hilton, and Marriott are more vetted and care about their brand.

NEGATIVES:

  • Maintenance fees ($1,000 average/yr that can increase each year) – generally also costs $24k to pay for timeshare up front – many people take out a loan from the timeshare developer that carries an interest rate of 6-17%!
  • Points-system – points are devalued over time and people have difficulty finding a booking that fits their needs
  • The companies try to sell you the idea that if you don’t want your timeshare anymore, you can get out of it by selling it. The problem is that nobody wants it.
  • It is hard to get out of the contracts. Law firms specialize in getting people out of timeshares.

Overall, the true cost of the timeshare and maintenance fees is not a deal for most people. The selection of destinations is limited. As opposed to timeshares, planning an individual vacation allows you to choose your destination, dates, and allows you to pick your lodging based on the location of other things.

This post from Seth’s Blog resonated with me this week:

Willfully uninformed

Willfully uninformed

“Access to information used to be scarce. We ranked college libraries on how many books they had, and time at the microfilm reader was booked in advance.

Today, if there’s something I don’t know, it’s almost certainly because I haven’t cared enough to find out.

I don’t understand molecular biology, the history of Sardinia or much of agronomy–but that’s my choice. Now that information is widely and freely available, our sense of agency around knowledge needs to change.

It pays to acknowledge that this is a choice, and to be responsible for it. What else have we chosen not to know?”

Self Improvement Daily – You’re Living What Used To Be Your Goal

You might not even realize it, but there’s something about your life right now that used to be your goal or dream. Maybe you bought a house, moved to a new city, got married, landed that job, completed that project, ran that race, or brought that event to life.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like it. We often don’t see all of the life milestones we’ve reached because we’re focused on new goals, new aspirations, and new dreams. Rather than measuring our progress from who we used to be and where we are today, we often measure the difference between where we are now and where we want to go.

You’re living what used to be a goal of yours. When we acknowledge how far we’ve come, we remind ourselves that we have what it takes to keep on going.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – March 14, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

The Liz Moody Podcast – 15 Love Lessons From 15 Years In A Relationship

Here are the lessons that resonated the most with me:

If you see something, say something. In a relationship, if you see something you love/admire/think they are doing well, don’t keep it to yourself.

Question the “shoulds.” Be intentional about your decisions. Should you get engaged just because you’ve been together a certain amount of time? Should you have kids at a certain age or have kids at all? Should you drink any time someone else is at a social gathering? Should you follow pressures and milestones from society and friends? Your relationship is your relationship. Don’t compare yourself to others.

As work dynamics have changed, you need to be more intentional about making friends. Intentionally expose yourself to people on a regular basis through a book club, walking club, sport, etc. Put yourself in a reoccurring way in front of other people. Suggest avenues to your partner to gain connections.

If your relationship is boring, you need to do more interesting things. Give your relationship the new outputs it needs and deserves – conversations, activities, etc. Ex: Read a separate article each week and tell your partner what you read, learned, and anything interesting you would like to discuss from that article. It will result in more interesting conversations. Ex: podcast walks with partner – discuss podcast at the end of the walk to spark new conversations

Assume the best intentions. Even if it is your partner’s fault, recognize that your partner can be at fault without intending to hurt you.

Plan together. It is really easy for people to change and for their desires to change. There are expectations people have, and when they are not spoken, we run into real problems. Communicate your desires so that you can plan together.

Communication is the crux of all relationship success and woes. Get your partner to know what you want in life and know what they want in life.

Sad to Savage – 26 Things I’ve Learned at 26

Here are some of the best lessons mentioned in this podcast:

  • Putting up boundaries with other people starts with you making boundaries for yourself. It’s okay to be selfish with your time.
  • The quality of the people you spend time with matters more than the quantity.
  • Growth is not always linear, and sometimes you need to have low moments and face challenges to grow.
  • You need to make the choice to walk away from something that no longer serves you.
  • When life changes and things do not go according to plan, that’s because it’s not according to YOUR plan. God has a plan for you.
  • Self-limiting beliefs can be broken. Figure out what your self-limiting beliefs are.
  • Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Don’t compare your timeline to someone else’s.
  • You will never find the time. You need to create it.
  • You truly never know what someone is dealing with beyond the surface.
Optimal Living Daily – 8 Habits to Keep Paper Clutter to a Minimum
  • Deal with papers immediately. As soon as you get the mail, toss all of the junk mail.
    • For school papers, have kids do the homework ASAP and put it back into the backpack so it’s done and ready for the next day.
    • Sign any permission slips and put them right back in the backpack.
    • Let go of all of the drawings that were sent home. If you find something unique, you can take a picture with your child holding it and talk to your child about it before letting it go.
    • Church bulletins – take a photo if needed, mark events on your calendar, and throw them away.
  • Have an inbox for all of the papers that need to be dealt with soon.
  • Have a long-term filing system for things that need to be kept, such as tax records, personal records, etc.
  • Set a weekly time to catch up on paper. Take time each week to pay bills, deal with papers, etc.
  • Set as many statements as possible to “paperless.” Set aside time each week to pay/review/respond as necessary. Automate bills.
  • Toss receipts if you don’t need them for tax purposes.
  • Cancel magazine subscriptions.
  • Avoid paper couponing.

This week I have been reading a fascinating book called “Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English” by Valerie Fridland. Valerie pointed out research about the differences of “uh” vs “um” and their impact.

“Um” is used when longer delays in answering a question are anticipated. “Uh” indicates that our listener may need to wait a second or two for an answer, but “um” indicates they will need to wait longer. A filled pause (“uh” or “um” instead of silence) conveys information at a meta level.

“Uh” or “um” signals listeners to be on alert because there is generally something requiring greater cognitive effort happening. People typically use filled pauses when talking about unfamiliar, difficult, unpredictable, or abstract things, so we incorporate that knowledge into how we unpack what they say. People perform better on memory tests when hearing words such as “uh” or “um” before important statements or stories. This may be because we have more processing time to think about what is going to be said (during the filled pause of “um“). These pauses alert us to pay closer attention to what is being said.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

How I Built This: The Unexpected Paths to Success from the World’s Most Inspiring Entrepreneurs

amybenoit

I really enjoy watching Shark Tank and listening to the podcast “How I Built This with Guy Raz.” This book is based on the highly acclaimed NPR podcast “How I Built This with Guy Raz” and offered insights, inspiration, and incredible stories from the world’s top entrepreneurs on how to start, launch, and build a successful venture. This is a must-read for people who dream of being entrepreneurs or those who want to learn about business origins, challenges, and successes. In this post, I will share some of the most valuable insights from this book.

Anyone can be an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs aren’t chosen. They are made. Self-made.

Customers don’t pay for passion. They pay for things they can use. The way to get startup ideas is not to try to think of startup ideas. It’s to look for problems, preferably problems you have yourself, and solve them.

The scariest thing about starting a business is the unknown. Either stay in your job until your startup demands more time than you can spare OR have a backup plan. It’s a way to have another shot at doing something you’ve already done before so that you don’t go broke while you gather yourself to try again.

The most successful founders know their stuff: their product, their business, their customers, their industry as a whole.

Every entrepreneur should look for a cofounder. You need a partner whose skillset complements yours. Someone who not only shares your vision but elevates it and holds you accountable to it, who does what you cannot, who thinks and sees things in a way you don’t, whose strengths compensate for your weaknesses.

Even if you could do all the work yourself, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions, and to cheer you up when things go wrong … the low points in a startup are so low that few could bear them alone.

Paul Graham

Bootstrapping involves using what you have at your disposal to get yourself where you want to be. Ex: credit cards, personal savings, cycling profits back into the business + keeping control of your business as long as you can.

With some rare exceptions, bootstrapping will only take you so far. There will come a time when you need something that you can’t do yourself and you don’t have the $ to pay for even if you could. You may need other people’s $, manufacturing, mindpower, manpower, and marketing.

Fundraising is brutally hard at every level. It taxes your time, your energy, your ego, and sometimes your relationships. You can use crowdfunding sites. Once you’ve convinced people in your personal network to part with their money in support of your idea, that’s when the pressure to succeed really begins.

Every business is a story. The story connects everyone to the thing you’re building. The store goes from the name and logo to the function of the product, to the partners who founded it, all the way to the customers who patronize it!

All businesses are stories, and all stories are a process.

iteration – the incremental evolution of a product or service; tweaking a product based on feedback until it catches on.

Be open to relocating your business. Where you live matters. Sometimes you want to go where the industry is NOT. Ex: Ben & Jerry’s, Barre3

The first thing to understand is that raising venture capital is about making a promise: a promise that you have a product or service that people will pay money for, that you have a plan to reach as many people as possible, and that in exchange for lots of $, you will bust your butt to reach them. Prepare to answer:

  • How do you expect to scale this?
  • Where is the growth going to come from?
  • Who is the customer for this?
  • Doesn’t something like this already exist?
  • How will you get costs down?
  • Where will you manufacture?
  • Where will you be based?
  • What’s your marketing strategy?
  • Why does anyone need this?
  • Why would anyone do this?

As uncertain as the business world can be, one surefire way to know you’ve built something great that is primed to grow and scale is when your competitors start either copying you or suing you, sometimes both.

Mistakes/recalls – the only reliable way through that critical “before and after” moment is through quick, decisive, transparent action that puts people first and public perception second.

More work is never the real answer. To succeed as you scale, you have to leverage every person in the organization. And to do that, you have to be very intentional about how you craft the culture.

Reid Hoffman

You don’t scale. Only your idea, your story, and your values do, as long as you know them and share them. Know your values so you can make consistent decisions.

Guy Raz

Thinking like a parent and a partner is a skill every aspiring founder should cultivate in preparation for the challenges they will face with potential co-founders because they will invariably pour as much of their heart and soul and energy and money into building their business as they will into starting a family. If you would gladly sacrifice and do whatever it takes to protect your family, why would you not do the same for your business?

Guy Raz

Some people say, ‘Give the customers what they want.’ But that’s not my approach … people don’t know what they want until you show it to them. That’s why I never rely on market research.

Steve Jobs

One of my favorite company stories in the book is that of 5-Hour Energy, a product I’ve never personally used. Manoj Bhargava, the founder of 5-Hour Energy, was at a natural products trade show and looking for inventions he might acquire or license. He came across a 16-ounce energy drink that was better than others on the market. With the help of scientists from a company he’d founded for the express purpose of finding inventions just like this one, he had a comparable energy drink formula in a matter of months. It would turn out to be the easiest part of the process. The hardest part was getting his invention into stores. He knew that the beverage space is particularly challenging due to limited space.

He realized that he wanted people to get energy without having to drink or chug a 16-ounce energy drink, so he came up with the idea of shrinking his product from 16 ounces to 2 ounces. At that size, it wasn’t competing with others in the beverage market, it didn’t need to be refrigerated, and it didn’t take up much shelf space. In fact, it could be on a counter right next to the cash register. His ingredients were also less about energy and more about focus – “vitamins for the brain” – so he positioned his product outside of the convenience and grocery channels, and the first place to sell 5-Hour Energy was GNC, the largest vitamin store. After being a hit at GNC, 5-Hour Energy started being sold in drug stores, convenience stores, and grocery stores.

I highly recommend this book!⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – March 7, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – You don’t need more time
  • You probably don’t need more time in order to do the things you want to do. Instead of looking for more time, change up how you’re spending your time now. You may be surprised at what can fit.
  • Getting an extra day in the year (leap day) does not, by itself, change much for most people. Time is about choices. If you’d like to spend time differently, figure that out and make it happen. Make the most of your time.

I recently read the book “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price, an award-winning writer and science journalist and learned that, on average, Americans spend more than four hours a day on their phones! If you were to limit phone use to one hour a day, what could you accomplish with the extra three hours? Our actions often show what our values are. We often don’t need more time; we need to examine our priorities.

TED Health – Why you shouldn’t trust boredom
  • Our boredom and how we snap out of it can tell us a lot about ourselves.
  • Boredom is a problem in schools. When students are bored in school, they can’t focus, they lose interest, and they misbehave. Students who are chronically bored may drop out. When we’re bored, we drink too much, eat too much, spend too much money, half-listen to people, idle our time with social media and scrolling, etc.
  • Boredom tends to objectify things. Ex: that’s a boring person, that’s a boring book, etc. What bores one person can be very interesting to another person, so boredom is a curious and perplexing mood state and is not objective.

Boredom itself allows creativity to flow. However, modern society with all its gadgets has gotten really good at distracting us from this boredom.

In the right environment, boredom fuels creative people. Instead of staring at your phone, stare at the blank page. Instead of sitting in front of the TV, sit in front of the canvas.

  • Avoidance – many of us who are in a boring situation question how to get out of the situation. We don’t sit with our feelings; we often check our phones to avoid boredom.  
  • Resignation – endure boredom.
  • Boredom is often viewed as a lack of imagination and a loss of agency: “I’m so bored. There’s nothing to do.”
  • As a teacher, the podcaster usually gathered with other teachers to complain about administrators, students, parents, etc. and got bored with it. It was the same complaint culture every day. Eventually, he found other teachers who, instead of complaining, talked about books they were enjoying, hobbies they loved, or what went well in their teaching. These conversations were restorative.
  • Takeaways:
    • Boredom should not be trusted. We tend to trust boredom and make an implicit judgment about something or someone and it is often wrong. It is arrogant.
    • We need to protect our attention. A bored mind is looking to be distracted. If we are in an environment where we are easily distracted, boredom will get the better of us.
    • We need to talk about boredom. We all have strategies we employ and we need to talk about them. We can share them and give our attention to the things we love and the people we care about.
DIY Money – Where to Hold Your Emergency Fund
  • Don’t keep an emergency fund at a bank that doesn’t really give you any interest (most big banks don’t).
  • Look for a bank that will give you over 4% per year in interest. Many online banks and credit card companies offer high-yield savings accounts with great rates.
  • Keep 3-6 months of expenses in an emergency fund and a separate $1,000 of “fast cash” in an account that you can get immediately. Ex: for a car repair
  • Interest rates fluctuate, so you don’t need to keep searching for where you will get the highest yield once you already have found one.
Life Kit – Investing for beginners
  • You need to be invested in the stock market! Stocks have a much better return than bonds and other investments. It isn’t a good idea to buy individual stocks; it’s almost impossible, even for professionals, to pick individual stocks that outperform the overall market. 80-90% of mutual fund managers fail at this!
  • Don’t buy individual stocks. Buy the entire stock market using index funds.
  • Don’t buy a bunch of stocks when performance goes up and sell stocks as soon as performance is down. Losing money feels painful but selling your stock at the bottom locks in those losses. If you don’t sell, you can ride the rollercoaster back up when the market recovers.
  • Make sure you aren’t paying much in fees! Fees are not charged as a separate line item. For example, 2% seems like a small number to pay in fees, but 2% off of a 5-10% return is a huge chunk. A 2% fee could eat up to 40% of your investment returns, which has a huge impact on how quickly your money accumulates. Many people don’t even know what fees they are paying.
  • Taken together, you shouldn’t be paying more than 0.15% in annual fees in your mix of index funds and other investments.
  • Passively managed index funds are the way to go. Ex: S&P 500. Index funds are far better off than actively managed alternatives. Look for lw-cost broad based index funds.
  • Vanguard is different than all of the other investment firms because it is structured as a nonprofit. Vanguard offers a range of index funds with very low fees. You don’t need to have an actively managed portfolio.
  • Rebalance your investments at least once a year. Sell what has gone up in value and buy what has gone down in value. Make sure your portfolio is where you want it to be.
  • Obsessing doesn’t help and is likely to lead to interventions that would be counterproductive. It’s really easy to let our emotions take over and make mistakes.
  • Don’t pay someone else to pick stocks for you.
Psych2Go – 12 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship
  1. You communicate openly. A great relationship starts with transparency.
  2. You argue. Arguing is sometimes healthy in a relationship; otherwise, you are likely bottling up your feelings and letting them turn into resentment.
  3. You keep relationship details private. You don’t post your relationship problems on social media.
  4. You don’t hold grudges. Be sure to talk it out and learn to let go.
  5. You have realistic expectations. The perfect partner doesn’t exist. Healthy couples understand that the key to a long-lasting relationship is commitment, open communication, and compromise.
  6. You take time and space for yourself. You can have separate lives, interests, and friends and maintain your own sense of individuality outside of the relationship.
  7. You trust each other. You respect your partner’s decisions and feel secure.
  8. You enjoy spending time together. A healthy relationship means taking time out of your busy schedule to connect with your partner.
  9. You’re friends. Great couples share common interests, enjoy hanging out together, and making each other laugh.
  10. You make decisions together. Healthy relationships allow partners to have equal say. Compromise is key.
  11. You get intimate. Intimacy can mean different things. Show affection through love languages: gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, etc.
  12. You make each other better. Fixing is not the same as supporting. You love each other for who you are.

I really enjoyed this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/out-of-gas

Out Of Gas

March 5, 2024

When the car runs out of gas we don’t call the car broken. It just needs gas.

Same thing with us…when we’re out of gas we might feel broken but really we just need to be filled up.

The metaphor is easy to understand.

The hard part is knowing what fills you up and having the guts to make time for it.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts

February 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read four books in February 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to being busy with a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in February 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Her Honor: My Life on the Bench … What Works, What’s Broken, and How to Change It” was written by LaDoris H. Cordell, a legal commentator and police-reform advocate who is a frequent guest on news outlets and served as the first African American woman jurist in Northern California. This book was very comprehensive and educational, and I learned SO much!

This review sums up my interpretation perfectly:

A brave, profound, and affecting book that combines wisdom, candor, wit, and humanity in equal measure, Her Honor is a sterling embodiment of the meaning of judicial independence that should be required reading for law students and anyone interested in our system of justice.

Kathleen M. Sullivan, former dean of Stanford Law School

Here are five random facts I learned reading this book:

  • The Multi Ethnic Placement Act (MEPA) requires the states to diligently recruit foster and adoptive parents who reflect the race or ethnicity of those children needing foster care and adoptive homes.
  • The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) requires the Native Child’s Tribe to be notified as soon as any proceedings concerning the child’s welfare are filed in court, and the Tribe has the right to be present at proceedings.
  • Seven states do not require any legal grounds to recall a judge. All that is needed is to collect the required number of signatures of registered voters to place the recall on the ballot. Federal judges cannot be recalled, no matter how controversial their decisions are.
  • The general rule is that judges cannot publicly comment about pending cases. It is no small irony that an accused murderer can speak out in his defense, but the judge who presides over that case cannot.
  • Today, defendants accept plea bargains and plead guilty in nearly 98% of criminal cases in federal and state courts.

“Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital” was written by Elise Hu, a correspondent at host-at-large for NPR and the host of TED Talks Daily, the daily podcast from TED that’s downloaded a million times a day. Elise was the NPR bureau chief responsible for coverage of North Korea, South Korea, and Japan for nearly four years.

This review sums up my thoughts of this book:

Superbly researched and deeply insightful, Flawless is a timely, provocative, and fascinating must-read. Elise Hu masterfully blends an engrossing memoir about her experience as a foreigner, woman, and mother of girls in Seoul with a journalistic exploration of the disturbing forces behind K-beauty’s global rise.

Angie Kim

Here are three surprising take-aways from the book:

  • At high school graduation time in South Korea, students are commonly given cosmetic surgery gift certificates by their parents and grandparents, and dermatology and plastic surgery apps offer 50-70% discounts to recent high school grads for a three-pack of the most popular procedures for young Koreans: eyelid surgery, nose jobs, and Botox for facial contouring of the jawline.
  • Olive Young, like Sephora, is a one-stop shop for Korean skincare and cosmetics. In 2020, there were 1,259 Oliver Young stores in South Korea, roughly twice the number of Sephoras in the United States. Accounting for the population differences between the two countries, that means Koreans are roughly 6x more likely to encounter an Olive Young than an American is to encounter its equivalent!
  • South Korea leads the world in cosmetic procedures relative to its population.

“I’ll Fly Away” is a book of poems that paints an intimate portrait of Black life in America, written by Rudy Francisco, one of the most recognizable names in Spoken Word Poetry. Rudy is an Individual World Poetry Slam Champion and a National Poetry Slam Champion. He is my favorite slam poet.

Here are some of my favorite anecdotes from the poems:

“Sometimes I’m the mess. Sometimes I’m the broom – on my hardest days, I have to be both.”

“Have you ever noticed how much water hates to argue? How it molds itself into the shape of a pour, makes a home where it lands, but also never gives up its identity. As if to say, ‘Sure, I’ll stay but only if I can be myself.’ I think there is a lesson here.”

“The Peace Lily is a flower that can grow and survive even if it’s left in the shade. See? We don’t always choose our environment, but we can’t let that stop us from blooming.”

“There are people that you don’t know, who dislike you for things you never did. There are people who start wars but hide the declaration under their breath for years. They see you coming, stare from a safe distance, and launch a fleet of ships using only a glance.”

“How to Break Up With Your Phone” was an eye-opening book written by Catherine Price. Part of this book covered the negative impacts of phone usage and addiction, and the second part of this book covered a detailed 30-day plan to break the cycle of addiction to your phone. Although I have not yet done the 30-day plan, I learned a lot from this book and will implement some of the 30-day challenge tips.

The biggest tips from this book are to reframe the way you think about your phone. Every moment you spend on your phone is time you’re not spending doing other pleasurable things, whether that’s in-person relationships, practicing a hobby, reading a book, etc.

Ask yourself what you want to pay attention to. Our lives are what we pay attention to. Every time you reach for your phone, consider asking yourself: What for? What else? Why now?

Set yourself up for success. If you spend too much time on social media apps, uninstall them from your phone and make yourself use a computer to check social media. Disable notifications from apps and e-mail to prevent distractions. Establish rules about phone usage. Ex: no phones at the dinner table, no phone within an hour of waking up or going to bed, no phones while riding in an elevator, no phones on a daily walk, etc.

I really enjoyed all four of these books and will post about some of them in more detail on my blog sometime!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 29, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – Read a short book
  • If you are out of the habit of reading or feeling tired in general, read a short book. It can be just the thing to get you going.
  • Look for a short book to distract your mind from social media, boredom, sadness, etc.

I have been so busy and stressed with schoolwork this month and took nearly all month to read two books for fun. I decided to read a short book of poems as my third book to give myself a mental break, and I have ended the month reading four books. I think reading the short book gave me a mental break and momentum to read more.

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – This Therapy Strategy Will Help You Become the Person You Want to Be
  • Behave like the person you want to become.
  • If you change your behavior first, the feelings will follow. Changing your behavior can also change your thoughts because you train your brain to see yourself differently.
  • Want to feel happier? Ask if you are happy right now. Want to be more confident? Act as if you feel confident.
  • If you are battling depression, ask yourself what you might be doing differently today if you felt a bit better. Depression causes us to do things that reinforces depression, such as staying in bed. Anxiety causes us to avoid things that will ultimately help us solve a problem.
  • We do the things that reinforce how we are feeling. So when you feel angry, you’re more tempted to complain. When you feel anxious, you might pace back and forth and think about all of the things causing you to feel anxious.
  • Act as if you feel confident to help you feel confident. Pursue classes/learning/education to feel more confident about a topic. Confidence comes from facing your fears.
  • Act “as if.” When you feel low on energy, act as if you have energy. When you’re struggling with fear, act as if you feel brave. If you want to change your life, act like a mentally strong person. If you want more friends, act like a friendly person. Acting “as if” doesn’t mean you’re acting as a fake person; it just means you’re putting a certain aspect of your personality forward.
  • What kind of person do I want to be? What are some steps I could take right now to start acting more like that kind of person? How would it change my life?
  • How would I be acting right now if I felt better? Changing your behavior first shifts your emotions.
The Mel Robbins Podcast – 4 Easy Nighttime Habits to Feel Energized & Sleep Better
  • Pick your bedtime. What time do you need to be asleep if you wanted to get eight hours of sleep every night? In order to pick a bedtime, you need to know what time you truly need to wake up. Know how long your morning routine takes! Have a plan. What time do you really need to wake up in order to truly start your day on the right foot and do all the things you want/need to do in the morning?
  • The time you need to wake up is probably a half hour or hour earlier than you have been waking up. If you aren’t honest with yourself about what time you need to get up to give yourself the runway of time that you need, then before you have laid your head on the pillow tonight, you have already screwed up your morning routine.
  • Start by picking the time you need to wake up – the time you need to give yourself the runway, the time that would really allow you to do everything that you would like to do, and plan for eight hours of sleep to establish your bedtime. You need to be asleep for eight hours, so figure out how long it takes you to fall asleep and decide what time you need to get into bed to get eight hours of sleep!
  • If you don’t pick the right time to climb into bed, you will never actually be able to build a rock solid evening routine. Understanding what it takes to fall asleep and giving yourself that amount of time and building an evening routine that leads up to it is essential. Having a consistent bedtime and wakeup time will help you get better sleep and help you fall asleep faster. You will train your brain to be a better sleeper.
  • Clean up the mess so your morning is fresh. Empty the dishwasher/do the dishes, take out the trash if needed, clean up the counters, turn off the lights, clean up the things from today, and charge your phone/computer.
  • Once you’ve cleaned up the mess, take five minutes and set yourself up for the morning. If you’re going to exercise in the morning, lay out your clothes the night before. If you take supplements or vitamins in the morning, set them out the night before. If you’re bringing lunch to work, portion out your lunch. This eliminates decision fatigue and your morning routine will take less time.
  • Take five minutes for yourself. Before you give it to the television, social media, etc., give time to yourself. You can sit and be quiet, read a book, have a cup of tea, or do a skincare routine.
  • Tuck your phone in somewhere other than your bedside table or in your bed with you. It creates fragmented sleep, which impacts your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. You are more likely to stay up later in bed on your phone if it is near you.
  • Be intentional. Pick your bedtime and be very serious about it. Experiment with it until you settle into a consistent bedtime and give yourself a runway for your morning routine.

I am still struggling with setting a consistent evening routine/bedtime and morning routine. I know what I want to accomplish each morning, but often end up snoozing or sleeping through alarms. This is something I am working on! This podcast was a great reminder.

Inside Out Money – Smash or Pass? Common Financial Rules

This podcast covered common financial rules and whether the podcasters agree or disagree with them. Here are some of the insights.

Recommended:

  • Hold 3-6 months of expenses in cash in an emergency fund. Some people recommend 6-12 months of expenses in a high-yield savings account.
  • Save and invest at least 15-20% of your income in a high-yield savings account or in stocks/bonds.
  • 24/10 rule for buying a vehicle. Put down at least 20%, limit the car loan to no more than 4 years to avoid excessive interest, and spend no more than 10% of your gross income on transportation costs (car payment, gas, insurance, maintenance). If you have to drag out your car loan longer than four years to be able to afford it, you probably can’t afford it. The loan may be longer than the life of the car to you.
  • Only buy a used car to minimize the depreciation. Caveat: Only buy a new car if you can afford to buy it outright (no financing).

Common financial rules the podcasters do not recommend following and why:

  • Some people say your asset allocation of your investments should be 100 minus your age to determine the percentage of your portfolio that should be in stocks versus bonds. For a 40-year-old: 100 – 40 = 60% in stocks, 40% in bonds. Reasoning: That seems too high for a percentage of bonds and is not risky enough for long-term gains.
  • 50/30/20 rule for budgeting after taxes= 50% necessities, 30% for “wants”, 20% for financial goals (saving for retirement and paying off debt). Reasoning: It depends on your income. Sometimes housing and bills take up more than 50%. Try to save 20% minimum.
  • Gross monthly income (before taxes) – debt for housing shouldn’t be more than 28%. Debt-to-income ratio – no more than 36% of your total income should be going toward debts (car payments, credit card debt, student loans, etc.) Reasoning: 36% seems too high for debts.
  • Spend 3x your income on a house. Reasoning: It is overly simplistic and doesn’t take many factors into account. It depends on what interest rates are, how much debt you have, what the cost of living is, how much you’re putting down, etc.
  • Always put 20% down. Reasoning: That would limit many people from buying a house. If your interest rate is lower than a high-yield savings rate or lower than your investment returns, no need to put down 20%.
  • Cars should cost 10% of your annual income. So, if you make $50k, your car should be worth no more than $5,000. Reasoning: You wouldn’t be able to buy much of a car in that price range.
  • You should own a car for at least 10 years. It’s a solid rule. Reasoning: It isn’t advantageous to keep buying cars, but it may not work for everyone. Your needs may change.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 22, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast – 4 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Unrealistic Body Standards
  • Many women have an unrealistic standard for their body in the timeframe they want to achieve it. We aren’t aware of the timeframe it takes to get to that standard. Also, many people don’t want to give up the lifestyle they want to live to achieve that standard.
  • The standards we are holding our bodies to are incredibly toxic.
  • Are your standards too high? Are you wanting to see shredded abs, toned arms, and perfect legs? If so, why? Why do you want these things? What about these things will make you happier or better? You are enough the way you are.
  • Are you holding yourself to someone else’s standard? Your friend’s goals don’t need to be your goals. Your friend’s insecurities don’t need to be your insecurities. Hold yourself to your own standard. Holding yourself to someone else’s standard takes you away from your own goals.
  • Do you hold yourself to an unattainable standard? Many bodies photos and videos are edited and airbrushed and filtered, so you shouldn’t look at their bodies as a goal that is attainable. The workouts that influencers are posting about are often not the workouts they are doing to get the body they have. People wouldn’t watch the videos of their actual workouts because they aren’t as fun to watch or they wouldn’t want to watch all of them.
  • Are you holding yourself to an old standard of yourself? Ex: you think you need to be the same size or weight as you were at a certain point in your life. Your life can be drastically different now compared to then. It probably wouldn’t be good for you to get back to that place. As we age, our bodies should change. As we have children, our bodies are different, and that’s a good thing. Are you holding yourself to an old standard? Do you really want to go back to the mentality that came with that standard, or should you accept that you can have a healthier, better body with a better mindset?

Your body can change and you can actually be healthier, stronger, and more confident. You can feel better than you did before.

Talks at Google – Jason Derulo – Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream

This podcast covered tidbits from Jason Derulo’s book, “Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream.”

  • Jason Derulo reads the comments on his videos on social media and finds way to constructively apply them. Jason looks for any way to be better by choosing to pick apart comments and choosing what to change.
  • Even though Jason Derulo has gone independent and was able to get a platinum record as an independent artist, he still sees the value in having a team. Independent artists are not typically the most successful artists out there, although there are anomalies.
  • Jason wants readers to know that there’s so much joy within the journey. When people talk about hard work, they make it sound like a bad thing, but those struggles can be some of the best memories to look back on. Looking back at where you started and where you’ve come can be satisfying. Find something you are passionate about and find happiness within chasing that particular outcome. Just because it’s hard work doesn’t mean it’s not fun.
  • People love stories of someone rising. It’s never too late to change your path. Some people on TikTok are old and very popular.
Life Kit – How to be a ‘supercommunicator’
  • This podcast was based on the book “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg.
  • When we really connect with someone in conversation, it’s reflected in our bodies and our brains. Eye pupils start to dilate at the same rate, breath patterns start to match each other, heart rates start to match each other, and brain waves start to look like each other.
  • Communication is connection. In order to really connect, aim to have a learning conversation. Aim to learn about other perspectives in a conversation. Practice looping for understanding. Ask someone a question, listen to what they say, repeat back in your own words what you heard them say, and ask them if you got it right. Usually, the other person doesn’t know if we are listening or if we are just waiting for our turn to speak. By taking these steps, you will both trust each other more.
  • Matching isn’t as simple as mimicking someone’s body language.
  • Every discussion is made up of multiple different kinds of conversations: practical (solving problems or making plans), emotional (sharing how you are feeling and wanting them to empathize or listen, not solve a problem), and social (how we see each other in the context of society). Understand what kind of conversation you are having with someone and try to match.
  • Ask deep questions – questions about values, beliefs, or experiences. Their answers will tell you what type of conversation to have with them (practical, emotional, or social).
  • Prepare for conversations. Write down three topics you think you could discuss with strangers. Oftentimes, those topics won’t come up, but you can increase your confidence by being aware of them.
  • Almost any question that asks “why?” helps people open up. We are inviting the other person to explain who they are.
  • Be authentic. Supercommunicators tend to ask more questions, laugh more, and be authentic. If you say something that indicates you are struggling with something, they authentically listen to you and might share about themselves or ask questions about that.
Self Improvement Daily – “Be here now.”

“In a world that is busier, more distracting, and trying to hijack our attention more than ever, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be present. Rather than having a moment to ourselves waiting in a line, we compulsively check our emails. Rather than focusing on preparing our meal, we have a podcast or Youtube video on in the background.

But if we’re being honest, does constantly seeking stimulation and splitting our attention actually offer the quality we want in our lives?

There’s so much more dimension to the present moment than we allow ourselves to see. When we choose to be present, to be here now (and not off doing something else or with other thoughts in the back of our minds), we allow the moment to deliver everything it has to offer.”

This is something I am constantly working on. Some of my best moments of connection in friendships have been when we are without our phones or other distractions – when we forget about the time and all of the other things that could be competing for our attention. These moments are so rare in today’s society.

Take a moment to immerse yourself in the here and now and be present with what’s happening around you, or else you might be missing something magical.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 15, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Before Breakfast – Ask for the slideshow
  • When someone is happily telling you about something in their life, ask them to show you photos. They will be thrilled to do so, and you will learn more about them.
  • Ex: wedding, puppy, gardening, home renovations, vacation, etc.
  •  It shows you are truly interested in them. You aren’t looking for an excuse to get away. The small talk may become more interesting, as pictures tend to nudge storytelling. It will make the person feel more valued and give you more insight into their life.
Chasing Life – The Big Business Behind Weight Loss Drugs
  • U.S. healthcare providers wrote more than 9 million prescriptions for Wegovy and other drugs used for weight loss, and that was in the last three months of 2022 alone! Demand has gone up since then and is expected to increase even further.
  • Some medications have resulted in 22% weight loss (22% of body weight); prior drugs resulted in a weight loss of 5-10% at the most!
  • Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, Zepbound – Zepbound came onto the market after Thanksgiving and is going faster than any of the previous drugs we’ve seen in this class.
  • Price is $900-$1,300/month for these drugs – many people are having problems getting insurance coverage for these weight loss drugs.
  • Medicare and Medicaid have a ban on coverage of weight loss drugs. There has been federal legislation introduced that is trying to change that.
  • Some people are turning to compounded versions of these drugs.
  • Late last year, the U.S. FDA had seized thousands of units of counterfeit Ozempic. The FDA is sending letters to online sellers warning them to stop selling these knockoffs.
  • These weight loss drugs are an expensive drug that people take for the rest of their lives – great for the pharmaceutical market
  • If you stop taking the drugs, you will probably regain the weight lost.
  • Some companies worry that those on these weight loss drugs will purchase less food since they aren’t eating as much, and companies will be impacted.
  • Companies are coming out with pills instead of weekly injections. Companies are also looking into the fact that you can have muscle wasting when you lose weight so fast, so some companies are working on trying to support your muscles as you lose all of the weight through combination drugs.
  • Stigma – people think others taking the drug are “cheating” and “should be doing the hard work” – they are taking medicines that doctors have prescribed to them because they think they could benefit from it. Some doctors have said that patients not taking the drugs are “choosing to stay the weight they are” because they aren’t taking the drugs.
The Jordan Harbinger Show – Kashmir Hill – Is Privacy Dead in the Age of Facial Recognition?
The Future of You – The Discussion: ‘Your Face Belongs to Us’ with Kashmir Hill
  • These podcasts were based on the book “Your Face Belongs to Us” by Kashmir Hill. I haven’t read the book, but I found these podcasts intriguing. In a nutshell, the author’s take is that our face belongs to lots of people who want to get good at tracking and identifying us.
  • Clearview AI went out and scraped billions of photos from the public web from social media sites and did it without anyone’s consent, and their database has 30 billion photos. You can upload a photo of someone you don’t know to Clearview’s app and it will pull up all of the photos of them that appear on the internet and will show you their name, social media profiles, etc.
  • Clearview limits use of its app to police and law enforcement agencies. Clearview made money off of their database by selling it to police departments and thousands of agencies around the world. Originally, they wanted to sell it to companies, grocery stores, hotels, and airports.
  • Clearview can show you headshots you know about, but can also show you Flickr photos, photos where you’re in the background of someone else’s photo, etc.
  • Casinos use facial recognition to keep out card counters.
  • Airports and airlines use facial recognition.
  • Facecheck.id  – upload your face and see where else it appears on the internet.
  • Madison Square Garden installed facial recognition technology in 2018 for security threats. The owner, James Dolan, realized he could use the system to keep out his enemies, namely lawyers who work at law firms who have suits against him, who he doesn’t like because they cost him a lot of money. In the last year, they scraped lawyers’ photos from their firm’s websites and created a ban list of thousands of lawyers. When they try to get into a game or concert, they get turned away. An entire firm gets banned, not just the lawyer working on the case. They are banned until their firms drop the lawsuits against Madison Square Garden.
  • Some people say it’s illegal because they didn’t obtain consent from the people included in the database. They claim they are just “Google for faces” – they are taking public photos that are on the internet and organizing them by face and making them easier to find. They take public and private information and make it easier to sort through.
  • We love to post faces and tag people online on social media. We are essentially handing over a bunch of information that helps companies make their facial recognition technology better.
  • More people are posting privately on social media now. People who have posted publicly have had photos come back to haunt them, have given people access to photos and information they didn’t want them to have access to, and have been included in databases they didn’t consent to.

Regulations:

European Privacy Law – you can go to Clearview AI and give them your face and ID and request that they remove you from their database. The drawback is that keeping you out of the database requires them to keep your face to create a “block list” so that your photos don’t surface.

  • Illinois has a law where you can’t use people’s voiceprint, faceprint, or fingerprints without their consent. Many states don’t have laws like this.
  • There are so many questions raised with facial recognition and voiceprints and a lack of regulations. We are relying on the benevolence of technology companies and hoping that they make good decisions.
  • We can pass laws and regulations about the use of facial recognition.

How far is too far?

  • Facial recognition ends anonymity as we know it. Police using it within reason can be a good thing. Companies using it to keep out shoplifters can be a good thing. Maybe we don’t want companies using it to discriminate people based on where they work or because they are a government official or investigative journalist.
  •  How far will this go? Could stores use facial recognition to discriminate against those who have left a bad review previously, who support a different political party? etc.
  • Russia uses facial recognition technology to identify protestors there against the war in Ukraine and gives them tickets for unlawful assembly for gathering to protest the war. China has used facial recognition technology to target people who look like Muslims entering businesses. A public restroom in Beijing kept people from stealing toilet paper by requiring them to look at a facial recognition camera, gave them a certain amount of toilet paper, and they couldn’t get more for several minutes!

https://passionplanner.com/blogs/content/self-love-affirmations

With Valentine’s Day this week, I enjoyed reading these self-love affirmations, even though I have a loving husband. Here are some of my favorites.

Self-Love:

  • I am proud of who I am.
  • The beauty of the world is reflected in me.
  • I am enough.
  • I will speak my own Love Language to myself.

Confidence:

  • What I have to say is worthy of being heard. 
  • I am capable of great things. 
  • I am exactly who I am supposed to be at this moment in time.

Anxiety:

  • I will survive this moment, as I have survived them all before. 
  • I trust the process.

Success:

  • I trust the timing of my journey.
  • I define my own version of success. 
  • I am qualified and exceptional. 

Health:

  • I trust my body to know what it needs.
  • I know my body best.
  • I deserve rest.

Healing:

  • I grow through all that I go through.
  • I am the writer of my own story.
  • I am grateful for who I am becoming.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!