I read 3 books in April. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in April.
“Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You” was written by Meg Josephson, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist. This book is about releasing the belief that we need to neglect ourselves for the comfort of other people and included reflection questions after each chapter. I got so much out of this book. Here are some top takeaways:
- People-pleasing is a trauma response, not a personality trait. It is a survival strategy learned in unsafe environments – often in childhood. Growing up in emotionally volatile environments leads to overthinking, satisfying the threat, fear of disappointing others, and chronic self-blame. Hypervigilance shapes adult anxiety.
- Fawning is unconsciously moving toward, instead of away from, threatening relationships and situations. The fawn response is about becoming more appealing to the threat, being liked by the threat, satisfying the threat, and being helpful and agreeable to the threat so that you can feel safe. Particularly for women, we’re taught that our main role in life is to please, appease, and sacrifice our needs for the comfort of others.
- The irony is that, in an unconscious attempt to avoid abandonment, we end up abandoning ourselves. We disconnect from our own emotions, sensations, and needs. When you notice yourself fawning in a situation in which you don’t need to be, ask yourself: What emotion am I trying to protect myself from?
- Are you feeling resentment? That’s a good sign you’re fawning. Ask yourself: Do I have a need that isn’t getting met? Is there something I need to communicate?
Reconnect with yourself:
- What uncomfortable emotions am I avoiding?
- Who am I when I’m not being perceived?
- Am I saying yes because I want to or because I’m scared this person will be upset if I say no?
- What do I feel? What do I want? What do I need?
- Am I avoiding discomfort? Will avoidance prolong suffering?
- What is my intention in bringing this up: to be heard, a response, or change? What do I want to say and what do I need from this person or myself? If they don’t give me the validation I’m craving, can I give it to myself?
I highly recommend this book to chronic people-pleasers.
5 out of 5 stars
Pagan Kennedy’s “The Secret History of the Rape Kit” looks at the origins of a tool that feels like it should have always been part of forensic work. I went into it thinking I already understood the basics as part of my forensic science courses, but the story behind it is more surprising than I expected. At the center is Martha (Marty) Goddard, the woman who imagined and built the first real system for collecting evidence after sexual assault. Her name is not the one most people know, and this book explains why.
Goddard spent time in the Chicago crime lab in the 1970s and saw that sexual assault cases were not being handled with the same care as other crimes. She decided to change that, and in the mid-1970s, she met with police, talked with hospital administrators, trained nurses, raised money, and oversaw the development of what was arguably the first large-scale and comprehensive rape-kit system in the world.
Here are a few things that stayed with me:
- In 1978, Marty Goddard launched a pilot program and delivered kits to twenty-five hospitals in the Chicago area. Each kit included slides, swabs, and collection devices for hair and fingernails; a card for the victim with information about where to seek counselling and further medical services; forms that were signed by doctors, nurses, and police officers; and sealing tape and a pencil for writing on the slides. Everyone who handled the kit had to sign the box, which helped protect the chain of custody.
- Even though Goddard did the research, the design, the fundraising, and the national outreach, a male lab technician named Louis Vitullo became the person publicly credited with the invention. Goddard even agreed to put his name on the system because people trusted a male name more in that field.
- By 1985, the Vitullo kit was standard in major cities like New York and Chicago. That same year, Marty received a $99,000 grant from the U.S. Department of Justice to travel to 14 states and help them set up rape-kit systems. Marty’s method of reform included sending forensic scientists, prosecutors, and trained nurses to instruct hospital staff on how to collect evidence that would stand up in court.
- The kit existed long before DNA evidence was used in court. DNA did not become part of courtroom arguments until the late 1980s, which makes Goddard’s work feel even more ahead of its time.
Overall, this book gave me a better understanding of how the rape kit came to be and how easily women’s contributions can be pushed aside. It is a quick and interesting read, especially if you like learning about forensic history or true crime.
4 out of 5 stars
“The Jailhouse Lawyer” was written by Calvin Duncan and Sophie Cull. Calvin is the founder and director of the Light of Justice Program, which works to improve access to the courts for people who are incarcerated. He is also a former jailhouse lawyer at Angola Prison, and his work has contributed to major Supreme Court decisions, including Smith v. Cain and Ramos v. Louisiana. Sophie Cull is a criminal justice reform advocate who has written about the death penalty, life sentences, and prosecutorial misconduct. She is the cofounder of The Visiting Room Project, which created the largest collection of filmed interviews with people serving life without parole.
Calvin was 19 when he was incarcerated for a 1981 New Orleans murder he did not commit. He had an ineffective public defender and a key witness whose testimony was deeply compromised. At 21, he filed his first motion from prison, titled “Motion for a Law Book,” and that moment launched his self-taught legal career. He eventually became an inmate counsel at Angola and helped hundreds of other prisoners navigate their cases.
A few things stood out to me:
- Calvin had to fight for basic access to police reports and trial transcripts. Many times, he needed people on the outside to help him get even the simplest documents.
- In December 1991, the Louisiana Supreme Court finally clarified that District Attorney files were subject to public records requests once a conviction and sentence were final. This ruling opened doors that had been closed to him for years.
- After his exoneration in 2021, Calvin was accepted into law school and graduated at age sixty. His persistence is remarkable.
There were many troubling issues in Calvin’s case that eventually led to his conviction being overturned:
- the key eyewitness recanted and admitted she had lied under pressure
- police shaped witness statements to fit their theory
- information that could have helped Calvin was never shown to the jury
- no physical evidence connected him to the crime
- his defense attorney failed to investigate or challenge weak evidence
- new evidence showed Calvin could not have committed the crime
- the prosecution’s case was fragile and built on unreliable testimony
- legal advocates later brought forward the recantation, new evidence, and constitutional arguments that had been ignored for decades
- the court finally accepted that the combination of false testimony, ineffective counsel, and lack of evidence made the conviction unsound
This book was both intriguing and frustrating. It offers a close look at how wrongful convictions happen and how much work it takes to undo them. If you are interested in criminal justice reform or wrongful convictions, this book is worth reading.
4 out of 5 stars
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
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