My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self Care IRL – 7 Pieces of Advice That Will Change Your Mentality

Celebrate your unique journey. You are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Celebrate your flaws as part of your unique story.
Conquer the comparison game. Comparison steals your joy and peace.
Embrace the power of now. Understand the true value of now and embrace each moment. Find joy in the little things and live a life filled with purpose and passion.
Cultivate a grateful heart. Gratitude is a mindset. Train your mind to always see the good in something to bring yourself more joy and reduce your anxiety.

5. Transform fear into action. When you do something you’re fearful of, you will boost your confidence and growth.

6. Build a vibrant community. Surround yourself with people who support you, challenge you, and inspire you to be better.

7. Empower yourself. You have the power to change your life. You can overcome adversity and achieve greatness.

The Mel Robbins Podcast – The Science of Your Gut

Bloated vs. gaining weight.
- bloating= burping, farting, and/or constipation. When you’re bloated, your gut bacteria is off balance. The biggest tip when you are feeling bloated or distended is to not wear pants with buttons on them. Wear stretchy pants. Bloating can be caused by foods. Bloating can also happen when you’re swallowing a lot of air when eating too fast.
Foods that cause bloating in many people: brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, sparkling beverages, gluten, dairy, artificial sweeteners, sugar, and alcohol

The gold standard for food-related gut discomfort is an elimination diet followed by adding that item back to your diet to see if that is causing your bloating.
If you’re already bloated, don’t go for raw vegetables like cauliflower and broccoli. This will cause further bloating.
Ibuprofen or aspirin will make you more bloated if you’re already bloated.

Give your gut more rest than the (up to) 8 hours you’re sleeping. Stop eating at least 2-3 hours before bed to give your gut more time to rest. Try to aim for 12 hours a day of giving your gut a rest from food.
Morning routine to reduce bloating: fasting (have I fasted for 12 hours?), fitness (any type of fitness, such as a 30-minute walk), then fermented and fibrous foods
The best form of debloating is exercise. Exercising in sunlight produces short chain fatty acids.
Your first meal of the day is your best chance to improve your gut and hormonal health. A perfect breakfast would be something like yogurt, nuts, berries, and ginger tea. A tofu or egg scramble with veggies is also great. Ginger and peppermint (even as a tea) can make your gut bacteria happy.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty – 8 Strategies for Deeper Sleep & Boosting Your Energy All Day

Location has energy. Time has memory. When you do something in the same place at the same time every day, it becomes easier.
Take the tv out of your bedroom so that you are not using your bedroom as a space for being wired into something. It’s important to use your bed for only sleep and rest.
Your sleep is impacted by how you live when you’re awake. Slowly drink warm water first thing in the morning to kick off your digestive process.
Two hours before bed, lower the thermostat to between 60-70 degrees Fahrenheit. The temperature in your room impacts your sleep.

Cave-like darkness – blackout blinds and no lights. Darkness helps to stimulate the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps you fall asleep and stay asleep until you complete all sleeping cycles. Darkness promotes relaxation, which helps you fall asleep quickly. The brain is very sensitive and can detect even the slightest amount of light and stop the production of melatonin, which plays a huge role in helping you get quality sleep.
Circadian rhythm – when you get bright light in the morning, it can help you feel more alert during the day and helps you fall asleep faster in the evening. If you’re exposed to bright light within two hours of your bedtime, it can make you less sleepy and fall asleep later. Get exposure to sunlight within the first hour of waking up.
Getting a good mattress plays a role in quality sleep. Find the right material and support for you. 5-7 years is the average life of a mattress.

Yoga nidra + deep breathing exercises to lower your heart rate, your blood pressure, and stress levels to help you drift off to sleep
Know the best sleep positions. This chart is from Healthline.

Life Kit – How to make a better to-do list

Decide what matters to you in this moment. Come up with a big picture goal and consider the one thing that would make everything easier or better.
What do I want to be? What do I want to experience? What do I want to have?
Once you have a goal, break it down into actual steps and deadlines.

Decide whether you will have a paper or digital to-do list and hourly or daily or weekly layout.
Block out scheduled time for the task!
2-minute rule – if it takes less than two minutes, do it right then and there. Don’t add it to your list.

Limit your to-do list to four or five doable tasks at a time. Don’t add to it until you’ve checked something off.
Pick something to let go. When you choose what to fail at ahead of time, you’re really changing your mindset and won’t feel like you’re failing. You’ll see it as a reminder of your values in this moment and what you’ve committed to.
To-do lists exist to serve us.

Inside Out Money – Step-by-step path to grow wealth

Have some savings. Create a gap between your income and expenses.
Have 6 months of expenses in an emergency fund in a high-yield savings account.
Pay off all your debts except the mortgage.

Contribute up to the company match in your company’s 401k.
Once you’ve contributed up to the company match, contribute to a Roth IRA
Once you’ve contributed the maximum amount to the Roth IRA, go back to contributing to your employer’s 401k and work toward hitting the maximum contribution. Most people are not able to contribute the maximum due to their incomes/expenses. I am in this boat!
If you have maxed out your 401k for the year, max out your HSA account if you are eligible for an HSA.
If you have kids and are contributing to college expenses, contribute to a 529 plan. Some parents try to target around $200,000 total for funding a 529 (college plan)! Others don’t contribute to a 529 plan. That decision is up to you.
The next step is to pay off the mortgage.
Once the mortgage is paid off, open a taxable brokerage account. Invest in low-cost index funds across a broad market.

The podcaster discourages listeners from investing in target-date funds. There are very large bond mixes in them and they tend to be conservative in their allocations.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 15, 2023

June 15, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self Improvement Daily- Breaking Down Productivity

The word productivity is a combination of two words: productive activity. It’s to be active in productive ways. ‘Productive’ is simply having the high ability to produce. To produce what? Society and culture have taught us that we must always be thinking about producing results, revenue, and efficiencies. Can’t we also choose to produce joy, presence, mindfulness, and connection?

You get to decide for yourself what you want to produce. It’s your life, your time, and your attention. Productivity is actually just “doing the things you want to be doing.”

Productivity = Productive activity = Doing things that produce the results you want = Doing the things you want to be doing.

The next time you feel down on yourself for not checking things off of your never-ending to-do list over the weekend, reframe your mind and consider that productivity is doing the things you want to be doing. Resting and hanging out with friends could still be productive; you are taking care of yourself and growing strong relationships with people you care about. If that is what you want to be doing, you were productive!

Small Change – 10 Signs You Might Be Financially Immature

You act aggressively when someone asks you about your money.
You are dismissive of others’ success.
You spend when you are depressed.
You tend to look at the individual spending of your partner rather than simply being concerned with how much is being spent. If the “what” is more important than the amount, you may be financially immature.
You are unable to get excited by saving for a big goal. “We can’t do that. That’s crazy.”
You have avoided looking at a bank statement for months.
You fear tax time.
You gloat at parties about your investments that you haven’t actually made or lie about the investments you have.
You are too conscious about the brands you are wearing.
You use spending as a cure for boredom.

Savvy Psychologist- 6 skills of mindfulness you may be missing

Observe. Pay attention to your environment and your internal experiences without judgment. This entails wordless watching and being fully present in the moment, observing your thoughts and feelings as they come and go, and noticing the world around you without trying to change it. Use your five senses.
Describe. Put your observations into words. Describe your experiences objectively without adding your own interpretations or judgments. Describe your observations from your five senses.
Participate. Be fully present and engaged in the present moment. Let go of distractions and focus on the task at hand, whether that be work, hobbies, or relationships.
Non-judgmental stance. Accept yourself and others without judgment. Let go of the inner monologue and distorted interpretations. Instead, practice self-compassion and understanding. Cultivate an attitude of acceptance and openness. Let go of the evaluative judgments we often make.
One-mindfully. Focus on one moment, task, or thought at a time. Let go of distractions and multi-tasking and focus your attention on the present moment.
Effectiveness. Focus on what works in a given situation rather than what is “right or wrong.” Let go of rigid thinking and embrace a more flexible and adaptive mindset. Focus on the outcomes you want to achieve and explore different ways of achieving them. Do what works, not necessarily what you prefer.

FIRE the Family Podcast – 22 Actionable Ways to Invest in Yourself

Go to college. Don’t go into extreme debt to go to college. Be wise and research what your expected income will be before taking out several loans.
Join the military.
Go to a trade school.
Get a job. There’s no better way than to find out what you like and don’t like doing.
Learn how to cook. It increases your independence and reduces your expenses of eating out.
Learn how to exercise properly. You will feel better about yourself and your health, live longer, and improve your mental health.
Open a brokerage account. VTSAX is a great investment.
Join a local young-professional networking group.
Implement an every-dollar budget.
Ask your parents and grandparents for advice. Pick their brains and learn everything you can.
Find the person you want to spend your life with.
Get out there and fail. You learn from failing.
Run a half marathon. It requires a lot of discipline, preparation, and time.
Identify your mentors.
Develop an inner circle.
Cut out negativity. Set proper boundaries for yourself and your family.
Develop SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound).
Explore materialism and minimalism.
Continue to find ways to compete.
Practice not judging others. Then you will learn to stop judging yourself.
Start reading. Reading teaches your brain to exercise.
Start an online business.

Life Kit- Planning a trip? Here’s how to pack like a pro

You never need as much stuff as you think. Eliminate extra baggage before you leave.
Pack and then remove 1/3 of the things you pack.
Reduce the weight with lightweight versions of what you need and with items that serve multiple purposes.
Use packing cubes (lightweight, expandable, zip-up pouches that save space).
Lighten your load of liquid toiletries. There are solid versions of items that don’t weigh as much. Use powders, not pastes. Use dry shampoo instead of the real stuff. Leave liquids at home if you can. Most of the time, you can pick up the things you need while on the road, except the things you can’t find everywhere: sunscreen, bug spray, bug bite relief, hair conditioner, and tampons.
Do a simple scope out of your destination with reliable sources, not sponsored content.
Match your activity plans to the weather forecast. Check a destination’s average monthly weather patterns in advance.
Always have a rain jacket, umbrella, or something to cover your backpack.
When traveling for leisure, one main event each day is enough. Don’t overbook activities. Build complementary activities around it or leave room for discovery and the unexpected.

Self Care IRL- Listen to this if you are an overthinker

Recognize when you are actually overthinking. Identify the thoughts or situations that are triggering it. Shift your mind back to the present.

Journal. Writing down things can help you identify patterns in your thinking. Sometimes you can look back and see that you were overly concerned about something that didn’t end up mattering or turning out the way you worried it would.

Give yourself time to calm down and relax before addressing any situation. Try to immediately do things that help you to relax or bring you joy.

Talk to someone about the situation. Getting another perspective can help you see things more clearly. Talking about your overthinking can help reduce its frequency and intensity.

Learn to focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past or the future. This can help you be more aware of your thoughts and feelings.

Practice forgiveness for your past self. When we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of overthinking the past, we are stuck there and that prevents us from moving forward in a healthy way. Remember that you are a human first and you will make mistakes. Perfection does not exist. You deserve forgiveness.

Think positively for your future self. Think about all of the ways that things could go right. Expand on the beautiful possibilities and let those things lift you up. Reframe your mind when you are worried about what could go wrong, and think about what could go right.
Remember that overthinking has never helped us. It hasn’t been serving us the way we think it has.

I am currently reading “Keep Sharp” by Sanjay Gupta, a book about the brain and slowing cognitive decline. Here are some tidbits I have learned so far:

You probably know the five senses: sight (ophthalmoception), smell (olfacoception), taste (gustaoception), touch (tactioception), and hearing (audioception). There are six other senses processed in the brain that give us more data about the outside world:

proprioception: a sense of where your body parts are and what they’re doing
equilibrioception: a sense of balance/your internal GPS. This tells you if you’re sitting, standing, or lying down. It’s located in the inner ear.
nociception: a sense of pain.
themo(re)ception: a sense of temperature
chronoception: a sense of the passage of time
interoception: a sense of your internal needs, like hunger, thirst, and needing to use the bathroom

The 5 pillars of brain health:

Move – exercise; aerobic and nonaerobic
Discover – pick up a new hobby, do something new, or learn something new
Relax – unwind, engage in stress-reducing activities
Nourish – consuming certain foods like cold-water fish, whole grains, extra virgin olive oil, nuts and seeds, fibrous whole fruits and vegetables, while limiting foods high in sugar, saturated fat, and trans-fatty acids can help avoid memory and brain decline, protect the brain against disease, and maximize its performance
Connect – having a diverse social network can improve our brain’s plasticity and help preserve our cognitive abilities

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 1, 2023

June 1, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

One of the best things I’ve heard this week is from this podcast.

Optimal Relationships Daily- If You Want to Know if Someone is Worth Your Time, Use the Ted Lasso Rule

If you want a quick way to determine if someone is worth your time, are they curious? Do they ask your questions? If not, are they worth even getting to know?

Many people skip the small talk in favor of talking about themselves. They’re the ones missing out because they’re not being curious. Curiosity has been buried by ego.

Optimal Health Daily- Self-Care Ideas for Better Health and Nutrition by Danielle Omar

Thoroughly chew your food to improve digestion, engage the senses, and reduce energy intake.
Assess hunger and fullness to determine when it’s best for you to start and stop eating.
Reduce portion sizes and use smaller dishes to prevent overeating.
Eliminate distractions at mealtimes to better control food intake and focus on how food makes you feel.
Appreciate the food you’re eating without judgment and savor its appearance, smell, taste, and texture.
Eat foods that make you feel good.
Plan and prep your meals.
Satisfy your sweet tooth.

I gathered some dental insights from these two podcasts:

Science Vs – The Dentist: Toss the Floss? Flush the Brush?

Oral hygiene alone did not prevent cavities in studies done. Fluoride was the main component in preventing cavities.
Brushing with fluoridated toothpaste helps prevent cavities. Brushing might also prevent gingivitis and gum disease. Flossing may help with tooth loss as you get older. Sugar is bad for teeth. Some dentists are shysters.

Life Kit- ‘Do I really need to floss?’ and other common questions about dental care

Finding a dentist is more than just picking from a list. Every procedure that a dental hygienist does is proactive in helping to prevent inflammation and reduce inflammation. A dentist is going to restore or be reactive to disease. A dental assistant assists the dentist.
To evaluate if a hygienist is a good fit for you, see how receptive they are to answering your questions. For example, ask about proper brushing techniques. Have the hygienists observe what you do and see what feedback you get. Overall, you want to make sure that the practice is for you, not a random cash grab.
Red flags- offices that do a lot of aggressive advertising, free x-rays, free exams, and free goodies to lure you in. Once you are in the chair, those dentists know you are more likely to say yes to extra procedures.
Get specific about your fears and then you can talk about them with your dental team. A good practitioner is going to be a great educator and help ease those fears. Is it going to hurt? Is it going to cost a lot? Is my face going to feel numb?
Find someone you feel comfortable with who doesn’t shame you.

Saving money:

Dental schools are a great option if you are looking to save money. You get the benefit of getting many different opinions and great advice. If you have the time to do it, visits to a dental school may be less expensive, but will take more time. Appointments can take up to 4 hours instead of 1 hour due to many people checking you out and the training involved.
Can look for sliding scale or mobile dental clinics

Frequency and technique:

Most healthy patients should come in 2x/year. Some patients may only need to come in once a year.
Clean teeth are all about technique. Use a soft, high-quality toothbrush (if manual, switch out every 4-6 weeks), non-nylon floss, tongue scraper, and low abrasive toothpaste.
Teeth whitening- health and aesthetics are not the same thing! White teeth are a status symbol, but not necessarily a marker of health. Teeth aren’t naturally white as snow; there is a slight yellow white hue of your teeth due to dentin, an inner layer of the tooth under enamel. So if a dentist is immediately bringing up whitening procedures without any evaluation of cavities, gum disease, or other issues, be wary.
Charcoal and whitening toothpastes are so abrasive that they can make your teeth super sensitive and potentially wear down your teeth. They are removing stains,but are not actually changing the color of your teeth.

Life Kit- Why the 5-minute walk break is so powerful

People who sit for hours on end develop chronic diseases, including diabetes, heart disease, dementia, and cancer at much higher rates than those who move throughout the day.
Taking a 1-2 minute walk once per hour lowers blood pressure. A 5-minute walk every half hour was able to offset a lot of the harms from sitting. Moving 5 minutes every hour resulted in the blood sugar spike after a meal being reduced by almost 60%. This may not be feasible with most office jobs, as you are losing 10 minutes of productivity each hour.
People are advised to get 150 minutes of moderate intensity physical activity each week (getting your heart rate up). You can break this up into 30 minutes a day 5 days a week, but small chunks of fast walking can count as well.
You will gain energy by moving every half hour or hour.
The whole point is to raise your heart rate—walking, dancing, etc.

Self Care IRL- Habits you have that you need to break TODAY!

Emotional eating– eating snacks and junk when you’re happy, sad, stressed, bored, etc. Be intentional with your eating and drink more water. Sometimes you think you’re hungry but you’re just thirsty.
Sitting for too long at one time– try to schedule a little break at the top of each hour to get up and move, use a sit-stand desk, etc. Boosts metabolism, reduces stress, and can create a more productive day
Hitting the snooze on your alarm clock. Go to sleep earlier than usual if you feel you’re not getting enough sleep each night.
Stop spending hours on social media. Daily social media users spend, on average, 2.5 hours on social media (including TikTok). It’s not always being used to relax or escape; it’s being used to procrastinate. Many people use social media to waste time. Limit your time on social media to 1 hour/day. You can use apps to monitor your social media intake. Instead of resorting to scrolling on social media with every spare moment, try reading, learning something from a podcast, moving around, or tackling something on your to-do list.
Working overtime. You give up family time, me time, and sleep time, and your physical and mental health starts to decline. If you don’t NEED the money, set time boundaries with your work.
These habits are draining our energy and preventing us from reaching our true potential.

I am guilty of most of these! I am focusing on being more intentional with breaking or limiting these habits this month.

Self Improvement Daily- Mistaking Happiness for Pleasure

We are designed to seek immediate gratification. Our unconscious pattern is to do things that make us feel good in the moment, which often conflicts with what makes us feel good later.

Sometimes we overindulge in a meal because we enjoy the taste of delicious food, but we end up feeling sick to our stomach later. Sometimes we scroll on social media when we are bored or procrastinating, and we later regret how we used our time.

You can feel happiness and pleasure in a moment, but pleasure is concerned with the present moment and happiness is concerned with your core values, growth, development, and well-being.

If you can be more discerning between the two, happiness and pleasure, pursue happiness. It will lead to a much more enriching life where you feel good about who you are and how you’re filling your life with genuine joy.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- May 25, 2023

May 25, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self Improvement Daily- When You Are Your Own Friend

Let’s say you had a miscommunication, let someone down, and got defensive about it, or you got into a big fight with a family member. In your own head, you may get really critical and get upset that you didn’t have more emotional control. You tell yourself you’re an awful person.

Now look at the example from a different angle. Instead of you being the person involved in the fight that made a few mistakes, you’re a good friend of that person. After they tell you about the event and the circumstances around it, what would you say to them? You likely wouldn’t tell them how awful of a person they are. You would likely be supportive and encouraging. You’d highlight their best qualities and understand that this was an isolated incident.

This isn’t about a lack of taking responsibility for our actions. The point is that we are so quick to find the goodness and humanity in others and the flaws within ourselves. So the next time you catch yourself criticizing or going through self-deprecating thoughts, ask yourself this question – “What would I tell myself if I were my own friend?”

Self Care IRL- The 8 small steps you need to start your self-improvement journey

Do not change everything at once. Start with 1-3 small goals you can easily achieve. Ex: one healthy meal each day, walk 20 minutes every day, etc. You can increase and expand on your habits after a while. Progress is more important than perfection. Perfection does not exist.
Make a plan of action and actually stick to it. Staying focused and motivated requires discipline. Discipline requires planning. Take action every day, even if it’s just a small step.
Habit stacking. Ex: journal while drinking coffee. Listen to a podcast or watch tv while on the treadmill. Read while riding public transportation to work.
Celebrate your wins—both big and small. Every step forward is success. Share your wins with friends to add accountability.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You are bound to have setbacks along the way. Learn from your mistakes and keep going. Be patient with yourself. Progress takes time. Forgiving yourself is the ultimate flex in life. Practicing self-compassion is vital if you want to improve yourself.
Find your support system. It is crucial if you have goals in sight. Whether you need hands-on support or emotional support, knowing that someone is there to lift you up will be incredibly helpful for encouragement and accountability. The podcast host mentioned getting together with a group of people weekly or monthly on a Wednesday to discuss “Wednesday wins”–“wins” each person has had in the past week or month. Lift each other up and encourage each other.
Set goals for yourself. Document how soon you want to achieve it to determine a plan and how hard you need to work. Don’t feel overly committed to that number. Plans can change. Set weekly or monthly goals to track your progress just to see how far you have come.
Be patient and keep working toward your goals, even when things get tough. You will have setbacks.

TED Talks Daily- What makes a “good college” — and why it matters – Cecilia M. Orphan

We say we want colleges to be more equitable and more accessible. We tend to obsess over a tiny group of colleges most of us could never get into. It’s not because we aren’t smart enough. It’s because there isn’t enough space for all of us. They intentionally cap the number of students that they accept.
Instead of calling them prestigious universities, some people refer to them as “highly rejective colleges” – Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, MIT, etc. These are all major research institutions.
Regional public universities (RPUs) are the exact opposite of highly rejective colleges. They pride themselves in accepting almost everyone who applies — students are more likely to be first-generation college students, students of color, low-income students, veterans, and adults balancing work and family while going to school. RPU students often don’t have the test scores required to get into a highly rejective college. It’s not that they aren’t capable; it’s because they weren’t given the same advantages as other students. RPUs change more lives than prestigious universities by allowing more students access to education.
People sometimes criticize RPUs and refer to them as “the 13^th grade,” “not real,” or “almost anyone can get in.”

The colleges that already have the largest endowments tend to receive the most charitable donations. Imagine if these donations were spread across the many RPUs in the country.
In the U.S. and throughout the world, far more public funding goes to highly rejective colleges than to regional public universities, causing RPUs to become more expensive, which hurts low-income students and causes student loan debt to skyrocket.
If we really want more low-income students to go to college and equity in higher education, we need to fund regional public universities. Instead of giving to your highly rejective alma mater, consider giving to universities that really need it.
Last year, billionaire philanthropist Mckenzie Scott gave $1.5 billion to 73 different colleges and universities that serve low-income students and students of color.
There is no better way to make a difference in higher education than to give to the colleges that change the lives of their students and communities. This isn’t all about money. We all have the power to change the way we think about and talk about regional public universities or stop people when they frame them in negative ways.

Life Kit- Making friends anywhere you move

Be active and intentional about making connections. Alert your network. Post on your socials and ask for introductions. Tell your coworkers, especially if you have a remote job. Communicate what kind of connection you’re looking for – someone to show you around, another couple with school-age kids, etc. We tend to think that it’s going to be so awkward to reach out to people who we aren’t in touch with anymore. You just have to own it.
Reconnect with old friends. You might end up better friends with them than before. Acknowledge the gap in time and that you haven’t been the best at keeping in touch. Propose specific plans for catching up. Follow up after meeting in person.
Incorporate more routine into your day. Ex: coffee shops. With routine, you are seeing the same faces and it becomes less intimidating to talk to them. You can incorporate any activity, community, or place you love. No matter where you live, you can develop that sense of home. Find a place for yourself that isn’t work and isn’t home: book club, soccer club, etc.
Find online groups, event listings, and meetups. Now is your chance to engage in an activity you’ve been thinking about. Ex: book clubs. You don’t have to know anyone there, but you can connect with others about the same book you’ve read. You meet regularly. Commit to showing up more than once. It changes the way you engage with people who are there. Stop trying to form a relationship with the collective and focus on forming relationships with the singular. It can be less intimidating to focus on individual members first.
When getting to know people, focus on the connection, not the relationship. Being honest about yourself is key to adult relationships. Get comfortable with the things that make you different and the interests that you have. If you are introverted, only say “yes” to the activities that you know will bring you joy. Focus your energy on one-on-one interactions. Making new friends takes effort, especially when you barely know anyone around you.
Take-aways: be open and intentional about making new friends. Tell your network that you’re moving or looking to meet people. Reconnect with old friends and acknowledge the passing of time. Make clear plans to meet. Build your own routines and find places you feel at ease. Go to group gatherings. For recurring groups, commit to going at least three times. Friendships start with one-on-one relationships. Remember that all of this takes time.

When I first moved to my city, I didn’t have any friends in the area aside from former coworkers. I am grateful to have met several girls in an online Facebook group for girls making friends. Through this group, I have joined a book club, hiking groups, and made many quality friends who share similar interests.

Optimal Finance Daily- Understanding the Seven Habits of Wealth by Rob Berger

Hard work– achieving financial security is often the result of consistent diligence.
Modest living– modest living can produce great wealth on a modest income.
Patience– produces thoughtful, long-term decisions that can produce wealth while minimizing risk. Patiently waiting for the right time to buy a stock or company
Perseverance– working through challenges. Perseverance keeps us focused on our goals and enables us to confront all challenges.
Balance– healthy balance of stocks, bonds, or other investments
Self-awareness– brings into focus the motivations behind the daily decisions we make. Allows us to understand what motivates us to spend money, what investments are best for us given our tolerance for risk, and what will produce contentment in our lives.
Learning– enables us to improve our careers, investments, and spending, as well as other areas of our lives

“What we are and what we have is a result of what we repeatedly do.” Wealth then, is not the result of an act, but the result of our habits.

How to Be a Better Human- How to set boundaries and find peace (w/ Nedra Glover Tawwab)

We want kids to be assertive, but we don’t teach them how to be assertive with us.
Pay attention to the things you complain most about. This will tell you where you need to set boundaries.
Many people right now are having boundary issues around being overwhelmed and overcommitting themselves. You can say no to things! People found pleasure during the pandemic by not having to attend social obligations. You don’t need to do those things if you don’t want to. Place value on the relationships that are important.
Trying to do everything on your own/not asking for help- there are times when we don’t have the skillset, time, or mental capacity to do it all. We need to seek help. It can be hard to be vulnerable and ask for help.
Codependency- thinking “if I did this, this person would suffer this consequence because of my lack of support for their issue.” Stop thinking like this!
Set boundaries, find peace!

I posted an extensive blog post about this book recently. Check it out here:

Main Accounts: The Story of MySpace- Welcome to MySpace

Popularity:

MySpace used to be the most popular website in America. It launched in August 2003. The creators, Tom Anderson and Chris Dewolfe, took inspiration from sites like Friendster and Asian Avenue. There were only 100,000 users in October 2003, but, the following year, after picking up dissatisfied Friendster users, the site exploded to 5 million users! MySpace peaked in 2008 with over 100 million users. At the height of its popularity, 250,000 people were signing up for new accounts every day. Most of the users were young – in their teens and twenties. It was at the center of their social lives.
In 2005, MySpace was seeing 16 million visitors per month and was the biggest social network in the world. It was sold to News Corporation, and Intermix negotiated the deal. This was done without the knowledge of the founders of MySpace. Chris and Tom were each paid $30 million. They left the company in 2009, and News Corporation brought in a new CEO and its own people.
When MySpace launched, social media was an unknown quantity. People had no idea how to make money off of social networks or even if they could make money off of it. The consequences of social media had yet to be seen.

Origins:

Tom Anderson had founded the company with Chris Dewolfe. Before MySpace, Tom had worked for Chris as a copywriter and product tester at another startup. Tom was a musician, went to film school, and dabbled in the hacker community as a teenager. MySpace does not have the typical Silicon Valley origin story.
While at Euniverse, Tom and Chris had at their disposal the company’s database of over 30 million e-mail addresses. The e-mails of everyone who signed up with a new MySpace account could be added to the database. MySpace was a subsidiary of its parent company, Intermix.

What set MySpace apart:

MySpace offered opportunities for people to express their creativity and meet people in ways that felt thrilling and scary at the time. People used MySpace in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to keep in touch with friends and family after they evacuated Louisiana. Soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan used it to connect with people back home. It was a place where millions of people could connect to one another. MySpace was one of many projects at the company EUniverse (an early ecommerce company). EUniverse was one of the few survivors of the dot com crash. EUniverse was later renamed Intermix.
On Friendster, users related to each other as a chain of connections. On MySpace, it didn’t really matter if your friends were strangers or actually friends. You added who you wanted and showed users who mattered to you by selecting users for your Top 8.
Top 8 created competition and encouraged users to curate their friends and spotlight people or bands that reflected on their personalities and personal tastes. From the glittery, sleezy design to the carefree way people communicated on it, MySpace felt like a party on the internet. People talked more casually on MySpace.
MySpace allowed you to tweak the HTML on your profile page so that you could change the color of the background, have a song playing while people looked at your page, etc. People put a lot of thought into it. Customizable pages (scrolling text, text that would blink, colorful texts, embedded music) allowed for self-expression.
MySpace was giving users free software. Previously, if you wanted to set up a website for yourself, you’d have to buy software. The way users were paying MySpace was with all of their data and information. The legacy of MySpace is the pioneering of this business model – of monetizing user data.
Another unique feature is that creator Tom Anderson was automatically everyone’s friend.

Why MySpace did not last:

MySpace was sold as “the perfect media company that generates free content through its users. It generates free traffic by its users inviting their friends, and all you have to do is sell the ads.”
MySpace was on track to be the biggest mass platform for advertising in the world. Facebook is the biggest single mass platform for advertising in the world. The lack of engineering expertise and talent and the lack of focus on abilities to outcompete on the actual quality of the product is what doomed MySpace to fail against Facebook. You have to have great engineering and great talent, and that is what made Facebook win. MySpace lost relevance because it couldn’t scale up to be mainstream like Facebook.
The social network felt chaotic and open in a free-for-all sense much like the city where it was created: Los Angeles. It sometimes felt like a cool nightclub. However massive it was, it was still youth-oriented. With various scenes and clicks, it felt very niche. MySpace was notable and big, but it wasn’t TikTok size.
People who were big on the platform could not scale out and achieve mass fame. The internet culture was not mass culture in the 2000s. They were sort of niche. All of this was happening before there was viral content and before algorithms filtered what users would see. There wasn’t a “for you” page. You had to find it yourself.

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/festival-walking

I loved Gabe The Bass Player’s post on May 16 (all credit to Gabe the Bass Player):

Festival Walking

May 16, 2023

“Summer. The height of the music festival season. The height of…

“Is this band any good? I’m going to decide right now as I walk past the stage for thirty seconds…”

It doesn’t matter if you’re a well established act or a new act. No one gets a pass. You get the time it takes for someone walking past the stage to be compelling enough for them to stay. You gotta be good.

The truth is…you’ve probably got thirty seconds but their question is answered within five. And that interaction is what they’ll carry with them forever and tell their friends about when your name comes up.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- May 11, 2023

May 11, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

https://ed.ted.com/lessons/debunking-the-myths-of-ocd-natascha-m-santos

There’s a common misconception that if you like to meticulously organize your things, keep your hands clean, or plan out your weekend to the last detail, you might be OCD. Many people use OCD as a joke and naively claim that they or others must have OCD.

Myth 1: Repetitive or ritualistic behaviors are synonymous with OCD.
- OCD has 2 aspects: intrusive thoughts, images, and/or impulses AND the behavioral compulsions people engage in to relieve the anxiety the obsessions cause.
- People affected have little or no control over their obsessive thoughts or behaviors and these thoughts or behaviors interfere with work, school, and a social life and cause significant distress.
Myth 2: The main symptom is obsessive handwashing.
- This is not always true. OCD can vary from fears of contamination and illness, preoccupation with numbers or patterns, excessive cleaning or double checking, and walking in predetermined patterns.

OCD sufferers report feeling crazy for their irrational thoughts, yet find it difficult to control their actions.

OCD is a neurobiological disorder in which brains of those impacted are hardwired to behave in a certain fashion.

Treatments include medications that increase serotonin in the brain, behavioral therapy that gradually desensitizes patients to their anxieties, and, as a last resort, electro compulsive therapy when OCD does not respond to other forms of treatment.

This is a compelling poem that covers the realities of having OCD. I’m a big fan of Neil Hilborn.

Self Care IRL- Ten polite ways to say no to someone

We are afraid of hurting feelings when we say no. Many people are chronic people-pleasers. Yet, saying no is an essential part of your self-care and emotional well-being.

Just be honest, but remember to be gentle. “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I have other commitments. I really appreciate the invitation.”
Try offering an alternative you’re comfortable with.
Use statements that begin with I. “I really appreciate the invitation, but I have some other commitments.” Don’t blame the other person for not considering your schedule.
Get in the habit of saying thank you. Make sure to express your appreciation sincerely.
Use humor to lighten the mood.
Be firm, but kind. Be direct, yet understanding.
Offer brief explanations if you want to.
Say no without apologizing! You don’t need to feel guilty for setting any boundaries. Be confident and assertive, yet respectful and kind.
Use the sandwich approach. Sandwich your refusal/no between two positive statements. Show you still value and appreciate them.
Practice saying no. Set boundaries and stick to them. Prioritize your needs.

Radio Headspace- The Ingredients of Our Lives

When we cook, we don’t try to change ingredients – we simply use what we have been given.
The flavors of our lives are unique and certain ingredients are needed at certain times. The more you fixate on things you don’t have, the more upset you get.
Look at what you have to work with and try to make the most of it. Be at peace with what’s going on. Life ebbs and flows. Sometimes our ingredients are bountiful and sometimes the pantry is pretty bare.
Too much of anything can be detrimental. Sometimes your mind can make it seem like you don’t have enough of the right ingredients. You might be caught up in the trap of wanting more friends, more money, more recognition. Have you ever accidentally added too much salt to a dish? You can’t salvage it. The invitation here is to trust what you’ve been given and find contentment with what you have.
We can literally clean our homes and our kitchen. Sometimes having a decluttered space can help declutter our minds. When our home is clean, we feel clear, connected, and at ease.

Optimal Living Daily- 10 Unconventional Habits to Live Distraction-Less by Joshua Becker

Our world has become a constant feed of breaking news, information, and entertainment. Breaking news breaks into our day at breakneck speed, and we are fed messages relentlessly from advertisements on nearly every flat surface.

Turn off smart phone notifications. Our smart phones are one of the greatest sources of distraction in our lives. The average person touches his or her phone 2,617 times every day! 😲 To limit the distracted nature of your smartphone, turn off all non-essential notifications: social media, e-mails, gaming, etc.
Read and answer e-mail only twice each day. Schedule your e-mail processing to limit incoming distraction.
Complete 1-2 minute projects immediately to live with less distraction.
Remove physical clutter. Clutter is a significant form of visual distraction. Everything in our eyesight pulls at our attention and the more we remove, the less visual stress and distraction we experience. Clear your desk, walls, counters, and home of unneeded distractions.
Clear visible, distracting digital clutter.
Accept and accentuate your personal rhythms. Figure out what works best for you. More mentally challenging tasks-morning. Easier tasks- evening.
Establish a healthy morning routine. The first hour is the rudder of the day. Begin your days on your terms apart from distraction. Develop a distraction-free morning routine.
Cancel cable or unplug the television. The average American watches 37-40 hours of television each week!
Keep a to-do list. No matter how hard you try to manage yourself, new responsibilities and opportunities will surface in your mind from internal and external sources. The opportunity to quickly write down the task allows it to be quickly discarded from your mind.
Care less about what other people think. There is no value in wasting mental energy over the negative criticism of those who only value their own self-interests. Stop living distracted over the opinion of people who don’t matter.

HBR IdeaCast- The Ins and Outs of the Influencer Industry

Influencers drive consumer trends.

The influencer industry dates back to the first decade of the 21^st century. When the recession happened, so many people turned to these new platforms that seemed promising to invent a new way of working. The early influencers usually worked in fashion and beauty and shared their ideas about a range of topics related to commercial industries like fashion and beauty.
In the beginning, it was mostly bloggers and Youtubers talking about topics that are near and dear to them in some way and creating content centered on their niche or professional expertise. They fell backwards into this work because it didn’t exist at the time. There was more truth to the narrative “we’re doing what we love/creating content of what we love.”
Once those early bloggers and influencers started to gain traction, advertisers recognized these early influencers as potential persuaders and offered branding details. After that initial wave, there was a crushing wave of people flocking to social media who also wanted to be an influencer.
Once the field became so saturated, it became about cultivating a sense of authenticity and presenting themselves in predictable ways to their audience members. It is getting harder to break through.

Influencers often identify themselves as entrepreneurs. They need to find a balance between authenticity, credibility, and drawing in endorsements to succeed. This balance is hard to attain and there are few and far between. Many influencers have chosen to leave all together or move into marketing because they don’t want to reveal many details of their personal lives.
There is a largely unseen sector of the influencer industry that are marketing middleman type firms that help brands connect to the right influencers for them. Brands can get access to databases and search key words/stats/content specialties and engage with them in a transactional way. Brands can also post a campaign looking for influencers.

A big criticism of the influencer industry is that those who rise to a high level of prominence are predominantly fairly wealthy white young women.
Despite the popular narrative of the influencer industry as being all about doing what you love, following your passion, democratizing culture…it is not free of these biases and problems that plague society. While there has been more awareness of this in recent years, there is still so much work to be done.
One of the prevailing problems is that there is little to no transparency in how these deals are being made, what the pay is, what type of content is worth how much, etc. There is even a large variance among different influencers for the same deals.

Most companies that engage in influencer marketing rely on the advice of marketing agencies they use to ensure they are getting their money’s worth.
Using an authentic niche influencer is generally better than paying a high-level celebrity for an endorsement.
The Walmart spotlight program is the largest and highest profile program. It essentially incentivizes Walmart employees to post about their time working at Walmart, share online a day in the life of working at Walmart, new products, etc. They reward employees who do it really well with cash bonuses or a free product. Consider rewarding employees with influencer skills.
Some companies cultivate their regular customers as influencers by encouraging them to post about try-ons in dressing rooms, such as Banana Republic and Loft. There are ramifications, and some question why we are rewarding influencer-like behaviors and to what ends.

The role of broader economic precarity in this space (societal factors drive people to want to pursue this work- entrepreneur, professional autonomy), lasting impact on technological evolution of social media (we’ve come to expect commercialism in our feeds), and extreme adaptability (driven influencers who want to adapt to changing times and technologies can keep growing) signal that influencing will continue to exist and is here to stay.
Benefits– opportunities for entrepreneurialism, effective ways of getting media messages out there, networking, community
Drawbacks- rapid spread of misinformation, mental health toll

Advice for aspiring influencers: go into it with eyes wide open. Know that this is a line of work that is incredibly difficult. Although people can find great satisfaction and a solid income, it is not as common as popular narratives would lead you to believe. Go into it with the knowledge that, while you will be entrepreneurial, you are still beholden to other stakeholders and other people who have a vested interest in the work that you are doing.
Advice for those working for companies who want to tap into this industry: value influencers as professional colleagues instead of one-off engagement/transactional. Companies will find more value and satisfaction in a long-term relationship. Treat them as valued collaborators whom you pay fairly and work closely with.
Advice for consumers who are being bombarded by influencers: try to engage with a little bit of distance. Know that there is a range of pressures that influencers are navigating behind the scenes that shape the content that we see.
New book: The Influencer Industry: The Quest for Authenticity on Social Media by Emily Hund

One book I read this past week is “A Descending Spiral: Exposing the Dealth Penalty in 12 Essays” written by Marc Bookman. This was published by New Press, a nonprofit, public interest publisher. Marc Bookman is the executive director of the Atlantic Center for Capital Representation, a nonprofit that provides services for those facing possible execution.

Honestly, this book was eye-opening about the cruelty and injustice of the death penalty. The essays detailed problems with ineffective counsel, racist jurors and judges, anti-Semitism, prosecutorial misconduct, withholding exculpatory evidence about alternate suspects, ethical violations, false confessions, and mental illness. One case involved Andre Lee Thomas, who is currently on death row for stabbing his estranged wife and kids. Andre suffers from mental illness to the point where he removed both of his eyeballs in separate incidents and ingested one of them. 😲 Another issue with his case is that jurors who said they opposed interracial marriage were allowed to serve. Thomas is Black and his estranged wife was white. The U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear an appeal on this issue.

Other take-aways from this book:

Verdicts in capital cases are different than in all other cases in that the decision whether someone should live or die is a moral one, rather than factual or legal. A life-or-death sentencing decision in a capital case is the product of individual reflection. Each juror weighs the arguments for life imprisonment or execution on his or her own.

Some states require a unanimous vote by a jury and some don’t. Some states previously allowed judges to override a jury’s decision. In some cases, juries voted for life imprisonment and judges overrode their decision and sentenced defendants to be executed.

Serial murderers like Washington State’s Green River Killer, the Unabomber, and the Kansas BTK Killer are serving multiple life sentences after plea bargains, while those who choose to go to trial having committed far less egregious crimes often end up executed or on death row.

11% of DNA exonerations have also involved witness identifications that later proved to be incorrect, but prosecutors and judges are far less likely to acknowledge the possible injustice of a misidentification when there is no DNA to confirm it.

Reforms that have been suggested to reduce the risk of wrongful convictions include proceeding with investigative interrogation rather than confrontational interrogation, videotaping interrogations, and implementing special protections for juveniles and those with cognitive or psychological impairments. Many false confessions are the result of confrontational and coerced interrogations and mental illness.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- April 27, 2023

April 27, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Optimal Finance Daily- Rental Properties Pros and Cons by Andy Hill (Part 1)

Optimal Finance Daily- Rental Properties Pros and Cons by Andy Hill (Part 2)

Many people aspire to own rental properties to earn more money and often refer to rental properties as passive income. Here are the facts.

Pros:

Real estate can outperform index funds.
You can grow your income stream more quickly.
House hacking- some people are able to rent a room or area of their homes that covers much of their housing costs.
You can work with a property manager so that you don’t need to field late-night calls of issues.

Cons:

*REAL ESTATE INVESTING IS NOT PASSIVE.* You need to dedicate time to ensure you’re doing it right financially, legally, and ethically.
Taxes and insurance costs can be unpredictable.
Neighborhoods can be unpredictable. A changing neighborhood can make it difficult to lease your property and can change the type of tenants who want to live there.
Leverage requires increased risk. You need to really understand how your money is invested and how your properties are generating income.
Home values can drop in tough times. It’s nearly impossible to predict how the real estate market will move.

Self Care IRL- All the reasons we need to stop saying, “I’m sorry for your loss” + 8 Alternatives

“I’m sorry for your loss.” We see this commented on social media and hear this phrase frequently when a loved one dies. Most people don’t know what else to say, and this phrase is so overused that it can come across as insincere. Here are 8 excellent and genuine alternatives to “I’m sorry for your loss.”

3 things you can say IF YOU ARE WILLING TO HELP/FOLLOW THROUGH:

“I’m so sorry that you’re in pain right now, but I am here with you and for you. I am willing to help in any way I can. Is there anything that you can think of that you need right now?” Tip: be prepared to help if asked. Do not use this if you won’t follow through.

“I know there will be some challenges ahead for you. I want you to know that I’m here and I’m willing to help. Would it be okay if I call next week to check in?” Tip: actually call next week and follow through.

“I know there’s nothing I can say right now to make things better, but also, I know that having someone to talk to at times like this is really important, so if it’s okay, I’ll call you next week when things settle for you.” Tip: actually call next week.

5 things you can say that don’t require you to help or follow through:

“Your mom was an incredible person. I see so much of her in you. I’m keeping you in my thoughts.”

“Your friendship/relationship was so special. I’m saddened by the news. You’re in my thoughts.” The podcast host said this is a great remark for someone you mostly know on social media.

“May God continue to shine a light on the joyful memories you get to hold in your heart.”

“Sending big hugs your way and wishing you peace, joy, and comfort.” The podcast host said this is perfect for online empathy.

Adult Education- Health Disparities with Dr. Lisa Cooper

There are people in America who live on the same street who have very different access to healthcare. It is not just about $; it is about access and systems. This can include access to transportation, access to insurance, and access to networks and facilities covered by insurance.
Some neighborhoods where a lot of people of color live do not have access to supermarkets with many fresh fruits and vegetables, schools in these neighborhoods often don’t have the same investment, and oftentimes there are fewer businesses. These are all examples of possible health disparities.
Health disparities are avoidable differences in health among groups that have different levels of wealth, power, or prestige in society. They are unjust and unfair and can impact rural areas, women, people with disabilities, people in poverty, and minorities.

Stuff You Should Know- How Game Shows Work

The first game show was aired in 1938 Great Britain and was called Spelling Bee. It was an actual spelling bee.
If people are winning more $ than budgeted each episode, sometimes they are presented with lotto options, such as payouts over a number of years instead of all at once.
Bob Barker was a game show host from 1956-2007 (1956-1975 for Truth or Consequences + 1972-2007 for the Price is Right).

In 1991, there were 2 game shows still filming: Price is Right and Family Feud. Wheel of Fortune’s daytime show got the axe. Game shows came close to extinction, as they were replaced with daytime talk shows. The Price is Right and Family Feud never went away.
Game shows are cheap to produce, so you can find them in most countries around the world.
3,000 people try out for Wheel of Fortune every year and only 500 make the cut.
Being on a game show sounds exciting, but 5-6 episodes are usually filmed each day, so there is a lot of standing around (without access to your phone)!

Freakonomics Radio- The Most Interesting Fruit in the World

Something to ponder: In a grocery store, there are a wide variety of apples, almost all of which were grown in the United States. Yet, they are more expensive (per pound) than bananas. This is wild to think about considering that bananas in the United States are all imported and have been grown, picked, boxed, washed, and placed in ripening rooms in another country. Bananas are typically the cheapest fruits around!

In 1900, Americans were eating 1.5 million bunches of bananas per year. By 1910, Americans were eating 40 million bunches of bananas per year!

Sailing as an export mode of transportation was not fast enough to reliably keep bananas from over-ripening. In the 1930s, refrigerated trucks allowed for bulk importation of bananas in the United States.

There are over 1,000 varieties of bananas in the world. The first popular one in the United States was the Gros Michel banana, also known as the “Big Mike” banana. This was the most popular banana until the 1950s, when Panama Disease mostly wiped it out. Panama Disease is a fungus that causes the banana plant to wilt. The Gros Michel variety has been virtually extinct since the 1950s, but this variety is still grown in Uganda.

This is a photo of the Gros Michel variety:

Bananas used to have seeds, but the banana was made seed-free using banana hybrids! The Cavendish banana is a human invention.

After Panama Disease wiped out most of the Gros Michel variety, the most popular banana changed to the Cavendish banana, which is what most of us eat today. Although the Cavendish bananas only account for 50% of global banana production, the Cavendish banana takes up 99% of the banana export market. India is the highest producer of bananas. and Ecuador is the largest exporter of bananas.

Bananas were once advertised as “fruit in a germ-proof wrapper.’

Bananas are the fourth most important crop in the world, behind rice, wheat, and corn! 400 million people rely on bananas as a source of food or a source of income.

Earlier this week, I read “Kicked to the Curb: Where policy has failed our most vulnerable youth and the fight for a better tomorrow” written by Susan Lockwood Roberts. I learned so much and here is a summary of my thoughts.

This book was a very insightful, easy read. The author addressed the problems with the education system, especially in educating incarcerated youth using the same cookie-cutter approach used in the standard education system, yet with less funding. Under-performing youth are viewed as difficult and are often kicked to the curb, resulting in societal costs of unemployment, non-productivity in the workforce, and crime. Teachers often teach the way they were taught, and this does not usually work when teaching incarcerated children. Students who are at risk due to family relationships, aspiring to be a first-generation high school graduate, or poverty likely need relationships in order to succeed and may require a more individualized, targeted approach. The author worked in engaging policy problems and changing methodologies in order for children, teachers, and staff to succeed. Some of these programs included daily adult mentoring, work-based learning experiences, career exploration and goal setting, professional development for teachers so that they can shift the way they do things according to the backgrounds of the students, reforming curriculum and acquiring updated textbooks, and developing methods of engaging students using a variety of instructional strategies. The author acknowledges that progress has been made, but that more needs to be done.

When youth don’t finish high school, the path to a high school credential is through adult education, and adult education programs receive less than 10% of funding going to K-12 and less than 5% of what is spent to support higher education. As a result, fewer than 10% of the people who need adult education services can access them. As a society, we can’t figure out how to invest more money in education, but we don’t know about the $225 billion lost every year to low literacy and numeracy among our citizens. What do we value?

This blog post (https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/your-contribution) made me consider 3 questions we should ask ourselves frequently in our jobs and our lives. Say you want to make progress toward a goal, such as starting a daily habit or training for a marathon. Ask yourself these questions and reflect:

Are you content with your contribution (right now)?
Are you content with what you’re contributing (right now)?
What are you contributing (right now)?

TED Talks- Celeste Headlee- 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation

It used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to stick to the weather and our health. These days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects are not always safe either.

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening. Conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach. An important skill is being able to have a coherent and competent conversation.

Don’t multitask. Be fully present.
Don’t pontificate. Enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn. Sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.
Use open-ended questions. Start your questions with who, what, where, when, why, or how. This allows people a chance to think about the question and respond with a genuine response.
Go with the flow. Stories and ideas are going to come to you, but sometimes you need to let them go to fully listen to what the other person is saying.
If you don’t know, say that you don’t know. Talk should not be cheap.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs. All experiences are individual, and it is not always about you.
Try not to repeat yourself. It’s boring and condescending.
Stay out of the weeds. You don’t need to remember and present all of the details.
LISTEN. If your mouth is open, you’re not listening and learning. Listen first to understand, then to reply.
Be brief. Conversations should be short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.

All of this boils down to one sentence: Be interested in other people. Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and be prepared to be amazed.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- April 13, 2023

April 13, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Science Vs. – Weight Loss Meds: Is Ozempic a Miracle Drug?

Food, We Need to Talk- Ozempic- The “Magical” Weight Loss Drug

**I have not used Ozempic and am not authorized to make medical recommendations. I am simply reporting what I have learned.** Ozempic has been a popular topic in the news and social media lately, and I wanted to learn more about it. I have the following notes from the two podcasts:

Ozempic is a diabetes drug that also causes weight loss. Many people are using it strictly as a weight loss drug, resulting in a shortage due to an “unexpected increase in consumer demand.”
Ozempic has the lowest side effect profile and actually works. Side effects include nausea (after 5 months, 25% of people reported nausea) and GI issues. People have generally concluded that the side effects are worth it.
Wegovy was a popular weight loss drug, but during the pandemic, Wegovy faced supply chain issues for nearly one year, making Ozempic a popular alternative. Ozempic continues to be the most popular.
Many insurers won’t cover Ozempic unless diabetes has been diagnosed, but many people are willing to front the $1,200/month cost of Ozempic, especially celebrities.

The active ingredient in Ozempic is semaglutide, which works by inducing satiety. Ozempic reduces a consumer’s level of hunger and eliminates food cravings, resulting in people eating 1/4 to 1/3 less when taking Ozempic.

People who take this med will likely need to take this long-term. They gain most of their weight back when they stop taking the medication. Also, long-term effects have not been studied yet.

People are using Ozempic as a weight loss drug with great results. Some have lost 15-21% of their body weight!

It is important to continue exercising and having healthy habits even while taking a weight loss drug, and it is also emphasized that once people stop using Ozempic, they generally gain the weight back because their hunger levels and food cravings return to their normal levels pre-Ozempic.

The Daily Stoic- Don’t Make Assumptions

You don’t get a joke, so you say it’s not funny. You love your job, so you have no patience for people who complain about theirs. You’ve been successful, so you can’t understand why others struggle. Things that are different from your preferences are “weird.”

Our personal experiences make up a tiny percentage of the world, but a huge percentage of how we perceive the world.

A stoic tries not to jump to hasty judgments and puts their impressions up to the test. A stoic makes space for there to be other means of being, even the ways we don’t understand.

The Clever Girls Know Podcast- 9 Money Leaks Affecting Your Finances and How to Fix Them

Paying delivery fees. Before paying for shipping or delivery, Google search for free shipping or delivery codes!
Disposable products (water bottles, cutlery, paper towels). Use a reusable water bottle, pack your own utensils for your work lunches, and use rags or towels instead of paper towels.
Food waste. Buy only what you’re going to eat and cook. Meal prep. Freeze leftovers. Do an assessment of your food before shopping.
Bank fees (overdraft fees, ATM fees, account fees). Look for banks with overdraft protection, no account fees, and a wide network of free ATMs.
Subscriptions for products and services. Make sure you aren’t bulking up if not needed. Make sure you are using streaming services and other subscriptions. Cancel them if you aren’t.
Name brand products instead of generic. Often the generic products contain the same ingredients and taste the same.
Coffee and snack shops. Learn to make your own coffee or tea and buy the coffee beans or loose leaf tea your favorite shop uses. Keep snacks on hand.
Gym memberships- Are you getting your money’s worth? Cancel if you rarely go.
Unused insurance policies (vehicles). Do you still drive, or do you take public transportation? If you rarely drive, let your insurance know to see if you can get discounts on your premiums. If you never drive or rarely drive, you could consider selling your vehicle and taking public transportation or Uber/Lyft rides if that would be cheaper than paying for insurance and vehicle maintenance.

Self Care IRL- The best habits you should still hold onto post-pandemic

Learning and chasing new hobbies. Many people picked up a quarantine hobby.
Focus on supporting others (small businesses, healthcare workers, acts of kindness)
Embrace simplicity. You don’t always have to be doing something.
Make your home feel like home. You deserve to feel cozy and happy.
Taking care of yourself. Carve out space for you to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. You should be your #1 priority. Therapy, journaling, meditation, etc.
Spending more time in nature. Don’t make it so that you miss the calmness you were chasing during the pandemic. Go outside! Listen to the birds chirp. Go on a walk.
Not feeling guilty for spending a night in. Don’t feel pressured to go out. You can’t miss out on the time you spend with yourself.
Checking in on your loved ones. Random phone calls and video chats during the pandemic were at an all-time high. Remember when people called you just because?
Not going out or going to work if you feel sick. Listen to your body.

I have been reading “The Simple Path to Wealth” as part of a book club. This book emphasizes investing in VTSAX, Vanguard’s Total Stock Market Index Fund. I also read a blog post highlighting VTSAX for people who want to retire early:

https://www.ourrichjourney.com/post/5-reasons-why-vanguards-vtsax-index-fund-is-our-top-fire-investment

Some of the things I’ve learned:

The expense ratio is 0.04%, which is over 70% lower than the industry average!
VTSAX also beats around 80% of actively managed mutual funds, and you save money by not having to pay for an active manager.
VTSAX invests in the total stock market. Owning VTSAX allows an investor to own almost all of the companies trading in the U.S. stock market.
VTSAX constantly self-cleanses. There are inevitably companies that fail and companies that succeed. As soon as a company fails, it will drop off the stock market and won’t be tracked by VTSAX, so VTSAX will *never* go to zero.
VTSAX is easy, straightforward, and requires very little effort to understand.

I finished reading “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” written by Bronnie Ware. I was surprised to learn the top 5 regrets of the dying, and I was inspired to not have these same regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- April 6, 2023

April 6, 2023August 15, 2023 amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Psych2Go – 8 Daily Habits that Drain Your Energy

These daily habits can cause you to feel stressed, anxious, and exhausted:

looking on the negative side of life/being a pessimist
overthinking
living in the past and taking your focus off of the present moment
associating with negative people and drama
using social media to bring you down and fall into the comparison trap
having a poor diet
not exercising regularly
having an unhealthy or irregular sleep schedule

When a box of girl scout cookies is sold for $5.00, $1.50 goes to the bakery that made it and $3.50 stays local and is split between the regional troop and the troop you bought it from.

The career record is $180,000 boxes sold, resulting in a college scholarship. Girl scouts can increase sales by setting up a booth at a populated place, such as a supermarket parking lot. This results in more sales than going door-to-door.

In 2014, Girl Scouts started accepting credit cards using mobile card readers and began selling cookies online.

The pandemic resulted in fewer girls enrolling in Girl Scouts, supply chain issues, and labor shortages that made it harder for bakeries to produce cookies. The Scouts started using DoorDash to deliver cookies same-day!

DoorDash Partners with Girl Scouts of the USA to Offer Exclusive On-Demand Delivery as Girl Scout Cookie Season Kicks Off

Business lessons:

Each season, each scout commits to selling a specific # of boxes, and she gets to decide how many. The troop pays for the boxes upfront and the scout repays the troop with the money from the sales. If you have excess boxes because you didn’t sell as much as you committed to, you usually have to pay the troop, but sometimes you can swap flavors with cookie hubs.
The harsh realities of cookie season (competition, finance risk, supply chain issues, technological disruption) are a part of the commerce business. This presents a great opportunity to build business skills.

How I Built This with Guy Raz- Mark Cuban Cost Plus Drug Company

**I have not used Cost Plus Drug Company myself. I combined information from this June 2022 episode and this updated article:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshuacohen/2023/01/01/mark-cubans-cost-plus-drug-company-continues-to-revolutionize-generic-drug-pricing/

Mark Cuban got involved through a cold e-mail from a radiologist who was working on a compounding pharmacy that could sell pharmaceuticals for less. They spent four years working with manufacturers and regulatory agencies, and Mark subscribed to and read every report and article he could get his hands on regarding healthcare and pricing before starting costplusdrugs.com in January 2022.

In the standard U.S. market, the prices of pharmaceuticals are set by considering Medicare as a percentage of the retail price, insurance companies, rebates, paying pharmacy benefit managers, etc. Cost Plus Drugs (costplusdrugs.com) is transparent in pricing: 15% market from their cost + $3 for handling + $5 for shipping. They are able to keep costs low by eliminating all of the others involved in the standard insurance process, and they use True Pill as a pharmacy/fulfillment center.

Costplusdrugs.com offers over 800 generic drugs. The company/website is especially beneficial for those who are uninsured or those who have insurance but are in the high deductible phase. For many generic drugs, the co-payment can be higher than the actual price of the drug.

The challenge in getting this company to scale more has been getting manufacturers to sell to Cost Plus because they are afraid of the response they will get from insurance companies who also work with them. Cost Plus generally does not want to work with insurance companies because they want to be the low-cost provider of every drug they sell.

Financial Feminist- Life Insurance 101 with Ladder

Lessons learned about life insurance:

Index universal life insurance is a scam.
Life insurance is a selfless product. You are paying for something YOU will never benefit from.
The younger you are, the cheaper life insurance will be.
A good rule of thumb is to have 10x your salary to cover all of your liabilities. Most people are only covered for their salary.
Term life insurance (offered through many companies such as Ladder) is the most cost-effective because you are only covered for a certain amount of time. You can invest the difference you would save buying term life instead of whole life insurance. Whole life insurance is permanent and is 4-10x more expensive.
Life insurance should be used for insurance, not an investment. Investing should be used for investing!
When looking for life insurance coverage, look for good pricing, reviews, financial ratings, transparency, and what’s being added on as riders.
If you are a stay-at-home mom, you should still have life insurance because your partner will need $ to cover childcare in the event you pass away. If you take care of your parents, you need life insurance to cover expenses for care providers for them in the event you pass away. If you have any liabilities, you should have life insurance.
If you don’t have financial liabilities (mortgage, auto loans, etc.), debts, or kids, life insurance is not necessary.

Self Care IRL- 8 Bedtime Rituals for your Mind & Body

The things you do right before bed can determine whether you toss and turn for hours or get a good night’s sleep.

Before bed, list priority items to handle the next day.

When you think of things you need to do during the day, think about whether you will do them today, tomorrow, or another day and schedule them. Then when you’re in bed you won’t have a racing mind of everything you need to do.

Turn down the lights. Exposure to light causes your body to produce hormones that increase alertness. Don’t watch tv/use your computer/use your phone starting one hour before bedtime. Charge your phone in another room and use an actual alarm clock to wake you up.
Slow down. By 8 p.m., your body should be in wind-down mode. Ditch the late-night workouts and active activities. Devote your evening to gentler activities.
If you MUST, have a light snack or a treat. It doesn’t need to be something sweet. It can be something healthy but enjoyable to you—protein, a healthy carb, or chamomile tea
Apply a fragrance. Lavender is an age-old remedy for insomnia. You can use lavender oil/vanilla pillow sprays, a diffuser, or a cotton ball with lavender in your pillowcase.
Warm up. Raising your body temperature induces drowsiness. Take a hot bubble bath or slip under a heavy weighted blanket. A warm non-caffeinated beverage also works. Warm your body but keep your room cool.
Treat your aches and pains earlier in the day to prepare yourself for sleep.
Suspend all of your daily concerns. What if you get to bed on time but you lie awake worrying about credit card bills, tomorrow’s meeting, whether you watered your plants, called someone back, etc.> Let the day go and resolve to let go of distractions. You will sleep better if you can do this. If you are focusing on your breathing, your brain cannot simultaneously work overtime to worry.
Meditate or pray.

Good quality sleep protects your mental and physical health. Rely on bedtime rituals that will help you doze off faster and stay asleep all night long.

Radio Headspace- Life Without Practice

We can have such tunnel vision of wanting to be better that we can lose sight of where we started. Stop, pause, and reflect on how far you’ve come and the progress you’ve made. TWe tend to forget about what our life was like before we achieved x, y, and z.

Document everything. Keep a notebook to record your emotions and thoughts. This will serve as a reference for how far you’ve come. I have been keeping a One Line A Day journal for over three years. It is a five-year dated journal in which you can look back on what you wrote that particular day for up to five years. Each night, I write something about my day–something that brought joy to my day, something I struggled with, something I did that day, etc. It has been interesting looking back at some things I wrote years ago and comparing those entries to where I’m at now.

Remember that you are a human before anything else and all moments of your life are worthy of being celebrated.

Sometimes when I am reading a book and come across an unfamiliar word, I Google it right then and there. One word I came across this week was bespectacled:

be·spec·ta·cled

[bəˈspektəkəld]

ADJECTIVE

(of a person) wearing eyeglasses:

Ex: Mr. Merrick was a slim, quiet, bespectacled man.

I found this interesting because I have never heard anyone use that word!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Tag: #selfcareIRL

Thoughtful Thursday – December 7, 2023

Thoughtful Thursday – June 15, 2023

Thoughtful Thursday – June 1, 2023

Thoughtful Thursday- May 25, 2023

Festival Walking

Thoughtful Thursday- May 11, 2023

Thoughtful Thursday- April 27, 2023

Thoughtful Thursday- April 13, 2023

Thoughtful Thursday- April 6, 2023

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: