Tag: #personalgrowth

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – October 10, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self-Growth Nerds – The Power of Consistency: 5 Mindset Shifts for Achieving Your Dreams

  • Consistency – to show up again and again for what is important to you – working out, journaling, sharing a blog post, going to a comedy club monthly, etc.
  • Remove the pressure of perfection. Lower the bar of your expectations.
    • Show up and be consistent. Control what you can control but know that you won’t be perfect every time. Focus on showing up and trying your best.
    • What feels alive in me right now? What is something interesting I’ve seen or heard recently, and what’s the meaning in there?
  • Commit. Make a decision and be clear in what you’re committing to.
    • Know what it is you are committing to. Ex: run one mile each day, post one blog post each week, go on one outing per week, etc.
  • Don’t expect to be consistent in every single aspect of your life. Choose your priorities wisely. Be clear about why each choice is important and accept the grief that comes with loss.
    • Choose what lights you up rather than what makes sense. Choose something you really want to do.
  • Make it a part of your identity and find pride in that.
    • “I am someone who posts a podcast every week.” “I am someone who runs every day.” “I am someone who reads every day.” Etc.“I am becoming someone who _____.” “I am someone who ____ because ____.”
    • Choose a new identity today. Choose one thing to focus on and embody that new part of your identity.
  • Never beat yourself up. Decide what kind of boss you want to be to yourself. Firm, loving, forgiving.
  • Tips:
    • Put it on the calendar. If it’s not on the calendar, it’s probably not going to happen
    • Habit stack – ex: journal while drinking coffee, watch tv while walking on the treadmill, listen to a podcast while doing chores
    • Remove pain points. Think of convenience.
    • Get an accountability partner.

Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin – 10 Things Being a Therapist Taught Me About the Human Experience

  • Most people fear they’re not good enough. At the heart of almost every issue is the fear of not being good enough. This manifests in different ways. One person might become an overachiever, other people just don’t try, other people change who they are or act differently depending on who is around them because they want to feel accepted.
  • Everyone has secrets – mental health issues, addictions, childhood abuse, etc.
  • People’s inner worlds are often hidden. Many people believe that their thoughts and feelings would surprise even their closest friends and family.
  • The desire for connection is universal. Many people feel lonely in a crowded room.
  • Self-criticism is rampant. We are our own harshest critics and hold ourselves to impossible standards. Self-judgment leads to guilt and anxiety. Learn to reframe your inner dialogue and train your brain to think differently and have self-compassion.
  • Change is terrifying yet desired. We crave change to improve our lives, but we fear it because we hate uncertainty.
  • Vulnerability is both feared and desired. We all have a desire to be understood, yet fear keeps us from being vulnerable.
  • Emotional pain is often masked.
  • Past experiences shape present perceptions. Our behaviors and attitudes are shaped by things that happened to us in the past.
  • Hope is a powerful force.

Real Simple Tips – 6 Tips for Keeping Lips Moisturized

  • Don’t lick your lips. Licking your lips makes the problem worse. Enzymes in saliva can break down the delicate skin, leaving your lips even drier than before.
  • Avoid irritating products. Steer clear of products containing flavorings, fragrances, menthol, camphor, eucalyptus, and beeswax.
  • Use lip balm with SPF. SPF minimizes lip dryness while also curbing your potential for skin cancer and premature aging.
  • Layer your products. Lips benefit from a hybrid approach of hydration and moisturization. Ex: Blistex medicated lip balm + Vaseline or lip oil.
  • Reapply every two hours. This regular application is crucial since activities like licking your lips, kissing, eating, or drinking can wear away the product.
  • Try an intensive lip treatment weekly or biweekly. Ex: lip mask.

Life Kit – How to talk to your loved ones about misinformation

  • Start from a place of connection, not correction.
  • If it’s just a matter of not seeing eye to eye about an issue, it’s okay to opt out to preserve the relationship.
  • Try leading with compassion, love, and empathy.
  • Take time to understand why your loved one believes the misleading content. Be in conversation with them. Recognize that their experiences impact how they engage with what they read online and what they believe.
  • Talk about where you both get your information and why you find the sources to be trustworthy. What is the evidence? Check qualifications and conflicts of interest.
  • Identify points where you do agree. Be mindful of maintaining goodwill.
  • Realize that you aren’t here to change anyone’s core beliefs. You’re simply trying to address a piece of information that is not correct.
  • Correcting political misinformation doesn’t make much difference in how much people trust that source in the future or in how likely they are going to vote for a political candidate.
  • When you do attempt to correct misinformation, provide a detailed fact check. What is actually true?
  • Corrections to misinformation are worth repeating. Don’t expect things to change after one conversation.

With this year being an election year, misinformation is rampant. Use these tips to talk to your loved ones about misinformation or simply opt to not talk about different beliefs. Sometimes people are so strong in their opinions that no evidence you provide will change them, and it’s important to recognize and accept that.

I enjoyed this blog post from Seth’s Blog this week:

Everything costs

Everything costs

But not all costs are the same.

There are three kinds of costs that people get confused about, but understanding them, really understanding them–in your bones–unlocks opportunity.

Opportunity cost: If you eat the cupcakes, you can’t also eat the brownies. Every time we choose to do something, we’re choosing not to do something else.

Sunk costs: If you’ve invested time or money in something (a law degree, a piece of real estate, a bag of chips) that money is gone. All you have left is what you bought, and that is a gift… a gift from your former self. You don’t have to accept the gift if it’s no longer useful to you. Using a gift still has real opportunity cost, and if it’s keeping you from doing something better, walk away.

Marginal cost: How much extra does this decision cost? For a subscriber, the marginal cost of watching one more show on Netflix is zero. The service costs the same regardless of how many shows you watch. On the other hand, the marginal cost of a tuna sandwich is equal to what it costs to replace the ingredients. It makes sense to prefer things with a lower marginal cost if everything else is similar.

I’ve never encountered a person who was fully rational in making decisions on any of these three sorts of costs. That’s okay. But let’s do it on purpose.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – May 16, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Optimal Relationships Daily – 5 Reasons We Talk “At” Each Other And How to Listen
  • It’s easy to assume you know what your partner is going to say. Instead, stay curious.
  • You’re thinking about what you’re going to say and can barely wait for them to stop taking. Instead, stay in the moment.
  • You’re responding to their “tone” rather than listening to their words. Instead, ask for another approach.
  • You’re distracted by something else. Instead, give one another a heads up that you need their attention.
  • You can misread your partner’s motive or intent. Instead, ask questions and try to assume good intention.
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – Save on Home Insurance Amid Rising Costs and Coverage Hurdles
  • 7.4% of homeowners in the U.S. are uninsured (millions of people).
  • The average annual premium for home insurance across the U.S. has increased 6% year-over-year – much more than that in some areas. Ours doubled within two years.
  • Between 1980 and 1989, the U.S. saw 33 disasters that caused 1 billion dollars or more of damages. In 2023, there were 28 disasters that caused more than 1 billion dollars or more of damage in one year alone.
  • Inflation – cost of labor and materials – higher rebuilding costs=higher premiums
  • There are some companies that won’t insure homeowners in certain areas, such as Florida, Louisiana, and California.
  • As the cost of homeowners insurance continues to rise, more people will go uninsured. Homeowners who make less than $50k per year are twice as likely to be uninsured as those who make more than that. 22% of Native American homeowners, 14% of Latino homeowners, and 11% of Black homeowners go without home insurance. 35% of people who own manufactured homes are uninsured.
  • Homeowners are more likely to be uninsured if they live in rural areas, if they live in Houston/Miami metro areas, or if they live in New Mexico/Mississippi/Louisiana.
  • Shop around for homeowners’ insurance annually! Reach out to a local independent insurance agent.
  • Make sure that you have enough insurance. Inflation has caused the cost of materials to increase in recent years, so many people are underinsured. Read your insurance policy carefully to make sure you understand the coverage and limitations.
  • Look into what steps you can take to mitigate the risks you’re likely to face in your area – flood vents, fire-resistant siding, alarm system, etc.
  • Worst case scenario: consider relocating. Many people are finding they have no choice but to pack up and move to a place where they can afford to insure their homes.
Life Kit – Colorectal cancer rates are on the rise. Here’s what to know
  • Colorectal cancer is the first cause of cancer death in men and the second in women.
  • Most colorectal cancer starts out as a polyp and is highly curable when localized to the bowel. Surgery is the main way it is treated, and it leads to a cure in about 50% of cases.
  • The recommendation is to start getting colorectal cancer screenings at age 45. If you have a sibling or parent who has a history of colorectal cancer, you should start screening at age 35.
  • A colonoscopy is the gold standard screening tool and is recommended every ten years for those who don’t have an increased risk of colorectal cancer.
  • Another commonly used tool is a stool test: fecal immunochemical test (FIT). It detects small amounts of blood in the stool and is done annually.
  • Cologuard is a stool DNA test which detects blood and DNA changes that come from a cancerous or pre-cancerous polyp in the stool.
  • During a colonoscopy, a doctor inserts a scope with a camera into the rectum to see the entire colon. They can cut out polyps or abnormal tissues and send off biopsy tissues for analysis. It is not uncommon to find and remove several polyps during the procedure.
  • Prep for a colonoscopy: 24 hours clear liquid diet + laxative beverage to clear you out before the procedure.
  • A colonoscopy is a procedure that can find and eliminate the polyp that is the cancer!
  • Symptoms to watch out for: blood in stool, change in bowel habits, weight loss for no known reason, feeling of bloating/fullness/fatigue
  • Risk factors: lack of regular physical activity, a diet low in fruits and vegetables, a diet low in fiber, a diet with too much fat or too much processed meats, being overweight or obese, alcohol and tobacco use
Life Kit – Create the birthday you want to celebrate
  • If we want to celebrate our birthdays with joy, we need to take charge of our day and make it what we want. It’s up to you to be proactive about your birthday and to take the reigns on how you want your day to go.
    • For my birthday this year (May 10), I wanted a weekend away. My husband and I enjoyed a cave tour, mini golf, a picnic lunch, renting bikes and biking on a state trail, going out for supper, and relaxing in the evening.
  • There is no right or wrong way to celebrate your birthday. Think of your birthday as your own personal holiday, which requires some prep. If you want to, order tickets to a show, order a cake, etc. Communicate your vision to other people involved. Don’t wait for others to show up and make things happen for you.
  • Tell people it’s your birthday if you want to.
  • Buy yourself something you really want. Buy yourself a $1 scratch-off ticket.
  • If you hate your birthday, keep things simple. Take the day off if you can and choose something you want to do for yourself.
  • Small steps could mean buying a single slice of birthday cake, calling and catching up with a friend, journaling, etc.

Self Improvement Daily – Brutally Honest With Ourselves, Skillfully Honest With Others

The most impactful thing we can hear from ourselves is the direct, unbiased, unfiltered version of what’s going on. We often add fluff to mute the blow to protect us from anything that’s psychologically challenging. Don’t be so blunt that you become self-deprecating but give yourself grace as you accept the truth.

When dealing with others, there’s a lot more context that comes into play. The recipient must be open to hearing what you have to say if you want it to be effective. So navigating honesty more delicately allows the message to be less confrontational and more collaborative.

Be brutally honest with yourself and skillfully honest with others.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

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Thoughtful Thursday – April 11, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Optimal Finance Daily – 10 Money Questions Every Couple Must Answer

Note that these questions are for couples in serious long-term relationships. You and your partner may not agree on everything. It’s more important to work through conflicts and come to an understanding.

  1. What is your policy on loaning money to relatives? Are you supporting/do you plan to support any family members?
  2. How much money have you saved?
  3. How much debt do you have?
  4. Are you comfortable investing or do you prefer to keep your money in the bank?
  5. Are you a saver or spender?
  6. How do you feel about merging finances once we’re married? This question has a lot to do with the question about how much your partner has saved. If you’re the only saver, you may not want to merge finances.
  7. Do you have a budget…and can I see it?
  8. Will you support me if I choose not to work?
  9. What type of bill payer are you? Minimum payments/full bill upfront? Automatic bill pay/send via mail? Do you pay all bills on time?
  10. What is your dream, and how do you plan on paying for it?

I thought this podcast was very interesting and I wish I had known about these questions sooner. For full transparency, I did not/have not asked all of these questions, but I think it’s a great idea!

The Liz Moody Podcast – 10 Learnings From My Week At The Life-Changing Hoffman Process Personal Growth Retreat
  • When you are saying how you feel, use “I” instead of “you.” This helps the emotion and experience feel more personal.
  • If you are struggling to change, start with any action. Action is required for change. You can act yourself into a new way of thinking, but you can’t think yourself into a new way of action.
  • We are all human and we are all going through challenges, so stop judging other people. By judging others, you are paving those pathways in your brain that are primed for judgment, and you are priming yourself to judge yourself. When you notice you’re telling yourself a story about someone else in your head, talk to them and find out more about them.
  • Clarity is kind. Don’t beat around the bush.
  • In order to heal, we need to turn out instead of in. Involve other people instead of keeping to yourself. The power of community is vital to healing. You are not a burden. Reach out to people. Relationship bonds heal relationship wounds.
  • Fun is a key part of healing. Access connection, joy, and love. Healing doesn’t always need to be hard and not fun. You can enjoy the process of becoming the person that you want to be. You will get better results if the healing process is enjoyable, too.
  • Everything we see in others is typically also in us – “You spot it, you’ve got it.” In other people, we notice the things that we are most sensitive about or don’t like about ourselves as much. The traits we find most triggering in other people are usually things we are dealing with internally and things we are reacting to negatively within ourselves. When we notice positive attributes in other people, often those are positive traits we notice and value about ourselves.
  • Don’t forgive and forget. That sets you up for future hurt. Forgive and remember because holding on to it only hurts you. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies. The only person made prisoner by our resentment is ourselves.
  • When you impress people into liking you, it makes you feel inherently unlovable. It can make you feel that without those things, you wouldn’t be lovable or likable to people. If people only like you because of your status/your job, you may feel unlovable without your job. When we give people an arbitrary sense of status (ex: celebrities), we’re actually depriving them of their ability to be human and to feel lovable for who they authentically are.
    • When we don’t share what we do for work, the ways you identify your relationships with people are built on who you really are on the inside. You’re forced to present a raw version of yourself, and people will love you for you. You have worth outside of your job and the work that you do.
  • Be, do, have. How do you want to feel? How do you want to live? Let that influence what you do in the world and the choices you make. Those choices, as a result of the being and doing, will create the things that you have. You’ll have a different relationship with those things because you won’t need those things to be happy.
    • Be, do, have instead of do, have, be.

  • How do we help people who are different from one another experience a sense of belonging and support in the workplace?
    • Acknowledge that we all have some privilege. Ex: access to hot water, drinking water, etc. Being aware of our privilege helps us to see where we have access and ease, and access and ease give us power. What about me or my experience might someone look at and consider to be typical?
    • We need to be willing to recognize the differences in people and want to get to know them across those differences. Let me learn about your experiences so that I can develop empathy for you and gain perspective I wouldn’t otherwise have. Hear their stories, gain empathy, and broaden your view. Ex: interviews – how often do we dismiss candidates because we didn’t think they were a culture fit or they didn’t give us the exact example we wanted? What if we used their stories to evaluate where they have an opportunity to thrive and grow? Hear their circumstances and experiences.
    • Extend your privilege to others respectfully and impactfully in the ways you are able to.
    • Allyship can involve considering food allergies, accepting correction when you mispronounce someone’s name, left-handed scissors, etc. What do you have the ability to do to support others?

I really liked this blog post from Seth’s Blog this week:

Analyzing the last move

Analyzing the last move

“When the deal falls apart, or the team loses the game, or a partnership hits the rocks, it’s easy to focus our energy on what just happened.

“What if they had called a different play?”

This overlooks the real issue. It’s the first move, or the fifth, that led to this problem, not what happened at the last moment.

Creating the conditions for success is a very different project than finding a heroic move that saves the day.“

This post from Gabe the Bass Player also resonated with me this week. Often, we envy the successes, accomplishments, or belongings of others. Yet, we aren’t willing to do what it takes to obtain them.”

What Will You Give Up

April 9, 2024

“One of the hardest parts of getting to where we want to go is giving up the things that make us feel good in the short term…

It’s hard to give up scrolling

It’s hard to give up Netflix

It’s hard to give up scrolling Netflix

It’s hard to give up the peace and quiet that comes from not doing much…or doing the same old things.

It’s hard to give up the notion that people will understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

It’s hard to give up your norms

It’s hard to give up not rocking the boat

It’s hard to give up the security of your hard won reputation

The best way to get to the new place is by starting something new…and giving up something else is a great way to start.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – December 21, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Mary’s Cup of Tea – 5 Habits that Have Made Me a Better Person

In this episode, Mary reflects on the five habits that have made her a better person.

  • Reading – many people only “read” audiobooks or social media posts. Audiobooks often cause people to half-listen; they listen while doing something else. Reading books requires you to be fully present in reading. It forces yourself to slow down and process what you’re consuming rather than looking for the next best thing or next glamorous picture on social media. Reading makes you empathetic, thoughtful, conscientious, broadens your vocabulary, and allows you to understand and be understood because you have more words to describe something.

I can relate to this! In 2020, I started reading one book each month for knowledge or personal development. In 2021, I committed to reading 21+ minutes each day. In 2022, I read 30+ minutes each day and read 76 books (and took detailed notes about each one). This year, in 2023, I have read over 80 books so far. I have become more knowledgeable in a variety of topics, have experienced personal growth, have broadened my vocabulary, and have gained empathy and different perspectives.

  • Journaling – writing down things and looking back at them can make you realize that things weren’t as big of a deal as you thought, can help you brainstorm solutions, and can slow down your mind in the attention economy.

I also relate to this in a small way. I have been using my dated five-year One Line A Day journal for the past four years. I write a sentence or two about each day and am able to see what I wrote on that date over the course of five years. It has been interesting to read about my growth and life changes (careers, marriage, house hunting and home buying, etc.) and it is has often reminded me that the things I was stressing about turned out to not be such a big deal in the long run!

Photo courtesy of Buzzfeed

  • Singing and dancing randomly – fun, sparks creativity, happiness

I don’t do this often aside from singing in the car, but it sounds like a great idea to try!

  • Spending sober and cellphone-free time with loved ones – be fully present in mind, body, and spirit with those you love – swimming, playing board games, etc.

I love this idea. Two days ago, my Fitbit broke, and yesterday I spent time with friends (without my Fitbit and without my cell phone). I had so much fun and felt that I was fully present with them rather than worrying about what time it was, who was texting me, and what the latest notifications were. It was lovely!

  • Shopping second hand – buying things you want at a low price, buying quality items and saving money

I love a good deal on things that I actually want or need!

Healthy Beyond 40: 5-Step Method for Creating Lasting Healthy Habits for Weight Loss & Fitness
  • Think about your habit identity. Think about who you want to be and how your habits support that. Ex: “I want to be a healthy mom with patient, be present with my kids, and have energy.” That’s your habit identity.
  • What healthy habit will help support that identity? Focus on your fundamental needs: mindset, movement habits, or food freedom. Pick one habit out of one of those areas. Ex: meal prep.
  • Time – where are you going to find the time to do this? Plan out a schedule. Ex: meal prep on Sundays. Block out time to work on this habit.
  • Make a habit loop: cue, routine, and reward. Ex: the order you get ready in the morning. Idea: Any time you make a meal, cook extra protein for future meals.
  • Track your habits using a habit tracker. Slowly stack in new habits.
  • You probably have more time for habits than you think. Do a time inventory for at least one day. See how long you use your phone each day. Turn your phone off or disable notifications and remove distractions. Time block to get things done.

You can read about some of my habits and my habits journey here! I will post about my 2023 and 2024 habits at a later date! https://wordpress.com/post/readlearnshare.blog/44

Psych2Go on the GO – 8 Little Habits You Don’t Know Are Signs of Anxiety
  • Hair twirling
  • Picking at your skin – peeling skin, picking around nailbeds
  • Daydreaming or checking out mentally
  • Fidgeting or playing with something (tapping a pen/pencil)
  • Sleeping too little or too much
  • Being on social media too much
  • Talking too much or too little or arguing
  • Forgetfulness and lack of concentration
The Productive Woman – 10 Gifts to Give Yourself for the New Year
  • Time – give yourself the gift of time by simplifying your life, your schedule, and your space to leave more time for the things that matter to you. Evaluate whether your schedule and space are serving you.  Eliminate things that are using up your time that could better be spent on things that really matter to you.
    • Tangible gift: new planner, hiring help for tasks you don’t like to do (cleaning, yardwork)
  • Health – Often, when life is very full and we have several responsibilities and are taking care of everyone, the first thing we drop is taking care of ourselves. Schedule your medical, dental, and eye checkups. Carve out time to eat well, get enough sleep, and move your body every day. Evaluate your physical, mental, and emotional inputs and eliminate those that don’t contribute to your health and replace them with things that do.
    • Tangible gift: gym membership, personal trainer sessions, treadmill, fresh flowers, therapy sessions
  • Learning – be a life-long learner. Commit to setting aside time to learn something new each day or week. This can be through reading, podcasts, researching, or taking lessons.
    • Tangible gift: classes/lessons, conference, book
  • Perspective – learning to see things from a broader perspective is valuable for our well-being, our creativity and problem-solving abilities, our relationships, and our ability to resolve conflicts. Read or listen to something that comes from a different background or culture than yours. Have a conversation with someone you disagree with. Travel to a place different from where you live. Intentionally cultivate curiosity instead of judgment. Try the improv comedy technique: “yes, and…” You can dismantle limiting beliefs that have become habits of mind while cultivating the flexibility that will help you think creatively about future challenges.
    • Tangible gift: travel
  • Friendship – a strong support system. Be a support system for others. A life that matters most often matters in relation to other people. Schedule time to get together with friends. Pick up the phone and call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.
    • Tangible gift: planning activities with friends (classes, getaway, etc.).
  • Forgiveness – Harboring unforgiveness and resentment impairs our own quality of life and productivity. Let go of the burden of resentment or blame and choose to forgive others to enhance your quality of life and allow yourself to be more productive.
  • Peace – get rid of conflict, strife, anxiety, and fear. The stress of constantly conflicted or anxious thinking can impact our physical health. Give yourself the gift of peace for your well-being and to be more productive. Practice quietness of body and of mind. Meditation and reading can help. Teach yourself to accept what is instead of fighting and resisting against it.
    • Tangible gift: investing in a meditation app, signing up for a retreat
  • Joy – happy people are more productive. Recognize, seek, and foster moments of joy. Intentionally create a life based on your own values and priorities. Look for joy in the small things. Ex: the laughter of a small child, a sunset, a gathering of loved ones. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy.
    • Tangible gifts: arrange experiences that bring you joy
  • Adventure – make memories. Do one big adventure (a few hours) and one small adventure (one hour) each week or start by planning to do one new thing each month.
    • Tangible gifts: “Tranquility by Tuesday” book, set up an adventure somewhere new or try something new
  • Grace – give love, forgiveness, kindness, and peace. Give grace to yourself and others. Don’t be perfect; be real. Give yourself permission to not do everything. Never feel selfish for taking “you” time. Do one thing a day that you are proud of. Every day, look for something you are proud of in the people who are closest to you.
    • Tangible gift: buy yourself a piece of art that reminds you to extend grace.

I loved this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week! Are you setting your own deadlines? Are you in the driver’s seat of your life?

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/relying-on-deadlines

Relying On Deadlines

December 15, 2023

If deadlines are the only things that motivate you to get stuff done, then it pays to get better at setting and enforcing your own deadlines.

The alternative is waiting on other people to set deadlines for you. But then you’ll always be dependent on others for you to get your stuff done.

The problem is we hold the deadlines other people set for us as more valuable and important than our own promises to ourselves.

On the same note, this post on Seth’s Blog this week was a great reminder. We are in control of our lives and where we direct our attention.

Focusing attention is a skill

Focusing attention is a skill

Where we choose to direct our gaze determines not only what we learn or believe, but how we choose to see the world.

Typing is a skill. Juggling is a skill. So is project management.

It’s easy to overlook the fact that we can get better at what we think about, create and consume.

If we’re not happy with how external forces are stealing and redirecting our attention, we can change it.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 8, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Sad to Savage- Habits I Do On Vacation & Reflecting on Turning 26

In this episode, Shelby was reflecting on turning 26 and asked herself these reflection questions. I think these are great for anytime, especially for a personal growth mindset!

Ask yourself:

  • Who is she?
  • What does she say to herself?
  • How does she describe herself?
  • What does her day look like?
  • What are her daily habits?
  • Where does she live?
  • What does she do for work?
  • What does her work day look like?
  • What makes her feel good?
  • When does she work out?
  • How does she view nutrition?
  • Who does she surround herself with?
  • What are the daily choices that she makes?
  • What are the choices that she makes on the weekend?
  • What is she doing to get 1% better?
  • What is her favorite way to habit stack?
  • What is her morning routine?
  • What is her nighttime routine?
  • What is she working towards?
  • What are her top 3 goals, and what are 3 daily habits she can do to help her work towards those goals?
  • What is one area she wants to improve in?
Mental Performance Daily- How Are You vs. What Are You?

Instead of asking yourself how you are doing, ask what you are doing. What should I be doing right now? What is the best use of my time, energy, effort, and focus right now? How I am doing is hit or miss, up and down as part of the human condition. Asking yourself what you are doing is going to help you perform at an elite level; comparing what you are doing vs. what you should be doing.

Optimal Living Daily- Breaking the Dependency to My Phone by Mollie of This EverGreen Home
  • Use social media less frequently. Set a daily time limit. You can use apps to limit your screen time.
  • Check e-mail at designated times.
  • Track your app usage.
  • Find a home base for your phone so it isn’t always next to you.
  • Turn off notifications.
  • Begin a new behavior. Ex: instead of browsing on your phone, read a book.
  • Turn on do not disturb.
How to Be a Better Human- What we can learn from great salespeople (w/ Colin Coggins)

Everyone is either selling an idea, themselves, or a product or a service.

  • The greatest sellers on the planet create agency with the person they are speaking with so that they feel like they are part of the decision-making process.
  • Acknowledge what’s happening in real life. That’s what sales is about.
  • You want people to look for the good in you and believe in you. That doesn’t happen unless you can reciprocate that.
  • Realize that who people hope you are and who people expect you are are two different things. People hope you’re like them.
  • The next time you go into a meeting, spend three minutes thinking about three things that you could love about this person.
  • What you get paid to do and what you love doing aren’t always the same thing, but a lot of times there are areas in what you get paid to do that you do love – like the stuff you would do for free. Isolate what you love. See if you can delegate or avoid the things that you don’t love.
The Savvy Psychologist- 7 types of rest you’ve been missing

Physical rest (passive and active)– sleeping, napping, FOLLOW A SLEEP PROTOCOL/EVENING ROUTINE, stretching, yoga, breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, hot baths, massages. Watch out for signs that you need physical rest, such as lacking energy to make it through the day, feeling tired but having difficulty falling asleep, reliance on substances to give you energy, and depending on substances to give you more rest.

Mental rest– mental fatigue can result from a variety of things, including negative self-talk, rumination, anxious what-if thinking, being stuck in the past, and judgments. Signs that you may need mental rest include irritability and decreased frustration tolerance, avoiding activities, feeling like you’re in a mental fog throughout the day, and feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks. One way to ease the mental load is through good time management skills. Take into account not only the amount of time a task takes, but the emotional load it takes as well. Another way to give yourself mental rest is through meditation.

Emotional rest– where are you spending your emotional energy? Frustration, anxiety, inadequacy, sadness, annoyance, etc. Some signs you may be experiencing an emotional rest deficit include beating ourselves up for small mistakes, excessive worry or anxiety, feelings of self-doubt, and over apologizing. Be mindful of your environment and the things/people that drain you and restore you. Emotions are contagious. Modify your environments the best you can. Emotional awareness is key to identifying emotional drains and emotional restores. Reduce the amount of social comparisons that you do.

Spiritual rest– organized religious practices, connecting with something greater than yourself, prayer, feeling a sense of belonging by getting involved with your community, meditation, things that bring you a sense of purpose and make you feel connected

Social rest– A social rest deficit occurs when we fail to differentiate between relationships that restore us and relationships that drain us. It can also occur when we are engaging in too much or too little social interaction. Signs you have a social rest deficit include feeling alone, feeling detached, finding it hard to maintain close relationships, isolating from others, or finding that you are attracted to those that mistreat you. Identify your social needs. If you are introverted and have a customer-facing job, allow yourself alone time to recharge at the end of the day. Listen to your social needs and stop comparing yourself to others. Be present and show up in your social networks. This will aid in deepening relationships and feeling more connected. Find like-minded individuals who share some of your hobbies. Join a group.

Sensory rest– giving your senses a break- overwhelming senses with constant stimuli. Spend some time away from your electronics. Read a physical book instead. Turn off the lights. Listen to your senses and give the ones that appear agitated a break.

Creative rest– if you’ve ever felt like you’re out of good ideas, you’ve experienced being creatively drained. Creativity is about our ability to be innovative, think outside the box, or be inventive. People require creative rest when they feel stuck, uninspired, and unable to generate new ideas or solutions to problems. The key here is to remove the requirement to produce and get involved with activities that inspire you. Make time for the things you don’t normally make time for to refill your creative cup.

How I Built This with Guy Raz- Angie’s Boomchickapop: Angie & Dan Bastian

I was eager to learn more about Angie’s Boomchickapop, as their sweet and salty kettle corn is my favorite store-bought popcorn!! They also originated in my home state of Minnesota.

Beginnings:

  • Neither Dan nor Angie ever had a particular love for popcorn initially. They needed a way to earn extra money to save for their kids’ college funds, and popping and selling kettle corn seemed like a reasonable way to do it. In 2001, after Dan saw an internet ad for kettle corn equipment, he convinced Angie that they should go for it. They started in their garage in Mankato, Minnesota.
  • They bought a kit using a 0% interest credit card. The kit included a tent, outdoor kettle, and table and paid $8k or $10k. Of note, the kit did not have instructions!
  • Dan was working as a teacher and Angie was working as a nurse at the time.
  • Rainbow Foods was the first place that allowed them to sell it (in front of the door outside) in November 2001. They were limited because they had to pop outdoors due to propane with the kettle. They took 1 hour to set up, bagged using twist-tie bags, and sold $300 of kettle corn.
  • Their business was originally called Kettle Corn Café.
  • Coworkers and students were surprised to see them on the weekends with their kettle corn business.

Growth:

  • In 2002, they started to sell outside of the Minnesota Vikings training camp and gave some free popcorn to the players.
  • The players loved it, but Dan and Angie realized that they would need to pay for a sponsorship fee to be the Minnesota Vikings’ preferred popcorn! They paid an $8k sponsorship fee.
  • Dan quit his job in 2003 after 2 years in the business to focus on the popcorn business.
  • Lunds and Byerlys was interested but wanted them to get their act together for selling. They needed to find a facility, different packaging, etc.
  • They bought a small kitchen 6 months later and moved operation indoors, got the kitchen licensed, and launched 6 months later with a new brand name: Angie’s.
  • They found 2 retired teachers willing to help out and paid $8 an hour for BOTH of them.

Challenges:

  • During their first 7 years, they were buried further and further into debt.
  • They weren’t profitable at first. They used funds to buy a trailer, a heater, and other items. Everything seemed to go back into the business.
  • In 2008, they had to get a million-dollar loan to get a bigger facility to ramp up production. They had debt and didn’t really have collateral and were turned down for a loan by many banks. They had about 20 employees at the time.
  • They eventually found a partner who gave them a line of credit using personal guarantees (home, future earnings – everything but the mini van).

Expansion:

  • In 2008, after years of persistence, they got into Trader Joes after sending products to a contact. Trader Joes put in an order for 25 trucks ($500k worth) that would be distributed across the country to Trader Joes. Jon and Angie didn’t have enough money to buy the materials for this order, so they ordered a new credit card with a $100k line of credit and requested an immediate wire transfer!
  • Due to popularity, Trader Joes came back with another order of 25 truckloads. The business needed to scale up quickly and hire more people.
  • In 2009, revenue was $3-$4 million.
  • In 2011, outside investment firm, Sherbrooke Capital, made an offer and acquired a majority stake in Angie’s.
  • In 2011, Angie’s was in the natural and organic snack section in Costco, Target, and regional grocery chains and was doing very well. Angie’s started with kettle corn but wanted to expand through providing different flavors, messaging, and branding.
  • Dan’s cell phone was on every package because that was the business phone and he received several phone calls at all hours asking if the product is gluten-free. So they decided to get certified gluten-free.
  • Also in 2011, they went to a branding agency to come up with a new name. Boomchickapop, the new name, launched in 2012. It was the first non-GMO branded popcorn on the market. The yellow bags of sea salt popcorn were the #1 selling SKU in four months – after 9 years of business.

$$$:

  • In 2014, TPG Growth, a private equity firm, bought out Sherbrooke. Boomchickapop equity shares became liquid to staff. They distributed millions of dollars! Between 2014 and 2017, Dan and Angie sold a big share of their ownership to TPG Growth.
  • In 2017, 16 years after the business started, ConAgra bought out Boomchickapop for $250 million! When ConAgra bought the company in 2017, they also acquired the old kettle originally bought in 2001.
  • They never imagined they would make it that far with their initial investment.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!