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August 2024 Reads

September 5, 2024 amybenoit

I read seven books in August 2024 – the most I have read in one month since starting school this year. Here is a brief synopsis of the books I read in August, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control” was written by Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist, write, and speaker and former therapist at Google. I got SO much out of this book and my notes covered the review pages for 2 books instead of 1! This book explored types of perfectionists, lessons learned, and strategies of coping with perfectionism. I will most more about this book in the future, but for now, here are a few lessons:

I am mostly a classic perfectionist (and partially a Parisian perfectionist). I value structure, consistency, predictability, an understanding of all the options so as to make an informed decision, high standards, objectivity, and clarity through organization. I don’t like disorder, I have difficulty adjusting to schedule changes, and I tend to experience spontaneity as stressful. Itinerary-centered existence can rob classic perfectionists of the opportunity to grow in a way that wasn’t planned or goal-oriented.
Right now, with all the things you have yet to achieve, you are as worthy of all the love, joy, dignity, freedom, and connection as you would be had you already achieved them. You are worthy of all these things because you exist.
There are many raw manifestations of perfectionism:
- emotional (want to experience a perfect emotional state)
- cognitive (want to understand perfectly)
- behavioral (want to behave perfectly in my roles and perform perfectly in my tasks)
- object (want external thing, such as desk, hair, etc. to exist in a perfect state)
- process (want process to begin, continue, and end perfectly)

5 out of 5 stars

“If my body could speak: poems” by Blythe Baird included poems mostly about rape and eating disorders. Here are some lines that stood out to me:

“If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story.”
“If your body could speak, would she forgive you?”
“One day after years of starving and gaining and fighting, I stepped on a scale and suddenly that number didn’t say anything about me…and that night nothing on my plate said anything about me either. Later, I got ice cream from a truck and I didn’t have to make myself earn it.”
“I found a way to heal through the poetry. The stage is the only place I could tell my story where it wasn’t a liability I was putting onto anyone. This stage is where i learned to stop hoarding my suffering.”
“Do not say you didn’t try. Remember: you did the best you could in the situation you were in with the materials you had.”

4 out of 5 stars

“Lessons Learned and Cherished: The Teacher Who Changed My Life” was compiled by Deborah Roberts, an award-winning ABC News journalist. This book was touching, although the stories seemed to have a specific format/agenda – nearly every essay mentioned that teachers are underpaid/underappreciated at the end of each essay.

Here are four of the lessons learned and cherished:

Every teacher has the potential to make a student feel connected, valued, and worthy. The greatest gift you can give is your full presence.
A difficult teacher can inspire you to persevere and believe in yourself. – Deborah Roberts
Teachers mean the world for a child’s development. Kids are not guaranteed a wonderful home base. Kids can be struggling with emotional distress or even violence, and their teachers can be the safe haven.
When a teacher believes in a student before they believe in themselves, they blossom. – Keri Shahidi

4 out of 5 stars

“Picturing Joy: Moments of Connection” was compiled by photographer George Lange. George’s work has appeared in many popular publications, and he has shot many of the iconic images from TV shows and ads for TV shows. This book was not quite what I expected. George shared stories of how he captured those moments. There were some great photos and interesting stories. Here are some takeaways from this book:

Photos are the artifacts of the experience a photographer creates. Photos reflect what he feels more than what he sees.
The role of a photographer is only to be hip enough to get in the room but not have to be the center of it. His approach is to create a space for people to reveal a part of themselves to him, and his intention is to find a way to put love out in the world.
“My time with subjects is often incredibly brief. A small window into a life I would never get to share without my camera.”

4 out of 5 stars

“To Hell With the Hustle” was written by Jefferson Bethke, the New York Times bestselling author of Jesus>Religion and It’s Not What You Think and host of The Real Life podcast. This book was not what I expected and seemed very scatterbrained, but there were some good takeaways. Here are some that resonated with me most.

When our work becomes who we are and we derive our ultimate value and meaning from it, it runs the risk of becoming our god – the thing we worship, bow down to, and become slaves of.
It’s time to stop and consider the cost of all this hustle, speed, and disillusionment. To hell with it – meaning we’re done and it comes from Hell. Jesus was never in a hurry. He was actively resisting cultural pressures on many levels. Hustle isn’t him.
Scripture doesn’t talk much about goals. It is focused on our identity and who we are becoming. Are we becoming more like Jesus by the practices and formations we are doing?
Have you ever noticed how a lot of Jesus’ miracles were not a part of his plan? They happened on his way somewhere else. You have to go at a pace that can be interrupted. That can be responsive to the moment in front of you.
The goal is “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” NOT “Well accomplished, my busy and hustled servant.” Well done. Faithful. If we want to get there, we have to actively resist the myriad voices and influences that subtly hypnotize us into a busier, noisier, more hustled lifestyle. Say no, that’s not the way of Jesus. That’s not the speed of Jesus. That’s not the cadence of Jesus. To hell with the hustle. I’ll take him instead.

4 out of 5 stars

“The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness” was written by Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Schulz, PhD. Robert Waldinger, MD is a professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Marc Schulz, PhD is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and a practicing therapist.

The Harvard Study of Adult Devlopment has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than 80 years – asking thousands of questions and taking hundreds of measurements to find out what really keeps people healthy and happy. I will post more about this book in the future, but for now, here are some lessons:

The good life is not a destination. It is the path itself and the people who are walking it with you.
Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.
An investment in our social fitness isn’t only an investment in our lives as they are now. It is an investment that will affect everything about how we live in the future. Like a tree needs water, relationships are living things and need attention and maintenance.
Curiosity goes a long way in relationships. It opens up avenues of conversation and knowledge and helps others feel understood and appreciated.

5 out of 5 stars

“Calling A Wolf A Wolf” consisted of poems by Kaveh Akbar. To be honest, I didn’t really like this collection. The format of the poems bothered me, and the phrases were scattered with no punctuation. Here is an example:

There were many poems about alcoholism, but the language didn’t make sense to me. Here are a few lines I liked:

What Seems Like Joy – “My father believed in gardens – delighting at burying each thing in its potential for growth. Some years the soil was so hard the water seeped down slower than the green seeped up. Still he’d say if you’re not happy in your own yard you won’t be happy anywhere.”

Portrait of the alcoholic floating in space with severed umbilicus – “I always hoped that when I died I would know why. My brother will be so sad he will tell his daughter I was better than I was. He will leave out my cruel drunk nights the wet mattresses my driving alone into cornfields unsure whether I’d drive out.”

“Now I listen for the sighs of people who love me, each agitation I create a reminder that I am less than constant in my grace.”

2 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

July 2024 Reads

August 11, 2024 amybenoit

I read three books in July 2024 – the fewest I have read in years. School kept me very occupied in July. Here is a brief synopsis of the three books I read in July, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“A Thousand Naked Strangers: A Paramedic’s Wild Ride to the Edge and Back” was written by Kevin Hazzard, who worked as a paramedic from 2004-2013. This book was fascinating and, as one reviewer put it, “gives us a deep, intimate portrait of the toll it takes to every day witness our most vulnerable moments.” Here are a handful of anecdotes that stood out to me:

In some areas, the education of an EMT – one of two people sent to save your life should the worst happen – is an eight-month certificate program. Medics/paramedics undergo an additional 18 months of training.

Memorable quotes:

“Anyone i need of extra cash, who’s been fired, or who is fresh out of jail or rehab can walk through First Med’s squeaky front door and find a spot on an ambulance.”

“This uniform conveys knowledge . . . the feeling is electric, being an insider, knowing that should anything happen, I’ll be the one called out to fix it.” “Medics don’t have to be heroic or tough or even good people. They simply have to enjoy the madness. Aside from a driver’s license and a high school diploma, that’s what this job takes.”

Sometimes the author felt like a Peeping Tom. “I want to explain that I’m here to have fun, to watch. A tourist . . . All of this is real. Except me. I’ve been sleepwalking through someone else’s life.”

“There will always be another dead body, another fetid roach-infested house. We will never escape the smells, the fluids, the unwashable ick of people deep in the throes of a communicable disease.” “I’ve slipped a hand under her head to check for head shots when her eyes pop open. I let go. Her eyes close. I press again. Her eyes open. There’s a firefighter riding with us, and we look at each other as it becomes clear: my finger has slipped through a bullet hole and into her skull, and whatever I’m poking in there is making her eyes open and close.“

4 out of 5 stars

“What’s Eating Us: Women, Food, and the Epidemic of Body Anxiety” was written by Cole Kazdin, a writer, performer, and four-time Emmy Award-winning television journalist. This was an educational, informative book that contained personal stories. Kirkus Reviews sums it up perfectly: “As much a personal story as an examination of body anxiety. Kazdin’s painful honesty is leavened with humor and irony.” I learned so much from this book and highly recommend it to anyone who may be struggling with their body image or may be dieting. I will post about this book in greater detail sometime, but for now, here are a handful of tidbits:

Thinking of foods as good or bad triggers eating disorders and disordered eating. An important part of developing a healthy relationship with food involves not demonizing or 100% eliminating any one food. Dieting is the most important predictor of developing an eating disorder. Nearly 30 million people in the United States suffer from eating disorders.
Failure is the business model for the weight loss industry, and companies rely on repeat customers who return after gaining back lost weight. The only way they can have repeat customers is if their product doesn’t work.
Most standard eating disorder treatments are behavioral therapy-based, focusing on changing behaviors rather than what underlies those behaviors. Chances are high that the root of the disorder will never be explored – thoughts and emotions linger long after treatment is over.

Author’s recommended questionnaire: Am I bingeing, making myself throw up, or using diuretics, including but not limited to any product with the word “detox” in the title? Am I restricting my food intake or eliminating a food in order to lose weight? Am I on any type of diet (Keto, Paleo, Weight Watchers, etc.)? Does exercise or food restriction dominate my life?
Various definitions of recovery: no more harmful behaviors, no dieting or wanting to go on a diet, a healthy relationship with movement, not being obsessed with food or your body, not thinking your body is something to fix or change

4 out of 5 stars

“The Courage of Compassion: A Journey from Judgment to Connection” was written by Robin Steinberg, founder of the Bail Project. Robin spent thirty-five years as a public defender. I read this book to learn more about other perspectives – “the other side.” This book was intriguing and helpful, and some of the stories within it were shocking. Here are several takeaways:

“What if your entire life were defined by the worst thing you ever did? And if we don’t want that for ourselves, then how can we do that to others?” We are all the products of a context and so much more than the sum of our mistakes. Compassion means to suffer together with another. Compassion begins when we accept that we are more than our own worst moment. It is an important lesson you understand when you love individuals who are deeply flawed or when you yourself have been judged on the basis of a single act.

According to the book, nearly 2/3 of people in jail on any given night are not even serving sentences. They are behind bars awaiting trial, mainly because they cannot afford cash bail. Further, according to the book, “the overwhelming majority of Americans who are booked into jails every year are dealing with issues of drug addiction, mental illness, and crushing poverty. We cannot incarcerate our way out of these social ills.”
“Years as a public defender had taught me that people don’t wake up one day and decide to commit horrendous violence. There is always a context, a history, experiences that pave the path to doing the unthinkable.”

“How can you defend ‘those people’?” – author’s response is the fundamental importance of the right to counsel, presumption of innocence, and genuine curiosity about how a person arrived at the present moment and the forces and events that shaped their circumstances. “Before you, there is a person whose entire life, worth, and character are being judged by prosecutors, judges, and society through the myopic lens of a single act. As a public defender, you must push past that paradigm and replace judgment with curiosity.”

The author believes three traits define most public defenders:

You love and have loved deeply flawed individuals, perhaps to your own detriment. We are the sum of our stories and new stories can always be written.
You have a healthy dose of mistrust for authority. You believe authority must be earned.
You were once probably idealistic about change and ready for the revolution.

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

June 2024 Reads

July 7, 2024 amybenoit

I read five books in June 2024. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in June 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics” by Lara Parker was educational and emotional. Lara is the writer and deputy editorial director at Buzzfeed, and she covered what it’s like to live with endometriosis, vaginismus, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis syndrome, pelvic floor dysfunction, etc. There were a lot of tidbits in this book. Here are a few take-aways that I am not uncomfortable sharing:

Endometriosis is, statistically speaking, as prevalent as diabetes in America. Endo is not easy to get a diagnosis for, as it requires laparoscopic surgery. Also, doctors often don’t take women’s pain seriously. Endometriosis is more than just a bad period; some other symptoms include abdominal swelling, trouble digesting, exhaustion, and painful sex. It is physically and mentally painful and there is no cure.
“Berating myself, blaming myself, and denying myself things simply because I felt as if all this pain was my fault has never made me feel any better.”
Author’s quotes on painful sex: “You can have sex and be intimate in different ways and none of those ways determine your worth in any relationship.” “The thing that ultimately helped me the most was reframing the way I thought about sex in general.”

I recommend this book to anyone who has endometriosis and/or other “vagina problems.”

4 out of 5 stars

“Stop Overthinking” was written by Nick Trenton and contained detailed and proven techniques to rewire your brain, control your thoughts, and change your mental habits. This book was helpful, but the author could have expanded on some strategies. I will post in more detail about this book in a future post. Here are some lessons:

Overthinking is when you excessively analyze, evaluate, ruminate, and worry about certain things to a point where it starts affecting your mental health because you simply can’t stop. The emotion behind much overthinking is fear – fear of being out of control, of being overwhelmed, of failure, of impending danger, etc.

4 A’s of stress management:

avoid – say no to stress that is unnecessary and harmful – situations and people that demand too much of us
alter – ask others to change their behavior – negotiate
accept – validate your emotions and practice forgiveness – change the way you frame events
adapt – make lasting changes to your worldview, goals, perception, and expectations – change yourself to better cope with life

Ask yourself: Is what you’re doing problem solving or rumination? If you’re ruminating, direct your attention to a single small action. If you’re going to spend all the energy thinking about the problem, at least put it to good use and find a way to improve things. If you can’t improve anything, then put your energy into distraction, forgiveness, or moving on.

This book covered several techniques! I recommend this book to anyone who is an overthinker.

4 out of 5 stars

“Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier” was written by Kevin Kelly. On his 68th birthday, Kevin began to write down for his young adult children some things he had learned that he wished he had known earlier. He had more to say than he thought, and he kept adding advice over the years, compiling his life’s wisdom into these pages. This book was a GEM of knowledge and advice!

When you keep people waiting, they begin to think of all your flaws.

Nothing elevates a person higher than taking responsibility for their mistakes. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is. This has been so true in my experiences!

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

Every person you meet knows an amazing lot about something you know virtually nothing about. It won’t be obvious, and your job is to discover what it is.

How to apologize: quickly, specifically, and sincerely. Don’t ruin an apology with an excuse.

I highly recommend this book to everyone! I will post more about it on a later date!

5 out of 5 stars

“One Decision Away: Key Principles to Create What You Want in Life and Work” was written by Paula Melo Doroff. This book was inspiring. Paula ran away at 15, arrived in the U.S. at 25, divorced 3 times, grew up in poverty, was raised by an illiterate grandmother, and only had a middle school education; this book affirms that your success doesn’t always come down to your family, your lucky breaks, or your wealth. Here are some main points:

You are just one decision away from completely altering the trajectory of your life. You can stay safe in your comfort zone and keep dreaming, or you can take the courageous step onto the path that will lead you to growth and take responsibility for what you truly want for your life.

To create the life you want, you need crystal clear dreams, realistic goals, and detailed plans to achieve those goals. Reflect: what is the one goal that would have the greatest impact on your life? Why is that goal important? What will you lose if you don’t follow the plan? What will you gain? What one action can you take today to move a step closer to your goal?
Sometimes we hold ourselves back in life because we don’t honor our dreams with goals to match. Sometimes, though, we might have a dream holding us back because the dream has outlived its purpose. Ex: a goal could still be permissible but not beneficial. Although you may feel betrayed by letting go of dreams, by releasing the dreams that no longer serve you, there is more space in your heart and mind for new possibilities. Don’t get stuck trying to fulfill a vision you’ve long outgrown.

I recommend this book for anyone wanting to learn about and reflect on creating the life they desire.

4 out of 5 stars

The fifth and final book I read in June was “In the Form of a Question: The Joys and Rewards of a Curious Life” written by Amy Schneider, the most successful woman ever to compete on Jeopardy! Amy walked away with $1.3 million on a 40-game winning streak, although she says she won an even greater prize: the joy of being herself on national television and leading the way for openly queer and transgender people around the world. Here are my thoughts about this book:

There were so many footnotes, and many of them were more like commentary than actual text. I think the footnotes could have been cut out or included in the actual text.
This book was not what I expected. I wanted to know more about her Jeopardy experience. Although I got a few gems of wisdom, this book mostly focused on Amy’s trans experiences (before and after the transition) and differing views than my own – ranging from condoning recreational drug use, polyamory, casual sex, criticisms of religion, and the promotion of tarot cards.

Two pieces of wisdom:

“The real answer to “How did you get so smart?” is simply this: I wanted to. And if you want to, you can do it, too. If you have the desire, not just to know but to understand, then you will grow more and more powerful every day, and nobody will be able to stop you.”

“Theater brings together people who, offstage, would find each other intolerable, and offers them each what they need. For the shy, it offers escape, concealment, and safety. For the confident, it offers attention, freedom, and validation. In theater, not only can you do the very things you fear the most, but you can do them with the very people who make you fear it.”

If you want to learn more about Amy’s intelligence and Jeopardy! journey, you won’t find much of that in this book. If you want to read more about Amy’s life and often controversial views, this book may be for you.

3 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

May 2024 Reads

June 4, 2024 amybenoit

I read four books in May 2024. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in May 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Becoming A Crime Scene Investigator” by Jacqueline Detwiler-George was an interesting overview of crime scene investigation and forensic science. Here are some of the main points covered in this book:

This job has many names: crime scene investigator, evidence technician, forensic investigator, crime scene technician, crime scene analyst, and crime scene examiner.
The science part of crime scene investigation involves knowing how to collect evidence so that it can be analyzed and deployed in court and knowing what to grab at the scene.
Crime scene investigators do not perform all of the functions they are depicted handling on tv. It is different everywhere. Some police/sheriff’s departments have their own crime labs, while others send all evidence to regional or state labs for processing.
Crime scene investigators used to be generalists. Now they specialize. Forensic analysts often collect master’s degrees and professional certifications.
Most standard crimes can be solved with a combination of photography, DNA evidence, serology, fingerprints, ballistics comparison, drug chemistry, and computer forensics.
- Less common: blood spatter analysis, trace evidence analysis, forensic anthropology, and questioned documents
A background in hard science and forensics can lead a person toward dozens of different exciting careers, such as forensic anthropology, veterinary forensics, mail crime, digital forensics, arson investigation, bomb analysis, medical and mortuary sciences, chemical warfare forensics, etc.

4 out of 5 stars

“Know Your Endo” was written by Jessica Murnane and merged the science and research on pain and endometriosis with the real-world experiences of people living with endo. This book also included management practices for endometriosis while also emphasizing that there is no cure. I highly recommend this book to anyone with endometriosis.

Here are some main takeaways:

If you’re a person living with endometriosis, caring for yourself needs to be your number-one priority.

Think about how much your pain and symptoms get in the way of your relationships, your work, and/or giving back to your community. Now think about how much more time you would have to give to them if you felt better.

Many people with endo can have inflammation of their appendix, colon, or the lining of their stomach that can cause bloat and swelling.
Endo fatigue is one of the hardest symptoms to manage – an intense, deep, and permeating feeling of exhaustion that can be hard to shake, no matter how hard you try.
Management practices: self-compassion, meaningful connections, mindfulness, movement, supplements, avoiding inflammatory foods, and prioritizing yourself

Big inflammatories: processed and packaged foods, dairy, red meat, refined sugars and synthetic sweeteners, fried foods, soda, refined carbs, alcohol, and caffeine. **You are the only one who knows how your body feels when you eat certain foods, and it’s your responsibility to listen to it.**

4 out of 5 stars

“The Body Keeps the Score” was an intense read about the effects of trauma and pathways to recovery written by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. This book took me a whopping thirteen days to read – mostly because I found it pretty depressing and wasn’t eager to read it each day. I regularly read about traumatic experiences in the course of my work, and adding this book on top of that was sometimes too much. With that said, I learned SO much from this book and will post more about it at another time. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced trauma. Here are some main lessons that stood out to me:

In today’s world, your zip code, even more than your genetic code, determines whether you will lead a safe and healthy life. Income, family structure, housing, employment, and educational opportunities affect risk of developing traumatic stress and access to effective help to address it. Poverty, unemployment, inferior schools, social isolation, widespread availability of guns, and substandard housing are all breeding grounds for trauma. Trauma breeds further trauma. Hurt people hurt other people.”

What has happened cannot be undone. What can be dealt with are the imprints of the trauma on the body, mind, and soul. The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind – finding a way to become calm and focused; learning to maintain that calm in response to images, thoughts, sounds, or physical sensations that remind you of the past; finding a way to be fully alive in the present and engaged with the people around you; and not having to keep secrets from yourself, including secrets about the ways that you have managed to survive.

“The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”

Treatments explored in this book include medications, sensorimotor psychotherapy and somatic experiencing, cognitive behavioral therapy, virtual reality therapy, acupuncture, massage, yoga, EMDR, writing to yourself, neurofeedback training, theater, self-awareness, and having a good support network.

Many psychiatrists today resort to doling out pills to relieve pain, anxiety, or depression, which doesn’t address the real issues: What are these patients trying to cope with? What are their internal or external resources? Do they have caring relationships with their bodies? Do they have dynamic interactions with other people? Whom can they count on? Are they members of a community? Do they have a sense of purpose? How can we help them feel in charge of their lives?

4 out of 5 stars

“Extreme Measures: Finding A Better Path to the End of Life” was written by Jessica Nutik Zitter, MD, an expert on the medical experience of death and dying who is double-boarded in the two specialties of pulmonary/critical care medicine and palliative care medicine – a rare combination. This book was fascinating, educational, emotional, and empowering. So many points and stories in this book will stick with me and I highly recommend this book to everyone. Here are some main points:

Often people die in the ICU on the end-of-life conveyer belt, where issues are treated until the patient dies. People who request treatment rarely understand the realities involved in “doing everything.” In the ICU, very few people have the opportunity to live life all the way through to the end. Too often the tools take life away from the dying.
There are certain treatments that Americans have come to see as their rights, whether or not the physician deems them to be beneficial in a particular case: breathing machines, feeding tubes, cardiac resuscitation with electric shocks and chest compressions, and dialysis. Most physicians feel they are powerless to withhold these treatments if the patient/family insists on their use.
Ask about the benefits and burdens of treatments, alternatives, and your or your family member’s prognosis.

Don’t expect your family to know your wishes or to make difficult decisions in the ICU. Identify what matters to you. What is your conception of a life worth living? Being free of pain? Engaging in relationships? Autonomy? Engaging in work and meaningful tasks? Living in your own home? Not being a physical/emotional/financial burden on your family? The best-laid paths to the end of life have been paved with ongoing reflection and communication. As people approach death, their priorities shift. Tools to convey your wishes include the Advance Directive, DNR order (good only for a particular admission at a particular time), and the POLST (follows you everywhere).

5 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

April 2024 Reads

May 2, 2024 amybenoit

I read four books in April 2024. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in April 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“The Sun Does Shine” detailed Anthony Ray Hinton’s experience spending nearly thirty years on death row in Alabama for crimes he didn’t commit. This book was eye-opening, emotional, and intriguing! I, and others, enjoyed it so much that it was selected as my employer’s next book club book! I will post about this book in more detail in a future post, but here are a few things that stood out to me:

He watched 54 men walk past his door on their way to be executed, as the execution chamber was 30 feet from his cell.
Mr. Hinton is one of the longest-serving condemned prisoners facing execution in America to be proved innocent and released. For 14 years, he could not obtain the legal help he needed to prove his innocence. Bryan Stevenson of the Equal Justice Initiative engaged three of the nation’s top firearms examiners, who all testified that the gun obtained from Mr. Hinton’s mother could not be matched to the crime evidence, and it took 14 years of contested litigation and a rare unanimous ruling from the U.S. Supreme Court before Mr. Hinton was released in 2015!
This book contained lessons of optimism, faith, and choice – all of which helped Anthony Ray Hinton survive his thirty years of confinement.
One of the most inspiring parts of the book is that Mr. Hinton’s best friend, Lester, never missed a visit in the thirty years Mr. Hinton was confined! That is true friendship many of us could never possibly imagine.

5 out of 5 stars!

“Warren Buffett Invests Like A Girl” was written by LouAnn Lofton, who has been with The Motley Fool since 2000. I read this as part of a book club I’m in, and honestly, this book could have been summed up in a blog post or list, which I am ironically doing right now. I have read better personal finance books. I didn’t particularly like that the author used the book to highlight stereotypical female qualities and emphasized how all investors should exhibit these qualities; at times, it came across as sexist.

Focus on the long term. Have patience. Don’t even think about investing money in the stock market that you need in less than five years. Trade less to make more.
Stick to your sphere of understanding.
Be levelheaded about your investments and the market at large and don’t get too excited or devastated.
Read and learn all you can, and actively seek out information. Research extensively.
Ignore peer pressure.
Learn from your mistakes.
Read up on the management of companies you are considering investing in. A business is only as strong as the people running it. Consider selling if management makes questionable decisions or undergoes significant changes.
Diversification – consider investing in an index funds and pick 15-20 individual stocks. *I don’t currently do this.*
Just because someone is an acknowledged investment guru or master doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way.

3 out of 5 stars

Hardcover Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect Book

“Unreasonable Hospitality: The remarkable power of giving people more than they expect” was written by Will Guidara. Will is the former co-owner of Eleven Madison Park and the Nomad, founder of the Welcome Conference, an annual hospitality symposium, and founder of Thank You, a hospitality company that develops world-class destinations and helps leaders across industries transform their approach to customer service. This book doubled as an autobiography and a great management book about how to lead and serve. Overall, this book was very educational and inspiring! I will post more in detail about this book in its own blog post sometime, but here are some main takeaways.

The greatest restaurants in the world become great by challenging the way we think about food. When Will Guidara set out to make Eleven Madison Park the best restaurant in the world, he had a crazy idea about how to do it: What would happen if we approached hospitality with the same passion, attention to detail, and rigor that we bring to our food?

In 2017, Eleven Madison Park was named the best restaurant in the world in 2017 after seven years of hard work, creativity, a maniacal attention to detail, and a truly unreasonable dedication to hospitality. They won because of their collective focus on unreasonable hospitality; they made the decision to be as joyfully unreasonable in their creative pursuit of hospitality in the dining room as the best restaurants all over the world already were in the kitchen.

Create a culture of hospitality. How do you make the people who work for you and the people you serve feel seen and valued? How do you give them a sense of belonging? How do you make them feel part of something bigger than themselves? How do you make them feel welcome?
You’re not always going to agree with everything you hear, but you’ve got to start by listening. If your business involves making people happy, then you can’t be good at it if you don’t care what people think. However, don’t try to be all things to all people. Criticism is an invitation to have your perspective changed.
Hospitality is a team sport. If you let your ego get in the way of asking for what you need, you’re going to let the whole team down, and the hospitality you’re delivering is going to suffer.
Serve what you genuinely want to receive and there will be authenticity in the experience.

5 out of 5 stars!

“The Book of (More) Delights” was written by Ross Gay, who has received numerous writing awards and teaches at Indiana University. His general rule was to write them daily, write them quickly, and write them by hand and to notice, pay attention to, and think about what he loves. This book was just so-so for me; I had high expectations for this book and had also placed a library hold on the original “The Book of Delights.” I found this book sometimes boring and not relatable – so much so that I cancelled the library hold for the original book in the series. This book consisted of mostly stories and anecdotes about his life, not relatable delights. With that said, here are some of the delights mentioned that we share, most of which were found in a list in the appendix rather than the actual chapters:

the perfect spoon (or cup)
free stuff
admiring babies
braces on adults
being early
paper menus and cash
my birthday
how people talk to their dogs
armrests on chairs
deep pockets
pants that fit right

3 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Mountain is You

April 8, 2024April 8, 2024 amybenoit

In “The Mountain is You,” Brianna Wiest compares life to a mountain and encourages readers to embrace challenges, embark on a journey of self-reflection, and practice perseverance in order to reach new heights. The mountain represents the challenges and obstacles we encounter throughout our lives and symbolizes the path we must overcome in order to grow.

The mountain is often less a challenge in front of us as it is a pattern within us, an unstable foundation that might not seem evident on the surface but is nonetheless shifting almost every part of our lives. Your mountain is the block between you and where you want to live. Facing it is also the only path to your freedom and becoming.

The mountain that stands in front of you is the calling of your life, your purpose for being here, and your path finally made clear. Self-sabotage is almost always at work. Self-sabotage comes from irrational fear.

To truly heal, you are going to have to change the way you think. You are going to have to become very conscious of negative and false beliefs and start shifting to a mindset that actually serves you.

Patterns indicative of self-sabotage:

resistance
perfectionism
limited emotional processing skills
justification
disorganization
attachment to what you don’t really want
judging others
pride
downplaying
being “busy”
spending time with the wrong people
worrying about irrational fears and least likely circumstances

How to tell if you’re in a self-sabotage cycle:

You are more aware of what you don’t want than what you do.
You spend more time trying to impress people who don’t like you than you spend with people who love you for who you are.
You’re putting your head in the sand.
You care more about convincing other people you’re okay than actually being okay.
Your main priority in life is to be liked, even if that comes at the expense of being happy.
You’re more afraid of your feelings than anything else.
You’re blindly chasing goals without asking yourself why you want these things.
You’re treating your coping mechanisms as the problem.
You value your doubt more than your potential.
You are trying to care about everything.
You are waiting for someone else to open a door, offer approval, or hand you the life you have been waiting for.
You don’t realize how far you’ve come.

The greatest act of self-love is to no longer accept a life you are unhappy with.
Brianna Wiest

When you start to feel resistance, ask yourself: Why do I feel this way? What is this feeling trying to tell me about the action I am trying to take? Is there something I need to learn here? What do I need to do to honor my needs right now?

We are not held back in life because we are incapable of making change. We are held back because we don’t feel like making change, and so we don’t.

Self-sabotage is what happens when we refuse to consciously meet our innermost needs, often because we do not believe we are capable of handling them.
Brianna Wiest

Intuitive vs. intrusive thoughts

“Arriving” often makes us hungrier for more. When we want something really badly, it is often because we have unrealistic expectations associated with it. We imagine it will change our lives in some formidable way, and often, that’s not the case.

What you do every single day accounts for the quality of your life and the degree of your success.

What would my most powerful self do today? Be aware of your weaknesses and be willing to be disliked. No matter what you do, others are going to judge you.

Assume that everyone, and everything, has something to teach you. Become comfortable with vulnerability.

Start developing your own principles. Your life purpose is the point at which your skills, interests, and the market intersect.

Figuring out what you want to do with your life: What, and who, is worth suffering for? If social media didn’t exist, what would you do with your life? What comes most naturally to you? What would your ideal daily routine look like? What do you want your legacy to be?

Get a plan. Plans fix problems. Humble yourself. Ask for help because you aren’t supposed to know everything. Learn how to feel better by processing complex emotions.

How to truly enjoy your life: Arrive into the present. Lean into the little joys when you find them. Learn something new as often as you can. See challenging times as opportunities for transformation.

Listen to your behaviors. Filter out the noise. Manage your discomfort by making small changes. Become the best version of yourself. Find your inner peace.

One day the mountain that was in front of you will be so far behind you, it will barely be visible in the distance. Who you become in learning to climb it will stay with you forever.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

March 2024 Reads

April 4, 2024 amybenoit

I read four books in March 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to being busy with a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in March 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships” was written by Leil Lowndes, an internationally acclaimed communications expert who coaches top executives of Fortune 500 companies and frontline employees to become more effective communicators. Leil conducts communications seminars for the U.S. Peace Corps, foreign governments, and major corporations. While I did learn some great communication tricks and the book was very useful, I did not like the phone and smug tone of writing. Here are a handful of my take-aways:

When someone asks where you are from, never give just the city. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can communicate on.
Never give a naked thank you. Never let the phrase “thank you” stand alone.
If you leave a voicemail, view it as your ten-second audition to prove you are worthy of a quick callback.
Use the big baby pivot when you meet someone new. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a baby who crawled up to your feet and smiled at you.
Imagine a giant swiveling spotlight between you and your conversation partner. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.

“Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English” was written by Valerie Fridland, a professor of linguistics at the University of Nevada and author of the popular language blog called “Language in the Wild.” This book contained a linguistic exploration of the speech habits we love to hate – linguistic quirks that are fundamental to our social, professional, and romantic success. This book was fascinating, and here are just a few facts that resonated with me:

Language evolution doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Language evolves because social forces act as triggers in taking underlying linguistic tendencies and giving them social meaning. Ex: migration, school, class, cultural shifts, geography, age, etc.

‘Ums‘ and ‘uhs‘ don’t just fill pauses- these words unconsciously signify the introduction of a new topic or a complex idea and signal to a listener that there will be an upcoming speech delay and convey how long of a delay the listener should expect. ‘Um‘ precedes longer delays than ‘uh.’ They also result in a boost in memory to the listener (of what was stated after the pause) and filled pauses buy ourselves processing time and convey to the listener that “it’s still my turn.”

Our unease with the use of the word ‘like‘ is probably more about its association with casual, younger speech than its functionality. ‘Like‘ is an incredibly amorphous word:

verb – to discuss fondness for objects or people
noun – to describe likes and dislikes
adjective – to mean similar to “in the manner of”
preposition – simile construction
conjunction – to embed another clause
approximating marker – looseness of meaning before a numerical estimate/quantification
common quotative verb

“100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships, & Success” was written by Liz Moody, the host of the top-rated Liz Moody podcast, author of best-selling books, and popular online content creator. This book was my favorite book I read in March and contained so much valuable information! I will post about this book in more detail another time, but in the meantime, here are five ways you can change your life.

Take the risk. You are far more resilient than you think. Doing is a form of figuring out. Just start. The right time is always right now. A fundamental reason many people don’t find success is that they never begin.
Think about your death. What can it highlight about living a life that you’re proud of today? What can it teach you about shifts you need to make?
Establish and stick to better boundaries. You reclaim your energy, time, capacity, money, and physical space. We begin to resent people for not catering to our needs, even when we’ve never communicated what those needs actually are. Take a pause before replying to anyone’s invitation or request. Practice checking in with yourself first before you tend to someone else’s needs.
Identify your financial dreams. Why do you want to accumulate wealth in the first place? What is your Rich Life? What do you value? What are some things other people might value that truly don’t matter to you? Spend your money on what you value.
Create a mental health checklist. Social connection, good nutrition, routine, sleep, and movement are the five pillars of mental health. Use them as a first line of answers if you aren’t feeling your best.

“Excuse Me As I Kiss The Sky” was written by Rudy Francisco, one of the most recognizable names in spoken word poetry, and one of my favorite poets. This book covered different poetry styles, some of which I am not familiar with: ode, obit, golden shovel, contrapuntal, question-and-answer, free verse, page to stage, and love poems.

Rudy is one of the most recognizable names in spoken word poetry, but his talent also shows on the page. Rudy mentioned the difference between page poems and performance poems. Page poems are written for visual aesthetics and consist of rearranging text and line breaks. Performance poems are focused on how the poem will sound out loud, how it feels to say the words, the syllable count, rhythm, and taking just one chance to explain the story.

Here are some of my favorite lines in the book, which I have not formatted into the page poems:

Fragile – “I know the heart can be a fragile and dangerous thing. When it breaks, the ends are often jagged and will cut the hands of people who are just trying to help you clean up the mess. But I also know that pain is nomadic. It doesn’t like to stay in one play for too long. Healing is a slow crawl, but it will find you right where you are.”

“Fear is when we turn up the volume on everything that might go wrong and then allow it to speak louder than courage.”

“The past is one of the few things more stubborn than we are. It will not change and doesn’t care if you have a better idea of how the story should’ve ended.

Healing begins when we stop trying to run backwards on the escalator and embrace whatever will keep us moving forward.”

“I hope you stumble into the kind of love that bends all the question marks into exclamation points.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

How I Built This: The Unexpected Paths to Success from the World’s Most Inspiring Entrepreneurs

March 11, 2024 amybenoit

I really enjoy watching Shark Tank and listening to the podcast “How I Built This with Guy Raz.” This book is based on the highly acclaimed NPR podcast “How I Built This with Guy Raz” and offered insights, inspiration, and incredible stories from the world’s top entrepreneurs on how to start, launch, and build a successful venture. This is a must-read for people who dream of being entrepreneurs or those who want to learn about business origins, challenges, and successes. In this post, I will share some of the most valuable insights from this book.

Anyone can be an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs aren’t chosen. They are made. Self-made.

Customers don’t pay for passion. They pay for things they can use. The way to get startup ideas is not to try to think of startup ideas. It’s to look for problems, preferably problems you have yourself, and solve them.

The scariest thing about starting a business is the unknown. Either stay in your job until your startup demands more time than you can spare OR have a backup plan. It’s a way to have another shot at doing something you’ve already done before so that you don’t go broke while you gather yourself to try again.

The most successful founders know their stuff: their product, their business, their customers, their industry as a whole.

Every entrepreneur should look for a cofounder. You need a partner whose skillset complements yours. Someone who not only shares your vision but elevates it and holds you accountable to it, who does what you cannot, who thinks and sees things in a way you don’t, whose strengths compensate for your weaknesses.

Even if you could do all the work yourself, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions, and to cheer you up when things go wrong … the low points in a startup are so low that few could bear them alone.
Paul Graham

Bootstrapping involves using what you have at your disposal to get yourself where you want to be. Ex: credit cards, personal savings, cycling profits back into the business + keeping control of your business as long as you can.

With some rare exceptions, bootstrapping will only take you so far. There will come a time when you need something that you can’t do yourself and you don’t have the $ to pay for even if you could. You may need other people’s $, manufacturing, mindpower, manpower, and marketing.

Fundraising is brutally hard at every level. It taxes your time, your energy, your ego, and sometimes your relationships. You can use crowdfunding sites. Once you’ve convinced people in your personal network to part with their money in support of your idea, that’s when the pressure to succeed really begins.

Every business is a story. The story connects everyone to the thing you’re building. The store goes from the name and logo to the function of the product, to the partners who founded it, all the way to the customers who patronize it!

All businesses are stories, and all stories are a process.

iteration – the incremental evolution of a product or service; tweaking a product based on feedback until it catches on.

Be open to relocating your business. Where you live matters. Sometimes you want to go where the industry is NOT. Ex: Ben & Jerry’s, Barre3

The first thing to understand is that raising venture capital is about making a promise: a promise that you have a product or service that people will pay money for, that you have a plan to reach as many people as possible, and that in exchange for lots of $, you will bust your butt to reach them. Prepare to answer:

How do you expect to scale this?
Where is the growth going to come from?
Who is the customer for this?
Doesn’t something like this already exist?
How will you get costs down?
Where will you manufacture?
Where will you be based?
What’s your marketing strategy?
Why does anyone need this?
Why would anyone do this?

As uncertain as the business world can be, one surefire way to know you’ve built something great that is primed to grow and scale is when your competitors start either copying you or suing you, sometimes both.

Mistakes/recalls – the only reliable way through that critical “before and after” moment is through quick, decisive, transparent action that puts people first and public perception second.

More work is never the real answer. To succeed as you scale, you have to leverage every person in the organization. And to do that, you have to be very intentional about how you craft the culture.
Reid Hoffman

You don’t scale. Only your idea, your story, and your values do, as long as you know them and share them. Know your values so you can make consistent decisions.
Guy Raz

Thinking like a parent and a partner is a skill every aspiring founder should cultivate in preparation for the challenges they will face with potential co-founders because they will invariably pour as much of their heart and soul and energy and money into building their business as they will into starting a family. If you would gladly sacrifice and do whatever it takes to protect your family, why would you not do the same for your business?
Guy Raz

Some people say, ‘Give the customers what they want.’ But that’s not my approach … people don’t know what they want until you show it to them. That’s why I never rely on market research.
Steve Jobs

One of my favorite company stories in the book is that of 5-Hour Energy, a product I’ve never personally used. Manoj Bhargava, the founder of 5-Hour Energy, was at a natural products trade show and looking for inventions he might acquire or license. He came across a 16-ounce energy drink that was better than others on the market. With the help of scientists from a company he’d founded for the express purpose of finding inventions just like this one, he had a comparable energy drink formula in a matter of months. It would turn out to be the easiest part of the process. The hardest part was getting his invention into stores. He knew that the beverage space is particularly challenging due to limited space.

He realized that he wanted people to get energy without having to drink or chug a 16-ounce energy drink, so he came up with the idea of shrinking his product from 16 ounces to 2 ounces. At that size, it wasn’t competing with others in the beverage market, it didn’t need to be refrigerated, and it didn’t take up much shelf space. In fact, it could be on a counter right next to the cash register. His ingredients were also less about energy and more about focus – “vitamins for the brain” – so he positioned his product outside of the convenience and grocery channels, and the first place to sell 5-Hour Energy was GNC, the largest vitamin store. After being a hit at GNC, 5-Hour Energy started being sold in drug stores, convenience stores, and grocery stores.

I highly recommend this book!⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts

February 2024 Reads

March 4, 2024 amybenoit

I read four books in February 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to being busy with a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in February 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Her Honor: My Life on the Bench … What Works, What’s Broken, and How to Change It” was written by LaDoris H. Cordell, a legal commentator and police-reform advocate who is a frequent guest on news outlets and served as the first African American woman jurist in Northern California. This book was very comprehensive and educational, and I learned SO much!

This review sums up my interpretation perfectly:

A brave, profound, and affecting book that combines wisdom, candor, wit, and humanity in equal measure, Her Honor is a sterling embodiment of the meaning of judicial independence that should be required reading for law students and anyone interested in our system of justice.
Kathleen M. Sullivan, former dean of Stanford Law School

Here are five random facts I learned reading this book:

The Multi Ethnic Placement Act (MEPA) requires the states to diligently recruit foster and adoptive parents who reflect the race or ethnicity of those children needing foster care and adoptive homes.
The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) requires the Native Child’s Tribe to be notified as soon as any proceedings concerning the child’s welfare are filed in court, and the Tribe has the right to be present at proceedings.
Seven states do not require any legal grounds to recall a judge. All that is needed is to collect the required number of signatures of registered voters to place the recall on the ballot. Federal judges cannot be recalled, no matter how controversial their decisions are.
The general rule is that judges cannot publicly comment about pending cases. It is no small irony that an accused murderer can speak out in his defense, but the judge who presides over that case cannot.
Today, defendants accept plea bargains and plead guilty in nearly 98% of criminal cases in federal and state courts.

“Flawless: Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital” was written by Elise Hu, a correspondent at host-at-large for NPR and the host of TED Talks Daily, the daily podcast from TED that’s downloaded a million times a day. Elise was the NPR bureau chief responsible for coverage of North Korea, South Korea, and Japan for nearly four years.

This review sums up my thoughts of this book:

Superbly researched and deeply insightful, Flawless is a timely, provocative, and fascinating must-read. Elise Hu masterfully blends an engrossing memoir about her experience as a foreigner, woman, and mother of girls in Seoul with a journalistic exploration of the disturbing forces behind K-beauty’s global rise.
Angie Kim

Here are three surprising take-aways from the book:

At high school graduation time in South Korea, students are commonly given cosmetic surgery gift certificates by their parents and grandparents, and dermatology and plastic surgery apps offer 50-70% discounts to recent high school grads for a three-pack of the most popular procedures for young Koreans: eyelid surgery, nose jobs, and Botox for facial contouring of the jawline.
Olive Young, like Sephora, is a one-stop shop for Korean skincare and cosmetics. In 2020, there were 1,259 Oliver Young stores in South Korea, roughly twice the number of Sephoras in the United States. Accounting for the population differences between the two countries, that means Koreans are roughly 6x more likely to encounter an Olive Young than an American is to encounter its equivalent!
South Korea leads the world in cosmetic procedures relative to its population.

“I’ll Fly Away” is a book of poems that paints an intimate portrait of Black life in America, written by Rudy Francisco, one of the most recognizable names in Spoken Word Poetry. Rudy is an Individual World Poetry Slam Champion and a National Poetry Slam Champion. He is my favorite slam poet.

Here are some of my favorite anecdotes from the poems:

“Sometimes I’m the mess. Sometimes I’m the broom – on my hardest days, I have to be both.”

“Have you ever noticed how much water hates to argue? How it molds itself into the shape of a pour, makes a home where it lands, but also never gives up its identity. As if to say, ‘Sure, I’ll stay but only if I can be myself.’ I think there is a lesson here.”

“The Peace Lily is a flower that can grow and survive even if it’s left in the shade. See? We don’t always choose our environment, but we can’t let that stop us from blooming.”

“There are people that you don’t know, who dislike you for things you never did. There are people who start wars but hide the declaration under their breath for years. They see you coming, stare from a safe distance, and launch a fleet of ships using only a glance.”

“How to Break Up With Your Phone” was an eye-opening book written by Catherine Price. Part of this book covered the negative impacts of phone usage and addiction, and the second part of this book covered a detailed 30-day plan to break the cycle of addiction to your phone. Although I have not yet done the 30-day plan, I learned a lot from this book and will implement some of the 30-day challenge tips.

The biggest tips from this book are to reframe the way you think about your phone. Every moment you spend on your phone is time you’re not spending doing other pleasurable things, whether that’s in-person relationships, practicing a hobby, reading a book, etc.

Ask yourself what you want to pay attention to. Our lives are what we pay attention to. Every time you reach for your phone, consider asking yourself: What for? What else? Why now?

Set yourself up for success. If you spend too much time on social media apps, uninstall them from your phone and make yourself use a computer to check social media. Disable notifications from apps and e-mail to prevent distractions. Establish rules about phone usage. Ex: no phones at the dinner table, no phone within an hour of waking up or going to bed, no phones while riding in an elevator, no phones on a daily walk, etc.

I really enjoyed all four of these books and will post about some of them in more detail on my blog sometime!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

January 2024 Reads

February 5, 2024 amybenoit

I read five books in January 2024. I have been reading less for my personal pleasure due to starting a post-graduate paralegal certificate program and spending most of my time reading textbooks. Here is a brief synopsis of the five books I read in January 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“101 Things I Learned in Advertising School” was written by Tracy Arrington with Matthew Frederick. It was an interesting, quick, and easy read, and I learned a lot! Here are a few takeaways:

It’s all advertising until it lands in the cart: public ads, location, packaging, etc.

Don’t buy media if you can earn it through exposure such as news coverage, editorials, and social media buzz.

You won’t have a healthy relationship if you do all the talking. In the digital environment, if consumers don’t like what they hear and don’t feel they are being listened to, they can and will go elsewhere – maybe even to the media outlets.

“The Book You Want Everyone You Love To Read: Sane and Sage Advice to Help You Navigate All of Your Most Important Relationships” was written by Philippa Perry, an author, psychotherapist, artist, TV and radio presenter, and advice columinist for The Guardian. This book will change your life.

It covers the importance of relationships and the difficulties that come with them, and you will get into the habit of practicing new ways of behaving and communicating. I took away so much from this book and will share more about it on my blog sometime.

It is so much easier to blame something outside ourselves for our discontent than it is to look inwardly for a cause.

Recognize when you are playing the martyr and stop. If you allow yourself to be dragged down by someone else, you will resent them for it. Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.

“Internal Medicine: A Doctor’s Stories” was written by Terrence Holt and detailed what it’s like to be a doctor. It was fascinating at times and I gained some medical knowledge and a better understanding of the process of my grandpa’s heart and kidney failure that led to his death.

“Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI” was written by David Grann and detailed the atrocities the Osage Indian Nation experienced. This book detailed the allotment, the policy to break up American Indians’ communal ownership of land in Oklahoma, and the Indians kept the subsurface mineral rights to the land. Within several years, large deposits of oil were discovered directly under their lands, and the Osage were given a headright, which was a share in the mineral trust. A headright could not be bought or sold; it could only be inherited. This resulted in calculated and cruel murders, betrayals, and coverups.

“Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations” was a unique graphic memoir written by Mira Jacobs. This book covered Mira’s journey as a first-generation American and delved into difficult conversations that she had with her young son and husband about race, love, and family. Mira detailed several times she didn’t fit in because of the color of her skin – from receiving a bottle of Fair & Lovely as a gift from her grandmother, to navigating the job search as a colored person, to being mistaken as “the help”, to being told by a waitress that other customers didn’t feel “safe” near her. She was often torn about whether to say something or whether to stay silent about the treatment she faced. These two photos resonated with me.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

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