Author: amybenoit

I'm Amy and I love reading, learning, and sharing! I read 76 books in 2022 and shared my reviews on Facebook. To reach a wider audience, I have created Read, Learn, Share, where I am excited to share book reviews and many other things I have learned.
Book review posts, Uncategorized

Still Doing Life: 22 Lifers, 25 Years Later

amybenoit

“Still Doing Life: 22 Lifers, 25 Years Later” was an eye-opening book written by Howard Zehr and Barb Toews, who first interviewed people in this book in the early 1990s and followed up with them in 2017. Their first interviews resulted in the book “Doing Life: Reflections of Men and Women Serving Life Sentences.” Of note, those who have not managed to mature and change for the better are underrepresented in this book. This book was also published by New Press, a nonprofit public interest publisher.

MANY statements stood out to me. I didn’t agree with all of them but enjoyed reading new perspectives. The quotes I took from this book emphasized the weight of uncertainty of life sentences/release dates, prison sentences harming families and loved ones, rehabilitation, justice, trauma healing, and restorative justice.

Disclaimer: These are quotes that resonated with me. I do not agree with all of them. I am sharing them as simply quotes to provoke thinking, and these are not necessarily my views or opinions or those of my employer.

“The meeting with the victim’s family, telling her what actually happened, was the best thing in my whole incarceration. She told me what the loss meant to her and was understanding of what it’s done to me, and how I’ve changed and grown. It’s rewarding to know that, even after 35 years, they aren’t hating you, being vindictive, or wishing you were dead. They’re on my visitor’s list, send letters and cards, and have written letters for my commutation.”

“People think that rehabilitation means the system has succeeded in their program to be rehabilitate you…you have to rehabilitate yourself. There are women who have been here almost as long as I have who are no further ahead than the day they stepped in. There are others who are a true success story. These women chose to grow and to rehabilitate themselves, to make their lives not only suitable for the outside, but very suitable for living in prison.”

“I don’t favor life without parole because I think anyone can change. To say a person made a mistake and then lock them up for the rest of their life is inhumane. Actually, I would describe a life sentence as a death sentence. There’s a good possibility you will never get out.”

“They got a whole lot of lifers that they need to let out. Lifers could be an asset on the street because lifers know what it’s like to be out there. They are wasting the taxpayers’ money. They’re wasting a lot of good minds. I could talk to children and tell them what it’s like to drop out of school and get involved with drugs because I’ve been there before. If you can give a child any kind of experience, it’ll help more than telling them they shouldn’t do something.”

“Now I understand NOT the excuses for why it happened, but why it happened. It makes me able to accept my blame and not use someone else as a scapegoat. I know what I allowed with my codependent actions, my need for someone else, my fear of abandonment, the fear that I couldn’t make it on my own. Now I don’t think there’s much I can’t do on my own. Today I’m a healed individual. I’m more understanding and compassionate, but not to the point of letting someone else use me again. I’m a supportive individual, but there’s a limit to my being able to give beyond my boundaries. Before, I didn’t know I had boundaries.”

“I believe I’ve been forgiven by my God and myself, but it’s the forgiveness of the family of the victim and my family that’s the problem. I’m deprived of the opportunity to face them. If locking me up for the rest of my life would bring my victim back, I would understand. But that’s not the case. Justice without mercy isn’t justice. I need to be punished, but I need mercy to be fully restored.”

“It’s been rough on my family to see me here. It hurts them more than it hurts me. I know what’s going on with the family and children, but I try not to interfere with their lives. I’m the one who’s being punished, but they’re being punished too. It hurts more than it’s supposed to.”

“I would describe a life sentence as doing something you don’t want to do, being with people you don’t want to be with, being somewhere you don’t want to be. Not having your fate within your control. Life without parole is a death sentence without an execution date. You should be able to live in anticipation of something. The anticipation involved in being without you freedom should be the anticipation of being free.”

“I lived in a prison in my own home with an abusive husband. When I first came to jail, it was a refuge. I didn’t have to worry if he was going to kill me. But it didn’t take too long for the reality to set in. I’ve gone through stages. There was a period when it wasn’t hard, because the life I had before was rough. When I came to jail, I was safe for the first time. Now it’s getting really difficult. I’ve done everything I can do here. I’ve taken every opportunity the prison offers.”

“Many of us have grown up since we’ve been here. Our thought processes have certainly changed, so we want to feel and live this humanity, and live a normal life. I don’t know how we can sugar coat that it’s a totalitarian system here. It’s like: feed the dogs two times a day, let them go out to the bathroom, let them run around a little bit, then put them back in.”

“I was put in prison because I was a danger to society. I realize that. They did the right thing. But now, having lived in prison for the last 30 years as a responsible, model prisoner? I’ve worked in the recovery program. I’ve started programs at different prisons I’ve been at. I’ve made a responsible life in here. I’m no longer a threat. Why do I have to continue to be held in prison, when I can go out there and replicate exactly what I’m doing here? Especially after the prison has done what it’s supposed to do as far as transforming and changing individuals.”

“I’m not requesting commutation. They would notify the victim’s family, and they would have to go through this all over again. I couldn’t do it. I’ve been able to work through the crime myself, but to put them through it? No. I accept being here. I’m okay with that.”

“If I had one wish, I would ask to get out of jail and have the opportunity to reestablish my family life and myself as a productive citizen in society. Do the things the way that I should have done the first time I was out, like being more active in the community and with children so I could influence those who may be heading in this direction. Incarceration is an experience that sticks with you, but you can share it with people – not to intimidate them, but to try to convince them that this isn’t a worthy lifestyle.”

“Just because you’re in prison doesn’t mean you have to be hard and cold. Sometimes the smallest thing like a smile or a word of concern can lift someone so high. I refuse to let this place make me afraid to be human. I refuse to walk around here with my head hung down, and I refuse to let authority strip me of my pride and my dignity and my sense of who I am. I may be an inmate, a prisoner, whatever label you choose, but I am a person first.”

“That was restorative justice for me: Did I have things in my life that needed to be restored? Could I truly see other people’s positions besides how things affected me? How were other people affected by things that I might have done or said?”

“Trauma not transformed is often trauma transferred. Hurt people hurt people.”

Trauma healing requires safety, acknowledging painful experiences, and reconnection. People must “find themselves” in ways that restore self-worth, such as uncovering new skills, interests, and gifts. They must create community by participating in educational, therapeutic, and service programs and organizations. They must also value and nurture relationships outside prison walls by addressing people impacted by their actions, especially those most directly victimized by them.

“Meaningful accountability in the case of total violence is difficult to conceptualize because a deceased person cannot be brought back to life. Loved ones left behind know this better than anyone. Yet accountability is possible to some degree through the acknowledgement of responsibility for the violence, an understanding of the harm caused, taking steps to ensure the violence will not happen again, and paying it forward by helping others.”

This book was particularly interesting given my current career. To emphasize, these quotes are all taken from the book and do not necessarily represent my personal views or the views of my employer.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – July 6, 2023

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My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast – 10 New Habits to Add to Enrich Your Life to Become Fitter, Healthier & Happier
  1. Make a habit of waking up earlier.
  2. Get sunlight as early as you possibly can.
  3. Minimize screen time, especially early in the morning.
  4. Put your money where your mouth is and invest in yourself.
  5. Utilize cold showers as well as hot/cold therapy.
  6. Have a self-reflection process (meditation, breathing, journaling, etc.)
  7. Take time for self-care. Examples: journaling, meditation, going on a walk with no stimulus, being alone with your thoughts
  8. Be a life-long student. Challenge what you know and reaffirm what you know.
  9. Aim for 10k steps per day.
  10. Check out of your day and create a plan for the next day each evening.
  11. Set a phone cut off time each evening, utilize different focus modes on your phone, and cut out social media before bed.
TED Talks Daily – How to be a team player — without burning out with Rob Cross
  • We are doing more collaborative work than ever before, and the problem is that it is overloading us. Collaboration can help us work better and smarter, can help us come up with ideas we never would have had on our own, and can make us happier than executing tasks alone. Collaborative work is now taking up to 85% of people’s work week.
  • We are often too eager to jump into collaborations that burn up our time. About 50% of the collaboration overload problem starts with the beliefs we have about ourselves and what it means to be a good colleague and a productive person.
  • Trigger: the desire to help others – can get so bogged down in helping that it prevents you from meeting your own goals and over time, you become a bottleneck slowing others down. The need for accomplishment – the cycle can get addictive. It leads you to solve more and more small problems for other people and avoid the bigger ones critical to your success. Fear – fear of missing out – frantic need to be apart of something, fear of losing control, fear of what others will say. These fears drive unproductive choices and lead us into burnout.
  • Learn to get comfortable saying “no.” Be clear about what projects or deadlines you have. Every “yes” means saying “no” to something else. Remember you can delegate. Look for moments where you can give partial direction or empower someone. Be intentional in crafting your work life. Ask yourself how it aligns with your goals, how much time it will take, and what the upsides are.  

I can relate to this! I have a tendency to want to help others, feel accomplished or useful, and fear what others will say if I don’t help with something and have a free moment. It has caused burnout in the past and is something I am slowly working on.

Disclaimer: These next two podcast episodes were about different methods to parenthood. I am not personally undergoing either of these, but was curious to learn more, as NerdWallet has been covering the price of parenthood recently and had an episode about adoption. I wanted to see how these methods compare to adoption.

NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – The Price of Parenthood: In Vitro Fertilization and the Future of Parenthood
  • More than 73,000 babies were born via IVF in 2020 from over 300,000 implantation cycles.
  • It is impossible to find an average cost, as the cost differs from state to state, insurance company, medications you take, and how many cycles you go through.
  • IVF- some insurance covers a few rounds and some insurance doesn’t cover any.
  • Initial cost: testing and medications needed: $5,000. Procedure cost for 1 cycle (collecting eggs and fertilizing them): $11,000 + costs of pregnancy and childbirth. Some patients do IVF and surrogacy. It may take several cycles of IVF for a successful pregnancy, and there is an added cost for each cycle.
  • IVF is generally considered a luxury treatment because it is not readily available to people who don’t have $. Insurance generally does not cover the cost, and people often go through a few cycles!
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – The Price of Parenthood: How Egg Freezing Works
  • Some insurance companies are required to cover medically necessary fertility preservation (sperm or egg freezing). This is often the case when patients are undergoing chemotherapy and desire to have kids someday.
  • Some insurance companies cover egg freezing even without a diagnosis that warrants it. Some insurance companies cover testing, procedures, and medication with a lifetime maximum benefit of $15k for procedures and $10k for medication.
  • You can save up by maxing out your HSA contributions every year.
  • Extraction costs= $6k-8k. You also need to pay for medications that can cost thousands of dollars. This is for one round of freezing, and generally people need at least two rounds. The cost is estimated at $20-$30k for two rounds. Storage costs average about $500/year.
  • One thing I found interesting is that egg freezing carries a similar cost of adoption!
Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast – Debunking 7 Fitness Myths Everyone Believes
  • Myth: More sweat = better results and better workouts. Fact: Focus on progressive overload. The sauna is not your saving grace for losing weight; you are just losing water. Sweat every day.
  • Myth: Spot reduction. Fact: You are better off working your body as a whole.
  • Myth: Lifting weights will make women bulky. Fact: You need a combination of strength training with cardio.
  • Myth: You can build a great physique with just cardio. Fact: Lifting will improve your muscularity and physique. Lift 3x/week minimum.
  • Myth: You have to eat entirely clean to make progress. Fact: Allow yourself some treats.
  • Myth: Stretching before exercise will prevent injuries. Fact: Stretching can actually increase the chances of injury.
  • Myth: No carbs after (insert time here). Fact: Setting time limits on carbs is not necessary.
Food, We Need to Talk – A “Healthy” Relationship with “Unhealthy” Food ft. Jordan Syatt
  • In junior high, Jordan recalls his time in wrestling, where he and others went to extreme measures to “make weight” for competitions, such as working out in a sweatshirt, not drinking any water, and skipping meals. These practices can lead to eating disorders – wrestlers often binge eat then starve themselves to make weight for competitions.
  • Power lifting helped get over his eating disorder. He took his focus away from trying to be lean to trying to gain strength and knew he had to fuel his body properly. He became a 5-time world-record power lifter.
  • If you are hyper-focused on weight, it is important to have a balance between clean eating and splurges. A more balanced diet decreases binges.
  • Calorie counting can trigger binge eating for some people. As soon as a limit is put on how much you can eat that day, some people view it as a countdown to eating until you’re all out of calories.
  • Be more self-aware and structured with your diet by adding more fruits and vegetables.
  • Being strict about only eating clean food can lead you to say no to social gatherings, refrain from eating cake at birthday parties, and refrain from some foods you love. Allow yourself to splurge sometimes. You can have any food you want. The majority of your food should be whole, minimally processed, nutrient-dense foods: fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, high fiber, and whole grains.

You should have zero guilt or negative emotions for having treats in moderation.

  • Jordan ate a Big Mac every day and ate a healthy diet overall and exercised regularly. He lost seven pounds in one month. The purpose of the Big Mac challenge was to show that you can still have treats and make progress as long as you are consistent with the other aspects of your life (overall nutrition and exercise).
  • If something scares you, it’s probably the right move. If stopping counting calories scares you, you should probably stop counting calories. If taking a rest day scares you, you should probably take a rest day. If going to the gym scares you, you should probably go to the gym.
Switched on Pop – My Beyonce Ticket Cost $4,000: Why The Touring Industry Might Be Broken
  • People were put in groups on Ticketmaster. You had to apply to a tiered status to try to get tickets. It’s like a lottery system. People are placed on waitlists.
  • The concert industry is broken. Part of the problem is Ticketmaster. Tickets and fees have never been more expensive. Some people spend thousands of dollars on tickets to Beyonce or Taylor Swift, and even nosebleed tickets are hundreds of dollars.

The monopoly of Ticket Master Live Nation has a total chokehold of the industry. They control the venues, they are the promoters, they are the management of the artists, they control the sale of tickets, and they control all aspects of the live music industry. Before they merged, Ticket Master was solely a ticketing agency. Live Nation was historically an artist manager and promoter. Live Nation was considering their own ticketing world to compete with Ticket Master, and they eventually merged.

  • AEG (a competitor promoter) was used for Taylor Swift’s tour. They still had to work with Ticket Master on selling the tickets they were promoting.
  • Solutions: legislation restricting the second-hand market in certain ways or a breakup of Ticket Master Live Nation so that it isn’t a monopoly.
The Jordan Harbinger Show – Fireworks – Skeptical Sunday
  • The fireworks industry netted $2.2 billion in 2021.
  • Cons: fireworks damage property, pollute the environment, and literally blow off fingers. Firework injuries are up 25% in the last 15 years. About 4,800 people per year have hand or finger injuries due to fireworks.
  • Fireworks emit metals and gases into the air.
  • The fear that fireworks conjure fascinates us. Neuroscientists say that the reason we enjoy fireworks is because they frighten us – similar to horror movies and haunted houses
  • Los Angeles had its worst air quality in a decade after the fourth of July in 2022.
  • There are over 14,000 fireworks displays in the U.S. alone during the 4th of July weekend. Fireworks used to celebrate independence temporarily increase particulate pollution by an average of 42%.

The Veterans’ Administration website indicates that fireworks often trigger combat veterans’ PTSD, resulting in flashbacks and nightmares. Many of them need to plan to get away from firework shows. Pets are also impacted and are often terrified. Some animals become so frightened that they run away. According to the American Kennel Club, more pets go missing during July 4th weekend than any other time of the year. In an ironic twist, the celebration of America can cause our nation’s iconic mascot, the bald eagle, to abandon their nests.

  • According to the National Fire Protection Association, fireworks account for approximately 19,500 fires per year, leading to an estimated $105 million in property damage.
  • The political and monetary reasons for fireworks are massive. Many people believe fireworks are protected by the second amendment (gunpowder). Gunpowder fuels the fireworks.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 29, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Science Vs – Who Killed Affordable Housing?

Who killed affordable housing? Accusations are flying around all over the place of the culprit: greedy landlords, developers, the short-term rental industry, and too many baby boomers active in the housing market causing millennials to not have a chance.

  • Developers: often described as “rip-off artists, greedy, bulldozers, opportunists” out to make a profit off of housing.
    • Many people think developers are responsible for raising the price of neighborhoods.
    • Brand new apartments are going to be more expensive than older ones in the same way that new cars are more expensive than older cars. So the new market-rate building on your block is not going to be affordable unless you’re making good money.
    • It’s generally not true that the building itself raises the prices of other buildings/rents in the neighborhood. Sometimes your rent will go up, but it isn’t because of the new development; it’s because you’re living in a desirable neighborhood that is seeing prices rise. That’s why the developers chose to put a new building there.
    • Developers aren’t the heroes, but they aren’t the villains.

Airbnb: draws a lot of criticism and blame – most Airbnbs are entire homes, not a spare room or couch in someone’s home as the company was originally created to provide. Today, the vast majority (79%) of Airbnb supply are entire homes and apartments, and this has been the fastest growing component over the past 3 years as Airbnb grows further from its sharing economy roots. Studies have shown that Airbnbs are responsible for 20% of the increase in rent of the time period studied.

  • Zoning: the rules that a city makes about what can be built and where it can be built.
    • Many cities require a certain percentage of single-family detached homes. Some cities have laws that require 3 parking spots per studio apartment! This is a sneaky way to make it harder to build more housing/apartment buildings.
    • Some zoning codes require minimum lot sizes – for example, in Connecticut, many homes require almost 2 acres of land per house even if not in a rural area! So many houses have doubled in size since the 1950s.
    • Los Angeles is 74% single-family zoned. Seattle is 80% single-family zoned. The bottom line is that research shows that places with more red tape from zoning are more expensive.

Supply and demand: Demand for housing has gone up. Back in the 1980s, rules changed about how financial institutions could lend money for mortgages. After that happened, more people had access to loans for mortgages, so people who previously weren’t eligible were now eligible, so now we are in a bidding war. When prices go up, housing becomes more valuable, and that attracts investors.

Frugal Friends Podcast – The Best Money Saving Tips for 2023
  • Housing, transportation, groceries, taxes, and healthcare expenses make up about 72% of consumer spending.
  • The biggest tip to saving money is to figure out what you value. You can spend money on the things you value and focus on saving money on what you don’t value. Example: one of my values is finding and trying gluten-free dairy-free items at a discount grocery store. I allow myself to splurge on these discounted items when I occasionally shop.
  • Work on always aligning your spending with what you value or always trying to increase or decrease your income to be enough for what you value. Can you look at your bank statement and be happy with it?
  • Don’t feel pressured to spend money on things others value. Example: latest fashion, expensive happy hours/restaurants, latest technology. Say no as often as you say yes so that you can empower yourself to know more about yourself and what you value.
  • Simplify to streamline. Simplify your physical space to save money on other important physical products. Simplify your schedule for less takeout and services. Simplify your digital life for fewer online purchases and subscriptions.
Life Kit – How to start running in the body you have
  • Many people struggle with their inner critic: “I’m not a runner.” Name that inner critic and tell it to chill out.
  • Gear: pick up a new pair of running shoes. Go to a running specialty store and get a gait analysis/shoe fit. Get shorts and t-shirts. Avoid chafing by not wearing cotton socks and by wearing body lube.
  • Blisters on your feet when you run can signal that you have the wrong shoes or wrong socks. Cotton socks can stick to your feet from the sweat and can create friction that causes blisters. Synthetic fibers (polyester or bamboo fiber are best).

Signs you’re wearing the wrong running shoes:

  • If you’re going on your first run, start by walking for five minutes to get yourself warmed up and mentally together. You can start by running for 15 seconds and then walking for 1 minutes and slowly build up to longer run times and shorter walk times. Every two weeks, try to increase the intensity.
  • Your natural form is special to you. Form tips: don’t clench your fists, loosely close your hands, don’t look down, look at the horizon 6-8 feet in front of you, and do belly breathing.
  • On the days when you are not running, cross-train. Exercise your body in other forms that aren’t specific to running, such as cycling, yoga, or lifting weights. Many of us sit on our butts all day, so we need to strengthen our glutes. Make sure you are doing exercises for your glutes: glute bridges, banded clam shells, squats, leg raises, etc.
  • If you are having issues with time, start with 2 days of running and 1 day of cross-training each week. Then, build up to 3 days of running and 2 days of cross-training. Get creative with your time. Can you work out while watching tv?
  • After a while, you will start to notice that running is either not as hard as it used to be when you started, or you will realize that you hate it just as much as you did when you started. If you still hate running after a while, take up something else – cycling, paddle boarding, walking, swimming, etc. Regular exercise is vital.
  • Running affirmations: No struggle, no progress. I’ll run if I have to run by myself. Your race, your pace. This is hard, but I can do hard things. Slow is steady, and steady is fast.
Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast – 50 Biggest Takeaways from 500 Episodes of Health & Fitness Podcasts

I won’t cover all 50, but here are those that most resonated with me:

  • By changing nothing, nothing changes.
  • Read more and learn more. Reading non-fiction books will change your life. You don’t have to agree with everything in each book, but if you find one golden nugget that you can take with you to make you a little bit better, you will become your best self.

Choose your hard. Being overweight is hard, working out is hard, sleeping in is hard, waking up and getting everything else done is hard. Which hard are you going to choose? Choose the hard that will make you feel your best.

  • Be on a routine that involves progressive overload.
  • Don’t eat out of boredom. Decide if you’re truly hungry.
  • You can’t out-exercise a bad diet. You need to focus on both nutrition and fitness.
  • Work hard and don’t look for shortcuts. A lot of your problems can be solved with

Eat until you’re satisfied, not until you’re stuffed.

  • A clear space = a clear mind. Declutter.
  • Stop hitting snooze! Hop out of bed and make the first decision for your day.
  • Comparison is the thief of joy. Someone is always going to look better than you. Focus on your journey and your growth.
  • Your self-worth isn’t how you look. Instead of being focused on how you look, focus on longevity, strength, and many other traits.

You could be good today. Instead, you choose tomorrow. Get started right now. Not all of the conditions are going to be perfect during any given day.

  • Work hard and don’t look for shortcuts. A lot of your problems can be solved with hard work. Shortcuts are rarely the answer.
  • Discipline trumps motivation. Don’t rely on motivation. Show up every single day.
  • Purpose over pleasure. Think of long-term goals.
  • Dropping one vice can give you amazing results.
  • Small changes and habits + consistency each day = substantial results over time. The power of the compound effect

If you don’t fight for what you want, you deserve what you get. Choose your hard.

If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.

The Accidental Creative with Todd Henry – 10 Questions for Finding Your Voice
  1. What angers you? Are there specific things that evoke a compassionate anger in you? We’re talking about the things that evoke a desire to intervene in a situation as an act of compassionate or to rectify a great wrong.
  2. What makes you cry? What moves you with emotion? Think about the last several instances that caused you to cry.
  3. What have you mastered? Are there tasks, skills, or opportunities that you have simply mastered and can do without thinking? Start with what you do well, and work your way toward your goal.
  4. What gives you hope? What do you look forward to? What great vision do you have for your future and the future of others?
  5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? That can give us insight into the deeper seeds of fascination that may still reside within us.
  6. If you had all the time and money in the world, what would you do? We believe that a lack of resources is the obstacle to our happiness and fulfillment, but for many of us the limitation has nothing to do with a lack of money or time. The limitation is our fear of falling short of our own self-perception.
  7. What would blow your mind? List out everything that would thrill you if it were to happen, including relational things, business things, travel, ambitions, hopes, etc. It’s a great way to identify patterns in your motivation.
  8. What platform do you own? What platform do you already have for self-expression? What foundation can you build on to begin affecting the kinds of change you’d like to see?
  9. What change would you like to see in the world? If you could identify a single thing you would like to see before you die, what would it be? You may not be the one to lead this change, but you may be able to play a significant role in it.
  10. If you had one day left, how would you spend it? What questions would you ask? Who would you spend time with? What work would you do? This is a way to begin identifying patterns within your passions, skills, and experiences.
Conscious Fertility – Endometriosis: It’s More Than Period Pain with Shannon Cohn
  • If you have symptoms that interfere with your life, that cause your day to go differently (limitations to school/work/activities you enjoy doing), that is not normal. If the period pain is so bad that it interferes with your daily life, that should be investigated. GI symptoms are also common with endometriosis. People are generally told they have IBS. If you are experiencing nausea, fatigue, pain, migraines, and a lot of GI issues, talk to your OBGYN and advocate for yourself. Symptoms to look for: digestive issues- constipation, diarrhea, pain with bowel movements, severe bloating, body pain, menstrual pain, pain with intercourse, infertility
  • The only definitive way to diagnose endometriosis is a surgery (laparoscopy). An excision surgery is the most important treatment option. Exercise, diet, and birth control alone cannot heal endometriosis.
  • Resource: https://endowhat.com/

https://www.pbs.org/video/below-the-belt-the-last-health-taboo-wmzdvy/

This is a link to a PBS special covering endometriosis.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Story of You – Enneagram Types and Rewriting Your Story

amybenoit

“The Story of You” is a book written by Ian Morgan Cron, an author, psychotherapist, Episcopal priest, songwriter, and founder of the Typology podcast. Using the nine Enneagram types, Ian revealed the broken stories that each type adopts and inhabits in childhood to make sense of the world and explored how to rewrite the self-sabotaging stories you tell yourself about who you are. I had SO many take-aways from this book, and it was among my top 20 favorite books I read in 2022.

All nine Enneagram types were explored in this book in detail, and it was evident that I am mostly a type ONE on the Enneagram. Ones are well-behaved, mature, inherently principled natural leaders who want to know the standards and principles of morality, decency, and integrity and adhere to them. Ones are perfectionists always working to improve themselves and to be good, often expecting others to be the same way. Ones tell themselves that it’s their job to make the world a better place, so they work harder, do more, and put in extra hours to accomplish that.

Statements ONES relate to (aka the story of my life):

  • What I should do is more important than what I want to do.
  • I’ll finally be happy when I’m perfect.
  • I need to be good so people will like me.
  • I have to maintain control.
  • If I relax, all hell will break loose.
  • The risk of being criticized or judged is not worth the shame and self-judgment it could cause.
  • People will not accept me as a flawed human being.
  • Others won’t do as good a job as me.

For ONES, perfectionism is the source of unhappiness. The story Ones tell themselves includes self-improvement as the starting point for improving the world, so they are eager to pursue new systems, innovative practices, or fresh ideas that help them do more in able to be better. They often experience simmering resentment just below the surface waiting to boil over, self-condemnation for their imperfections, and exhaustion from always striving to improve and do more.

ONES breaking out of their own story:

  • make rest and relaxation a priority
  • schedule vacations/days off/downtime in order to recharge
  • stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking
  • accept themselves as they are, knowing that imperfection is essential
  • forgive themselves when they fall short
  • learn to endure disorder and chaos without running around and correcting others and modeling the right way to do things
  • let go of the need for certainty and extend grace to others for trying
  • realize that God’s love is not predicated on their accomplishments in perfecting themselves, others, and the world
  • Their new story starts when they begin to experience the virtue of serenity that comes when they accept that the world is imperfectly perfect and so are they.

You have control over the choices you make every day. You are the narrator of your own story. Assume control of your new story; don’t let your old story control you.

“Who would I be and what could I achieve if I pushed back against the false story about who I think I am and the nature of the world? What decisions can I make today to inhabit the new story that will help me become the highest and truest expression of myself?”

Ian Morgan Cron

I highly recommend reading this book if you want to rewrite your story!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 22, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – The Price of Parenthood: What It Costs to Be a Parent

115,000 children were adopted in the United States in 2019. The number of adoptions dropped in 2020 to just over 95,000.

391,000 children are currently in foster care in the United States waiting for homes.

Paths to parenthood include:

  • traditional parenthood
  • surrogacy
  • foster care to permanent placement/adoption
  • private adoption through an agency or independent adoption

This podcast primarily focused on adoption. Here are some take-aways:

  • Adoption through an agency generally costs $40,000 or so, and it is paid in installments (a certain amount to get started, more after the home study is completed, and more after a placement). In addition to the agency costs, you will need to pay legal fees. Attorney fees vary widely from about $4,000-$15,000.
  • It takes an average of 2-3 years to complete the adoption process.
  • When waiting for a placement, you should be ready with baby stuff, but you should keep it out of sight. Don’t create a baby room. It will remind you of the waiting.
  • Be aware and be emotionally prepared for how long the process can take. Many people wait years.
  • Insurance companies generally do NOT cover adoption expenses. Many people spend over $40,000 to adopt – the price of a new car! Check your employer’s adoption assistance programs and benefits. The government also offers a federal adoptive tax credit. In 2023, the credit was $15,950. This is a tax refund, not a deduction.
  • When considering finances, also have an understanding of your future expenses, such as added costs of groceries, transportation, childcare, and saving for higher education.
  • Do your research and make sure you can cover the adoption expenses or have a plan for it. Be sure to include legal fees on top of the agency fees. You will need a lawyer to get the adoption formalized through the state. Evaluate your finances and research additional resources, such as grants, personal loans, and fundraising.

Questions to consider:

  • Domestic or international adoption? Adopting a newborn is only possible domestically. You will receive a more comprehensive medical history with domestic adoptions. Many adoptive parents who don’t want contact with the birth parents choose to adopt internationally.
  • Foster system – This is the most affordable path to adoption, but does not always guarantee a permanent placement.
  • How much do you want to know about the child prior to adoption? Open adoptions grant adoptive parents access to more background information about the child’s family and provide an opportunity to ask questions.
  • Private agency vs. independent adoption – you can go through an agency and have someone do most of the work for you, or you can try to find your own “match”

This chart is 10 years old, but gives a better picture of the breakdown of costs.

TED Health – The bias behind your undiagnosed chronic pain

Studies have shown that, regardless of insurance and income status, racial and ethnic minorities received worse care. When it comes to pain, research shows that bias extends beyond minorities to include women and even children.

  • Pain is often dismissed. Many women are told the pain is “all in their heads.” Pain is in everyone’s heads because pain can’t take place without our brain.
  • Not all pain is related to tissue damage. You can have real pain with no physical injury or source. Pain can’t be measured by a lab test.
  • Pain is subjective and doctors must begin by identifying its source. When there is no source, it becomes open to interpretation, which becomes open to implicit bias.

Women are more likely than men to be prescribed anti-anxiety medicines than painkillers when complaining of the same pain as men do. Clinicians often suggest psychosocial causes or stress for women when they order lab tests for men with the exact same symptoms.

What can be done? We can begin by identifying our stereotypes and rewrite the stories of the people we meet. Are you treating men and women differently? Are you treating different cultures or races differently?

Physicians, make sure you aren’t writing a story that the patient hasn’t told you yet. It is your duty to replace the undiagnosed bias with empathy.

Finding the right doctor may feel a bit like dating. You may need to swipe through a few to find the right one for you.

The VeryWell Mind Podcast – Friday Fix: The Best Tool for When You Feel Overwhelmed

There are always going to be multiple things vying for your attention, especially in the age of social media and phone notifications. You will always also have your own personal to-do list.

Stop underestimating how long a task is going to take. We consistently underestimate and then get frustrated when we don’t get everything done that we want to get done.

Prioritize what should get done first. Our attention is often drawn to time-sensitive tasks that are less urgent. When you’re busy and overwhelmed, you’re likely to prioritize other tasks that come along with other tight deadlines because you’re already feeling busy. When you feel frenzied, you’d do frenzied things. Introduce rational thinking into the mix with the Eisenhower Matrix. Sort tasks by urgency and importance.

People tend to do the fastest tasks first. People might do urgent things first even though they don’t need to get done. It’s easy to get distracted by the new tasks that come in even though they don’t need to get done.

Life Kit – Ultra-processed foods are everywhere. Here’s how to avoid them
  • Pick up a packaged food at the supermarket and you’ll start to notice the same things: high levels of salt and fat, added sugars, added colorings, added flavors, hydrolyzed protein isolates, high fructose corn syrup, bulking agents like maltodextrin, etc.
  • Read the ingredient list! Ignore the health claims and read the ingredient list instead. If it includes ingredients you don’t recognize and wouldn’t have in your kitchen, it’s usually an ultra-processed food.
  • Overconsumption of ultra-processed foods results in increased risk of type 2 diabetes, obesity, hypertension, dying from cardiovascular disease, dying prematurely from all causes. These foods tend to have a lot of added salt, sugar, and fat.
  • Ultra-processed foods can result in not eating enough fiber. Many ultra-processed foods have added sugars that aren’t needed.
  • If you like salty, crunchy snacks, think about nuts (good source of fats, proteins, and fiber). If you love breakfast cereals, look for something with protein and fiber and fewer ingredients. If you like yogurt, look for something with low or no added sugar and add some berries to sweeten it or look for something with added protein.
  • Cooking more from scratch is a better option to avoid ultra-processed foods. Focus on things you know you should be eating more of, such as fruits and vegetables. For canned vegetables, you can rinse them and let them drain to reduce sodium.
  • Truefood.tech – this is a neat website where you can look up food brands and see how processed your food is. It will also suggest less processed alternatives.
  • Aim to fill your diet with fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, and some dairy (unless you have allergies). 80/20 Rule- 80% of the time, aim to eat clean.
Frugal Friends Podcast – What We’ve Learned From 75+ Real People Budgets
  • Stay out of the grocery store. Order your groceries online to prevent impulse purchases. If you shop in store, commit to only going once each week. If you forget an ingredient, go without. This will prevent impulse purchases.
  • Check your calendar before you make a budget.
  • Track all of your expenses!
  • Limit time on social media. People use it to highlight what they don’t have and are more likely to make impulse purchases. You’re only seeing the best of the best, not people’s physical, emotional, mental, or relationship stress when it comes to finances.
  • Remember that different people may have different priorities than you do. Their financial situation might look better, but it may not be better for you. Ex: working long hours, having a family, debt, etc.
The Accidental Creative with Todd Henry – Managing Expectations (For Yourself and Your Team)
  • Team members may resent one another and be unable to articulate why. In reality, it’s because there are unmet expectations that may have never been spoken. This doesn’t have to be related to work; it can happen in your personal life, too.
  • Think about a moment in your life when you’ve experienced conflict. How much of the conflict was sourced in expectations that you had of the other person? Were those expectations ever communicated to the other person? The majority of conflict in the workplace is the result of missed expectations. Someone expects something from a team member, customer, or stakeholder, but the expectation was never clearly communicated and agreed to by the other party.
  • We often hold grudges of which the other party is completely oblivious. These corrode our ability to collaborate.
  • Have you communicated your expectations in a clear and empathetic way? Don’t carry the pointless burden of the unmet expectations of others. There’s enough on your plate!
  • On a personal level, you probably have expectations of yourself that you aren’t even aware of. Learn to make agreements with yourself that you can actually keep. Many of us make agreements not based on what we think we should do, but what others think we should do. Identify agreements that you have made with yourself that you may be unaware of.
  • Many creatives live with perpetual guilt because they feel they aren’t doing enough, they’re failing by some arbitrary metric, or feel like they’re falling behind because they’re letting other people establish what getting ahead looks like. They believe they aren’t disciplined because they’re living by someone else’s metric. Who set that metric? Who decided what success or failure looks like for you?
  • What do you truly expect yourself to deliver on today? Do you have an accurate assessment of expectations for yourself? Are you living according to someone else’s metrics? Don’t allow others to “ought” and “should” you into feeling guilty about your level of discipline.
  • Assess, commit, and achieve. Discipline is making a commitment with yourself and keeping it.
  • Leadership is about risk mitigation. Great leaders understand that the goal is to accomplish what they can while mitigating the potential downside – keeping the team in the game.
  • Because of the risk involved, many leaders become less than clear about their expectations for the work or for the team. They may speak in vague terms or give opaque direction because they themselves are not certain of the right decision. They want to project themselves into a situation and protect themselves from a mistake, so they lack precision when they communicate. A few team dynamics emerge. Team members wait until you tell them what to do before actually starting their work. Dissonance emerges as each team member interprets what you want, sometimes leading to misalignment and disjointedness among those responsible for executing the work. Dissonance is a gap between the “why” and the “what.” Team members need leaders to be precise about expectations. You need to be clear even when you are uncertain.
  • Aim to use precise language and precise expectations – be clear about what you want, when you want it, who will do it, why it matters, and what the outcome will be if you are successful. All effective expectations include assignment of responsibility, articulation of a timeline, and accountability for results. If your expectations don’t include all three, you aren’t being precise enough.
  • Aim for precise objectives. Where are you leading the team? How will you know you’ve arrived? Why will any of it matter in the long run? Team members need to know that you have clear objectives in mind, you are aware of the obstacles you are going to encounter, and you have a plan to overcome them. You must be clear about where you are leading the team in spite of your personal insecurities.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Simple Path to Wealth

amybenoit

“The Simple Path to Wealth” was a very interesting, educational, easy read written by JL Collins, author of the blog jlcollinsnh.com. This was an excellent book I read as part of a book club I’m in. This book contained so much useful information and emphasized Vanguard as a stellar option for investments due to low fees and the self-cleansing Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund (VTSAX).

Main take-aways:

Seek the least house to meet your needs rather than the most house you can technically afford.

The Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund (VTSAX) holds about 3,500 companies and is self-cleansing. The expense ratio is only 0.04% and it is low-maintenance.

International funds are an added risk with added expense and are already covered with VTSAX (U.S. and international businesses). If you still want international funds with Vanguard, you can include VFWAX, VTIAX, or VTWSX.

Target retirement funds (portfolios based on the year you plan to retire) are also an option, although expense ratios are higher (0.14%-0.16%).

3 tools: stocks (VTSAX), bonds (VBTLX), and cash. You can do 100% stocks now (VTSAX) and then later include bonds.

If there is no VTSAX option for your retirement account, look for a low-cost index fund or target retirement fund.

With Vanguard, you own your mutual funds – and through them – Vanguard itself. It operates at cost, resulting in lower expense ratios. There are no shareholders to pay, and no one at Vanguard has access to your money.

Why most people lose $ in the market:

  • We think we can time the market.
  • We believe we can pick individual stocks.
  • We believe we can pick winning mutual fund managers. 82% failed to outperform the unmanaged index in 2013. Only about 1% of active traders outperform the market.

Downsides of having an advisor:

  • Cost
  • Drawn not to the best investments, but to those that pay the highest commissions and management fees
  • Assets under management (AUM) fees cost you a lot in terms of compounding.

You are considered financially independent and ready to retire if you have saved 25x your annual expenses. Let’s say you pay a 1% management fee in retirement (most advisors actually charge more than 1%). If you are living on 4% of your retirement funds each year (the recommended amount), your advisor is costing you at least a full 25% of your income!

Using the 4% model, you may want to have a balance of 50% stocks and 50% bonds. 96% of the time, you will be able to live off of 4% each year for 30 years without fees. If you are paying a 1% fee, this drops to an 84% success rate. If you are paying a 2% fee, this drops to a 65% success rate. The solution is to have more cash saved, withdraw 3% of less, and be open to working part-time or relocate to save money. Do not set up an automatic 4% withdrawal plan! Instead, withdraw as needed.

A 401(k) or IRA is generally better than a Roth IRA. If you put $5,000 into a Roth IRA at a 25% tax bracket, you’d need $6,250. If you fund a 401(k) or IRA instead of a Roth IRA, you would still have the $1,250 to invest and would have huge returns over the years. Fully fund a Roth IRA only if your income is low enough that you’re paying little or no income tax.

When you leave a job, roll over your 401(k) or 403b into a personal IRA.

You are required to take minimum distributions at age 70 1/2 for your IRA/401(k)/403b. Shift your IRA to a Roth IRA to decrease the minimum distributions. Also, fully fund your HSA if you have one because it grows tax-free.

When I was reading this book, I had Roth IRA funds with an advisor that was charging over 1.25% in assets under management (AUM) fees + portfolio fees, and I didn’t even get to pick my investments! My money was not performing well with the portfolios he selected. I also had old 401(k)s with former employers.

Months after reading this book and researching on my own, I decided to combine my old 401(k)s into an IRA at Vanguard and I also transferred my Roth IRA to Vanguard. Through the conversion process, I learned the investments the advisor previously selected were awful, had high expenses, and probably resulted in high commissions, I had to pay various conversion fees to get out of those portfolios, and I transferred everything I previously had over to VTSAX with Vanguard. I also have a retirement savings plan with my current employer that is NOT at Vanguard.

My funds have been performing really well and I am on my way to achieving a big financial goal in the next year or two: have the equivalent of my annual salary saved for retirement (a goal many experts say you should achieve by age 30). I am behind according to experts, but I am grateful for the progress I have made and especially grateful for the low-maintenance portfolio with minimal expenses that Vanguard offers.

This educational video covers VTSAX.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 15, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self Improvement Daily- Breaking Down Productivity

The word productivity is a combination of two words: productive activity. It’s to be active in productive ways. ‘Productive’ is simply having the high ability to produce. To produce what? Society and culture have taught us that we must always be thinking about producing results, revenue, and efficiencies. Can’t we also choose to produce joy, presence, mindfulness, and connection?

You get to decide for yourself what you want to produce. It’s your life, your time, and your attention. Productivity is actually just “doing the things you want to be doing.”

Productivity = Productive activity = Doing things that produce the results you want = Doing the things you want to be doing.

The next time you feel down on yourself for not checking things off of your never-ending to-do list over the weekend, reframe your mind and consider that productivity is doing the things you want to be doing. Resting and hanging out with friends could still be productive; you are taking care of yourself and growing strong relationships with people you care about. If that is what you want to be doing, you were productive!

Small Change – 10 Signs You Might Be Financially Immature
  1. You act aggressively when someone asks you about your money.
  2. You are dismissive of others’ success.
  3. You spend when you are depressed.
  4. You tend to look at the individual spending of your partner rather than simply being concerned with how much is being spent. If the “what” is more important than the amount, you may be financially immature.
  5. You are unable to get excited by saving for a big goal. “We can’t do that. That’s crazy.”
  6. You have avoided looking at a bank statement for months.
  7. You fear tax time.
  8. You gloat at parties about your investments that you haven’t actually made or lie about the investments you have.
  9. You are too conscious about the brands you are wearing.
  10. You use spending as a cure for boredom.
Savvy Psychologist- 6 skills of mindfulness you may be missing
  • Observe. Pay attention to your environment and your internal experiences without judgment. This entails wordless watching and being fully present in the moment, observing your thoughts and feelings as they come and go, and noticing the world around you without trying to change it. Use your five senses.
  • Describe. Put your observations into words. Describe your experiences objectively without adding your own interpretations or judgments. Describe your observations from your five senses.
  • Participate. Be fully present and engaged in the present moment. Let go of distractions and focus on the task at hand, whether that be work, hobbies, or relationships.
  • Non-judgmental stance. Accept yourself and others without judgment. Let go of the inner monologue and distorted interpretations. Instead, practice self-compassion and understanding. Cultivate an attitude of acceptance and openness. Let go of the evaluative judgments we often make.
  • One-mindfully. Focus on one moment, task, or thought at a time. Let go of distractions and multi-tasking and focus your attention on the present moment.
  • Effectiveness. Focus on what works in a given situation rather than what is “right or wrong.” Let go of rigid thinking and embrace a more flexible and adaptive mindset. Focus on the outcomes you want to achieve and explore different ways of achieving them. Do what works, not necessarily what you prefer.
FIRE the Family Podcast – 22 Actionable Ways to Invest in Yourself
  1. Go to college. Don’t go into extreme debt to go to college. Be wise and research what your expected income will be before taking out several loans.
  2. Join the military.
  3. Go to a trade school.
  4. Get a job. There’s no better way than to find out what you like and don’t like doing.
  5. Learn how to cook. It increases your independence and reduces your expenses of eating out.
  6. Learn how to exercise properly. You will feel better about yourself and your health, live longer, and improve your mental health.
  7. Open a brokerage account. VTSAX is a great investment.
  8. Join a local young-professional networking group.
  9. Implement an every-dollar budget.
  10. Ask your parents and grandparents for advice. Pick their brains and learn everything you can.
  11. Find the person you want to spend your life with.
  12. Get out there and fail. You learn from failing.
  13. Run a half marathon. It requires a lot of discipline, preparation, and time.
  14. Identify your mentors.
  15. Develop an inner circle.
  16. Cut out negativity. Set proper boundaries for yourself and your family.
  17. Develop SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound).
  18. Explore materialism and minimalism.
  19. Continue to find ways to compete.
  20. Practice not judging others. Then you will learn to stop judging yourself.
  21. Start reading. Reading teaches your brain to exercise.
  22. Start an online business.
Life Kit- Planning a trip? Here’s how to pack like a pro
  • You never need as much stuff as you think. Eliminate extra baggage before you leave.
  • Pack and then remove 1/3 of the things you pack.
  • Reduce the weight with lightweight versions of what you need and with items that serve multiple purposes.
  • Use packing cubes (lightweight, expandable, zip-up pouches that save space).
  • Lighten your load of liquid toiletries. There are solid versions of items that don’t weigh as much. Use powders, not pastes. Use dry shampoo instead of the real stuff. Leave liquids at home if you can. Most of the time, you can pick up the things you need while on the road, except the things you can’t find everywhere: sunscreen, bug spray, bug bite relief, hair conditioner, and tampons.
  • Do a simple scope out of your destination with reliable sources, not sponsored content.
  • Match your activity plans to the weather forecast. Check a destination’s average monthly weather patterns in advance.
  • Always have a rain jacket, umbrella, or something to cover your backpack.
  • When traveling for leisure, one main event each day is enough. Don’t overbook activities. Build complementary activities around it or leave room for discovery and the unexpected.
Self Care IRL- Listen to this if you are an overthinker
  • Recognize when you are actually overthinking. Identify the thoughts or situations that are triggering it. Shift your mind back to the present.
  • Journal. Writing down things can help you identify patterns in your thinking. Sometimes you can look back and see that you were overly concerned about something that didn’t end up mattering or turning out the way you worried it would.
  • Give yourself time to calm down and relax before addressing any situation. Try to immediately do things that help you to relax or bring you joy.
  • Talk to someone about the situation. Getting another perspective can help you see things more clearly. Talking about your overthinking can help reduce its frequency and intensity.
  • Learn to focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past or the future. This can help you be more aware of your thoughts and feelings.
  • Practice forgiveness for your past self. When we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of overthinking the past, we are stuck there and that prevents us from moving forward in a healthy way. Remember that you are a human first and you will make mistakes. Perfection does not exist. You deserve forgiveness.
  • Think positively for your future self. Think about all of the ways that things could go right. Expand on the beautiful possibilities and let those things lift you up. Reframe your mind when you are worried about what could go wrong, and think about what could go right.
  • Remember that overthinking has never helped us. It hasn’t been serving us the way we think it has.

I am currently reading “Keep Sharp” by Sanjay Gupta, a book about the brain and slowing cognitive decline. Here are some tidbits I have learned so far:

You probably know the five senses: sight (ophthalmoception), smell (olfacoception), taste (gustaoception), touch (tactioception), and hearing (audioception). There are six other senses processed in the brain that give us more data about the outside world:

  • proprioception: a sense of where your body parts are and what they’re doing
  • equilibrioception: a sense of balance/your internal GPS. This tells you if you’re sitting, standing, or lying down. It’s located in the inner ear.
  • nociception: a sense of pain.
  • themo(re)ception: a sense of temperature
  • chronoception: a sense of the passage of time
  • interoception: a sense of your internal needs, like hunger, thirst, and needing to use the bathroom

The 5 pillars of brain health:

  • Move – exercise; aerobic and nonaerobic
  • Discover – pick up a new hobby, do something new, or learn something new
  • Relax – unwind, engage in stress-reducing activities
  • Nourish – consuming certain foods like cold-water fish, whole grains, extra virgin olive oil, nuts and seeds, fibrous whole fruits and vegetables, while limiting foods high in sugar, saturated fat, and trans-fatty acids can help avoid memory and brain decline, protect the brain against disease, and maximize its performance
  • Connect – having a diverse social network can improve our brain’s plasticity and help preserve our cognitive abilities

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Upstarts (Airbnb & Uber)

amybenoit

“The Upstarts” written by Brad Stone is a fascinating book about the history of Airbnb and Uber and the challenges the companies faced along the way. This was selected as a Best Book of the Year by the Washington Post, Forbes, the New Republic, The Economist, Bloomberg, and Gizmodo.

Airbnb can be considered the biggest hotel company on the planet, yet it possesses no actual hotel rooms. For most of its first year, Airbnb was a side project that many dismissed as wildly outlandish. After 8 years, investors valued the company at $30 billion, more than any hotel chain in the world! It is now valued at $73 billion.

Uber is among the world’s largest car services, yet it doesn’t employ any professional drivers. Uber’s potential was underestimated and thought to be just for San Francisco, but the valuation is now $77 billion, more than any other privately held startup company in the world! Uber brings new transportation options to low-income neighborhoods that aren’t served well by yellow taxis. It creates flexible jobs for the unemployed, immigrants, and students looking to finance their education.

History:

Airbnb’s first rental was on October 16, 2007 during the World Design Conference in San Francisco, in which an airbed was rented for $80/night. This was when the website was a Free WordPress site: airbedandbreakfast.com. On New Year’s Eve in 2015, Airbnb booked 550,000 guests. On New Year’s Eve in 2016, Airbnb booked a whopping 1 million guests!

Uber is the partial result of research completed by Tim Ferriss. Tim researched comparable services, market, logistics, feasibility, and cab-industry dynamics and reported to Garrett Camp.

Some investors:

Some Airbnb investors include Jeff Bezos and Ashton Kutcher.

Some Uber investors include Chris Sacca, Ashton Kutcher, Jay Z, and Britney Spears. Chris Sacca was the earliest angel backer and invested $300k

Challenges:

Uber sidestepped laws requiring professional drivers to undergo rigorous training/fingerprint-based background checks and expensive government-issued chauffeur licenses. It faced resistance from taxi companies.

Airbnb is criticized for worsening the housing shortage, driving up housing costs, skirting hotel taxes, and violating short-term rental laws in some cities.

Concerns:

Airbnb concerns include safety, international competition, regulation, and executive recruitment.

Uber concerns include surge pricing to increase the number of rides and UberX to help Uber drivers finance the least of a new vehicle.

The cover of this book featured a wave. I love this quote explaining the cover:

“If you want to build a truly great company, you have got to ride a really big wave. And you’ve got to be able to look at market waves and technology waves in a different way than other folks and see it happening sooner, know how to position yourself out there, prepare yourself, pick the right surfboard – in other words, bring the right management team in, built the right platform underneath you. Only then can you ride a truly great wave. At the end of the day, without that great wave, even if you are a great entrepreneur, you are not going to build a really great business.”

This book was a fascinating read!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 8, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Sad to Savage- Habits I Do On Vacation & Reflecting on Turning 26

In this episode, Shelby was reflecting on turning 26 and asked herself these reflection questions. I think these are great for anytime, especially for a personal growth mindset!

Ask yourself:

  • Who is she?
  • What does she say to herself?
  • How does she describe herself?
  • What does her day look like?
  • What are her daily habits?
  • Where does she live?
  • What does she do for work?
  • What does her work day look like?
  • What makes her feel good?
  • When does she work out?
  • How does she view nutrition?
  • Who does she surround herself with?
  • What are the daily choices that she makes?
  • What are the choices that she makes on the weekend?
  • What is she doing to get 1% better?
  • What is her favorite way to habit stack?
  • What is her morning routine?
  • What is her nighttime routine?
  • What is she working towards?
  • What are her top 3 goals, and what are 3 daily habits she can do to help her work towards those goals?
  • What is one area she wants to improve in?
Mental Performance Daily- How Are You vs. What Are You?

Instead of asking yourself how you are doing, ask what you are doing. What should I be doing right now? What is the best use of my time, energy, effort, and focus right now? How I am doing is hit or miss, up and down as part of the human condition. Asking yourself what you are doing is going to help you perform at an elite level; comparing what you are doing vs. what you should be doing.

Optimal Living Daily- Breaking the Dependency to My Phone by Mollie of This EverGreen Home
  • Use social media less frequently. Set a daily time limit. You can use apps to limit your screen time.
  • Check e-mail at designated times.
  • Track your app usage.
  • Find a home base for your phone so it isn’t always next to you.
  • Turn off notifications.
  • Begin a new behavior. Ex: instead of browsing on your phone, read a book.
  • Turn on do not disturb.
How to Be a Better Human- What we can learn from great salespeople (w/ Colin Coggins)

Everyone is either selling an idea, themselves, or a product or a service.

  • The greatest sellers on the planet create agency with the person they are speaking with so that they feel like they are part of the decision-making process.
  • Acknowledge what’s happening in real life. That’s what sales is about.
  • You want people to look for the good in you and believe in you. That doesn’t happen unless you can reciprocate that.
  • Realize that who people hope you are and who people expect you are are two different things. People hope you’re like them.
  • The next time you go into a meeting, spend three minutes thinking about three things that you could love about this person.
  • What you get paid to do and what you love doing aren’t always the same thing, but a lot of times there are areas in what you get paid to do that you do love – like the stuff you would do for free. Isolate what you love. See if you can delegate or avoid the things that you don’t love.
The Savvy Psychologist- 7 types of rest you’ve been missing

Physical rest (passive and active)– sleeping, napping, FOLLOW A SLEEP PROTOCOL/EVENING ROUTINE, stretching, yoga, breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, hot baths, massages. Watch out for signs that you need physical rest, such as lacking energy to make it through the day, feeling tired but having difficulty falling asleep, reliance on substances to give you energy, and depending on substances to give you more rest.

Mental rest– mental fatigue can result from a variety of things, including negative self-talk, rumination, anxious what-if thinking, being stuck in the past, and judgments. Signs that you may need mental rest include irritability and decreased frustration tolerance, avoiding activities, feeling like you’re in a mental fog throughout the day, and feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks. One way to ease the mental load is through good time management skills. Take into account not only the amount of time a task takes, but the emotional load it takes as well. Another way to give yourself mental rest is through meditation.

Emotional rest– where are you spending your emotional energy? Frustration, anxiety, inadequacy, sadness, annoyance, etc. Some signs you may be experiencing an emotional rest deficit include beating ourselves up for small mistakes, excessive worry or anxiety, feelings of self-doubt, and over apologizing. Be mindful of your environment and the things/people that drain you and restore you. Emotions are contagious. Modify your environments the best you can. Emotional awareness is key to identifying emotional drains and emotional restores. Reduce the amount of social comparisons that you do.

Spiritual rest– organized religious practices, connecting with something greater than yourself, prayer, feeling a sense of belonging by getting involved with your community, meditation, things that bring you a sense of purpose and make you feel connected

Social rest– A social rest deficit occurs when we fail to differentiate between relationships that restore us and relationships that drain us. It can also occur when we are engaging in too much or too little social interaction. Signs you have a social rest deficit include feeling alone, feeling detached, finding it hard to maintain close relationships, isolating from others, or finding that you are attracted to those that mistreat you. Identify your social needs. If you are introverted and have a customer-facing job, allow yourself alone time to recharge at the end of the day. Listen to your social needs and stop comparing yourself to others. Be present and show up in your social networks. This will aid in deepening relationships and feeling more connected. Find like-minded individuals who share some of your hobbies. Join a group.

Sensory rest– giving your senses a break- overwhelming senses with constant stimuli. Spend some time away from your electronics. Read a physical book instead. Turn off the lights. Listen to your senses and give the ones that appear agitated a break.

Creative rest– if you’ve ever felt like you’re out of good ideas, you’ve experienced being creatively drained. Creativity is about our ability to be innovative, think outside the box, or be inventive. People require creative rest when they feel stuck, uninspired, and unable to generate new ideas or solutions to problems. The key here is to remove the requirement to produce and get involved with activities that inspire you. Make time for the things you don’t normally make time for to refill your creative cup.

How I Built This with Guy Raz- Angie’s Boomchickapop: Angie & Dan Bastian

I was eager to learn more about Angie’s Boomchickapop, as their sweet and salty kettle corn is my favorite store-bought popcorn!! They also originated in my home state of Minnesota.

Beginnings:

  • Neither Dan nor Angie ever had a particular love for popcorn initially. They needed a way to earn extra money to save for their kids’ college funds, and popping and selling kettle corn seemed like a reasonable way to do it. In 2001, after Dan saw an internet ad for kettle corn equipment, he convinced Angie that they should go for it. They started in their garage in Mankato, Minnesota.
  • They bought a kit using a 0% interest credit card. The kit included a tent, outdoor kettle, and table and paid $8k or $10k. Of note, the kit did not have instructions!
  • Dan was working as a teacher and Angie was working as a nurse at the time.
  • Rainbow Foods was the first place that allowed them to sell it (in front of the door outside) in November 2001. They were limited because they had to pop outdoors due to propane with the kettle. They took 1 hour to set up, bagged using twist-tie bags, and sold $300 of kettle corn.
  • Their business was originally called Kettle Corn Café.
  • Coworkers and students were surprised to see them on the weekends with their kettle corn business.

Growth:

  • In 2002, they started to sell outside of the Minnesota Vikings training camp and gave some free popcorn to the players.
  • The players loved it, but Dan and Angie realized that they would need to pay for a sponsorship fee to be the Minnesota Vikings’ preferred popcorn! They paid an $8k sponsorship fee.
  • Dan quit his job in 2003 after 2 years in the business to focus on the popcorn business.
  • Lunds and Byerlys was interested but wanted them to get their act together for selling. They needed to find a facility, different packaging, etc.
  • They bought a small kitchen 6 months later and moved operation indoors, got the kitchen licensed, and launched 6 months later with a new brand name: Angie’s.
  • They found 2 retired teachers willing to help out and paid $8 an hour for BOTH of them.

Challenges:

  • During their first 7 years, they were buried further and further into debt.
  • They weren’t profitable at first. They used funds to buy a trailer, a heater, and other items. Everything seemed to go back into the business.
  • In 2008, they had to get a million-dollar loan to get a bigger facility to ramp up production. They had debt and didn’t really have collateral and were turned down for a loan by many banks. They had about 20 employees at the time.
  • They eventually found a partner who gave them a line of credit using personal guarantees (home, future earnings – everything but the mini van).

Expansion:

  • In 2008, after years of persistence, they got into Trader Joes after sending products to a contact. Trader Joes put in an order for 25 trucks ($500k worth) that would be distributed across the country to Trader Joes. Jon and Angie didn’t have enough money to buy the materials for this order, so they ordered a new credit card with a $100k line of credit and requested an immediate wire transfer!
  • Due to popularity, Trader Joes came back with another order of 25 truckloads. The business needed to scale up quickly and hire more people.
  • In 2009, revenue was $3-$4 million.
  • In 2011, outside investment firm, Sherbrooke Capital, made an offer and acquired a majority stake in Angie’s.
  • In 2011, Angie’s was in the natural and organic snack section in Costco, Target, and regional grocery chains and was doing very well. Angie’s started with kettle corn but wanted to expand through providing different flavors, messaging, and branding.
  • Dan’s cell phone was on every package because that was the business phone and he received several phone calls at all hours asking if the product is gluten-free. So they decided to get certified gluten-free.
  • Also in 2011, they went to a branding agency to come up with a new name. Boomchickapop, the new name, launched in 2012. It was the first non-GMO branded popcorn on the market. The yellow bags of sea salt popcorn were the #1 selling SKU in four months – after 9 years of business.

$$$:

  • In 2014, TPG Growth, a private equity firm, bought out Sherbrooke. Boomchickapop equity shares became liquid to staff. They distributed millions of dollars! Between 2014 and 2017, Dan and Angie sold a big share of their ownership to TPG Growth.
  • In 2017, 16 years after the business started, ConAgra bought out Boomchickapop for $250 million! When ConAgra bought the company in 2017, they also acquired the old kettle originally bought in 2001.
  • They never imagined they would make it that far with their initial investment.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

amybenoit

“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is a very interesting and educational book written by Stephen R. Covey. I highly recommend this book and am certain everyone can get something out of this book.

Habit 1: Be Proactive

How often do you use and hear reactive phrases such as “If only,” “I can’t,” or “I have to?”

Use your R & I! Use your resourcefulness and initiative when problems arise!

Problems = direct control vs. indirect control vs. no control

  • Direct control problems are solved by working on our habits.
  • Indirect control problems are solved by changing our methods of influence.
  • No control problems involve taking the responsibility to change the line on the bottom of our face — to smile, to genuinely and peacefully acccept these problems and learn to live with them.

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

Viktor Frankl

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind.

Picture your funeral. What would your family, friends, coworkers, and church members or community say about you? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions or achievements would you want them to remember? What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

Habit 3: Put first things first.

The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. Many expectations are implicit. They haven’t been explicitly stated or announced. It is important to state expectations.

Many people refuse to delegate to other people because they feel it takes too much time and effort and they could do the job better themselves. Transferring responsibility to other skilled and trained people enables you to give your energies to other high-leverage activities. Delegation means growth, both for individuals and for organizations.

You can’t think efficiency with people. You think effectiveness with people and efficiency with things.

Stephen R. Covey

Habit 4: Think win-win.

Win/win = a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all interactions. Seek to understand, identify the key issues and concerns, determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution, and identify possible new options and achieve those results.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Most people listen with the intent to reply.

Continuous deposits are needed. 6 major deposits: understanding the individual, attending to the little things, keeping commitments, clarifying expectations, showing personal integrity, apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal.

Habit 6: Synergize.

As a principle-centered person, you try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on you and evaluate the options. Looking at the needs that may be involved and the possible implications of various alternative decisions, you’ll try to come up with the best solution, taking all factors into consideration.

The person who doesn’t read is no better off than the person who can’t read.

Stephen R. Covey

Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.

Stephen R. Covey

Habit 7: Sharpen the saw.

Life life in crescendo. The most important work you will ever do is always ahead of you. Regardless of what you have or haven’t accomplished, you have important contributions to make.

What one thing could you do that, if you did it on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your personal life? What one thing in your business or professional life would bring similar results?

4 dimensions of renewal

Daily Private Victory- Spend a minimum of one hour a day in renewal of the physical, spiritual, and mental dimensions. This is the key to developing the 7 habits.

I highly recommend this book!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!