Tag: #jayshetty

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 27, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Optimal Relationships Daily – When Your Expectations of Others is Making You Frustrated
  • Our expectations of others often cause our own struggles and frustrations. The frustrations with others are caused by our own expectations. We want people to behave differently than they do, and we get frustrated when they don’t act the way we want them to.
  • Without the expectations, we could be happy and at peace. We could see the good in others instead of only how they fall short of our expectations.
  • Think of the expectations you have of others as an imaginary bubble you’ve created and pop the bubble! Without the bubble, you are free of expectations! What is the other person like without your expectations of them?
  • Practice compassion for others. They are probably reacting in a habitual way from fear and pain.
  • Don’t take anything personally. Whatever the person does is about them.

I came across this poem this week and it resonated with me.

Let Them Poem By Cassie Phillips
“Let Them” by Cassie Phillips

“Just Let Them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.

If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.

If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.
So let them.
Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.
Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.

Let them have a safe place in you.

Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.

Let them love you.”

You have to accept yourself just as you are without having to make changes for others. If you feel that you have to change to maintain a relationship, and if that change is always one-sided, that relationship may need to be given consideration.

You deserve to be valued and to feel valued. You are the only one who has control of you unless you give that control away to someone else. Have a big conversation with yourself about where those boundaries need to be. Self-care involves putting yourself and your considerations at the top of the pile. If others aren’t doing it, you must do it.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty – If You’ve Been Feeling Drained…Listen To This
  • Studies show that we have 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day and 80% of those are negative or repetitive.
  • Principle 1: Accept and action – acceptance followed up by an action. Ex: I’m really drained, and so… I’ll go to bed early tonight. I’m really drained, and so… I’ll cancel going to that event this weekend.
  • Stop ignoring your repetitive thoughts, feelings, and emotions. They are repeating for a reason. They want you to pay attention.
  • Principle 2: You don’t always have to be at 100% energy. Be able to say to yourself and to others why you aren’t at 100% and be able to communicate your challenges. When can you be at 50% energy, and what does it look like in communicating that? How can you give your best tasks your best energy? Time block.
  • Principle 3: It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to cancel social events or to decline. Burnout, exhaustion, and feeling drained are not worth anything.
  • Principle 4: Stress is when you are demanding too much of your body and mind. Be strategic with your time. Ask yourself whether it is necessary to take something on right now. Which of your meetings can be solved with an e-mail?
  • Principle 5: Have a reset day, hour, or half-day. Make it a perfect day. Carve out time that’s fully under your control.
  • Principle 6: Be kind to yourself. When you are feeling drained, ask yourself how you can be kinder to yourself. The voice in our head is often criticizing ourselves about how we can be and do better. If we are stressing ourselves, we are draining ourselves from within. If you were kinder to yourself, what do you believe you would achieve?
  • Principle 7: Allow yourself to vent and let it out. When you talk about stress with the right people, it makes you feel lighter. Let that stress out. Distance yourself from the stressor if you can.
  • Principle 8: Get restful sleep. So often we are trying to solve something in our mind when we need to solve it in our body. If you’re struggling with your body, figure out what you can change in your mind. Sleep, diet, exercise, hydration, and stress management are all important in managing burnout.
  • Principle 9: Wash your mind the night before. What do you want to leave behind today? What are you going to wash away today? Wash your mind the night before and leave the draining behind.

I really liked this post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/running-its-course

Running Its Course

June 25, 2024

Things don’t run their course. The band, the relationship, the project.

We simply decide to stop putting the necessary energy into it to keep them going.

Things don’t have an inherent course of their own. And things don’t have an opinion or get tired or burnt out or lazy or lose interest or get a new dream or desire.

People do.

So when the thing is over let’s be honest about why it’s over. It isn’t the thing’s or the course’s decision.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – May 23, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast – 7 Steps to Increase & Boost Your Metabolism

Your metabolism determines how many calories you burn. Here are some tips to boost your metabolism.

  • Allow yourself to go through different phases of the journey.
  • Focus on building high quality muscle.
  • Stay active. Incorporate physical activity into your daily routine.
  • Increase protein intake. Protein requires more energy to digest compared to carbs or fat. Include protein-rich foods such as lean meats, fish, eggs, dairy, legumes, and nuts in your diet.
  • Stay hydrated. Drinking enough water is essential for a healthy metabolism.
  • Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep can disrupt your metabolism and lead to weight gain.
  • Manage stress. Chronic stress can lead to hormonal imbalances that can slow down your metabolism.
  • Remember that individual metabolism can vary based on factors such as age, genetics, and body composition. Focus on overall health and well-being rather than solely on boosting metabolism for weight loss.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty – 10 Steps on How To Set Boundaries Without Offending People
  • Often our definition of someone being a good human being is someone who doesn’t have boundaries. Our definition of what it means to be a good human needs to change at the core.
  • Boundaries are about what we need for ourselves, not what we want or don’t want from others.
  • We think boundaries are protecting us from other people, but boundaries are protecting ourselves from ourselves. We can’t control anyone else’s actions, but we can control our own.
  • Set up “If” scenarios to set boundaries. If this… then this. Clearly communicate your boundaries.
  • You can justify your choice to yourself, but you don’t need to justify your choice to others.
  • How can you be honest, kind, and empathetic to their reaction? It’s okay to recognize that someone else has their own values about your situation. Be open to the idea that not everyone will agree with you.
  • Don’t have an expectation of how you want someone else to respond. Don’t project how you process things onto other people. If someone doesn’t act in the way you would or the way you think they should, remember that they are not you, and you are not them.
  • Become certain about your boundaries.
  • Ask yourself these questions when setting a boundary:
    • What is the boundary protecting for you? Is it time? Why is time important for you? Is it an idea you are trying to practice? A mindset you are trying to build?
    • What happens when you don’t follow that boundary? How would your future self feel about it if you forego the boundary?
    • How do you feel when you follow through on the boundary?
  • Plan a buffer. Someone will catch you off guard and ask for something at a time you don’t expect. It’s okay to ask for time or some space.
  • Observe others do uncomfortable things. Everything you admire in someone else is a skill that can be trained and is a life that you can live.
  • Start exposing yourself to simple actions of discomfort: calling to cancel or reschedule an appointment, declining an invite to a friend’s birthday, etc. Allow the exposures to scale. People will be offended and that’s okay.
  • Reset people’s expectations of you. Set boundaries.
The Big Flop – Beanie Babies Go Bust with Ian Karmel and Brian Moller
  • The Beanie Babies craze was in the 1990s. Each had a name, birthdate, and little story attached to them.
    • I used to collect Beanie Babies and even had a special holder made for them. It resembled a coat rack but had little pieces of elastic to hang them on.
  • 1993 – Beanie Babies debuted at the World Toy Fair in New York City and didn’t really take off
  • Scarcity is what set Beanie Babies apart from other stuffed animals.
    • Beanie Babies were “retired” instead of “discontinued” – made it seem like a collector’s item and gave Beanie Babies a feeling of scarcity
    • Not sold in popular retailers like Walmart or Toys R US – favored small independent stores and gift shops
      • The stores that sold them could only offer some of the Beanie Babies, so nobody could get the collection in one place. When people spotted them, they weren’t sure if they would see those Beanie Babies again, so they bought them.
  •  1995 – website was created where you could buy the Beanie Babies and get extra intel, such as an online catalog with more information about the Beanie Babies, upcoming release dates, etc. Some sources cite this as the first business-to-consumer sales site on the internet! Demand is so high around the holidays that Ty, Inc. imported 3 737s full of Beanie Babies from Korea.
  • 1995 – $28million in sales that year
  • Some were sold on Ebay for over $30,000!
  • By 1997, the craze was huge! Newsletters, pricing guides, and fan trivia bubbled up across America.
  • In May of 1997, Beanie collectors spent $500 million on Ebay auctions for Beanie Babies in one month!
  • In October 1997, Ty, Inc. announced they would release a commemorative purple Beanie bear called Princess in honor of the recently deceased Princess Diana. The proceeds would go to Princess Diana’s foundation and were supposed to be sold for $7. Some retailers gouged customers and charged anywhere from $25 to $350 for Princess. Many people were convinced this bear would be worth a fortune someday.
  • A McDonalds employee stole $6k in teenie-Beanies and went to prison and a store clerk in LA was robbed at gunpoint for 40 Beanie Bears.
  • By 1998, 65% of American homes had at least one Beanie Baby. Ty, Inc’s sales were more than $1.4 billion.
  • 1998 – Forbes left Warner off of the Wealthiest Americans to Make Lots of Money list, so he bought a full-page ad in the WSJ to let everyone know that Ty, Inc. made more than $700 million the previous year – more than Hasbro and Mattel combined. In 1999, Forbes listed Warner with an estimated net worth of $4billion.
  • Yet, Lina, the creator of the website and the poems on the tags made $12.50 per hour! She asked for a raise, was denied, and she quit.
  • 3 months before the Christmas shopping season in 1999, Warner announced that all Beanie Babies would be retired on December 31, 1999. It was another marketing stunt to drive up interest and demand. On Christmas Eve, Warner created a poll asking fans to make the decision on whether Beanie Babies would live or die and, in the ultimate money-grabbing move, made people pay money to vote! People aren’t going to pay to vote no.
  • The crazy had clearly passed, which was terrible news for people who had invested heavily in Beanie Babies.
  • By 2002, Warner was worth $6 billion. In 2009, Ty, Inc. attempted to recapture the magic by releasing Beanie Boos – fluffier Beanie Babies with bigger eyes. Nobody wanted to buy them like they did the original Beanies.
  • In 2014, Warner pled guilty to tax evasion and hiding over $20 million from the government due to having a hidden foreign bank account.
  • Ty, Inc. still exists. Ty Inc HQ doesn’t have a sign out front. Ty.com recently announced its line of 30th anniversary commemorative Beanies that look like the originals. You can’t buy them on the website but they will be available at select retailers.

I enjoyed this blog post from Gabe the Bass Player this week:

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/taking-a-shot-on-you

Taking Shot On You

May 16, 2024

“If you’ve had any success there’s probably been a few people who took a shot on you early on…and probably along the way.

And now that you’ve had that success, what would it look like for you to take a shot on someone else?“

I also liked this blog post from Seth’s Blog this week:

The unwarranted smile

The unwarranted smile

“When we do something nice for someone, a ‘thank you’ and a smile is nice to receive. And, in many parts of human culture, it’s a bit expected.

But when something goes wrong, if we drop a plate or miss a turn or make someone late, it’s particularly delightful and memorable if we are greeted warmly instead of stomped on.

The moments when it’s the most difficult to be kind are the moments where it matters the most.”

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – September 28, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

On Purpose with Jay Shetty – My Birthday Episode: 12 Lessons I’ve Learned in the Last 12 Months & Ways You Can Apply Them Into Your Life
  • Be really conscious about who you keep and let go from your life. Just because you have history doesn’t mean you have to force a future. We often feel we have to stay connected to people because we were once connected to them.
  • Take care of your body and mind like your life depends on it – because it does. Helping yourself is a part of helping others. Start with your sleep. If you are sleeping well, you will have the energy to work out and take care of the rest of your health. Jay Shetty prioritizes MEDS for his health: meditation, exercise, diet, and sleep.
  • It’s okay to ask for help or a hug. You help others, so it’s important to recognize when you need help and ask for help.
  • Don’t buy into your own hype. Stay connected to where you started and remain a humble student of life.
  • People will always try to tear you down no matter how good your intentions are. Consider what you can learn from criticisms. Ask those who truly know you for their feedback.
  • Different levels come with different problems. No amount of money or fame will solve all of your problems. When you’re struggling, find a book or podcast about that problem and learn about how to resolve it. Immerse yourself in learning to overcome that problem.
  • As you get older, don’t forget to do things for your younger self. Allow yourself to delve into the things you didn’t have time for when you were younger. Honor your younger interests. Don’t deny your younger self of an experience just because your older self thinks it’s insignificant.
  • Give yourself permission to be all of you. The more we try to extract parts of ourselves in the hopes of becoming perfect, the more we lose a valuable expression of ourselves.
  • You don’t have to be perfect to help others. You have the ability to do things you haven’t even imagined yet.
  • You can’t avoid mistakes, but don’t avoid the lesson.
  • Make new memories instead of living old ones again and again. Don’t try to recreate moments from the past. Be open to new feelings, new emotions, new people, and new places.
  • Use your gifts and skills in the service of others. It will create opportunities you never thought of, give your life more meaning than ever, and help create memories for a lifetime.

I saw this video this week and it was a great lesson! So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations. If people aren’t showing up how you need them to show up, do not try to force them to change themselves. They’re revealing who they are to you. Just let them. Then you get to choose what you do next.

Life Kit – We’ve heard we need more fiber in our diets
  • Fiber is a dietary superhero: it lowers cholesterol, helps regulate blood sugar levels, keeps your hunger in check, and it is the primary food for the trillions of microbes that live in our gut.
  • Diets rich in fiber are linked to a lower risk of major health problems: obesity, type 2 diabetes, cancer, and cardiovascular disease.
  • Recommendations: 14 grams of fiber per 1,000 calories you eat – women typically around 25 grams of fiber. Men – 38 grams of fiber. Less than 10% of Americans eat the daily amount of fiber.
  • Try to eat the rainbow. Eat a variety of plant-based foods that are rich in fiber: sweet potatoes, avocados, asparagus, artichokes, brown rice, lentils, beans, etc.
  • Soluble fibers dissolve in water. They bind with water and turn into a gel-like consistency that slows digestion and can lower glucose levels and blood cholesterol levels. Ex: chia seeds, apples, pears
  • Insoluble fibers don’t dissolve in water. They add bulk to stool and prevent constipation. Ex: quinoa, rice, kale, walnuts
  • Tips: switch from white bread to whole-grain bread, drink lots of water, and take note of which foods cause sensitivities. Moving after meals can help reduce digestive discomfort.
The Liz Moody Podcast – How to Eliminate Bloat & Constipation
  • Your gut microbiome thrives on fiber and diversity of fiber. Diversity of fiber promotes diversity of microbiome species.
  • Elimination diets tend to narrow the diversity of fiber, which adversely affects the gut microbiome.
  • If your problem is that you are backed up and full of stool, elimination diets won’t help you. If your bloating is caused by your stomach being slow to empty, an elimination diet is not the intervention.
  • Elimination diets are only recommended when an adverse food reaction or intolerance is underlying the symptoms.
  • Some people have a primary intolerance, where a food does not agree with your body at all. Ex: lactose intolerance, fructose intolerance.
  • Some people have a secondary food intolerance, where you have developed a sensitivity to a food because of something else going on in your body that is treatable. Once it is identified and treated, your tolerance can be restored. Ex: SIBO – excess bacteria can thrive in your small intestine where they don’t belong
  • SIBO results in a change of your stool consistency (more frequent bowel movements, diarrhea, more constipation). Morning is the best time of the day. SIBO can an result in B12 deficiency. Those with SIBO experience weight changes – usually weight loss.
  • Most common cause of bloating: bowel is completely full of stool, visible on an x-ray
  • Options: take some magnesium (osmotic laxative – Miralax), scale back on fiber intake, have pureed fruits/veggies, and pull back on raw roughage. Usually a combination of magnesium and a decrease in fiber intake will do the job. If magnesium works, you probably don’t have a pelvic floor problem. If problems persist, have your pelvic floor function evaluated and undergo physical therapy or biofeedback.
  • Social media has skewed our perception of what a normal body should look like. Ex: flat bellies vs. bloated bellies
  • Your abdominal cavity needs to be able to accommodate the stretch of a stomach that is filling with a meal, so it is normal for your stomach to look more distended after you eat. It’s normal for your stomach to be bigger at the end of the day than it was in the morning.
  • When you blend or puree fiber, its particle size is smaller. The chemical bonds are the same, but the physical particle size is decreasing so it’s less likely to overcrowd your digestive system. Blending fruits and veggies is better than juicing; you still get the fibrous benefits.
  • At certain stages of your menstrual cycle, you may experience more fluid retention and looser stools. You can take IBgard, peppermint oil, Heather’s tummy tamers, etc. for natural anti-spasmodics.
  • Pregnancy can lead to the colon becoming displaced in certain areas due to the embryo pushing on it, causing acid reflux and constipation. Miralax and prunes are safe to use during pregnancy.
  • Figure out what the right amount of fiber for your body is. Every person varies on the amount of fiber and sources of fiber they can tolerate.
  • Some causes of bloating are not related to your colon or your bowels; it’s your stomach. Maybe you swallowed air that needs to be released, maybe you have acid reflux, maybe you are full of stool and need to defecate, etc. There is not one answer to relieve bloating.
  • Gas relief: happy baby position, knees to chest, ILU gut massage, gas relief meds
  • When traveling, pack a bowel regimen (fiber supplement/Miralax/gas relief) and snacks with fiber to guarantee good consistent fiber.
  • IBS may be the diagnosis if you have chronic, irregular symptoms and pain and tested negative for Crohns and Celiac Disease. IBS is a chronic condition that is treatable but not curable. Most people respond substantially to medications.
  • Salads, nuts, seeds, and popcorn contain insoluble fiber and can make you more diarrhea-prone.
  • Cortisol wakes up the bowels in the morning. The amount of serotonin hanging around in the gut will impact your motility (how quickly things move) as well as your sensation (how sensitive you are to pain). Your serotonin levels are connected to anxiety, depression, and where you are right now mentally. A lot of IBS is treated off-label using anti-depressants to manipulate the amount of serotonin in the intestines, which manipulates motility and sensation.
  • Diaphragmatic breathing also helps with GI issues.
  • Parasites are extremely rare. Giardia is the most common parasite.
  • For more information, check out Thebloatedbellywhisperer.com

I loved this blog post from Gabe the Bass Player, a blog I read daily.

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/saying-something

One of the books I’ve finished reading this past week is “The Song of Significance: A New Manifesto for Teams” written by Seth Godin, author of 21 international bestsellers that have changed the way people think about work, and author of seths.blog, one of the most popular marketing blogs in the world (that I also read daily). This book emphasized doing work that matters, creating a difference, being part of something, and doing work we’re proud of. Here are my favorite take-aways from the book:

Actions speak louder than meetings.

Seth Godin

What actually separates thriving organizations from struggling ones are the difficult-to-measure attitudes, processes, and perceptions of the people who do the work. Measurable skills without productive attitudes aren’t worth much.

We need to be clear, specific, and kind in our language. If we can go a step further and agree to give each person on our team the benefit of the doubt – and to ask for clarification when we’re confused – we’re much less likely to cause pain, confusion, or simply a disruption in our journey.

We need to offer people work worth doing. We need to find ways to create significance. What is the change we seek to make? What are you doing that is special? How do your unique skills and passions help this work go better? Does this work matter? Are you making choices that create an impact?

What are meetings for? Reinforcing status roles, clarifying the pecking order, a way to deny responsibility later? The purpose of a meeting is to communicate an idea and the emotions that go with it and to find out what’s missing via engaged conversation. If we can’t do that, let’s not meet. Multitasking, especially during meetings, isn’t productive, respectful, or healthy. Being present in real time is a waste unless we interact. Reaffirming your status and control isn’t worth an hour of my day.

Seth Godin

Many employers focus on hiring people with traditional vocational skills: productive, skilled, and experienced with a resume to prove it. What if employers also focused on real skills such as self-control, wisdom, perception, influence, charisma, drive, goal-setting, empathy, consistency, patience, and deep listening? When happens to your organization when someone like that joins your team?

Significance isn’t what we get…it’s what we do for others.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- March 23, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

On Purpose with Jay Shetty- 4 Relationship Struggles We Go Through

This episode covered four typical relationship struggles and how to overcome them.:

  • Technoference – when your partner is not fully paying attention due to being distracted by tv/phone/computer.
    • How to fix it: Set a rule that when you want your partner’s undivided attention, you communicate that. Ask when they are available for undivided attention. That way you won’t be upset or frustrated if your partner isn’t fully present with you and your conversation. Show you are listening to your partner by mirroring and repeating the last few words that your partner says.
    • One suggestion: Put your phone away during meals and communicate that expectation.
  • Bringing work stress home. This is especially hard when working from home due to having no transitional time to decompress and disconnect through a transitional commute.
    • How to fix it: Take a moment to breathe and decompress after work. Figure out your individual and collective recharging exercises.

My recharging exercises: working out, music, reading, podcasts, hanging out with friends

His: tv, Tiktok, podcasts

Ours: talking to each other, tv

  • Finances– even if you have separate accounts, it is important to talk about your desires, dreams, and concerns and be on the same page.
    • How to fix finance issues: invest in your relationship! Make sure you are doing things that are benefiting you as a couple.
    • How much $ is spent on a wedding vs. a marriage?
  • Chores– resenting partner when you feel like you are picking up the slack
    • How to fix it: Set expectations about who’s doing what and when. It’s unfair to always expect your partner to pick up your slack. Review and reset expectations as needed.
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – This or That: Travel Credit Card or Cash-Back Credit Card

Travel credit cards often come with several benefits, and cards that charge a higher annual fee offer better benefits. Benefits often include no foreign transaction fees, airline benefits such as free checked bags/lounge access/TSA pre-check, rental car insurance, travel insurance, and hotel vouchers or benefits.

  • Things to Consider:
    • Travel credit cards typically don’t have a set % back. You get points instead.
    • It takes TIME to calculate whether travel credit card annual fees are worth it for you, especially if you don’t travel often and won’t use all of the perks!

Cash-back cards often offer no annual fee and a set cash back amount to use as you please. You don’t have to calculate if it’s worth it for you, especially if there is no annual fee.

**It’s not truly this OR that. You can have both a travel credit card and a cash-back card or multiple cards of each if that’s best for you!

Self Improvement Daily- Waking up is the first thing to be grateful for

I’ve never really thought about life as presented in the episode. “Waking up is the first thing to be grateful for” was emphasized in two ways:

  • There are people who are going to sleep tonight who won’t be waking up tomorrow.
  • There are people waking up this morning for the last time and they have no idea.

Imagine if you knew today was going to be the last day of your life. Would you treat your day much differently?

One of the most fascinating things I learned this week is that counterfeit coupons are a nationwide problem and there is a Coupon Information Corporation that investigates counterfeit coupons! I recently watched an episode of “The Con” that highlighted “Coupon Con” Lori Ann Talens. This was the largest coupon scam in U.S. History.

Lori took to couponing while on bed rest, and, using her graphic design skills, she created realistic counterfeit coupons to score free meals, household supplies, and money. She used social media sites and apps to sell counterfeit coupons from April 2017-May 2020 and made about $400,000, and an investigation revealed her computer contained over 13,000 barcodes she created for products she designed coupons for! Counterfeit coupons were also found all over her house and valued at over $1 million. The businesses victimized suffered over $31 million in losses, and Lori and her husband were sentenced to prison.

This week I read that houses are generally a terrible investment for all but real estate brokers, the government, insurance companies, and banks. In the first nine years of a standard thirty-year mortgage, around 50 percent of your total payment goes toward interest, while the rest goes toward paying down the principal. In order to figure out whether it makes sense to buy or rent, we need to consider the interest, add the extra costs of owning a house (property tax, maintenance, homeowner’s insurance, utilities you wouldn’t be responsible for in an apartment, etc.). This is where the Rule of 150 comes from. Multiply your monthly mortgage payment by 150 percent and that is how much your house will actually cost per month, once all expenses are factored in.

In 2022, which was our first year of owning our house, we paid over $11,000 in mortgage interest and over $3,500 in property taxes. We also paid PMI, homeowner’s insurance, and some utilities I was not used to paying for while I lived in an apartment. Not considering homeowner’s insurance, PMI, and utilities, we paid over $14,500 in just mortgage interest and property taxes that we have nothing to show for!!

Homeownership is not cheap and it is not for everyone. I love living together and having designated spaces to work, sleep, cook, relax, and work out, and I love the location. However, this past year, all things considered, it was not a good financial investment last year.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 2, 2023

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

“What’s New?” – Self Improvement Daily

A question that we often ask each other to catch up is “What’s new?”. The question is well-intended but the response is usually underwhelming – “Work is good, family is good, all’s good!”

Brian Ford

“What’s new?” is an opportunity to share what you’re excited about, what is changing in your life, or what you’re working on. If you’re pursuing the best version of yourself, there should always be something new going on to share.

The next time someone asks you “What’s new?”, instead of giving the same generic response, tell them what you’re working on, what is changing in your life, or what you’re excited about. Use it as an opportunity to share.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty- 6 Ways to Know if You’re Compatible with Someone + 4 Steps to Build Real Connection

Chemistry does not equal compatibility. Chemistry is like lighting a matchstick. It burns and runs out. Compatibility is like a candle that burns slowly and takes much longer to run out.

Jay Shetty

Compatibility does NOT mean the same personality. You can have a lot in common personality-wise, but have massively different expectations and input that don’t make you compatible. A lot of people want their partner to have the same exact interests as them. You aren’t trying to date yourself! “We’re so different” is not what leads to distance.

Compatibility does not mean it is easy to get along. It requires deeper understanding and knowledge, which often requires discomfort. Compatibility requires discomfort.

Jay Shetty

Compatibility does NOT require changing someone else.

Most of us believe that the way WE were raised is the right way to do things. You’ve built a home full of your ideas, and when you get into a relationship, you tend to want your partner to live in your house with your ideas and thoughts, and they want to live in their house with their ideas. Getting in a relationship requires you to build your own house together with bricks from each one.

Steps to build compatibility:

  • RARE:
    • Recognize differences. Know where that person is different. Ex: Organized vs. spontaneous
    • Awareness of their stance and why. Where did it come from and why are they that way? Compatibility means I know why I am the way I am, and I know why my partner is the way they are. Compatibility requires that you have an awareness of why someone makes the choices they’re making.
    • Respect their approach.
    • Express your feelings without feeling judged. It takes time and skill.

Think of this: Are you able to recognize my differences, be aware of how I think and why I think that way, respect that, and let me express myself without feeling judged? Can we do this daily and get better at it? Are we willing to do the work to be together? It’s NOT “Are we right for each other?” Instead, it’s “Do we want to be right for each other?”

Areas of compatibility:

Wealth compatibility- does not mean you have the same views about $ or finances. Do we understand why each of us thinks about $ in this way? What is the solution we want to create together?

Beauty- If you’re together, how do you feel about yourself?

Power- knowing which partner is good at what and letting them lead in that area. People often criticize their partners in public. How does your partner want to be acknowledged and appreciated?

Renunciation- letting your partner grow at their own pace. Use encouragement, guidance, love, and support, not force. Their path is different than yours.

Knowledge compatibility- trying to learn new things with each other or learning new things separately and sharing your learnings.

Harvard Business Review Ideacast- Why Some Start-Ups Fail to Scale

Common reasons why start-ups fail to scale:

  • Can’t source enough supply to keep up with the demand
  • Problems securing capital to the point where the business becomes cash-flow positive
  • Not having sufficiently coherent culture/efforts not aligned when increasing number of staff
  • Attempting to scale into a market that isn’t big enough to justify their scale/don’t have practical or feasible means to reach their target market when scaling

Start-ups need an effective way to get to their target market/market strategy, an idea of the approach to monetization, capital investment, a strategy to hit milestones that will get them capital investment, and need a plan for sustainability.

Case example: Wayfair. Wayfair started with multiple specific websites for each type of products. They eventually realized that, in order to have repeat customers, they needed to merge into one website: Wayfair.

Taken from Wayfair.com:

“Niraj and Steve jumped in, looking at what people were searching for and building destinations for those products. Soon they had launched CSN Stores, a collection of more than 200 sites with everything from bar stools to bedroom furniture and birdhouses.

In 2011, we brought everything together under one roof and created wayfair.com: a single site where people could find millions of products for every part of their homes.”

One of my favorite television shows is Shark Tank. I love to get an inside look at entrepreneurship and venture capital, and I find it fascinating to learn about new products, successes and challenges, and negotiations. I often find myself evaluating whether I think a product is going to become useful and popular, whether it is a product that allows the company to have repeat customers, whether I think the entrepreneurs should give up a certain percentage of their company to investors, etc. Many entrepreneurs on the show have issues sourcing supply to keep up with the demand, problems securing capital, difficulty trying to become cash-flow positive, and attempting to scale into a market that isn’t big enough.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!