Tag: #bookreview

Book review posts, Uncategorized

September 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read three books in September 2024. School has been keeping me busy. Here is a brief synopsis of the books I read in September.

“Crossing Fifty-One: Not Quite A Memoir” was written by Debbie Russell, a retired Hennepin County Prosecutor. This book contained themes of family dynamics, building your own identity, addiction, and reducing the stigma associated with addiction.

Debbie’s grandfather suffered with asthma and admitted himself to a federal narcotic farm for his Demerol addiction, where he assisted in treating his fellow patients. In this memoir, Debbie shares insights into her family’s history through her conversations, research, and letters her grandfather wrote or received. Here are some quotes that stood out to me:

“Since most addicts have some sort of personality disorder, it follows that the basic attack on the problem of addiction is to prevent the development of such disorders. It is the current belief that most of these result from frustrated drives for security, recognition, and affection, particularly during childhood. Granting this, attention must be focused on preparing parents and prospective parents for their roles in shaping the personalities of their children.”

“It’s much harder to dig inside ourselves and try to figure out how we contribute to our own problems. It’s my current struggle. Every. Single. Day.”

“It takes amazing perspective to be able to think of a locked drug rehab facility as a ‘retreat.’ But maybe, compared to Papa’s struggles with addiction, the facility served as a haven.”

4 out of 5 stars

“We Came, We Saw, We Left: A Family Gap Year” was written by Charles Wheelan, a former correspondent for the Economist who teaches public policy ad economics at Dartmouth College. This book was an exhilarating and exciting read about the family gap year that consisted of 9 months, 6 continents, 3 teenagers, and 1 flesh-eating parasite. I learned about traveling minimally on a budget and about different destinations. Here are some takeaways:

Traveling around the world for nine months is cheaper than staying at home (if you rent out your house). The author spent less on food while traveling, didn’t have to pay for gas, and only needed storage insurance for his vehicles back home. The primary expense associated with traveling is forgone income. All-in, their budget was $60 per person per day. This was fascinating to me, although I don’t have a job that would allow me to take off for one year. To put it in perspective, according to the author, traveling around the world for nine months would only delay retirement by one year.

“Experiences, rather than things, are what make us happiest in the long run. Experiences become an ingrained part of our identity. Experiences connect us to the people with whom we share them, and experiences make up into the people we are. Even bad experiences morph into positives over time – like a funny story or a character-building experience.”

What are some lessons they learned?

  • The world is still an interesting place, and each country has its own feel and personality.
  • They are great teammates, and marriage is about picking a person you want at your side to help navigate whatever might come along, such as traveling on a low budget to bizarre places.
  • They learned that life goes on without you. They came back to a place that was pretty much the same as they had left it.
  • The greatest luxury is time – sleeping until refreshed, reading at any time of day, and wandering aimlessly.
  • There is serious environmental damage, such as air pollution in big cities and deforestation in less-developed areas.
  • It was really fun. Adventures turned out to be worthy of that anticipation, and many great moments were entirely circumstantial.

5 out of 5 stars

“Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food That Isn’t Food” was a fascinating and alarming book written by Chris Van Tulleken, who has a medical degree from Oxford and a PhD in molecular virology. Chris is an associate professor at University College London and a practicing infection diseases doctor. Chris studied ultra-processed foods (UPF) and conducted an experiment. He stopped eating UPF for 4 weeks, then ate 80% UPF for 4 weeks. He had his weight, height, BMI, and body fat measured both before and after the experiment, and he gained 6 kilograms (about 13 pounds). His appetite hormones were deranged, he had a 5x increase in leptin (the hormone that comes from fat), and his C-reactive protein (a marker that indicates inflammation) had doubled!

I learned a lot from this book. Here are some of the main points:

  • If it’s wrapped in plastic and has at least one ingredient that you wouldn’t normally find in a standard home kitchen, it’s UPF. Almost every food that comes with a health claim on the packet is UPF. UPF is high in calories, fat, and sugar and low in fiber.
  • UPF displaces diverse whole foods from the diet, especially among low-income groups. It’s addictive. The emulsifiers, preservatives, modified starches, and other additives damage the microbiome. The convenience, price, and marketing of UPF urge us to eat constantly and without thought, which leads to more snacking, less chewing, faster eating, increased consumption, tooth decay, and other health issues.
  • There are over 10,000 additives used in food in the United States – flavors, flavor enhancers, colors, emulsifiers, artificial sweeteners, thickeners, humectants, stabilizers, acidity regulators, preservatives, antioxidants, foaming agents, anti-foaming agents, bulking agents, carbonating agents, gelling agents, glazing agents, chelating agents, bleaching agents, leavening agents, clarifying agents, etc. Over 1,000 of these were self-determined to be safe and are not FDA approved.
  • “Most UPF is not food. It’s an industrially produced edible substance.”

This book covered several UPF ingredients, foods they are found in, and the damaging effects of them. One of those that stood out most to me was xanthan gum, which is found in many gluten-free foods and flours. Xanthan gum is a bacterial exudate slime that bacteria produce to allow them to cling to surfaces. “Think of xanthan gum the next time you scrape the accumulated gunk from the filter on your dishwasher.” Or don’t!

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

August 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read seven books in August 2024 – the most I have read in one month since starting school this year. Here is a brief synopsis of the books I read in August, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control” was written by Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist, write, and speaker and former therapist at Google. I got SO much out of this book and my notes covered the review pages for 2 books instead of 1! This book explored types of perfectionists, lessons learned, and strategies of coping with perfectionism. I will most more about this book in the future, but for now, here are a few lessons:

  • I am mostly a classic perfectionist (and partially a Parisian perfectionist). I value structure, consistency, predictability, an understanding of all the options so as to make an informed decision, high standards, objectivity, and clarity through organization. I don’t like disorder, I have difficulty adjusting to schedule changes, and I tend to experience spontaneity as stressful. Itinerary-centered existence can rob classic perfectionists of the opportunity to grow in a way that wasn’t planned or goal-oriented.
  • Right now, with all the things you have yet to achieve, you are as worthy of all the love, joy, dignity, freedom, and connection as you would be had you already achieved them. You are worthy of all these things because you exist.
  • There are many raw manifestations of perfectionism:
    • emotional (want to experience a perfect emotional state)
    • cognitive (want to understand perfectly)
    • behavioral (want to behave perfectly in my roles and perform perfectly in my tasks)
    • object (want external thing, such as desk, hair, etc. to exist in a perfect state)
    • process (want process to begin, continue, and end perfectly)

5 out of 5 stars

“If my body could speak: poems” by Blythe Baird included poems mostly about rape and eating disorders. Here are some lines that stood out to me:

  • “If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story.”
  • “If your body could speak, would she forgive you?”
  • “One day after years of starving and gaining and fighting, I stepped on a scale and suddenly that number didn’t say anything about me…and that night nothing on my plate said anything about me either. Later, I got ice cream from a truck and I didn’t have to make myself earn it.”
  • “I found a way to heal through the poetry. The stage is the only place I could tell my story where it wasn’t a liability I was putting onto anyone. This stage is where i learned to stop hoarding my suffering.”
  • “Do not say you didn’t try. Remember: you did the best you could in the situation you were in with the materials you had.”

4 out of 5 stars

“Lessons Learned and Cherished: The Teacher Who Changed My Life” was compiled by Deborah Roberts, an award-winning ABC News journalist. This book was touching, although the stories seemed to have a specific format/agenda – nearly every essay mentioned that teachers are underpaid/underappreciated at the end of each essay.

Here are four of the lessons learned and cherished:

  • Every teacher has the potential to make a student feel connected, valued, and worthy. The greatest gift you can give is your full presence.
  • A difficult teacher can inspire you to persevere and believe in yourself. – Deborah Roberts
  • Teachers mean the world for a child’s development. Kids are not guaranteed a wonderful home base. Kids can be struggling with emotional distress or even violence, and their teachers can be the safe haven.
  • When a teacher believes in a student before they believe in themselves, they blossom. – Keri Shahidi

4 out of 5 stars

“Picturing Joy: Moments of Connection” was compiled by photographer George Lange. George’s work has appeared in many popular publications, and he has shot many of the iconic images from TV shows and ads for TV shows. This book was not quite what I expected. George shared stories of how he captured those moments. There were some great photos and interesting stories. Here are some takeaways from this book:

  • Photos are the artifacts of the experience a photographer creates. Photos reflect what he feels more than what he sees.
  • The role of a photographer is only to be hip enough to get in the room but not have to be the center of it. His approach is to create a space for people to reveal a part of themselves to him, and his intention is to find a way to put love out in the world.
  • “My time with subjects is often incredibly brief. A small window into a life I would never get to share without my camera.”

4 out of 5 stars

“To Hell With the Hustle” was written by Jefferson Bethke, the New York Times bestselling author of Jesus>Religion and It’s Not What You Think and host of The Real Life podcast. This book was not what I expected and seemed very scatterbrained, but there were some good takeaways. Here are some that resonated with me most.

  • When our work becomes who we are and we derive our ultimate value and meaning from it, it runs the risk of becoming our god – the thing we worship, bow down to, and become slaves of.
  • It’s time to stop and consider the cost of all this hustle, speed, and disillusionment. To hell with it – meaning we’re done and it comes from Hell. Jesus was never in a hurry. He was actively resisting cultural pressures on many levels. Hustle isn’t him.
  • Scripture doesn’t talk much about goals. It is focused on our identity and who we are becoming. Are we becoming more like Jesus by the practices and formations we are doing?
  • Have you ever noticed how a lot of Jesus’ miracles were not a part of his plan? They happened on his way somewhere else. You have to go at a pace that can be interrupted. That can be responsive to the moment in front of you.
  • The goal is “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” NOT “Well accomplished, my busy and hustled servant.” Well done. Faithful. If we want to get there, we have to actively resist the myriad voices and influences that subtly hypnotize us into a busier, noisier, more hustled lifestyle. Say no, that’s not the way of Jesus. That’s not the speed of Jesus. That’s not the cadence of Jesus. To hell with the hustle. I’ll take him instead.

4 out of 5 stars

“The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness” was written by Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Schulz, PhD. Robert Waldinger, MD is a professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Marc Schulz, PhD is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and a practicing therapist.

The Harvard Study of Adult Devlopment has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than 80 years – asking thousands of questions and taking hundreds of measurements to find out what really keeps people healthy and happy. I will post more about this book in the future, but for now, here are some lessons:

  • The good life is not a destination. It is the path itself and the people who are walking it with you.
  • Good relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer.
  • An investment in our social fitness isn’t only an investment in our lives as they are now. It is an investment that will affect everything about how we live in the future. Like a tree needs water, relationships are living things and need attention and maintenance.
  • Curiosity goes a long way in relationships. It opens up avenues of conversation and knowledge and helps others feel understood and appreciated.

5 out of 5 stars

“Calling A Wolf A Wolf” consisted of poems by Kaveh Akbar. To be honest, I didn’t really like this collection. The format of the poems bothered me, and the phrases were scattered with no punctuation. Here is an example:

There were many poems about alcoholism, but the language didn’t make sense to me. Here are a few lines I liked:

What Seems Like Joy – “My father believed in gardens – delighting at burying each thing in its potential for growth. Some years the soil was so hard the water seeped down slower than the green seeped up. Still he’d say if you’re not happy in your own yard you won’t be happy anywhere.”

Portrait of the alcoholic floating in space with severed umbilicus – “I always hoped that when I died I would know why. My brother will be so sad he will tell his daughter I was better than I was. He will leave out my cruel drunk nights the wet mattresses my driving alone into cornfields unsure whether I’d drive out.”

“Now I listen for the sighs of people who love me, each agitation I create a reminder that I am less than constant in my grace.”

2 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

June 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read five books in June 2024. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in June 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Vagina Problems: Endometriosis, Painful Sex, and Other Taboo Topics” by Lara Parker was educational and emotional. Lara is the writer and deputy editorial director at Buzzfeed, and she covered what it’s like to live with endometriosis, vaginismus, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis syndrome, pelvic floor dysfunction, etc. There were a lot of tidbits in this book. Here are a few take-aways that I am not uncomfortable sharing:

  • Endometriosis is, statistically speaking, as prevalent as diabetes in America. Endo is not easy to get a diagnosis for, as it requires laparoscopic surgery. Also, doctors often don’t take women’s pain seriously. Endometriosis is more than just a bad period; some other symptoms include abdominal swelling, trouble digesting, exhaustion, and painful sex. It is physically and mentally painful and there is no cure.
  • “Berating myself, blaming myself, and denying myself things simply because I felt as if all this pain was my fault has never made me feel any better.”
  • Author’s quotes on painful sex: “You can have sex and be intimate in different ways and none of those ways determine your worth in any relationship.” “The thing that ultimately helped me the most was reframing the way I thought about sex in general.”

I recommend this book to anyone who has endometriosis and/or other “vagina problems.”

4 out of 5 stars

“Stop Overthinking” was written by Nick Trenton and contained detailed and proven techniques to rewire your brain, control your thoughts, and change your mental habits. This book was helpful, but the author could have expanded on some strategies. I will post in more detail about this book in a future post. Here are some lessons:

Overthinking is when you excessively analyze, evaluate, ruminate, and worry about certain things to a point where it starts affecting your mental health because you simply can’t stop. The emotion behind much overthinking is fear – fear of being out of control, of being overwhelmed, of failure, of impending danger, etc.

4 A’s of stress management:

  • avoid – say no to stress that is unnecessary and harmful – situations and people that demand too much of us
  • alter – ask others to change their behavior – negotiate
  • accept – validate your emotions and practice forgiveness – change the way you frame events
  • adapt – make lasting changes to your worldview, goals, perception, and expectations – change yourself to better cope with life

Ask yourself: Is what you’re doing problem solving or rumination? If you’re ruminating, direct your attention to a single small action. If you’re going to spend all the energy thinking about the problem, at least put it to good use and find a way to improve things. If you can’t improve anything, then put your energy into distraction, forgiveness, or moving on.

This book covered several techniques! I recommend this book to anyone who is an overthinker.

4 out of 5 stars

“Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier” was written by Kevin Kelly. On his 68th birthday, Kevin began to write down for his young adult children some things he had learned that he wished he had known earlier. He had more to say than he thought, and he kept adding advice over the years, compiling his life’s wisdom into these pages. This book was a GEM of knowledge and advice!

When you keep people waiting, they begin to think of all your flaws.

Nothing elevates a person higher than taking responsibility for their mistakes. If you mess up, fess up. It’s astounding how powerful this ownership is. This has been so true in my experiences!

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

Every person you meet knows an amazing lot about something you know virtually nothing about. It won’t be obvious, and your job is to discover what it is.

How to apologize: quickly, specifically, and sincerely. Don’t ruin an apology with an excuse.

I highly recommend this book to everyone! I will post more about it on a later date!

5 out of 5 stars

“One Decision Away: Key Principles to Create What You Want in Life and Work” was written by Paula Melo Doroff. This book was inspiring. Paula ran away at 15, arrived in the U.S. at 25, divorced 3 times, grew up in poverty, was raised by an illiterate grandmother, and only had a middle school education; this book affirms that your success doesn’t always come down to your family, your lucky breaks, or your wealth. Here are some main points:

You are just one decision away from completely altering the trajectory of your life. You can stay safe in your comfort zone and keep dreaming, or you can take the courageous step onto the path that will lead you to growth and take responsibility for what you truly want for your life.

  • To create the life you want, you need crystal clear dreams, realistic goals, and detailed plans to achieve those goals. Reflect: what is the one goal that would have the greatest impact on your life? Why is that goal important? What will you lose if you don’t follow the plan? What will you gain? What one action can you take today to move a step closer to your goal?
  • Sometimes we hold ourselves back in life because we don’t honor our dreams with goals to match. Sometimes, though, we might have a dream holding us back because the dream has outlived its purpose. Ex: a goal could still be permissible but not beneficial. Although you may feel betrayed by letting go of dreams, by releasing the dreams that no longer serve you, there is more space in your heart and mind for new possibilities. Don’t get stuck trying to fulfill a vision you’ve long outgrown.

I recommend this book for anyone wanting to learn about and reflect on creating the life they desire.

4 out of 5 stars

The fifth and final book I read in June was “In the Form of a Question: The Joys and Rewards of a Curious Life” written by Amy Schneider, the most successful woman ever to compete on Jeopardy! Amy walked away with $1.3 million on a 40-game winning streak, although she says she won an even greater prize: the joy of being herself on national television and leading the way for openly queer and transgender people around the world. Here are my thoughts about this book:

  • There were so many footnotes, and many of them were more like commentary than actual text. I think the footnotes could have been cut out or included in the actual text.
  • This book was not what I expected. I wanted to know more about her Jeopardy experience. Although I got a few gems of wisdom, this book mostly focused on Amy’s trans experiences (before and after the transition) and differing views than my own – ranging from condoning recreational drug use, polyamory, casual sex, criticisms of religion, and the promotion of tarot cards.

Two pieces of wisdom:

“The real answer to “How did you get so smart?” is simply this: I wanted to. And if you want to, you can do it, too. If you have the desire, not just to know but to understand, then you will grow more and more powerful every day, and nobody will be able to stop you.”

“Theater brings together people who, offstage, would find each other intolerable, and offers them each what they need. For the shy, it offers escape, concealment, and safety. For the confident, it offers attention, freedom, and validation. In theater, not only can you do the very things you fear the most, but you can do them with the very people who make you fear it.”

If you want to learn more about Amy’s intelligence and Jeopardy! journey, you won’t find much of that in this book. If you want to read more about Amy’s life and often controversial views, this book may be for you.

3 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

May 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read four books in May 2024. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in May 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“Becoming A Crime Scene Investigator” by Jacqueline Detwiler-George was an interesting overview of crime scene investigation and forensic science. Here are some of the main points covered in this book:

  • This job has many names: crime scene investigator, evidence technician, forensic investigator, crime scene technician, crime scene analyst, and crime scene examiner.
  • The science part of crime scene investigation involves knowing how to collect evidence so that it can be analyzed and deployed in court and knowing what to grab at the scene.
  • Crime scene investigators do not perform all of the functions they are depicted handling on tv. It is different everywhere. Some police/sheriff’s departments have their own crime labs, while others send all evidence to regional or state labs for processing.
  • Crime scene investigators used to be generalists. Now they specialize. Forensic analysts often collect master’s degrees and professional certifications.
  • Most standard crimes can be solved with a combination of photography, DNA evidence, serology, fingerprints, ballistics comparison, drug chemistry, and computer forensics.
    • Less common: blood spatter analysis, trace evidence analysis, forensic anthropology, and questioned documents
  • A background in hard science and forensics can lead a person toward dozens of different exciting careers, such as forensic anthropology, veterinary forensics, mail crime, digital forensics, arson investigation, bomb analysis, medical and mortuary sciences, chemical warfare forensics, etc.

4 out of 5 stars

“Know Your Endo” was written by Jessica Murnane and merged the science and research on pain and endometriosis with the real-world experiences of people living with endo. This book also included management practices for endometriosis while also emphasizing that there is no cure. I highly recommend this book to anyone with endometriosis.

Here are some main takeaways:

If you’re a person living with endometriosis, caring for yourself needs to be your number-one priority.

Think about how much your pain and symptoms get in the way of your relationships, your work, and/or giving back to your community. Now think about how much more time you would have to give to them if you felt better.

  • Many people with endo can have inflammation of their appendix, colon, or the lining of their stomach that can cause bloat and swelling.
  • Endo fatigue is one of the hardest symptoms to manage – an intense, deep, and permeating feeling of exhaustion that can be hard to shake, no matter how hard you try.
  • Management practices: self-compassion, meaningful connections, mindfulness, movement, supplements, avoiding inflammatory foods, and prioritizing yourself

Big inflammatories: processed and packaged foods, dairy, red meat, refined sugars and synthetic sweeteners, fried foods, soda, refined carbs, alcohol, and caffeine. **You are the only one who knows how your body feels when you eat certain foods, and it’s your responsibility to listen to it.**

4 out of 5 stars

“The Body Keeps the Score” was an intense read about the effects of trauma and pathways to recovery written by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. This book took me a whopping thirteen days to read – mostly because I found it pretty depressing and wasn’t eager to read it each day. I regularly read about traumatic experiences in the course of my work, and adding this book on top of that was sometimes too much. With that said, I learned SO much from this book and will post more about it at another time. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced trauma. Here are some main lessons that stood out to me:

In today’s world, your zip code, even more than your genetic code, determines whether you will lead a safe and healthy life. Income, family structure, housing, employment, and educational opportunities affect risk of developing traumatic stress and access to effective help to address it. Poverty, unemployment, inferior schools, social isolation, widespread availability of guns, and substandard housing are all breeding grounds for trauma. Trauma breeds further trauma. Hurt people hurt other people.”

What has happened cannot be undone. What can be dealt with are the imprints of the trauma on the body, mind, and soul. The challenge of recovery is to reestablish ownership of your body and your mind – finding a way to become calm and focused; learning to maintain that calm in response to images, thoughts, sounds, or physical sensations that remind you of the past; finding a way to be fully alive in the present and engaged with the people around you; and not having to keep secrets from yourself, including secrets about the ways that you have managed to survive.

“The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”

Treatments explored in this book include medications, sensorimotor psychotherapy and somatic experiencing, cognitive behavioral therapy, virtual reality therapy, acupuncture, massage, yoga, EMDR, writing to yourself, neurofeedback training, theater, self-awareness, and having a good support network.

Many psychiatrists today resort to doling out pills to relieve pain, anxiety, or depression, which doesn’t address the real issues: What are these patients trying to cope with? What are their internal or external resources? Do they have caring relationships with their bodies? Do they have dynamic interactions with other people? Whom can they count on? Are they members of a community? Do they have a sense of purpose? How can we help them feel in charge of their lives?

4 out of 5 stars

“Extreme Measures: Finding A Better Path to the End of Life” was written by Jessica Nutik Zitter, MD, an expert on the medical experience of death and dying who is double-boarded in the two specialties of pulmonary/critical care medicine and palliative care medicine – a rare combination. This book was fascinating, educational, emotional, and empowering. So many points and stories in this book will stick with me and I highly recommend this book to everyone. Here are some main points:

  • Often people die in the ICU on the end-of-life conveyer belt, where issues are treated until the patient dies. People who request treatment rarely understand the realities involved in “doing everything.” In the ICU, very few people have the opportunity to live life all the way through to the end. Too often the tools take life away from the dying.
  • There are certain treatments that Americans have come to see as their rights, whether or not the physician deems them to be beneficial in a particular case: breathing machines, feeding tubes, cardiac resuscitation with electric shocks and chest compressions, and dialysis. Most physicians feel they are powerless to withhold these treatments if the patient/family insists on their use.
  • Ask about the benefits and burdens of treatments, alternatives, and your or your family member’s prognosis.
  • Don’t expect your family to know your wishes or to make difficult decisions in the ICU. Identify what matters to you. What is your conception of a life worth living? Being free of pain? Engaging in relationships? Autonomy? Engaging in work and meaningful tasks? Living in your own home? Not being a physical/emotional/financial burden on your family? The best-laid paths to the end of life have been paved with ongoing reflection and communication. As people approach death, their priorities shift. Tools to convey your wishes include the Advance Directive, DNR order (good only for a particular admission at a particular time), and the POLST (follows you everywhere).

5 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

April 2024 Reads

amybenoit

I read four books in April 2024. Here is a brief synopsis of the four books I read in April 2024, some of which I will post about in greater detail in the future.

“The Sun Does Shine” detailed Anthony Ray Hinton’s experience spending nearly thirty years on death row in Alabama for crimes he didn’t commit. This book was eye-opening, emotional, and intriguing! I, and others, enjoyed it so much that it was selected as my employer’s next book club book! I will post about this book in more detail in a future post, but here are a few things that stood out to me:

  • He watched 54 men walk past his door on their way to be executed, as the execution chamber was 30 feet from his cell.
  • Mr. Hinton is one of the longest-serving condemned prisoners facing execution in America to be proved innocent and released. For 14 years, he could not obtain the legal help he needed to prove his innocence. Bryan Stevenson of the Equal Justice Initiative engaged three of the nation’s top firearms examiners, who all testified that the gun obtained from Mr. Hinton’s mother could not be matched to the crime evidence, and it took 14 years of contested litigation and a rare unanimous ruling from the U.S. Supreme Court before Mr. Hinton was released in 2015!
  • This book contained lessons of optimism, faith, and choice – all of which helped Anthony Ray Hinton survive his thirty years of confinement.
  • One of the most inspiring parts of the book is that Mr. Hinton’s best friend, Lester, never missed a visit in the thirty years Mr. Hinton was confined! That is true friendship many of us could never possibly imagine.

5 out of 5 stars!

“Warren Buffett Invests Like A Girl” was written by LouAnn Lofton, who has been with The Motley Fool since 2000. I read this as part of a book club I’m in, and honestly, this book could have been summed up in a blog post or list, which I am ironically doing right now. I have read better personal finance books. I didn’t particularly like that the author used the book to highlight stereotypical female qualities and emphasized how all investors should exhibit these qualities; at times, it came across as sexist.

  • Focus on the long term. Have patience. Don’t even think about investing money in the stock market that you need in less than five years. Trade less to make more.
  • Stick to your sphere of understanding.
  • Be levelheaded about your investments and the market at large and don’t get too excited or devastated.
  • Read and learn all you can, and actively seek out information. Research extensively.
  • Ignore peer pressure.
  • Learn from your mistakes.
  • Read up on the management of companies you are considering investing in. A business is only as strong as the people running it. Consider selling if management makes questionable decisions or undergoes significant changes.
  • Diversification – consider investing in an index funds and pick 15-20 individual stocks. *I don’t currently do this.*
  • Just because someone is an acknowledged investment guru or master doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way.

3 out of 5 stars

Hardcover Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect Book

“Unreasonable Hospitality: The remarkable power of giving people more than they expect” was written by Will Guidara. Will is the former co-owner of Eleven Madison Park and the Nomad, founder of the Welcome Conference, an annual hospitality symposium, and founder of Thank You, a hospitality company that develops world-class destinations and helps leaders across industries transform their approach to customer service. This book doubled as an autobiography and a great management book about how to lead and serve. Overall, this book was very educational and inspiring! I will post more in detail about this book in its own blog post sometime, but here are some main takeaways.

The greatest restaurants in the world become great by challenging the way we think about food. When Will Guidara set out to make Eleven Madison Park the best restaurant in the world, he had a crazy idea about how to do it: What would happen if we approached hospitality with the same passion, attention to detail, and rigor that we bring to our food?

In 2017, Eleven Madison Park was named the best restaurant in the world in 2017 after seven years of hard work, creativity, a maniacal attention to detail, and a truly unreasonable dedication to hospitality. They won because of their collective focus on unreasonable hospitality; they made the decision to be as joyfully unreasonable in their creative pursuit of hospitality in the dining room as the best restaurants all over the world already were in the kitchen.

  • Create a culture of hospitality. How do you make the people who work for you and the people you serve feel seen and valued? How do you give them a sense of belonging? How do you make them feel part of something bigger than themselves? How do you make them feel welcome?
  • You’re not always going to agree with everything you hear, but you’ve got to start by listening. If your business involves making people happy, then you can’t be good at it if you don’t care what people think. However, don’t try to be all things to all people. Criticism is an invitation to have your perspective changed.
  • Hospitality is a team sport. If you let your ego get in the way of asking for what you need, you’re going to let the whole team down, and the hospitality you’re delivering is going to suffer.
  • Serve what you genuinely want to receive and there will be authenticity in the experience.

5 out of 5 stars!

“The Book of (More) Delights” was written by Ross Gay, who has received numerous writing awards and teaches at Indiana University. His general rule was to write them daily, write them quickly, and write them by hand and to notice, pay attention to, and think about what he loves. This book was just so-so for me; I had high expectations for this book and had also placed a library hold on the original “The Book of Delights.” I found this book sometimes boring and not relatable – so much so that I cancelled the library hold for the original book in the series. This book consisted of mostly stories and anecdotes about his life, not relatable delights. With that said, here are some of the delights mentioned that we share, most of which were found in a list in the appendix rather than the actual chapters:

  • the perfect spoon (or cup)
  • free stuff
  • admiring babies
  • braces on adults
  • being early
  • paper menus and cash
  • my birthday
  • how people talk to their dogs
  • armrests on chairs
  • deep pockets
  • pants that fit right

3 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Power of Habit

amybenoit

“The Power of Habit” written by Charles Duhigg is among my favorite books I’ve read this year and among the most helpful books I have ever read. This book focused on the process of creating and modifying habits, habitual cues and rewards, and contained many interesting marketing examples shaped by habits: Pepsodent, Febreze, Target, foaming shampoo/toothpaste/laundry detergent, the response to Rosa Parks, AA, etc.

The habit cycle consists of the cue➡️routine➡️reward. If you use the same cue and provide the same reward, you can shift the routine and change the habit. Almost any behavior can be transformed if the cue and reward stay the same.

The basal ganglia (part of your brain) stores hundreds of habits we rely on every day. If the basal ganglia gets damaged, such as in those with Parkinson’s or Huntington’s disease, you may lose your habits.

If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative routine, and your odds of success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group.

To modify a habit, you must decide to change it. You must consciously accept the hard work of identifying the cues and rewards that drive the habit’s routines and find alternatives. You must know you have control and be self-conscious enough to use it.”

Charles Duhigg

Almost all of the patterns that exist in our lives – how we eat, sleep, talk to people, spend our time, spend our money – are habits. You have the freedom and responsibility to change these habits.

Once you understand that habits can be rebuilt, the power of habit becomes easier to grasp, and the only option left is to get to work.

Charles Duhigg

Almost all habitual cues fit into one of five categories: location, time, emotional state, other people, and the immediately preceding action.

Here are some common habits (related to eating) that I can think of that fall into these categories:

Location: eating popcorn at a movie theater, drinking at a bar, eating cake at a birthday party

Time: eating breakfast, lunch, or supper around the same time each day, even if you aren’t actually hungry

Emotional state: feeling stressed or sad can result in binge-eating junk food

Other people: being surrounded by people at parties and social events may urge you to eat or drink

Immediately preceding action: eating dessert or something sweet after a meal because it is your way of ending the meal

❗❗One of the most interesting stories was about the history of Febreze, which was initially manufactured to destroy odors. Researchers provided free bottles to households with pets, and upon following up with them months later, found that people couldn’t detect most of the bad smells in their homes because they became desensitized. The product’s cue was hidden from those who needed it most, so Febreze ended up in the back of a closet. Febreze then changed to a distinct scent and was positioned as a reward: the nice smell that occurs at the end of a cleaning routine. The irony is that a product manufactured to destroy odors was transformed into the opposite: an air freshener used as the finishing touch when things are already clean!❗❗

Pepsodent increased awareness of tooth film as a cue to become the best-selling toothpaste for more than 30 years. The reward was marketed as beautiful teeth. Mint oil and other chemicals were used to create a cool, tingling sensation on the tongue and gums. People craved that irritation, and although it doesn’t make the product work any better, it convinces people that it’s doing the job.

Later, Crest became the top seller by featuring fluoride, which was the first ingredient in toothpaste that actually made it effective at fighting cavities.

Foaming is a huge reward. Shampoo, toothpaste, and laundry detergent often contain foaming agents. Although there’s no cleaning benefit, once the customer starts expecting that foam, the habit starts growing.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a method for attacking the habits that surround alcohol use. AA forces people to identify the cues and rewards that encourage their alcoholic habits and then helps them find new behaviors.

It’s not obvious from the way the 12 steps are written, but to complete those steps, someone has to create a list of all the triggers for their alcoholic urges.

J. Scott Tonigan

Then, AA asks alcoholics to search for the rewards they get from alcohol: escape, relaxation, companionship, the blunting of anxieties, and an opportunity for emotional release.

If order to offer alcoholics the same rewards they get at a bar, AA has built a system of meetings and companionship – “the sponsor” each member works with along with frequent meetings.

“Hey Ya!” by Outkast was a flop at first. Many people changed the radio station when it came on. It needed to become part of an established listening habit to become a hit, so it was sandwiched between songs that were already popular, and it grew in popularity.

The author discussed that the response to Rosa Parks and societal change was the result of social ties across dozens of groups.

Movements don’t emerge because everyone suddenly decides to face the same direction at once. They rely on social patterns that begin as the habits of friendship, grow through the habits of communities, and are sustained by new habits that change participants’ sense of self.

Charles Duhigg

Target extensively tracks customers’ buying habits. Every person has a permanent Guest ID #, and Target analyzes shopping habits, demographics, age, marital status, kids, how far from the store the customer lives, websites visited, etc.

To read more about habits and my habits journey, check out:

All About Atomic Habits + My Habits Journey

A podcast I highly recommend that focuses on habits is Sad to Savage with Shelby Sacco.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

Brilliant Insights From “Tribe of Mentors” by Timothy Ferriss + My Mentor

amybenoit

One of my favorite books from 2022 was Tribe of Mentors by Timothy Ferriss. Tim tracked down more than 100 experts to navigate life and included nearly 600 pages of their recommendations. I have always tried to take away at least one thing from one person (the author) with each book I’ve read, so having over 100 people offer input in this book was amazing!

One piece of advice that SO many mentors gave that changed their lives was to learn how to say NO without guilt, pressure, or obligation. This is relevant to work, social outings, opportunities, and every other aspect of life.

This is a lesson that so many people could find useful. In the past, I had often felt overwhelmed with obligations, and now I am more careful with how I spend my time and energy and whom I spend my time with.

“Busy is a decision. You don’t find the time to do something. You make the time to do things.”

Debbie Millman

This was a lesson increasingly evident with the COVID-19 pandemic. Finding ourselves with extra time due to the lack of social events, commute, and, for some, their jobs, did not always result in doing the things we had been procrastinating on that we had always said we would do “if we had more time.” I think COVID-19 really taught us what our priorities are with our time.

from Debbie Millman- Career questions to ask yourself: Am I spending enough time on looking for, finding, and working toward a great job? Am I constantly refining and improving my skills? What can I continue to get better and more competitive at? Do I believe that I am working harder than everyone else? If not, what else can I be doing? What are the people who are competing with me doing that I’m not doing?

from Arianna Huffington- “Burnout is not the price you have to pay for success.” When we prioritize our well-being, our performance goes up across the board.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, ask yourself these questions: Sleep? Exercise? Healthy food? Am I resentful because I’m not setting or holding a boundary?

Brene Brown

from Leo Babauta- “Don’t try to find your passion… if you continue to optimize your mastery, you’ll eventually arrive at your passion.” “Make yourself proud.” We spend too much time trying to please everyone and we forget that it’s all already within.

from Jerome Jarre- “Promoting unethical or unhealthy companies for $ is not success. It’s corruption of your belief system and legacy.” He turned down a $1 million Snapchat series contract to promote Sour Patch Kids!

This is admirable. It bothers me when I see influencers promote items that they likely don’t personally use. Going against your belief system and promoting products you don’t use but are paid to promote is not influencing; it is dishonest and inauthentic.

“Don’t let the weight of fear weigh down the joy of curiosity.”

Jerome Jarre

from Mark Bell- “Either you’re in, or you’re in the way.” Often, we chase after people who aren’t “in” and don’t fit into our lives or business. We waste time with these people when our focus should be on the people who are in.”

“Think of your time like a jar, your priorities as rocks, and everything else as pebbles or sand.” Are you going to fill it with your rocks or let others fill it with theirs? Schedule specific blocks of time in advance for your rocks. Learn to say no. You don’t owe anyone lengthy explanations.

David Houston

from Scott Belsky- “I am always surprised by how lazy people are when making serious decisions about their careers. Join a team not for what it is, but for what you think you can help it become. You must seize the opportunities when they present themselves, not when they are convenient or obvious. The only way to cultivate your own luck is to be more flexible (you’ll need to give up something for the right opportunity), humble (timing is out of your control), and gracious (when you see it, seize it!). Life’s greatest opportunities run on their schedule, not yours.”

This really resonated with me. We often wait for the “perfect” time to make a change: the perfect time to change jobs, the perfect time to have kids, the perfect time to start a hobby or start working out… The perfect time will never arrive. We need to make sacrifices and take opportunities as they come.

from Dr. Gabor Mate- “Just say no” is the least helpful advice one can say to a person caught up in any addiction. If you want to help people, ask why they are in so much pain that they are driven to escape it through ultimately self-harming habits or substances. Then support them in healing the trauma, a process that starts with non-judgmental curiosity and compassion.”

I highly recommend this book! The best outcome is that everyone will find different things that speak to them!

One of my mentors is my former college professor/advisor/work study supervisor, Dr. DeWitt. He helped guide me through many challenges of college and helped me in my career discernment process. He really shaped who I am today.

Wit from Dr. DeWitt: Dr. DeWitt ended every class with “Any questions, concerns, or editorial comments?”

Although many of us found this ending to be solely entertaining, I also found it to be a sign of a great leader. With this ending, he showed that he was open to questions, he was open to feedback, and he was open to learning or being corrected with editorial comments. We should all strive to be open to questions, feedback, learning, and being corrected, and this remark has resonated with me since I first heard it.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!