It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog since I have had other priorities. I read 5 books in April. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in April.
“Funny, You Don’t Look Autistic: A Comedian’s Guide to Life on the Spectrum” was written by Michael McCreary, who does stand-up comedy about being on the autism spectrum and uses comedy to help demystify autism and break down stereotypes. He has performed across North America and lives in Toronto, Canada. Although this is not a comprehensive educational book, I learned more about autism. Here are some takeaways.
Everyone with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is different. People with ASD have many of the same thoughts and feelings as anyone else. The difference is in the intensity of those feelings and the degree to which they affect functioning.
The DSM-5 defines autism as a “triad of impairments” that presents challenges in these areas:
social interaction
communication
repetitive behaviors
Some people have heightened senses and can’t handle sudden bursts or noise or tags on clothes, while others are under-sensitive to sensory information and need to seek out stimulation. This is known as “stimming” and can include rocking, staring at lights, repetitive blinking, tapping, making sounds, spinning objects, rubbing your skin, clapping, or leg-shaking.
The author took improv classes. Improv requires you to listen to people, respond to them, and go with the flow: “Improv taught me more about social skills than any learning strategies ever could.”
When I’d seen comics lean on a mic stand, I always thought it was a power move. I soon realized that it was meant to make your shaking less obvious.
In media, the characters often seem like a checklist of symptoms rather than real people, a collection of quirks that have been mistaken for a personality. The problem with presenting autism on-screen is that it becomes the crux of the character. Having autism is a characteristic, not a character.
Although this book provided some useful information, it left more to be desired.
3 out of 5 stars
“The Unclaimed: Abandonment and Hope in the City of Angels” by Pamela Prickett and Stefan Timmermans is a powerful work of narrative nonfiction that explores what happens when people die with no one to claim them. Prickett, a sociology professor and former broadcaster, and Timmermans, a UCLA sociologist known for his work on death investigations, follow the lives of four individuals in Los Angeles who died between 2012 and 2019—some with family and means, others without—revealing how easily people can become invisible. Alongside their stories, the authors introduce us to the scene investigators, notification officers, and crematorium workers who step in when no one else will. I found the book deeply moving and full of surprising insights. Here are just a few that stayed with me.
Today, more and more relatives are abandoning their dead, leaving it to local governments to dispose of the bodies. Up to 150,000 Americans now go unclaimed each year.
The term of choice for those sent to the potter’s field is no longer indigent but unclaimed – reflective of relatives’ inability or unwillingness to take care of their dead.
There is no federal agency to track or oversee the unclaimed – just a patchwork of ad hoc local practices.
Los Angeles – “Over five hours, the men poured 1,461 boxes and envelopes into the grave – a year’s worth of ashes.”
Just because a family might be indigent does not mean a decedent is. To access a decedent’s $, the family needs a death certificate. The medical examiner’s office would not release the death certificate until the family hired a private funeral home to transfer the body from the crowded crypt. Quick access to the death certificate was one of the few carrots the office had to entice hesitant families to claim.
Meanwhile, even as they refused to claim David’s body, Mikel and Tiffany were planning how they would spend David’s money. When the estate was settled, after expenses and fees amounting to $30,000, Tiffany’s share came to $10,996.71. Feeling no shame about benefiting from the investment account of a man they hadn’t spoken to in decades, they decided to take a late honeymoon.
Patterns that increase likelihood of being unclaimed: social isolation caused by eroding family ties, never getting married, estrangement
I highly recommend this fascinating book! I learned so much about the unclaimed.
5 out of 5 stars
“The New Rulebook: Notes from a psychologist to help redefine the way you live” was written by Dr. Chris Cheers, an Australian psychologist and educator with a focus on elevating mental health in the arts and LGBTQIA+ communities. In this book, Dr. Cheers compassionately asks readers to examine 5 key areas of their lives: self-care, emotions, work, love, and body, and offers evidence-based solutions to redefine their lives not based on expectations of how they should live but led by what they need. Here are some reflections.
If you only focus on self, you start to view self-care as something that is a solo effort – something you buy for yourself, do alone, etc. Many of the worthwhile actions of self-care are carried out in relation to other people, such as communicating boundaries, saying no, or standing up for yourself.
We often recognize that we’re unhappy in our relationships, at work, or in daily life, but we rarely see major change as a real option. Instead, we try to feel better about the lives we already have and convince ourselves that change is too hard or simply not possible. In that process, self-care can become a soothing distraction rather than a solution. If your version of self-care is helping you cope with something that truly needs to change, it may not be care at all. It may be a quiet form of self-neglect.
Self-Care Reflection Questions
How can I care for myself today?
What are the barriers to making that happen? Can they be challenged?
What can I do to help make that care happen?
What positive impact will this care have not only for me, but for my community and the people in my life?
Values – How do you want people to describe you? What words do you want them to use to describe what you have held as most meaningful and important in your life? These are your values.
Values are useless if they just remain an ideal. Our daily actions become our life and identity. Consider how your actions have aligned with your values over the last six months and consider which behavior you could limit to make space for more meaningful actions.
We promote belonging in our relationships through intentional gathering. Safety comes from clear communication and trust. Trust is earned through actions that show accountability, integrity, and reliability. We can also promote a sense of safety in our relationships through learning how to have a difficult conversation, apologize, and come together after conflict.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to examine the 5 key areas of their lives: self-care, emotions, work, love, and body.
4 out of 5 stars
“Bibliotherapy: Books to Guide You Through Every Chapter of Life” was written by Molly Masters, a writer, podcaster, director and CEO of Aphra, and CEO of Bookshop Limited. Bibliotherapy is the application of literature towards a therapeutic goal. This book was a bibliotherapy concierge for confidence and courage, adulting, empowerment, first loves and great loves, heartbreak, self-love and self-discovery, LGBTQIA+ identity, new beginnings, new parents, creativity and inspiration, escapism, your mind, grief and loss, and feeling directionless.
This book was split into sections and provided one-sentence blurbs about most books recommended. I wrote several titles down to research more or read, and I highly recommend this book if you want book recommendations for the categories listed above! I will not be sharing titles recommended at this time because I don’t want to endorse books I have not read yet.
4 out of 5 stars
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“The Fountain of Youth – Confession: The Only Key to Living Forever” was written by Dave Durand. This book was handed out by my Catholic church and explores a topic that many Catholics (and Christians in general) struggle with: the Sacrament of Confession. Dave Durand takes a direct approach, addressing common excuses people make for avoiding confession, and offering responses rooted in Scripture and Church teaching. Here’s a brief look at a few of those points:
“It is not necessary to go to a priest. I can just tell my sins to God directly.” Durand reminds us that Jesus gave His apostles the authority to forgive sins—a gift passed down through the Church.
“At least I’m not as bad as others.” The book challenges the idea that God “grades on a curve” and instead invites us to humbly acknowledge our need for grace, just as many saints once did.
Self-Justification Rather than justifying our actions, confession helps us confront our faults honestly before God, which can lead to deeper transformation in all areas of life.
“Who is the Church to say what’s a sin?” Durand addresses this with a reminder that moral truth doesn’t change based on opinion and that Jesus established the Church for guidance and accountability.
“I keep committing the same sin—what’s the point?” He encourages persistence in confession, noting that repeated sin doesn’t mean failure if we sincerely strive to grow in virtue with God’s help.
Emotional Blocks Past negative experiences can make confession difficult, but Durand gently urges readers not to let one painful moment keep them from God’s healing grace.
Overall, The Fountain of Youth offers a clear and convicting view of confession within the Catholic faith grounded in both Scripture and the Catechism. Whether you’re a lifelong Catholic or simply curious about the sacrament, it presents a perspective worth reflecting on.
4 out of 5 stars
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog since I had other priorities in March. I read 5 books in March. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in March.
“We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships” was written by Kat Vellos. Kat’s writing is read in over 100 countries and she has been featured in several news outlets. Find out more at katvellos.com. This book helps adults create fulfilling friendships that last a lifetime and tackles challenges of adult friendships and how to make and maintain friendships through more meaningful conversations, identifying quality connections, and prioritizing them. Since starting school, many of my friendships have changed. I got a lot out of this book, but here is just a handful of tips:
Friendship factors: compatibility, proximity, frequency, and commitment. We show our commitment through 5 core behaviors: openness, caring, trust, dedication, and reciprocity.
One of the biggest complaints that comes up when people talk about friendship during adulthood is that everyone’s so busy all the time – work, school, kids, marriage, etc. Maybe the reason we’re “so busy” is because we’re binging shows and endlessly scrolling through social media. Take control of your time. Do you lack the time or the dedication?
Ask open-ended questions and follow-up questions to pull you deeper into conversation. Some fun ideas:
What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?
What’s a book that you think everyone should read?
If you had to spend one hour a day studying a topic or practicing a skill, what would you pick up and why?
If you had to be a teacher for the rest of your life, what would you teach?
What were three songs that you loved as a teenager?
What was a low point during this year for you? How did you handle it?
What excites you?
I highly recommend this book and will post more about it in a future blog.
5 out of 5 stars
“The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Libraries: True Stories of the Magic of Reading” was arranged by James Patterson and Matt Eversmann. James is the most popular storyteller of our time and has received several awards. This book consisted of short essays from booksellers and librarians. Here are some of my many takeaways:
Having a good library is not political. A good library will have books on vegetarianism and hunting. A good library will have books on every religion. A good library will have books about all eras of history, from ancient Rome to the Civil War to the Holocaust. A good library will have books about different countries, different cultures, and different life experiences.
“I don’t see the library going away at all. We’ll just have to keep up with whatever comes next and evolve with what the citizens want. We hope they continue to want what we provide: lifelong learning and joy.”
Public libraries are open to everyone. And free. There aren’t that many public spaces left where you can go without the expectation of spending money.
I highly recommend this book to get perspectives from booksellers and librarians.
5 out of 5 stars
“The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World” was written by Hannah Brencher, a writer, TED speaker, and entrepreneur. Hannah challenged herself to 1,000 unplugged hours in one year – taking back a life that had slowly become less present, less awake, and less vibrant over time. This book was a weaving of a memoir, cultural commentary, and spiritual insights. Here are some takeaways:
What would happen if we checked into the lives we’re building as much as we checked into other people’s lives online?
Think about something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time – something you keep pushing off because of e-mail, mindless scrolling, or yet another binge-worthy show. Whatever it is, power down your phone and do that thing you’ve been wanting to do. After one hour, turn your phone back on. You’ll have missed out on nothing, but gained something back instead: a piece of your time, a tiny sliver of your life.
Before taking the challenge, define what “unplugged” means to you. For the author, it means not using your phone, internet, social media, tv, or consuming any form of digital media. Build your boundaries intentionally.
Don’t believe the lie that you don’t have enough time. Instead, acknowledge that exercising, reading, etc. just isn’t a priority for you right now. Scrolling on your phone takes up a lot of time. The time is there; it’s just waiting to be reclaimed.
The double-edged truth about the devices we hold is that there will always be something to check. Something to read. Some way to improve. Something to watch. Another thing to reply to. Something to share. Another comment to make.
Scrolling in bed in morning: “I was allowing other people’s fingerprints – their agendas, opinions, praise, and problems – to get all over my day before my feet even touched the ground.”
There’s often a disconnect between the life people are living and the life they’re curating for others to see. In the unplugged hours, ask yourself: Does this moment still matter to you if no one else knows you went, saw, lived, ate, loved, fought, and tried? Does this moment still matter to you if you never pull out your phone to tell people that it happened?
I highly recommend this book for anyone feeling like they are on their phones too much and that they don’t have time to do things they’ve been putting off, including maintaining friendships.
4 out of 5 stars
“What If YOU Are the Answer? And 26 Other Questions That Just Might CHANGE YOUR LIFE” was written by Rachel Hollis, a speaker, podcast host, entrepreneur, and #1 New York Times bestselling author whose work has impacted millions of readers worldwide. This book was thought-provoking. Here are some things that resonated with me.
What Who are you waiting for? Live your life. Try new stuff and see if you like it. Learn to look at other humans as individual plays in their own stories without feeling the need to write yours the same way. Listen to your heart, your gut, and your inner knowing. Give yourself permission to change lanes, directions, occupations, beliefs, and other things you need to on the journey of trying your best to do your best.
Realize that no one else can solve our problems, heal our wounds, or make the most of the opportunity we’ve been given. You are the hero you’ve been waiting for.
What must you let go of to be the person you want to be?
What’s bigger, your dreams or your excuses?
Knowing what you know today, would you sign up for this again? Job, friends, relationships, projects, etc. If not, what are you going to do about it?
Who would you be without your fear?
There are two kinds of fear: 1) clear and present danger of a very real threat 2) imaginary fear we create by dreaming up what might happen – anything you’ve never done, places you’ve never gone, conversations you’ve never had, and people you don’t know
Anything you’re curious about or interested in but don’t pursue because of what might happen is you allowing your fear to control you.
I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to reflect on their lives and personal growth and make changes.
4 out of 5 stars
“Burps” is a children’s book written by Grace Hansen. I wanted to learn more about burping since this is new to me. Here are some tidbits:
When we eat and drink, we swallow food and water, but we also swallow air. Air contains gases like nitrogen and oxygen.
Too much gas in the esophagus and stomach can be uncomfortable. Burping releases this excess gas.
Carbonated drinks contain carbon dioxide and can cause us to burp.
Bacteria in our digestive tract helps break down food. Hydrogen peroxide can be made int he process. This gas smells like rotten eggs.
Burping is our body’s way of releasing excess gas.
Although this book said that everyone burps, that is not true! Some people have a condition called RCPD (inability to burp).
4 out of 5 stars
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
I read six books in December, some of which were short and easy reads. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in December.
“The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks About Race” was edited by Jasmyn Ward, an author and associate professor of Creative Writing at Tulane University who has won several writing awards. This book demonstrated the power in words – the power in asserting our existence, experience, and lives through words. This book was selected as a book club read for my employer. Here are some quotes that stood out to me:
[During an internship at a magazine that was more than 150 years old] “Sometime during the end of my first week, a chatty senior editor approached me in the corridor. During the course of our conversation, I was informed that I was almost certainly the first black person to ever intern at the magazine and there had never been any black editors. On good days, being the first black intern meant having my work done quickly and sounding extra witty around the water cooler; it meant I was chipping away at the glass ceiling that seemed to top most of the literary world. But on bad days I gagged on my resentment and furiously wondered why I was selected. I became paranoid that I was merely a product of affirmative action, even though I knew I wasn’t.”
“I accepted the reality that the historic colonial houses – now the business residences of attorneys, hairstylists, insurance agents, and doctors – were considered by more people to be more valuable than the bodies below them.”
“Empathy requires us to dig way down into the murk, deeper than our own feelings go, to a place where the boundaries between our experience and everyone else’s no longer exist.“
Rules of walking – “no running, especially at night; no sudden movements; no hoodies; no objects – especially shiny ones – in hand; no waiting for friends on street corners or standing near a corner on the cellphone lest I be mistaken for a drug dealer“
This book provided thought-provoking perspectives of race and minorities.
4 out of 5 stars
“Employment Law: A Very Short Introduction” was written by David Cabrelli, the professor of Labour Law at the University of Edinburgh and the author of 5 books. This book contained a decent overview of employment law, and I learned about other countries; however, I learned much more in my Employment Law class this semester. Here are some main points:
Employment contract = employment relationship and rights. No employment contract = no employment relationship and rights. The various roles governing the constitution, classification, variation, contact, performance, suspension, and termination of the employment relationship are all derived from contract law.
There is a rise of atypical workers in the labor markets of advanced Western economies, such as the U.S. These independent contractors work very flexibly and as and when they want and often suffer from low pay, little or no job protection or security of earnings, and are subject to the control of those hiring their labor.
British legislation enacted in 1971 protects employees from unfair dismissals. The USA remains an exception to most countries. The USA has an employment-at-will doctrine, which safeguards the liberty of the employee to resign and find another job without liability and allows the employer to discharge the employee without sanction.
One thing that stood out to me, that I hadn’t considered previously, is the quote that “Employers operating at below a living wage are free riding on the back of the public purse.”
This book was a very general overview of employment law, but other books cover much more information.
3 out of 5 stars
“Learning to Disagree: The Surprising Path to Navigating Differences with Empathy and Respect” was an insightful book written by John D. Inazu, a Distinguished Professor of Law and Religion at Washington University in St. Louis. Multiple studies have shown that Americans have a growing disdain for those who differ from them politically and ideologically. We deride our political, religious, and ideological opponents as dangerous or evil and retreat to digital foxholes. This book is a necessary read for many people and a reminder to treat people as humans. Here are some main takeaways:
Good lawyering requires empathy for adversaries. You don’t have to like the other side, but you do have to understand them. How are you going to persuade a judge that you have the better story? The better you understand the other side of an argument, the better you can critique it and the more strongly you can defend your own position.
Assume the best of someone to open the door to deeper understanding and an opportunity to learn from those who see the world differently. Distinguish people from the ideas they hold. Other people are humans with whom you share many things in common. That doesn’t mean you will always share – or even respect – their ideas.
Recognize the limits to your knowledge and understanding. Embrace the likelihood that you won’t be able to convince everyone who thinks differently that you are right and they are wrong.
Well-intentioned people can have differing beliefs without being evil. In a country as large and diverse as the United States, every one of us holds beliefs and opinions that other people think are beyond the pale.
Practice repentance, grace, and forgiveness.
I highly recommend this book and will post a more detailed book blog about it sometime.
5 out of 5 stars
“About Time” is a book of poems by Neil Hilborn, a best-selling author and the most-watched poet ever (with over 150 million views). Neil has performed in 41 states and 8 countries. Neil is one of my favorite poets and is incredibly talented; with that said, I did not enjoy this book as much as his prior books. Here are some quotes that stood out to me:
“Ask the thoughts what they want: Why am I going to kill myself and if I do, go all the way to the logical end: Who will it hurt, what gets left behind, what good remains undone; dissect the bells, separate the ringing into a flat expanse and not the towering blaze telling you it is . . . “
“The Prozac makes me less tired but I’m still pretty tired but maybe that’s cause depression makes you tired.”
“I know why, but why is it that the pills will keep me alive but they give me enough to kill myself?“
To quote my favorite TV personality slash parasocial therapist slash mommy? Doctor Robin Zasio of Hoarders fame: You’ve got to feel it to heal it. As it relates to hoarding, I think she means that if you never throw out things you accumulate then you don’t have to deal with the emotional context around those things.
Many of the poems were somewhat depressing, but this poem provided humor.
4 out of 5 stars
“The Little Book of Sleep: The Art of Natural Sleep” was written by Nerina Ramlakhan, a professional physiologist and sleep therapist for 25 years who runs sleep and wellness programs at Nightingale Hospital in London. This book was a quick, easy read. One description reads: “Drawing on Western science and Eastern practices, this beautifully illustrated guide to sleep teaches that, by making better choices in our waking hours, we can positively influence our sleep.” Here are some tips from the book.
Sattvic describes the type of sleep we should be getting – pure, deep, natural, and healing. This is the kind of sleep where you wake up feeling refreshed, filled with vitality, and looking forward to the day ahead.
The journey back to deep sleep is about working on yourself to create an inner core of safety and making lifestyle choices that will help your nervous system to recalibrate and shift back into safety mode if you’ve been running on survival mode.
Tips:
Eat within 30 minutes of waking.
Reduce your caffeine intake to less than 300 mg per day. The half-life of caffeine is 5 hours. Avoid any caffeine until you’ve eaten.
Drink plenty of water.
Take breaks from technology. Withdraw from technology an hour before you get into bed. Don’t keep your phone in your bedroom or watch TV in bed.
Create a sanctuary in your bedroom. Think soft, relaxing colors, essential oils, and cool and well-ventilated.
Try breath awareness exercises.
Increase your oxytocin levels by expressing your feelings, getting a massage, hugging someone, stroking your pet, and engaging in activities that make you feel at your best, happy, and carefree.
4 out of 5 stars
“The One Minute Manager” was cowritten by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Ken Blanchard is a prominent, gregarious, sought-after author, speaker, and business consultant. Spencer Johnson, M.D. is the author or coauthor of numerous New York Times bestselling books. This book was an insightful and easy read, although it could have been more concise. Here are the main habits of a one minute manager:
One Minute Goal Setting – set goals with their people to make sure they know what they are being held accountable for and what good performance looks like
One Minute Praising – try to catch their people doing something right so that they can give them a One Minute Praising
One Minute Reprimand – reprimand people immediately and tell people specifically what they did wrong then remind them how much you value them and reaffirm that that you think well of them but not of their performance in this situation.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
I read six books in November, some of which were short and easy reads. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in November.
“Where I Dry the Flowers” is a Button Poetry book of poems written by Ollie Schminkey, a non-binary transgender poet and artist who has spent the past decade coaching, mentoring, teaching classes, and running workshops for poets. Many poems in this book are about grieving the loss of a complex person. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves poetry and/or is trying to process grief. Here are some lines I enjoyed from this book.
Controversial opinion: In Defense of Speaking Ill of the Dead – “he is both: the man who would make us smoothies out of orange Kool-Aid and vanilla ice cream and the man who yelled when he drank and drank so often I’d run to the basement and lock the door.”
“I think grief is always at least two things: one, the constant realization that your expectations for the future were wrong, and two, death has happened and it will again.“
Forgiveness poem – “i never said it out loud. Maybe my father wanted forgiveness as much as I wanted an apology, but we stayed silent, the grudge, smooth as a pearl underneath our tongues. but it doesn’t mean i didn’t forgive him. and it doesn’t mean he wasn’t sorry . . . . when he offered me his death as an apology, i took it. of course, i took it.“
One of my favorite poems from the book is this one. I love the idea of contrapuntals.
4 out of 5 stars
“Self-Care Activities for Women: 101 Practical Ways to Slow Down and Reconnect With Yourself” was a quick, easy read with excellent ideas from Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, PhD, a licensed counseling psychologist and coach with over two decades of experience. This book provided different ideas for self-care in different categories: emotional, physical, mental, social, and professional. I highly recommend this book for anyone looking for self-care ideas. Here are some of my favorite ideas from each category.
Emotional self-care: Create your joy playlist. Create a list of songs that bring about positive memories and feelings, and schedule time in your calendar to listen to the entire playlist without multitasking whenever you need a mood shift.
Physical self-care: Plan a hike and picnic outdoors with friends.
Mental self-care: When you find yourself engaging in distracting behavior, reflect. What do I need right now? Is this giving me what I need, or do I need something else? Ex: may need a shower, hydration, exercise, rest, a hug, a good cry, journal reflection, or a talk with a friend.
Social self-care: Schedule activities with people you’d like to get together with on a regular basis. Rotate hosting.
Professional self-care: Establish a morning routine to set the tone for the rest of the day.
Self-care = “the actions one takes on their behalf in service of their well-being. Self-care means giving the world the best of you instead of what is left of you.”
5 out of 5 stars
“How to Be Perfect: An Illustrated Guide” was a quick, fun, simple book written by Rod Padgett and illustrated by Jason Novak that took me under fifteen minutes to read. Here are a handful of my favorite lines.
Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
Be skeptical about all opinions, but try to see some value in each of them.
Learn something new every day.
Be honest with yourself and diplomatic with others.
Be on time, but if you are late do not give a detailed and lengthy excuse.
4 out of 5 stars
“Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World” was written by Devorah Heitner, PhD, who has spoken and written widely about parenting and growing up in the digital age. This book was interesting and thought-provoking, and I highly recommend it for all parents or anyone who hopes to be a parent someday. This review sums it up:
“A must-read for every parent. Emphasizing the importance of our children feeling seen instead of watched, mentored instead of monitored, this book is all at once a road map for preventing digital problems, a resource for what to do when things go wrong, and a crash course in how to empower our kids to become responsible, independent, and thoughtful digital citizens.” – Tina Payne Bryston, LCSW, PhD, NYT bestselling author of “The Whole Brain Child”
I got a lot out of this book, and here are just some of the tips:
Mentoring is better than monitoring if we want to set our kids up for success. We want our kids to make good decisions, even when we are not right there.
We need to do a better job of mentoring kids on how to be intentional about how much they share both online and offline.
Common mistakes from teens and kids: carelessly taking a video of themselves making a crude hang gesture or using profanity, sharing videos of themselves making an unkind joke about a peer or teacher, taking selfies of vaping/drinking/drugs, taking a video mocking someone’s disability, wearing a racist Halloween costume, making fun of someone’s accent or body type, and liking or reposting problematic things.
5 out of 5 stars
“Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact” was written by Phil M. Jones. This book can be considered a masterclass in the art of influence, persuasion, and generating top-producing results. This book often came across as salesy – teaching the world to sell. I highly recommend this book to anyone in sales or anyone who wants to influence or persuade others.
Here are some of the tips:
One of the biggest reasons your ideas fail to get heard is that others tell you that they just don’t have the time to consider them. By using the preface, “When would be a good time to . . .?” you prompt the other person to subconsciously assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option.
The words, “As I see it, you have three options” help the other person through the decision-making process and allow you to appear impartial in doing so. Present your option last and as the easiest. Then ask “What’s going to be easier for you?“
“What happens next is . . . ” brings people through to the completion that needs to follow. It is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close.
Success in negotiating is all about maintaining control in a conversation, and the person in control is always the person who is asking the questions. Challenge objections with “What makes you say that?” This shift of control now leaves the other person obligated to give an answer and fill in the gaps in their previous statement.
5 out of 5 stars
“The Complications: On Going Insane In America” was written by Emmett Rensin, who reflects on his life with schizoaffective disorder of the bipolar type: the hospitals and medication, the lost jobs and friends, the periods of mania and psychosis, the medication-induced tremor in his hands, etc. This book elevates the conversation around mental illness and challenges us to reexamine what we think we know about a world where one in a hundred people go mad. I learned a lot from this book and highly recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about mental disorders. Here are some of my takeaways:
Some psychotic disorders become milder with age. Others are deteriorating, progressive conditions. Outcomes are difficult to predict.
The causes of severe psychiatric dysfunction are not thoroughly understood, but it is widely perceived that genes are not enough. Some additional event typically precipitates the full break. Trauma, substance abuse, and brain injury are common suspects.
It takes 7-8 years, on average, after initial onset of symptoms to get a diagnosis.
While brain abnormalities exist in some psychiatric patients, there are no consistent organic “signs” of madness, not any biological test for any psychiatric pathology.
“In between the positive exclamations of a psychotic disorder – bouts of delusion, mania, hallucinatory experience – are the dull murmurs of what we call negative symptoms, which generally include a blunt affect, social isolation, difficulty feeling pleasure, a lack of willpower, and poverty of speech.
“One of the greatest predictors of patient prognosis in the case of psychotic disorders is the degree of patient insight, which is to say, the degree to which the patient is aware of their disorder. If you cannot believe that you are ill, then you are unlikely to take your medication. If you do not take your medication, your condition will worsen. If your condition worsens, you are no more likely to take your medication or engage in the tedium of self-care.”
This reflection from the author stood out to me:
I am afraid of reaching a point where I do not want help, do not believe that I need help, where I run away from anyone who tries to help me, or worse, where I become so terrified or angry or violent that I hurt those people until they are not willing to help me anymore. I am afraid that one day I will become so sick that I reach the end of other people’s charity.
4 out of 5 stars – at times, this book was difficult to read and seemingly consisted of tangents and ramblings – however, this was likely due to periods of mania.
4 out of 5 stars
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
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