Tag: #bepresent

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – June 6, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Sad to Savage – How to Create Habits and A Routine With An Inconsistent Schedule
  • Keep a consistent amount of time that you need instead of a consistent time you need to wake up.
  • Pick 1-3 things you want to do in a morning routine and figure out how long it takes to do those tasks. Usually 1 hour – then figure out what time you need to wake up each day
  • Write out your schedule each week.
  • Create at least two morning routines: weekdays vs. weekends. Days you are working vs. days you are off.
  • What would your ideal morning routine be for the days you are working? What would your ideal morning routine look like for the days you are off?
  • Choose a workout you like to do and one that you can do consistently. Build a habit of physical movement on the days that you have off. Build a physical health habit that is realistic and that you can keep consistent.
  • Time consistency helps build your habit – same time every day
  • If you feel like you don’t have time for things, time block. See how much time you are spending on your phone each day instead.
  • Prioritize waking up earlier and doing a morning routine, or work on your routine right away when you get home from work.
  • Grocery shop and meal plan and prep on one of your days off.
  • Nighttime routine- get meals ready for the next day.
  • Focus on having a short routine and long routine. Short routine for nights you work late, are exhausted, and don’t have much time – pick 1-3 things that are crucial for your success the next day (scheduling workout, washing your face, setting out clothes). Long routine for days you aren’t stressed and aren’t getting home late (prepping food for next day, tidying room, reading before bed, washing your face, setting out clothes, etc.)
Inside Out Money – Progress over Perfection
  • Perfectionism – striving for flawlessness, holding excessively high personal standards, and having overly negative reactions to perceived mistakes and setbacks – can lead to a lot of self-criticism and rumination
  • Root of perfectionism is deficit and lack – whole existence is to prove to other people that we are good enough, we have skills, we matter, and that we are high-functioning.
  • Perfectionism can be linked to imposter syndrome. If you’re trying to project a perfect person all the time to others, you might feel like an imposter.
  • Combat perfectionism
    •  Mindfulness – Be present in the moment and understand the emotions that are going on within you – passing thoughts and passing emotions.
    • Meditation
    • Vulnerability
    • Self-compassion
    • Radical acceptance – we can’t control everything. We need to do the best with what we have.
  • Focus on balance and progress over perfection with finances.
  • Have a growth mindset. See mistakes as learning opportunities. We can always strive to get together while also being kind and compassionate to ourselves and those around us.
  • Tips:
    • Just get started. Don’t put off working on your finances and tracking your net worth and expenses just because you are afraid to see the results.
    • Focus on the things that you need to improve around your finances and set realistic goals. Ex: improving credit score, paying off debt, increasing savings rate
    • Learn from your mistakes. Recognize ahead of time that you will make mistakes and you can get better at this.
    • Set consistent habits and automate things when you can.
    • Avoid perfection paralysis. There is never a perfect time or perfect situation to start doing better. Don’t wait for the right time.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty – 7 Habits to Be Present
  • Wake up twenty minutes before you have to. If your first thought when you wake up is, “I’m already behind” you are already living in a feeling that you need to catch up with time. Our language and our thoughts set how we feel. That thought will repeat itself for the rest of the day. If you start your day slower mentally and physically, you can maintain that momentum as it speeds up.
  • Connect with yourself. What is the one thing you need to do for yourself today?
  • Calendar – what is the one thing you need to do today to make it a great day?
  • Check in with someone else.  
  • One device at a time: tv, laptop, phone. Your brain processes background noise. Limit your focus to one device at a time. Having a rule is better than not having a boundary.
  • Take thirty seconds when you enter a new room, new space, or a new part of your day to engage your senses. What can you see, hear, touch, smell, and taste?
  • Obey the speed limit. One of the ways we feel the most out of touch is when we are driving. Is shaving off two minutes worth the risks of what you may experience?
  • Be present with your breath. Breathe in for 4 and out for 4 counts. Reconnect with your breath and your body.
  • Prioritize extended periods of silence – increases brain cells, helps you be more focused and productive, helps you relax and slow down
  • Experience nature – gives us a feeling of time abundance, sense of time is slower and more meaningful
Life Kit – Summer fun on a budget
  • Public parks and beaches
  • Field day with friends – three-legged race, water balloon toss
  • Park programming – events calendar
  • Penny date – explore things without an objective. Take a coin, pick a direction for heads and tails, and flip the coin and see what direction it takes you. Stop when you see something interesting.
  • Go to the farmer’s market.
  • Parades
  • Coloring book and colored pencils
  • Open mic nights/poetry slams
  • Museums  – some museums offer free admission on certain days
  • Recreate a family recipe.
  • Themed hangouts – pick a theme and invite people over
  • House/apartment swap with a friend
  • Go to an open house, even if you aren’t in the market
  • Go to the mall and try on silly outfits
  • Write your future self a letter

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 22, 2024

amybenoit

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast – 4 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Unrealistic Body Standards
  • Many women have an unrealistic standard for their body in the timeframe they want to achieve it. We aren’t aware of the timeframe it takes to get to that standard. Also, many people don’t want to give up the lifestyle they want to live to achieve that standard.
  • The standards we are holding our bodies to are incredibly toxic.
  • Are your standards too high? Are you wanting to see shredded abs, toned arms, and perfect legs? If so, why? Why do you want these things? What about these things will make you happier or better? You are enough the way you are.
  • Are you holding yourself to someone else’s standard? Your friend’s goals don’t need to be your goals. Your friend’s insecurities don’t need to be your insecurities. Hold yourself to your own standard. Holding yourself to someone else’s standard takes you away from your own goals.
  • Do you hold yourself to an unattainable standard? Many bodies photos and videos are edited and airbrushed and filtered, so you shouldn’t look at their bodies as a goal that is attainable. The workouts that influencers are posting about are often not the workouts they are doing to get the body they have. People wouldn’t watch the videos of their actual workouts because they aren’t as fun to watch or they wouldn’t want to watch all of them.
  • Are you holding yourself to an old standard of yourself? Ex: you think you need to be the same size or weight as you were at a certain point in your life. Your life can be drastically different now compared to then. It probably wouldn’t be good for you to get back to that place. As we age, our bodies should change. As we have children, our bodies are different, and that’s a good thing. Are you holding yourself to an old standard? Do you really want to go back to the mentality that came with that standard, or should you accept that you can have a healthier, better body with a better mindset?

Your body can change and you can actually be healthier, stronger, and more confident. You can feel better than you did before.

Talks at Google – Jason Derulo – Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream

This podcast covered tidbits from Jason Derulo’s book, “Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream.”

  • Jason Derulo reads the comments on his videos on social media and finds way to constructively apply them. Jason looks for any way to be better by choosing to pick apart comments and choosing what to change.
  • Even though Jason Derulo has gone independent and was able to get a platinum record as an independent artist, he still sees the value in having a team. Independent artists are not typically the most successful artists out there, although there are anomalies.
  • Jason wants readers to know that there’s so much joy within the journey. When people talk about hard work, they make it sound like a bad thing, but those struggles can be some of the best memories to look back on. Looking back at where you started and where you’ve come can be satisfying. Find something you are passionate about and find happiness within chasing that particular outcome. Just because it’s hard work doesn’t mean it’s not fun.
  • People love stories of someone rising. It’s never too late to change your path. Some people on TikTok are old and very popular.
Life Kit – How to be a ‘supercommunicator’
  • This podcast was based on the book “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg.
  • When we really connect with someone in conversation, it’s reflected in our bodies and our brains. Eye pupils start to dilate at the same rate, breath patterns start to match each other, heart rates start to match each other, and brain waves start to look like each other.
  • Communication is connection. In order to really connect, aim to have a learning conversation. Aim to learn about other perspectives in a conversation. Practice looping for understanding. Ask someone a question, listen to what they say, repeat back in your own words what you heard them say, and ask them if you got it right. Usually, the other person doesn’t know if we are listening or if we are just waiting for our turn to speak. By taking these steps, you will both trust each other more.
  • Matching isn’t as simple as mimicking someone’s body language.
  • Every discussion is made up of multiple different kinds of conversations: practical (solving problems or making plans), emotional (sharing how you are feeling and wanting them to empathize or listen, not solve a problem), and social (how we see each other in the context of society). Understand what kind of conversation you are having with someone and try to match.
  • Ask deep questions – questions about values, beliefs, or experiences. Their answers will tell you what type of conversation to have with them (practical, emotional, or social).
  • Prepare for conversations. Write down three topics you think you could discuss with strangers. Oftentimes, those topics won’t come up, but you can increase your confidence by being aware of them.
  • Almost any question that asks “why?” helps people open up. We are inviting the other person to explain who they are.
  • Be authentic. Supercommunicators tend to ask more questions, laugh more, and be authentic. If you say something that indicates you are struggling with something, they authentically listen to you and might share about themselves or ask questions about that.
Self Improvement Daily – “Be here now.”

“In a world that is busier, more distracting, and trying to hijack our attention more than ever, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be present. Rather than having a moment to ourselves waiting in a line, we compulsively check our emails. Rather than focusing on preparing our meal, we have a podcast or Youtube video on in the background.

But if we’re being honest, does constantly seeking stimulation and splitting our attention actually offer the quality we want in our lives?

There’s so much more dimension to the present moment than we allow ourselves to see. When we choose to be present, to be here now (and not off doing something else or with other thoughts in the back of our minds), we allow the moment to deliver everything it has to offer.”

This is something I am constantly working on. Some of my best moments of connection in friendships have been when we are without our phones or other distractions – when we forget about the time and all of the other things that could be competing for our attention. These moments are so rare in today’s society.

Take a moment to immerse yourself in the here and now and be present with what’s happening around you, or else you might be missing something magical.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!