“Killing Sacred Cows: Overcoming the Financial Myths That Are Destroying Your Prosperity” was written by Garrett B. Gunderson and was both educational and interesting. In the financial world, sacred cows are the myths and traditions that distort our thinking about money, wealth, success, and prosperity. I don’t agree with all of the information provided, but this book left me pondering and learning about new perspectives.
This book emphasized finding your soul purpose and maximizing your human life value. In a nutshell, your soul purpose is utilizing your talents, abilities, and passions productively and effectively to make an impact on the world and bring joy to you and others. Human life value is your combination of knowledge, skills, and abilities you can use to increase your income.
The first step to increasing our human life value is education. Then, we must take action on what we have learned and dedicate ourselves to finding and living our soul purpose. The ultimate end of every one of our decisions should be to get us closer to finding and living our soul purpose. What strengths, abilities, skills, or advantages do you feel could be utilized to create maximum value in the marketplace?
Learn to prioritize value and utility over price. Would you buy it if it weren’t on sale? Consider opportunity costs. Most financial advice focuses on cutting costs and saving. This book takes a different approach. Instead of “I can’t afford this” ➠ “How can I create more value in the world so that I can afford this?”
Banks make $ without big risks. They check your credit, secure their investments with collateral, require a down payment, determine interest rate/payment/period, sometimes impose prepayment penalties, cover their investments with insurance, and transfer their risks to the borrower in any way possible. We as investors/gamblers don’t have any of these risk management tools.
Three quotes about retirement resonated with me:
“Our goal should never be to become millionaires; our goals should be based on what will bring us our ideal quality of life and the highest level of happiness.”
“The ultimate end of every one of our decisions should be to get us closer to finding and living our soul purpose. If you found your soul purpose, would you ever want to retire?”
“What are you waiting for? Why not live like you really want to today instead of buying into the financial myths that tell you that your dreams are only possible in retirement?”
This author really emphasized that 401(k)s are a “scam” due to limited opportunity for cash flow, lack of liquidity, market dependency, lack of knowledge, administrative fees, underutilization because of tax deferral, higher tax brackets upon withdrawal, estate taxes, no exit strategy, no guarantees, no control of performance, and a penalty for withdrawing early. While I understand his points, I’m unsure of alternatives, as the author didn’t delve into them. It is important to be aware of fees, investment options, and vesting schedules when contributing to a 401(k).
This book presented some new information and perspectives, but was not comprehensive. It can be part of your financial education, but there are better financial books out there that are more educational.
I love forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:
Optimal Health Daily- 5 Small Habits For Big Changes in Fat Loss by Lea Genders
Prioritize protein/veggies at each meal. Protein helps you maintain muscle and protein and fiber from veggies help you feel full. Focus on what you can add to your meals to make them healthier rather than what you have to take away.
Eat slow and mindfully. When you gobble down your food quickly, you don’t give your stomach enough time to send the signal to your brain that it’s full. Pay attention to fullness signals and stop eating when you’re full.
Walk fast. Walk with purpose, bring a dog, or start a power walking routine.
Prioritize sleep. Create a sleep routine and aim for 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
Replace all drinks with water. If you replace all soda, juice, energy drinks, and sugar-filled drinks with water, you’ll cut hundreds of empty calories each day. You can use some sugar-free flavoring packets to encourage you to drink more water. I love True Lemon packets, available in a variety of flavors at 0-10 calories each and 0-1 gram of sugar each. This might seem like a lot, but it’s a much better alternative to sugar-laden drinks.
Self Improvement Daily- HALT Before You Communicate
Often times we say things we don’t mean, that we’ll later regret, and wonder why we even said them in the first place. We wonder what caused us to not have the self-control needed in those situations. It’s usually a matter of feeling emotional. Our emotions often take precedence over logical reasoning.
Before you communicate, especially when you’re feeling impulsive, HALT. Pause. Take a moment to think about how you’re feeling. In particular, reflect on these four things:
Hungry?
Angry?
Lonely?
Tired?
When you’re feeling any of these things, you’re more likely to say things you don’t mean because your mind is fixated on these specific needs. By calling out these emotions, you give your logical mind the information it needs to make the right decision.
TED Talks Daily- TikTok’s CEO on its future — and what makes its algorithm different – Shou Chew
I discovered TikTok in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, and I have learned many things and spent countless hours on the app. One unique thing I realized right away about TikTok is that it gives people a platform to reach a larger audience than other social media apps.
The mission of TikTok is to inspire creativity and bring joy. The vision is to provide a window to discover, give them a canvas to create, and provide bridges for people to connect.
Per Shou Chew, the CEO: “What makes TikTok unique is the whole discovery engine behind it. We are showing people what they like. We have given the everyday person a platform to be discovered.”
The biggest creator, Khaby Lame, in TikTok didn’t even speak in any of his videos in the beginning. Lame is famous for his comic expressions and deadpan reactions to overstylized TikToks. Today he has 158 million followers on the platform. As long as you have talent, you have the chance to succeed.
TikTok has given many people a voice that they would otherwise not have. Other platforms basically made the chances of getting discovered very low. You almost had to be famous to get followers.
With TikTok, if you post something that’s not interesting to a lot of people, you aren’t going to get the virality you want. You need to have a message that resonates with people, and you will generate virality.
Recommendation algorithm- shows you what others are interested in who liked the same videos as you. Vision= window to discover. People find communities because of the content that they are posting.
Other apps are built for a different original purpose.
In order to fulfill its mission of discovery, showing users a diversity of content is essential.
TikTok has created a platform for people who never thought they would be a content creator. Has given them an audience. STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) content has over 160 billion views.
User guidelines: no pornography, child sexual abuse material, no violence. Users under 18 years old experience a more restricted app and can’t use the livestream experience. Users under 16 can’t instant message or go viral. A big part of the age guideline is based on the age the user reports when signing up.
TikTok’s goal is NOT to optimize and maximize time spent on the platform. Minors= 60 minute recommendation. TikTok has given parents tools to limit childrens’ time spent on TikTok.
Over 10,000 employees are currently looking at content moderation, and this group is based in Ireland. Most of the moderation has to be done by machines, but they aren’t always on point, so they complement with actual people.
Guideline categories: mature, not suitable for teenagers. If content contains these guidelines, TikTok proactively removes it from users’ TikTok experience. If you search certain terms, you are redirected to a resource safety page.
Data access by employees is not the same as data access by the government. TikTok has implementing storing localized American data on American soil by an American company overseen by American personnel. This is beyond what any company in this industry has ever done- localizing in a way no company has ever done. All new U.S. Data is already stored in the Oracle cloud infrastructure.
TikTok’s desire is to keep Tiktok a place of freedom and expression (you can search for anything you want subject to community guidelines).
TikTok has popularized a variety of content: dancing, singing, science content, booktok, learning how to cook, sports, encouraging people to read. Booktok has 120 billion views globally.
TikTok is connecting people and communities together. 5 million businesses in the U.S. benefit from TikTok today.
Life Kit-A better way to talk to your doctor
Find someone who you can built a partnership with, someone who listens, and someone who will take your symptoms seriously and foster that bond. Your health is your most important asset. You need to find someone who will be on your team and be a good partner.
Prepare as if you’re going to your accountant and getting ready for taxes. Write down what has been happening/symptoms and your family history, and answer when your symptoms started, what you were doing when symptoms started, what makes symptoms worse, how long symptoms have persisted, whether symptoms ever get better, and your previous history.
Anything you can describe (duration, time it started, details) can lead to higher chances of coming up with a diagnosis. Sometimes your doctor may not ever have a clear answer for you.
Your doctor might not know what’s going on right away. Instead, you may receive a differential diagnosis, or a list of possibilities. Schedule follow-ups.
Fill out docs on the patient portal before you get there to help maximize the time together.
When you get a diagnosis, ask for more information. What do we know? What do I have to do? What is the treatment plan?
If you feel dismissed, this is a sign this isn’t the doctor for you. It needs to be a partnership. You don’t need to stick with the doctor for the rest of your life if you aren’t comfortable.
Advocate for yourself. When you get a diagnosis, ask: What’s actually happening in my body right now? What’s the treatment? How does the treatment work? How often will I take that medication? Will this condition ever go away? How will this condition affect my life? When should we follow up?
Think of your relationship with your medical provider as a partnership. You should be working together to come up with a diagnosis or a plan. Keep a medical logbook with important details. When you get a diagnosis, consider a second opinion. It’s okay to change medical providers and it might be a good idea if they’re not listening to you, they confuse you, or if you don’t feel like you can talk to them.
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast- Top Consumer Complaints and Car Shopping in 2023
The top consumer complaints of 2022 include negative information on credit reports that was not accurate, accounts that didn’t belong to consumers but were still on the report, credit inquiries that people didn’t recognize, and being pursued for a debt that the person didn’t owe.
Average price for a used car is still around $26k!!
Supplies still unable to meet demand- prices remain high
Tips: allow yourself time to shop around for both the car and the car loan. Get several auto loan offers before going to the auto dealer. Don’t tell the dealer upfront that you intend to pay cash. They may try to make up for lost revenue in the price of the car.
Auto rates are the highest they’ve been since 2009. Average used car loan is 11.03% interest. Some people can get 5% interest.
Tips: Shop around. Know your financing options. Think about the trade-offs. Buying a car with cash can keep you out of debt, but you might be able to get a better return on that investment.
One book I’ve read this past week is “How to Live on 24 Hours a Day” written by Arnold Bennett and originally published in 1908. These points stood out to me:
We never shall have any more time. We have, and we have always had, all the time there is.
Arnold Bennett
Everyone receives the same 24 hours in a day. Many view their hours at work as a day and the rest as a margin. You say your day is already full to overflowing, yet you spend 8+ hours working and 7-8 hours sleeping. What are you doing during the other 8 hours?!
Arrange a day within a day. Think of your day outside of work as another day within your day. Have a reflective mood. Devote time each day to reading, learning, or bettering yourself. I have been committed to doing this as part of my daily habits.
You have to live on this twenty-four hours of daily time. Out of it, you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your immortal soul. Which of us lives on twenty-four hours a day? And when I say “lives,” I do not mean “exists” or “muddles through.”
Arnold Bennett
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
“Getting Away- 75 Everyday Practices for Finding Balance in Our Always-On World” was published in 2020 and written by Jon Staff, a founder of Getaway. This was one of the most fascinating, insightful books I read in 2022 and it was packed with resources from hiking, phone apps, volunteering, flowers, etc.!
This book presented 75 ideas for finding balance in our daily lives. How we spend our days, is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Among my favorite suggestions: keep a gratitude journal, turn off push notifications and audit your phone usage, practice deep listening by not tending to your phone when having in-person conversations, wake up with a physical alarm clock, focus on one task at a time, observe a digital sabbath, listen to an album from start to finish, go on hikes, and add downtime to your calendar.
“Allowing an app to send you notifications is like allowing someone to insert a commercial into your life anytime they want.”
Jon Staff
Disable push notifications. Audit your phone usage by going to Settings (ScreenTime for iOS, Digital Wellbeing for Android). After reading this, I have regularly turned off most push notifications (Facebook, Messenger, Outlook, etc.) and it has been so freeing! I feel less stressed without these interruptions throughout the day and am more productive!
The average American spends 20 hours/week watching TV! This is the equivalent of a part-time job! Make a list of activities to do in your new free time instead.
Wake up to the radio as an alarm. Humans are conditioned to hear voices, not beeps. Also, listen to an AM/FM radio or an entire album sometimes. This creates an added level of discovery. You can’t control what plays and you are likely to hear something new. I know I’m guilty of switching songs every time I stream and don’t feel like listening to a song at a particular time and I think I will try this!
Several resources were also provided in this book:
Phone apps to control app usage: RescueTime, Self Control
Hiking: All Trails, Hiking Project, Outdoor Project, Trail Link
Getaway outposts are located throughout the United States. Find out more here: https://getaway.house/our-outposts.I have stayed at a tiny Getaway cabin a couple times, and I highly recommend it. I have loved the convenience of nature and several hiking trails and state parks somewhat nearby. Hiking is one of my favorite activities to “get away.”Last year, we stayed at Getaway for my birthday and hiked at four state parks in four days!
Some of my favorite personal photos from my Getaway trips:
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:
There’s a common misconception that if you like to meticulously organize your things, keep your hands clean, or plan out your weekend to the last detail, you might be OCD. Many people use OCD as a joke and naively claim that they or others must have OCD.
Myth 1: Repetitive or ritualistic behaviors are synonymous with OCD.
OCD has 2 aspects: intrusive thoughts, images, and/or impulses AND the behavioral compulsions people engage in to relieve the anxiety the obsessions cause.
People affected have little or no control over their obsessive thoughts or behaviors and these thoughts or behaviors interfere with work, school, and a social life and cause significant distress.
Myth 2: The main symptom is obsessive handwashing.
This is not always true. OCD can vary from fears of contamination and illness, preoccupation with numbers or patterns, excessive cleaning or double checking, and walking in predetermined patterns.
OCD sufferers report feeling crazy for their irrational thoughts, yet find it difficult to control their actions.
OCD is a neurobiological disorder in which brains of those impacted are hardwired to behave in a certain fashion.
Treatments include medications that increase serotonin in the brain, behavioral therapy that gradually desensitizes patients to their anxieties, and, as a last resort, electro compulsive therapy when OCD does not respond to other forms of treatment.
This is a compelling poem that covers the realities of having OCD. I’m a big fan of Neil Hilborn.
Self Care IRL- Ten polite ways to say no to someone
We are afraid of hurting feelings when we say no. Many people are chronic people-pleasers. Yet, saying no is an essential part of your self-care and emotional well-being.
Just be honest, but remember to be gentle. “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I have other commitments. I really appreciate the invitation.”
Try offering an alternative you’re comfortable with.
Use statements that begin with I. “I really appreciate the invitation, but I have some other commitments.” Don’t blame the other person for not considering your schedule.
Get in the habit of saying thank you. Make sure to express your appreciation sincerely.
Use humor to lighten the mood.
Be firm, but kind. Be direct, yet understanding.
Offer brief explanations if you want to.
Say no without apologizing! You don’t need to feel guilty for setting any boundaries. Be confident and assertive, yet respectful and kind.
Use the sandwich approach. Sandwich your refusal/no between two positive statements. Show you still value and appreciate them.
Practice saying no. Set boundaries and stick to them. Prioritize your needs.
Radio Headspace- The Ingredients of Our Lives
When we cook, we don’t try to change ingredients – we simply use what we have been given.
The flavors of our lives are unique and certain ingredients are needed at certain times. The more you fixate on things you don’t have, the more upset you get.
Look at what you have to work with and try to make the most of it. Be at peace with what’s going on. Life ebbs and flows. Sometimes our ingredients are bountiful and sometimes the pantry is pretty bare.
Too much of anything can be detrimental. Sometimes your mind can make it seem like you don’t have enough of the right ingredients. You might be caught up in the trap of wanting more friends, more money, more recognition. Have you ever accidentally added too much salt to a dish? You can’t salvage it. The invitation here is to trust what you’ve been given and find contentment with what you have.
We can literally clean our homes and our kitchen. Sometimes having a decluttered space can help declutter our minds. When our home is clean, we feel clear, connected, and at ease.
Optimal Living Daily- 10 Unconventional Habits to Live Distraction-Less by Joshua Becker
Our world has become a constant feed of breaking news, information, and entertainment. Breaking news breaks into our day at breakneck speed, and we are fed messages relentlessly from advertisements on nearly every flat surface.
Turn off smart phone notifications. Our smart phones are one of the greatest sources of distraction in our lives. The average person touches his or her phone 2,617 times every day! 😲 To limit the distracted nature of your smartphone, turn off all non-essential notifications: social media, e-mails, gaming, etc.
Read and answer e-mail only twice each day. Schedule your e-mail processing to limit incoming distraction.
Complete 1-2 minute projects immediately to live with less distraction.
Remove physical clutter. Clutter is a significant form of visual distraction. Everything in our eyesight pulls at our attention and the more we remove, the less visual stress and distraction we experience. Clear your desk, walls, counters, and home of unneeded distractions.
Clear visible, distracting digital clutter.
Accept and accentuate your personal rhythms. Figure out what works best for you. More mentally challenging tasks-morning. Easier tasks- evening.
Establish a healthy morning routine. The first hour is the rudder of the day. Begin your days on your terms apart from distraction. Develop a distraction-free morning routine.
Cancel cable or unplug the television. The average American watches 37-40 hours of television each week!
Keep a to-do list. No matter how hard you try to manage yourself, new responsibilities and opportunities will surface in your mind from internal and external sources. The opportunity to quickly write down the task allows it to be quickly discarded from your mind.
Care less about what other people think. There is no value in wasting mental energy over the negative criticism of those who only value their own self-interests. Stop living distracted over the opinion of people who don’t matter.
HBR IdeaCast- The Ins and Outs of the Influencer Industry
Influencers drive consumer trends.
The influencer industry dates back to the first decade of the 21st century. When the recession happened, so many people turned to these new platforms that seemed promising to invent a new way of working. The early influencers usually worked in fashion and beauty and shared their ideas about a range of topics related to commercial industries like fashion and beauty.
In the beginning, it was mostly bloggers and Youtubers talking about topics that are near and dear to them in some way and creating content centered on their niche or professional expertise. They fell backwards into this work because it didn’t exist at the time. There was more truth to the narrative “we’re doing what we love/creating content of what we love.”
Once those early bloggers and influencers started to gain traction, advertisers recognized these early influencers as potential persuaders and offered branding details. After that initial wave, there was a crushing wave of people flocking to social media who also wanted to be an influencer.
Once the field became so saturated, it became about cultivating a sense of authenticity and presenting themselves in predictable ways to their audience members. It is getting harder to break through.
Influencers often identify themselves as entrepreneurs. They need to find a balance between authenticity, credibility, and drawing in endorsements to succeed. This balance is hard to attain and there are few and far between. Many influencers have chosen to leave all together or move into marketing because they don’t want to reveal many details of their personal lives.
There is a largely unseen sector of the influencer industry that are marketing middleman type firms that help brands connect to the right influencers for them. Brands can get access to databases and search key words/stats/content specialties and engage with them in a transactional way. Brands can also post a campaign looking for influencers.
A big criticism of the influencer industry is that those who rise to a high level of prominence are predominantly fairly wealthy white young women.
Despite the popular narrative of the influencer industry as being all about doing what you love, following your passion, democratizing culture…it is not free of these biases and problems that plague society. While there has been more awareness of this in recent years, there is still so much work to be done.
One of the prevailing problems is that there is little to no transparency in how these deals are being made, what the pay is, what type of content is worth how much, etc. There is even a large variance among different influencers for the same deals.
Most companies that engage in influencer marketing rely on the advice of marketing agencies they use to ensure they are getting their money’s worth.
Using an authentic niche influencer is generally better than paying a high-level celebrity for an endorsement.
The Walmart spotlight program is the largest and highest profile program. It essentially incentivizes Walmart employees to post about their time working at Walmart, share online a day in the life of working at Walmart, new products, etc. They reward employees who do it really well with cash bonuses or a free product. Consider rewarding employees with influencer skills.
Some companies cultivate their regular customers as influencers by encouraging them to post about try-ons in dressing rooms, such as Banana Republic and Loft. There are ramifications, and some question why we are rewarding influencer-like behaviors and to what ends.
The role of broader economic precarity in this space (societal factors drive people to want to pursue this work- entrepreneur, professional autonomy), lasting impact on technological evolution of social media (we’ve come to expect commercialism in our feeds), and extreme adaptability (driven influencers who want to adapt to changing times and technologies can keep growing) signal that influencing will continue to exist and is here to stay.
Benefits– opportunities for entrepreneurialism, effective ways of getting media messages out there, networking, community
Drawbacks- rapid spread of misinformation, mental health toll
Advice for aspiring influencers: go into it with eyes wide open. Know that this is a line of work that is incredibly difficult. Although people can find great satisfaction and a solid income, it is not as common as popular narratives would lead you to believe. Go into it with the knowledge that, while you will be entrepreneurial, you are still beholden to other stakeholders and other people who have a vested interest in the work that you are doing.
Advice for those working for companies who want to tap into this industry: value influencers as professional colleagues instead of one-off engagement/transactional. Companies will find more value and satisfaction in a long-term relationship. Treat them as valued collaborators whom you pay fairly and work closely with.
Advice for consumers who are being bombarded by influencers: try to engage with a little bit of distance. Know that there is a range of pressures that influencers are navigating behind the scenes that shape the content that we see.
New book: The Influencer Industry: The Quest for Authenticity on Social Media by Emily Hund
One book I read this past week is “A Descending Spiral: Exposing the Dealth Penalty in 12 Essays” written by Marc Bookman. This was published by New Press, a nonprofit, public interest publisher. Marc Bookman is the executive director of the Atlantic Center for Capital Representation, a nonprofit that provides services for those facing possible execution.
Honestly, this book was eye-opening about the cruelty and injustice of the death penalty. The essays detailed problems with ineffective counsel, racist jurors and judges, anti-Semitism, prosecutorial misconduct, withholding exculpatory evidence about alternate suspects, ethical violations, false confessions, and mental illness. One case involved Andre Lee Thomas, who is currently on death row for stabbing his estranged wife and kids. Andre suffers from mental illness to the point where he removed both of his eyeballs in separate incidents and ingested one of them. 😲Another issue with his case is that jurors who said they opposed interracial marriage were allowed to serve. Thomas is Black and his estranged wife was white. The U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear an appeal on this issue.
Other take-aways from this book:
Verdicts in capital cases are different than in all other cases in that the decision whether someone should live or die is a moral one, rather than factual or legal. A life-or-death sentencing decision in a capital case is the product of individual reflection. Each juror weighs the arguments for life imprisonment or execution on his or her own.
Some states require a unanimous vote by a jury and some don’t. Some states previously allowed judges to override a jury’s decision. In some cases, juries voted for life imprisonment and judges overrode their decision and sentenced defendants to be executed.
Serial murderers like Washington State’s Green River Killer, the Unabomber, and the Kansas BTK Killer are serving multiple life sentences after plea bargains, while those who choose to go to trial having committed far less egregious crimes often end up executed or on death row.
11% of DNA exonerations have also involved witness identifications that later proved to be incorrect, but prosecutors and judges are far less likely to acknowledge the possible injustice of a misidentification when there is no DNA to confirm it.
Reforms that have been suggested to reduce the risk of wrongful convictions include proceeding with investigative interrogation rather than confrontational interrogation, videotaping interrogations, and implementing special protections for juveniles and those with cognitive or psychological impairments. Many false confessions are the result of confrontational and coerced interrogations and mental illness.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:
Self Improvement Daily- Getting Started Setting Goals
Setting goals is an effective way to structure your efforts and get a desired result. However, many people set goals too big without a plan. Ex: go from not working out at all to working out 6 days per week. Others set goals without much of a plan. Ex: drink more water. Eat healthier.
You don’t need to wait to have a perfectly defined and thought through goal before getting started. As you begin pursuing your goals, you collect more reference points and information to aid in defining your goal and the structure of achieving your goal. As you get closer to your goals, they get clearer. You should always be intentional about pursuing more clarity.
A goal I had for quite some time was to drink more water. There were times I drank up to a gallon per day (too much for me), but other times, I got so consumed in my work that I didn’t finish my first 16 ounces until after lunch! “Drink more water” was not a clearly structured goal for me. When I noticed that I regularly wasn’t finishing my first 16 ounces until well into the afternoon, I revised my goal to include “drink 1 bottle of water before the workday starts.” That goal is structured, measurable, and helps me to drink more water throughout the day.I also use True Lemon packets (available in a variety of flavors) to increase my water intake.
Another goal could start off as “eat healthier.” This could be structured by committing to planning staple breakfast foods and meal prepping healthy lunches for the week so that you don’t have the urge to order takeout during the work week.
Psych2Go Mental Health Podcast- 10 Toxic Things Parents Say To Their Kids
You look terrible.
You’re a freak.
You’re so immature.
I’m going to send you to boarding school.
Once you’re 18, I’m going to kick you out.
This is your fault.
Show me some respect (when it isn’t due/when it’s toxic).
Do what I say or else.
You are terrible at ___.
You’re the worst student.
I am grateful that I didn’t hear any of these phrases directed at me growing up, but I know of people who have. It is important to show love to your children and allow them to make mistakes, express their own individuality, and overcome obstacles that can turn into learning experiences.
Life Kit- Put your savings to work
When we put money into a traditional savings account when inflation is high, its value is eroding.
Savings account interest rates may be as low as 0.01%, and the average interest rate is currently 0.24%. Some banks have increased interest rates due to inflation, and smaller banks are offering better rates than bigger banks.
Online banks offer better rates due to not having to maintain brick and mortar locations. Be sure to research minimum deposits and hidden fees and read the fine print! I recently created an account for CIT bank online, which offers interest rates between 4.50%-4.75%!
Aside from savings accounts, CDs are another option. The longer the term, the better the rate is. Be sure you can commit to the term, as you can’t withdraw $ during that term without paying a penalty.
Ibonds are inflation bonds where you are lending the government $ and the government agrees to pay you back at a later date with interest. Ibonds increased in popularity in 2022, as the interest rate was over 9%! The government sets Ibond rates every 6 months, and the term is for 5 years, although you can access your money before the 5-year term is up by forfeiting the last 3 months’ interest. The interest rate was just adjusted down to 4.30% in May 2023.
Taxes: the interest earned from savings accounts and CDs is taxable. Ibonds are exempt from state and local taxes, but you will have to pay federal income tax when you cash in on the bonds.
Consider switching savings accounts to one with a better interest rate. You may also want to consider government bonds for medium-term or long-term savings or CDs for short-term savings.
Self Care IRL- 14 Ways to Strengthen Your Friendships
Make your friendships a priority.
Start by staying in touch.
Try to think about what your friend needs right now. How can you be helpful or of value?
Stop judging. You are never going to be 100% approving of anyone or the decisions of anyone, including yourself!
Give an occasional compliment.
Spend time together.
Find common interests that you share, and do those things together!
Take on a new challenge together. Humans become closer with those they suffer with and overcome obstacles with.
Take a road trip.
Try new things together, such as restaurants, events, or activities.
Play fair. Don’t one up your friends.
Express your gratitude. Let them know you value them.
Admit and apologize.
Be authentic and be honest.
How to Be a Better Human- How to keep house while drowning
Reframe chores. Chores feel like an obligation. Some chores should be considered care tasks because they are tasks that you do to care for yourself, such as dishes, laundry, cleaning, exercising, cooking, organizing, and changing your sheets.
Ask yourself: What can I do right now in order to ensure that I’m being kind to my tomorrow self?
With other household stuff, acknowledge that good enough is perfect, and everything worth doing is worth doing partially. I struggle with this. I want to put my 100% into everything, so when I can’t dedicate the time and energy, sometimes I just don’t do it at all.
With chores, ask yourself these questions: What is the part you hate? What about it do you hate? Is there a way to skip that step or delegate? How can I add pleasure or joy to it? Ex: use a timer and dedicate a specific amount of time to a task, then stop when the timer goes off. Play your favorite playlist while doing a task you don’t enjoy doing.
Focus on Marriage Podcast- Common Problems and Letting Go of Selfishness
Many newly married couples have unrealistic expectations of marriage, such as “We are always going to agree on spending money. We will draw closer to our family and in-laws once we are married. We will divide up household responsibilities equally. We will have amazing sex often. I will never feel lonely in my marriage.” These unmet expectations are common sources of frustration in marriage.
Despite these common struggles, remember to ask yourself: What do you like about your partner? Why did you marry your partner? Why do you believe you’re married today?
One interesting point made in this podcast is that husbands are often looking for validation, and women feel resentment because they feel they are doing more than their husbands and it goes unnoticed.
Also, husbands often hear more about what they don’t do than about what they do do, leading them to feel unloved and unappreciated. They are seeking affirmations. Provide affirmations, appreciation, and validation, and also put effort into equalizing responsibilities.
Optimal Living Daily- How to Create Time for Self-Care Without Feeling Guilty by Ellen Burgan
When you take care of yourself, you have more energy, patience, and compassion for others AND yourself.
Common obstacles to self-care and what you can do about them:
“I don’t have enough time” ⇛ This is a sign that you’re prioritizing others above yourself. This is a matter of how we choose to use our time. Remember that taking care of yourself will ultimately make you more productive and efficient in the long run.
“I can’t afford it” ⇛ Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive. There are several free or low-cost options, such as going for a walk, doing yoga at home, journaling, reading a book, coloring, or listening to music or a podcast.
“I don’t know how to do it” ⇛ It doesn’t have to be complicated. Find something you enjoy doing, and go do it. Find what works for you and make it a regular part of your routine. For me, self-care includes reading, exercising, listening to podcasts, and journaling + the very occasional massage.
“I’m too tired” ⇛ This is an even better indication to take time for yourself! Self-care can help boost energy levels, relieve stress and burnout, and improve sleep.
“I don’t have anyone to do it with” ⇛ You can still take care of yourself while flying solo.
Tips:
Shift the way you think about self-care. Instead of feeling guilty, shift your thoughts to that of well-deserved time to focus on and care for yourself. If you take care of yourself, you will be a more fun person for others to be around.
Prioritize self-care. Schedule self-care and include it in your regular routine.
Set boundaries. Practice saying no to things that don’t align with your priorities or that are draining you. Every time you say no to another obligation, you are saying yes to yourself.
Use small chunks of time. If you can’t find a long burst of time for self-care, use the short bursts of time you have. Maybe spend 10 minutes a couple times a day for yourself, and as you get better at finding dedicated time to yourself, you can increase it to a daily routine.
Ask for help and be willing to accept help. Delegate tasks if you are able to so that you can have some time for yourself.
Crina and Kirsten Get to Work- Workplace Mental Health Takes Center Stage: A New Priority for the Surgeon General
Prioritize workplace physical and psychological health.
Enable adequate rest.
Normalize and support mental health by validating challenges, communicating mental health and well-being as priorities, and offering both support and prevention services.
Connection and community: social support and belonging.
Create cultures of inclusion and belonging.
Cultivate trusted relationships.
Foster collaboration and teamwork.
Work-life harmony: autonomy and flexibility.
Provide more autonomy over how work is done.
Make schedules as flexible and predictable as possible.
Increase access to paid leave.
Respect boundaries between work and non-work time.
Mattering at work: dignity and meaning.
Provide a living wage.
Engage workers in workplace decisions.
Build a culture of gratitude and recognition.
Connect individual work with organizational mission (shared purpose).
Opportunity for growth: learning and accomplishment.
Offer quality training, education, and mentoring.
Foster clear and equitable pathways for career advancement.
Ensure relevant and reciprocal feedback.
How is your employer doing with all of these?
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
“How Will You Measure Your Life?” was written by Clayton M. Chesterton, James Allworth, and Karen Dillon, all of whom were once associated with Harvard Business School or the Harvard Business Review. This book covered how to be successful and happy in your career, how to make your relationships an enduring source of happiness, and how to live a life of integrity. Several examples and insights were provided.
There are hygiene factors and motivators at work. Hygiene factors include status, compensation, job security, work conditions, company policies, and supervisory practices. If you have these, you won’t suddenly love your job; you just won’t hate it. Compensation is a hygiene factor. Motivators include challenging work, recognition, responsibility, personal growth, and meaningful work. These things make you enjoy a job and want to stay.
Many people choose jobs for the $ and then think they’ll later return to their passion but never do, causing resentment of their work. It is hard to dwindle back your lifestyle and transition to a field where you make less $.
Make sure your values and priorities align with how you spend your time, energy, talent, and money. With every decision you make about how you spend your time, energy, talent, and money, you are making a statement about what really matters to you.
High-achievers tend to focus a great deal on becoming the person they want to be at work and far too little on the person they want to be at home.
*If you defer investing your time and energy until you see that you need to, chances are that it will already be too late.
The path to happiness in marriage is about finding someone who you want to make happy – someone whose happiness is worth devoting yourself to.❤️
Thinking about your relationships from the perspective of the job to be done is the best way to understand what’s important to the people who mean the most to you. “What job does my spouse most need me to do?”
Don’t flood your children with your resources and do everything for them. They need to be challenged and solve hard problems and develop themselves.
Outsourcing can lead to losing valuable opportunities to help nurture and develop them. Teach them how to deal with pressure and build resilience and solve problems. Find the right experiences to help them build the skills they’ll need to succeed. Some of the greatest gifts are what your parents didn’t do for you.
When our children are ready to learn, we need to be there. We also need to be found displaying the priorities and values we want our children to learn – through our actions.
You have to build the culture you want in your family. If you do not consciously build it and reinforce it from the earliest stages of your family life, a culture will still form – but it will form in ways you may not like.
Decide what you stand for and stand for it all the time – no “just this once” exceptions.
This book really resonated with me. For several years, I prioritized working multiple jobs and paying off student loan debt/saving money, so I did not have a social life or really any personal hobbies I regularly devoted myself to. Work was essentially my identity. In the past year, I have prioritized daily habits, working less, socializing, and personal hobbies and am much more satisfied. I have been discerning whether to become an attorney, but from the insights I have gathered, the work-life balance is not enticing. Being an attorney has been my goal or plan since college, and now my mindset has shifted to consider work-life balance. Would this career path allow me a work-life balance to have personal hobbies, a social life, and quality time with my husband and future children? That is how I will measure my life.
The type of person you want to become – what the purpose of your life is – is too important to leave to chance. It needs to be deliberately conceived, chosen, and managed.
How will you measure your life?
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:
Optimal Finance Daily- Rental Properties Pros and Cons by Andy Hill (Part 1)
Optimal Finance Daily- Rental Properties Pros and Cons by Andy Hill (Part 2)
Many people aspire to own rental properties to earn more money and often refer to rental properties as passive income. Here are the facts.
Pros:
Real estate can outperform index funds.
You can grow your income stream more quickly.
House hacking- some people are able to rent a room or area of their homes that covers much of their housing costs.
You can work with a property manager so that you don’t need to field late-night calls of issues.
Cons:
*REAL ESTATE INVESTING IS NOT PASSIVE.* You need to dedicate time to ensure you’re doing it right financially, legally, and ethically.
Taxes and insurance costs can be unpredictable.
Neighborhoods can be unpredictable. A changing neighborhood can make it difficult to lease your property and can change the type of tenants who want to live there.
Leverage requires increased risk. You need to really understand how your money is invested and how your properties are generating income.
Home values can drop in tough times. It’s nearly impossible to predict how the real estate market will move.
Self Care IRL- All the reasons we need to stop saying, “I’m sorry for your loss” + 8 Alternatives
“I’m sorry for your loss.” We see this commented on social media and hear this phrase frequently when a loved one dies. Most people don’t know what else to say, and this phrase is so overused that it can come across as insincere. Here are 8 excellent and genuine alternatives to “I’m sorry for your loss.”
3 things you can say IF YOU ARE WILLING TO HELP/FOLLOW THROUGH:
“I’m so sorry that you’re in pain right now, but I am here with you and for you. I am willing to help in any way I can. Is there anything that you can think of that you need right now?” Tip: be prepared to help if asked. Do not use this if you won’t follow through.
“I know there will be some challenges ahead for you. I want you to know that I’m here and I’m willing to help. Would it be okay if I call next week to check in?” Tip: actually call next week and follow through.
“I know there’s nothing I can say right now to make things better, but also, I know that having someone to talk to at times like this is really important, so if it’s okay, I’ll call you next week when things settle for you.” Tip: actually call next week.
5 things you can say that don’t require you to help or follow through:
“Your mom was an incredible person. I see so much of her in you. I’m keeping you in my thoughts.”
“Your friendship/relationship was so special. I’m saddened by the news. You’re in my thoughts.” The podcast host said this is a great remark for someone you mostly know on social media.
“May God continue to shine a light on the joyful memories you get to hold in your heart.”
“Sending big hugs your way and wishing you peace, joy, and comfort.” The podcast host said this is perfect for online empathy.
Adult Education- Health Disparities with Dr. Lisa Cooper
There are people in America who live on the same street who have very different access to healthcare. It is not just about $; it is about access and systems. This can include access to transportation, access to insurance, and access to networks and facilities covered by insurance.
Some neighborhoods where a lot of people of color live do not have access to supermarkets with many fresh fruits and vegetables, schools in these neighborhoods often don’t have the same investment, and oftentimes there are fewer businesses. These are all examples of possible health disparities.
Health disparities are avoidable differences in health among groups that have different levels of wealth, power, or prestige in society. They are unjust and unfair and can impact rural areas, women, people with disabilities, people in poverty, and minorities.
Stuff You Should Know- How Game Shows Work
The first game show was aired in 1938 Great Britain and was called Spelling Bee. It was an actual spelling bee.
If people are winning more $ than budgeted each episode, sometimes they are presented with lotto options, such as payouts over a number of years instead of all at once.
Bob Barker was a game show host from 1956-2007 (1956-1975 for Truth or Consequences + 1972-2007 for the Price is Right).
In 1991, there were 2 game shows still filming: Price is Right and Family Feud. Wheel of Fortune’s daytime show got the axe. Game shows came close to extinction, as they were replaced with daytime talk shows. The Price is Right and Family Feud never went away.
Game shows are cheap to produce, so you can find them in most countries around the world.
3,000 people try out for Wheel of Fortune every year and only 500 make the cut.
Being on a game show sounds exciting, but 5-6 episodes are usually filmed each day, so there is a lot of standing around (without access to your phone)!
Freakonomics Radio- The Most Interesting Fruit in the World
Something to ponder: In a grocery store, there are a wide variety of apples, almost all of which were grown in the United States. Yet, they are more expensive (per pound) than bananas. This is wild to think about considering that bananas in the United States are all imported and have been grown, picked, boxed, washed, and placed in ripening rooms in another country. Bananas are typically the cheapest fruits around!
In 1900, Americans were eating 1.5 million bunches of bananas per year. By 1910, Americans were eating 40 million bunches of bananas per year!
Sailing as an export mode of transportation was not fast enough to reliably keep bananas from over-ripening. In the 1930s, refrigerated trucks allowed for bulk importation of bananas in the United States.
There are over 1,000 varieties of bananas in the world. The first popular one in the United States was the Gros Michel banana, also known as the “Big Mike” banana. This was the most popular banana until the 1950s, when Panama Disease mostly wiped it out. Panama Disease is a fungus that causes the banana plant to wilt. The Gros Michel variety has been virtually extinct since the 1950s, but this variety is still grown in Uganda.
This is a photo of the Gros Michel variety:
Bananas used to have seeds, but the banana was made seed-free using banana hybrids! The Cavendish banana is a human invention.
After Panama Disease wiped out most of the Gros Michel variety, the most popular banana changed to the Cavendish banana, which is what most of us eat today. Although the Cavendish bananas only account for 50% of global banana production, the Cavendish banana takes up 99% of the banana export market. India is the highest producer of bananas. and Ecuador is the largest exporter of bananas.
Bananas were once advertised as “fruit in a germ-proof wrapper.’
Bananas are the fourth most important crop in the world, behind rice, wheat, and corn! 400 million people rely on bananas as a source of food or a source of income.
Earlier this week, I read “Kicked to the Curb: Where policy has failed our most vulnerable youth and the fight for a better tomorrow” written by Susan Lockwood Roberts. I learned so much and here is a summary of my thoughts.
This book was a very insightful, easy read. The author addressed the problems with the education system, especially in educating incarcerated youth using the same cookie-cutter approach used in the standard education system, yet with less funding. Under-performing youth are viewed as difficult and are often kicked to the curb, resulting in societal costs of unemployment, non-productivity in the workforce, and crime. Teachers often teach the way they were taught, and this does not usually work when teaching incarcerated children. Students who are at risk due to family relationships, aspiring to be a first-generation high school graduate, or poverty likely need relationships in order to succeed and may require a more individualized, targeted approach. The author worked in engaging policy problems and changing methodologies in order for children, teachers, and staff to succeed. Some of these programs included daily adult mentoring, work-based learning experiences, career exploration and goal setting, professional development for teachers so that they can shift the way they do things according to the backgrounds of the students, reforming curriculum and acquiring updated textbooks, and developing methods of engaging students using a variety of instructional strategies. The author acknowledges that progress has been made, but that more needs to be done.
When youth don’t finish high school, the path to a high school credential is through adult education, and adult education programs receive less than 10% of funding going to K-12 and less than 5% of what is spent to support higher education. As a result, fewer than 10% of the people who need adult education services can access them. As a society, we can’t figure out how to invest more money in education, but we don’t know about the $225 billion lost every year to low literacy and numeracy among our citizens. What do we value?
This blog post (https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/your-contribution) made me consider 3 questions we should ask ourselves frequently in our jobs and our lives. Say you want to make progress toward a goal, such as starting a daily habit or training for a marathon. Ask yourself these questions and reflect:
Are you content with your contribution (right now)?
Are you content with what you’re contributing (right now)?
What are you contributing (right now)?
TED Talks- Celeste Headlee- 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation
It used to be that in order to have a polite conversation, we just had to stick to the weather and our health. These days, with climate change and anti-vaxxing, those subjects are not always safe either.
A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening. Conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach. An important skill is being able to have a coherent and competent conversation.
Don’t multitask. Be fully present.
Don’t pontificate. Enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn. Sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t.
Use open-ended questions. Start your questions with who, what, where, when, why, or how. This allows people a chance to think about the question and respond with a genuine response.
Go with the flow. Stories and ideas are going to come to you, but sometimes you need to let them go to fully listen to what the other person is saying.
If you don’t know, say that you don’t know. Talk should not be cheap.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs. All experiences are individual, and it is not always about you.
Try not to repeat yourself. It’s boring and condescending.
Stay out of the weeds. You don’t need to remember and present all of the details.
LISTEN. If your mouth is open, you’re not listening and learning. Listen first to understand, then to reply.
Be brief. Conversations should be short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
All of this boils down to one sentence: Be interested in other people. Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and be prepared to be amazed.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
“The Blue Zones” is an interesting New York Times bestseller written by Dan Buettner, a longevity expert who traveled the world to meet the planet’s longest-living people in unique communities called Blue Zones, where common elements of diet, lifestyle, and outlook have led to a great quantity and quality of life.
Sardinia’s Blue Zone lessons (Italy):
Eat a lean, plant-based diet accented with meat. Drink goat’s milk. Drink a glass of red wine daily.
Put family first, celebrate elders, and laugh with friends.
Take a walk.
Okinawa’s longevity lessons (Japan):
Embrace an ikigai (purpose), secure social network, and affable smugness.
Rely on a plant-based diet and eat more soy.
Get gardening, enjoy the sunshine, stay active, and plant a medicinal garden.
Loma Linda’s Blue Zone secrets (California):
Find a sanctuary in time (ex: 24-hour Sabbath).
Maintain a healthy BMI and get regular, moderate exercise.
Spend time with like-minded friends and give something back.
Snack on nuts, eat in moderation, eat an early and light dinner, put more plants in your diet, and drink plenty of water.
Costa Rica’s longevity secrets:
Have a strong sense of purpose, keep a focus on family, maintain social networks, keep hard at work, and embrace a common history.
Drink hard water, eat a light dinner, and get some sensible sun.
Ikaria’s Blue Zone secrets (Greece):
Drink goat’s milk, eat a Mediterranean-style diet, stock up on herbal teas, and fast occasionally.
Mimic mountain living, nap, and make friends and family a priority.
9 lessons overall:
Move naturally and be active without having to think about it. Walk. Garden. Have fun.
Hara Hachi Bu– eat until you are 80% full. Serve yourself at your counter and put food away before eating. Use smaller plates. Eat more slowly, sit, and focus on food, not on work or tv.
Avoid meat and processed foods. Limit meat, increase your bean consumption, eat nuts every day, and showcase fruits and vegetables.
Introduce a glass of wine into a daily routine — high-quality red wine.
Take time to see the big picture and realize your purpose. Craft a personal mission statement. Learn something new.
Take time to relieve stress. Plan to be early, meditate, and minimize time spent with electronics.
Participate in a spiritual community. Be involved.
Make family a priority. Establish rituals. Create a family shrine.
Be surrounded by those who share Blue Zone values. Identify your inner circle, be likable, and create time together.
You can take a test to calculate your life expectancy and how long you’ll stay healthy here:
My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:
Self Improvement Daily- Earn Respect, Not Validation
Our interest to prioritize and maintain strong social connections is fundamental to our success as a species, and in order to appease our ego, we seek validation, approval, and acknowledgement from others as a means to confirm our importance. This may cause us to do things that aren’t in alignment with who we want to be because we need quick access to the validating spike of feeling important.
What we’re actually searching for, that leaves a deeper and lasting impression, is other people’s respect. This goes beyond what you do and into who you are– your character and your values. This is more difficult to earn, and in a society that is addicted to immediate gratification, sometimes people don’t even have the patience to get there.
Ted Talks Daily- 4 ways to make hybrid work better for everyone
I was surprised to learn that, using surveys, polls, and meta-analyses, over 70% of employees in most global surveys want a mix of in-person and remote formats moving forward.
Many employers unexpectedly moved to a remote or hybrid format during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many also haven’t put much thought into a plan. Some employers want employees in the office a certain number of days each week, but don’t care when. Others haven’t set expectations. Others have clear expectations about when employees need to be in the office. Here are 4 ways to make hybrid work better for everyone:
Coordinate anchor days — days you and those you collaborate with are in the office on the same day.
Plan spontaneity. Set aside 6-7 minutes of online meetings to chat informally about something other than work. Consider happy hours, trivia challenges, or lunches or coffee with coworkers.
Match digital tools with communication objectives. Sometimes e-mails, IMs, and phone calls won’t cut it. Use video calls for conversations when needed.
Consistency between hybrid policies and attitudes is the only way to build a hybrid culture for everyone. If you want your employees to come in a certain number of days, assign days or make that expectation clear. If there aren’t any clear expectations and people don’t come in the same number of days, nobody should be made to feel guilty for not coming in as often as others.
Optimal Finance Daily- Budgeting Tips: 10 Ways to Lower Your Life’s Fixed Costs by Joshua Becker
Buy or rent a smaller home. Housing costs generally take up the largest percentage of a person’s expenses.
Avoid car payments.
Double-check recurring expenses and cancel any you no longer need or use.
Research insurance costs. Double-check your premiums and compare other options.
Take your lunch to work.
Pay off your credit card debt. Interest payments are like flushing dollars down the drain. We don’t receive anything for them.
Stop upgrading your phone just because you are eligible.
Cut utility bills at home. Get a programmable thermostat, lower the temperature on your water heater, unplug unused electronics, cut cable, or seal your home better for cold and heat.
Research childcare options in your area. Sometimes new childcare centers are much less expensive than the one your child or children is currently enrolled in.
Ditch the storage unit. If your storage unit is simply storing stuff because you own too much stuff, get rid of it. Stop paying money to keep stuff you don’t need.
The word “prosthetic” is Greek. When translated to English, it means “addition.” A prosthetic is a device that provides support in place of the body part so that people can perform day-to-day functions.
In ancient Rome, there are accounts of warriors who used prosthetics made of iron and wood to make artificial arms and legs.
Thousands of years ago, prosthetics were cosmetic.
During the French Renaissance, prosthetics became functional and included harnesses and knee lock controls, as well as softer materials.
Limb loss can be caused by a disease or cancer that impacted that body part, a car accident, or being born without a body part.
Prosthetics are made according to what body part is missing. How it looks and how it is made is dependent on the person and body part. Generally, measurements are taken and a cast is made. A mold is made to specifications. It is shaped to be comfortable for the patient. Most prosthetics are constructed with lightweight carbon fiber, aluminum, and titanium components.
Nearly 75 percent of amputations are caused by diabetes and cardiovascular complication. The most common type of amputation is a below-knee amputation.
The average prosthetic lasts *only* three to five years!
Most amputees wear a stump shrinker, which is a compression sock that keeps the limb from swelling when the prosthesis is not on their limb. Most amputees wear a silicone gel liner that helps to cushion and protect the limb during walking.
Since ‘best’ isn’t defined, the guarantee is also meaningless.”
Gabe the Bass Player at gabethebassplayer.com
The Economics of Everyday Things- Gas Stations
In the U.S., Americans use 374 million gallons of gas every day!
Gas is cheap in the U.S. relative to other countries. Considering the amount we use, though, every penny counts.
We often blame politicians and oil executives, but the easiest target is the gas station owner. There are 145,000 gas stations in the U.S. 8 out of 10 are independently owned and operated. They pay oil companies for the right to use their branding and gas. Many come from other countries.
50-60% of cost of gas is from the cost of crude oil. $4.00 cost of one gallon of gas= $2 cost of crude, 70 cents to refine it, 40 cents to move it from refinery to gas station, 50 cents for federal/state/local taxes. For a $4.00 gallon of gas it costs about $3.60 to get it to the pump. Gas station owners make about 30-40 cents out of every gallon they sell, which has to cover maintenance, electric bill, rent, liability, etc. In the end, they are averaging 7 cents per gallon of profit.
Gas stations have a daily profit of about $300 after all expenses.
Gas stations regularly face competition with other area gas stations.
Station owners usually buy a few days of gas at a time and store it in underground tanks, but the price of wholesale gas changes every 24 hours. As a station owner, you can lower your prices and lose money or keep a little profit margin and watch your customers go to another station.
When crude prices go up, station owners are slow to pass on the extra cost to us at the pump, but when they fall, they don’t set the prices lower right away either. When gas prices increase, tight margin on gas gets squeezed even further, people buy less gas, and people also buy less inside the store. Higher gas prices also result in more theft.
Gas isn’t a big money maker. The bulk of a gas station owner’s income comes from selling food, where they have an average 33% gross profit inside the store.
Healthier Together- How to Know if You Should Have Kids + Debunking Myths About Parenthood
I don’t have kids (yet), so this was an interesting podcast with different perspectives and insights!
Many people ask “Are you going to have KIDS?” One point the podcast host made is “How will you know whether you want to have KIDS (plural)? Should I have KID? Then you can decide whether you should have KIDS.”
The most surprising point I learned on this podcast is that the ideal age to become a parent is said to be 38 or 39! This provides time to enjoy two adulthoods: 18-38 can be spent traveling, establishing your relationship with your partner, establishing your career, etc. Another adulthood starts when having kids at 38 or 39. This also results in having wisdom, perspective, and better finances, and, if you live long and are healthy, your kids can still care for you when you are old.
Many people have kids earlier due to societal or family pressure or the fear of infertility. If you have concerns about fertility with waiting, check with your doctor about fertility tests and risks. This makes more sense than having kids earlier simply due to this sometimes-unreasonable fear. Some fertility treatments are covered by insurance or are available through grants.
If you are concerned about finances, you can save money through hand-me-downs, secondhand retail, community or church groups, and neighborhood exchanges. You can also do a childcare exchange with friends.
Our society says we value children, but we do not put the $ or attention there. Many employers do not offer paid maternity or paternity leave, resources, or flexibility for childcare, etc.
You may never feel 100% confident in your decision to have kids. That’s okay. 60/40 confident is enough. It isn’t about baby or no baby. If you are postponing or thinking about not having kids, ask yourself if there’s anything you haven’t done yet in life that needs to happen. We will have some disappointments. Ask yourself “What hasn’t happened yet that I want to happen between now and when I die?” It’s about thinking about what is important to you that hasn’t happened yet and how you will fit that in. Be able to name those things and think about, if you actually have extra time and $, are you really going to do those things?
If you are afraid to bring a child into this world, know that people were also worried in the 80s and other decades. There have always been big issues dominating our consciousness and people still chose to have children and have not regretted it. There is always going to be some concern or worldly issue.
There is a lot of stress involved in raising kids, but the major factor is whether the child was planned or an accident and whether the parents had a close, high-quality relationship before having a child. Once kids are grown, parents rave about being parents.
There are many ways of finding life satisfaction and meaning even without having kids. Many parents do say that having kids has brought the most happiness in their lives, but that does not mean that you need to have kids to be happy. Volunteering, hobbies, career fulfillment, being a coach, and many other things can also bring meaning and happiness.
You can get to know your partner better than ever before just by thinking and talking this topic through. It’s not just “yes” or “no.” What are your fears? What do you want your life to look like? How will you share in the responsibilities? What is important to you?
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
“1000+ Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently” was written by Marc Chernoff, co-author of the blog Marc & Angel Hack Life and New York Times bestseller “Getting Back to Happy.” This book was in a listicle format and, although the title is deceiving and inaccurate, I learned so much from this book.
Millions of people live their entire lives on default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Dare to make edits and improvements. Dare to make your personal growth a top priority.
“Don’t ask ‘Why me? Why didn’t I…? What if…?‘ Instead, ask ‘What have I learned from this experience? What do I have control over? What can I do right now to move forward?‘”
Extend generosity and grace. When someone is grouchy, tired, or whatever you don’t desire, add “just like me sometimes.” Ex: “That person was so rude…just like me sometimes.”
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the sacred experience of living every moment with love and gratitude.
“Imagine you had a ripe, juicy tangerine sitting on the table in front of you. You pick it up eagerly, take a bite, and begin to taste it.
You already know how a ripe, juicy tangerine should taste, and so when this one is a bit tarter than expected, you make a face, feel a sense of disappointment, and swallow it, feeling cheated out of the experience you expected.
Or perhaps the tangerine tastes completely normal— nothing special at all. So, you swallow it without even pausing to appreciate its flavor as you move on to the next unworthy bite, and the next.
In the first scenario, the tangerine let you down because it didn’t meet your expectations. In the second, it was too plain because it met your expectations to a T.
Do you see the irony here? Nothing really meets our expectations.”
We need to adopt a mindset free of needless, stifling expectations. The tangerine can be substituted for almost anything in your life: any event, any situation, any relationship, any person, any thought at all that enters your mind. If you approach any of these with expectations of “how it should be” or “how it has to be” in order to be good enough for you, they will almost always disappoint you in some way.
The only person who can make you happy is you. You are also the only person responsible for your success.
Failure is a part of success. Failure becomes success when we learn from it. Focus on how far you have come.
You will never feel 100 percent ready when an opportunity arises. Embrace the opportunity and allow yourself to grow emotionally and intellectually.
View every challenge as an educational assignment: “What is this situation meant to teach me?” Be a student of life every day. Experience it, learn from it, and absorb all the knowledge you can.
When someone upsets you, it’s often because they didn’t behave to your fantasy of how they “should” behave. The frustration stems not from their behavior, but your expectations. You can’t control how others behave or what happens to you, but you can control your response.
Life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some laugh with you, and a few stay to help you clean up the mess. The ones who stay are your real friends in life.
Over the past month, what have your actions been silently saying about your priorities? Are there any changes you want to make?
If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
Do your best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.
Marc Chernoff
30-day challenge ideas to improve your life:
Get rid of one thing a day for 30 days
Wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual
Ditch 3 bad habits
Define one long-term goal and work on it for an hour every day
Watch or read something that inspires you every morning
Cook one new recipe each day
Each day, have a conversation with someone you rarely speak to
Document every day with one photograph and one paragraph
20 questions you should ask yourself every Sunday- linked here:
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