Category: Book review posts

Learn about some of the best books I have read lately.

Book review posts, Uncategorized

The Burnout Epidemic + What Can Be Done

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“The Burnout Epidemic: The Rise of Chronic Stress and How We Can Fix It” by Jennifer Moss was among my top 20 favorite books I read in 2022. Jennifer Moss is an award-winning journalist, author and international public speaker.

Packed with insightful research and data, this book examined what causes burnout and what organizations can do to prevent it, how companies can build an anti-burnout strategy, and how leaders can measure burnout in their own organizations. I will note that this book surprisingly focused more on organizations and leaders instead of the typical self-care ideas.

  • There are 6 causes of burnout:
    • Workload
    • Perceived lack of control
    • Lack of reward or recognition
    • Poor work relationships
    • Lack of fairness
    • Values mismatch

Leaders should ask themselves “How do we create a better, healthier workplace for people so they don’t burn out?” “Empathy drives great leadership. If that tenet is at the root of our decision making, we are more likely to prevent burnout because the pro-social payoffs are plenty.”

Jennifer Moss

MOTIVATION factors include challenging work, recognition for one’s achievements, responsibility, the opportunity to do something meaningful, involvement in decision making, and a sense of importance to the organization.

HYGIENE factors include salary, work conditions, company policy and administration, supervision, working relationships, and status and security.

“Often, employees don’t recognize when an organization has good hygiene, but bad hygiene can cause a major distraction.”

Jennifer Moss

Tips for leaders to help avoid burnout: focus on strengths, increase training, provide resources and support, give everyone a voice to share concerns or ideas, recognize hard work, and check in frequently but don’t micromanage.

Perfectionists (me!): stop trying to control everything, understand the difference between self-knowledge and self-awareness, accept help, and take care of yourselves so that you can take care of others.

In cases of workload burnout, ask yourself: “Is what I’m doing helping or harming me? Do I continue to raise my hand even though I know I should focus on accomplishing my current workload? Do I communicate to others when I feel like it’s too much? Do I delegate well? Have I identified what gives me energy and what drains me? Do I manage my distractions? Do I have outside interests or do I give my life to work? Do I have a close friend at work I can lean on for support?”

Working from home at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic was tough. I was suddenly working and quarantining in my small one-bedroom apartment at the time, and it was hard to separate work life from my home life since I was always home. The couch I sat on to read or watch tv was the same seat I sat on to work all day. As client demands increased, and training a colleague from home was not an option, my workload continued to pile up. There were many times I worked all day, took a break for supper, and then worked at night to keep up with the new demands. Without a social life or many hobbies, and with businesses closed, my work was my life. Some days I felt like I didn’t do anything exciting or anything for MYSELF; when I reflected on my day, all I could think about was work. My perception of my day was solely focused on my reflection of work that day.

I knew I needed a change, so eventually, I started focusing on daily habits or doing something for myself each day. I started with reading every day, later added listening to a podcast each day, and eventually added exercising each day. With businesses closed, I started walking on a walking path near my apartment to exercise each day, and on the walking path, I made a nearby friend who happened to work at the same company as I did! We were able to meet and go on walks for 3-5 miles most evenings. Getting out in nature while socializing quickly became the best part of my days and the best form of stress relief.

In 2022, I had focused extensively on forming daily habits. It was a life-changing year, and it helped me to cultivate passions outside of work. Sure, work was very stressful at times, but I took pride in looking back on my days knowing that I had done several things for ME. Through some career changes, I am also grateful to have found an organization that is invested in preventing employee burnout.

Some things are out of your control, but YOU can and should take action on the things that ARE in your control to prevent burnout.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

Embrace Your Almost + You Are On Time for Your Own Life

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“Embrace Your Almost” written by Jordan Lee Dooley was one of my top 20 books of 2022.  Jordan is the host of the SHE podcast and owner of SoulScripts, a words company known for its phrase “Your brokenness is welcome here.” Using examples such as growing a garden, pregnancy loss, closing a business, moving, and a change in career, this book contained helpful perspectives about the almost-but-not-quite experiences we face.

“Every struggle and setback along the way made me the woman I am today. Without almost-but-not-quite experiences, I might never have slowed down, reconsidered what matters to me, developed deeper empathy, and refocused on my priorities.”

Jordan Lee Dooley

Years ago, I was in an extensive hiring process for over seven months for a career I was very excited about. I spent seven months envisioning this new life moving across the country, working long hours, and being in an honorable position. The role didn’t come to fruition, and I was heartbroken and frustrated. After having read and learned more about it, I frequently reflect about my experience and am grateful that it didn’t work out. The setback allowed me to slow down, reconsider my priorities, and prioritize what is best for me and my family. I now have a job I have wanted for years, a great work-life balance, and was able to stay in Minnesota with my husband and family.

Sometimes when we find ourselves stuck between where we started and where we want to be, we focus so much on the life we WANT to have that we fail to appreciate the one we DO have. We can be successful and create beautiful lives EVEN when a specific goal or dream takes longer to achieve or doesn’t work out exactly how we planned. We just have to look at success differently.

Life is more like a garden to tend than a game to win. One of my favorite quotes is “Bloom where you are planted.” In the face of disappointment, ask yourself: “What do I truly want? Why do I want it? How am I going to steward it?” If you’re letting go of a dream, identify what matters most and why, evaluate and seek counsel, and make a plan for the open space on your plate. Are there things you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for?

Maybe the secret to contentment isn’t found when we get something we want easily and on the first try. Instead, maybe contentment grows in all the hard moments that break us down along the way.

Jordan Lee Dooley

Unexpected gains come out of difficult experiences:

  1. empathy
  2. patience
  3. clarity (pause and reconsider what matters)
  4. discernment (what’s worth your time/which options align with your values/who you’re willing to trust or listen to)
  5. intentionality

Do you ever believe the lie that when you get “here” or “there,” you’ll finally be successful – only to realize you’re chasing a moving target? Do you ever have a hard time discerning which dreams are truly yours, which just sound fun, and which are the result of pressure that society or someone else has put on you? We often only get clarity through adversity. Sometimes what looks like a setback can actually be a setup.

It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. We see people are “ahead” of us in terms of marriage, children, home ownership, careers, finances, health, etc. The author discussed with her friends and found “just as I felt behind in one area of life, women all around me felt behind in another area.” This is eye-opening. Plus, the sense of having it all and having it all together can shatter in the blink of an eye.

The comparison trap reminded me of a podcast episode I recently listened to, Your Mind Matters. The episode was titled “You are on time for your own life.”

“Just because your life doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean that you are falling behind, doesn’t mean that you aren’t accomplishing enough, doesn’t mean that you are doomed, doesn’t mean that you are setting yourself up for failure. It just means that someone else’s journey doesn’t look like yours and that’s okay.”

“Your Mind Matters podcast”

How boring would it be if your life looked exactly like everyone else’s? How boring would it be if you got exactly what you wanted when you wanted it? You would get bored so quickly! You are on time for your own life. Someone else’s life timeline and accomplishments have nothing to do with you.

This resonates with me. Growing up, I had determined timelines in mind for when I would get married, when I would have an established long-term career, when I would have kids, etc. I didn’t meet any of those timelines and fell into the comparison trap because others I grew up with or graduated with had accomplished those things. I felt behind in life. After reflecting, I am grateful for the timing I have experienced. I had different priorities than my preset timelines and experienced exponential learning and personal growth along the way.

This was an eye-opening Christian book that caused me to reflect on some of my almost-but-not-quite experiences and how they shaped who I am and brought clarity to my life and priorities.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

Brilliant Insights From “Tribe of Mentors” by Timothy Ferriss + My Mentor

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One of my favorite books from 2022 was Tribe of Mentors by Timothy Ferriss. Tim tracked down more than 100 experts to navigate life and included nearly 600 pages of their recommendations. I have always tried to take away at least one thing from one person (the author) with each book I’ve read, so having over 100 people offer input in this book was amazing!

One piece of advice that SO many mentors gave that changed their lives was to learn how to say NO without guilt, pressure, or obligation. This is relevant to work, social outings, opportunities, and every other aspect of life.

This is a lesson that so many people could find useful. In the past, I had often felt overwhelmed with obligations, and now I am more careful with how I spend my time and energy and whom I spend my time with.

“Busy is a decision. You don’t find the time to do something. You make the time to do things.”

Debbie Millman

This was a lesson increasingly evident with the COVID-19 pandemic. Finding ourselves with extra time due to the lack of social events, commute, and, for some, their jobs, did not always result in doing the things we had been procrastinating on that we had always said we would do “if we had more time.” I think COVID-19 really taught us what our priorities are with our time.

from Debbie Millman- Career questions to ask yourself: Am I spending enough time on looking for, finding, and working toward a great job? Am I constantly refining and improving my skills? What can I continue to get better and more competitive at? Do I believe that I am working harder than everyone else? If not, what else can I be doing? What are the people who are competing with me doing that I’m not doing?

from Arianna Huffington- “Burnout is not the price you have to pay for success.” When we prioritize our well-being, our performance goes up across the board.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, ask yourself these questions: Sleep? Exercise? Healthy food? Am I resentful because I’m not setting or holding a boundary?

Brene Brown

from Leo Babauta- “Don’t try to find your passion… if you continue to optimize your mastery, you’ll eventually arrive at your passion.” “Make yourself proud.” We spend too much time trying to please everyone and we forget that it’s all already within.

from Jerome Jarre- “Promoting unethical or unhealthy companies for $ is not success. It’s corruption of your belief system and legacy.” He turned down a $1 million Snapchat series contract to promote Sour Patch Kids!

This is admirable. It bothers me when I see influencers promote items that they likely don’t personally use. Going against your belief system and promoting products you don’t use but are paid to promote is not influencing; it is dishonest and inauthentic.

“Don’t let the weight of fear weigh down the joy of curiosity.”

Jerome Jarre

from Mark Bell- “Either you’re in, or you’re in the way.” Often, we chase after people who aren’t “in” and don’t fit into our lives or business. We waste time with these people when our focus should be on the people who are in.”

“Think of your time like a jar, your priorities as rocks, and everything else as pebbles or sand.” Are you going to fill it with your rocks or let others fill it with theirs? Schedule specific blocks of time in advance for your rocks. Learn to say no. You don’t owe anyone lengthy explanations.

David Houston

from Scott Belsky- “I am always surprised by how lazy people are when making serious decisions about their careers. Join a team not for what it is, but for what you think you can help it become. You must seize the opportunities when they present themselves, not when they are convenient or obvious. The only way to cultivate your own luck is to be more flexible (you’ll need to give up something for the right opportunity), humble (timing is out of your control), and gracious (when you see it, seize it!). Life’s greatest opportunities run on their schedule, not yours.”

This really resonated with me. We often wait for the “perfect” time to make a change: the perfect time to change jobs, the perfect time to have kids, the perfect time to start a hobby or start working out… The perfect time will never arrive. We need to make sacrifices and take opportunities as they come.

from Dr. Gabor Mate- “Just say no” is the least helpful advice one can say to a person caught up in any addiction. If you want to help people, ask why they are in so much pain that they are driven to escape it through ultimately self-harming habits or substances. Then support them in healing the trauma, a process that starts with non-judgmental curiosity and compassion.”

I highly recommend this book! The best outcome is that everyone will find different things that speak to them!

One of my mentors is my former college professor/advisor/work study supervisor, Dr. DeWitt. He helped guide me through many challenges of college and helped me in my career discernment process. He really shaped who I am today.

Wit from Dr. DeWitt: Dr. DeWitt ended every class with “Any questions, concerns, or editorial comments?”

Although many of us found this ending to be solely entertaining, I also found it to be a sign of a great leader. With this ending, he showed that he was open to questions, he was open to feedback, and he was open to learning or being corrected with editorial comments. We should all strive to be open to questions, feedback, learning, and being corrected, and this remark has resonated with me since I first heard it.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Book review posts, Uncategorized

All About Atomic Habits + My Habits Journey

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Year after year, I set lofty new year’s resolutions, such as going to the gym 6 times each week, even if I hadn’t been going regularly prior to January. I was often feeling disappointed and ashamed by March. In 2022, I decided to focus on forming daily habits and use a habit tracker (I used the habit tracker found in the Silk&Sonder monthly planners).

Each month, I tracked habits, reflected on which habits were no longer serving me, and sometimes added more habits to strive for. By the end of the year, I was focusing on several daily habits: taking my temperature at 5 a.m. every day for future fertility tracking purposes, reading 22+ minutes each day, listening to a podcast each day, playing brain cognition games on the Lumosity and Elevate apps each day, doing a 10-minute ab workout + 10 pushups each day, 22+ minutes walking/running each day, doing dishes before bed each day, writing in my One Line A Day journal each day, and completing my Silk&Sonder daily affirmation/writing prompt.

Honestly, it was a life-changing year, and although I wasn’t perfect every single month, I managed to complete some habits every single day of 2022: reading 22+ minutes each day, walking/running 22+ minutes each day, listening to a podcast each day, Silk&Sonder daily affirmations, doing dishes before bed each day, and writing in my One Line A Day journal each day. Here is a sample of my habit tracker:

I surprisingly didn’t read Atomic Habits by James Clear until November, and it was very educational and helpful! James Clear is an author and speaker focused on habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement. His website (www.jamesclear.com) receives millions of visitors each month, hundreds of thousands subscribe to his newsletter, and he speaks at Fortune 500 companies and is the creator of The Habits Academy.

Your habits can compound for or against you. Productivity compounds. Stress compounds. Knowledge compounds. Negative thoughts compound. Relationships compound. Outrage compounds.

Ultimately, it is your commitment to the PROCESS that will determine your PROGRESS. The process of building a habit can be divided into simple steps: cue, craving, response, and reward. The 4 laws of behavior change are: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. One effective way to build a habit is to try habit stacking: after I (current habit), I will (new habit) OR get two things done at once.

Ex: listen to a podcast while driving/cooking/getting ready for the day/cleaning/working out.

Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on WHAT they want to achieve, which leads to outcome-based habits. The alternative is to build identity-based habits, which focus on WHO we wish to become.

Ex: The goal is not to read a book; it is to become a reader. The goal is not to run a marathon; it is to become a runner.

Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity. What you do is an indication of the type of person you believe that you are – either consciously or unconsciously. You have the power to change your beliefs about yourself and change the identity you want to reinforce today with the habits you choose today. You become your habits.

Consider this: “Does the behavior help me become the type of person I wish to be? Does this habit cast a vote for or against my identity?”

The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom. We get bored with habits because they stop delighting us. There will be days when you feel like quitting. Professionals stick to the schedule. Amateurs let life get in the way. Professionals know what is important to them and work toward it with purpose. Amateurs get pulled off course by the urgencies of life.

I have found habit tracking to be useful. It creates a visual cue that reminds me to act, it is motivating to see my progress, and I don’t want to break the streak. There were many days in 2022 that I didn’t feel like walking, reading, etc., but I knew that I had a perfect streak with those habits and did not want to ruin it.

I also periodically check in to see if my habits are still serving me and consider which habits to add. For example, one month, my goal was to get 10,000 steps each day. I achieved that goal, but after reflecting, I felt that I was so focused on achieving a random number and did not dedicate as much time or energy to other areas of my life, so I decided that habit was no longer serving me. Life is constantly changing, so you need to periodically check in to see if your old habits and beliefs are still serving you.

Your actions reveal how badly you want something. Actions establish priorities. Reward is on the other side of sacrifice. The secret to getting results is to never stop making improvements.

***If you want to learn more and are an auditory learner, I highly recommend the following podcast episodes:

How to Improve Your Life with Atomic Habits with James Clear (Part 1)
How to Improve Your Life with Atomic Habits with James Clear (Part 2)

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!