One of my favorite books from 2022 was Tribe of Mentors by Timothy Ferriss. Tim tracked down more than 100 experts to navigate life and included nearly 600 pages of their recommendations. I have always tried to take away at least one thing from one person (the author) with each book I’ve read, so having over 100 people offer input in this book was amazing!
One piece of advice that SO many mentors gave that changed their lives was to learn how to say NO without guilt, pressure, or obligation. This is relevant to work, social outings, opportunities, and every other aspect of life.
This is a lesson that so many people could find useful. In the past, I had often felt overwhelmed with obligations, and now I am more careful with how I spend my time and energy and whom I spend my time with.
“Busy is a decision. You don’t find the time to do something. You make the time to do things.”
Debbie Millman
This was a lesson increasingly evident with the COVID-19 pandemic. Finding ourselves with extra time due to the lack of social events, commute, and, for some, their jobs, did not always result in doing the things we had been procrastinating on that we had always said we would do “if we had more time.” I think COVID-19 really taught us what our priorities are with our time.
from Debbie Millman- Career questions to ask yourself: Am I spending enough time on looking for, finding, and working toward a great job? Am I constantly refining and improving my skills? What can I continue to get better and more competitive at? Do I believe that I am working harder than everyone else? If not, what else can I be doing? What are the people who are competing with me doing that I’m not doing?
from Arianna Huffington- “Burnout is not the price you have to pay for success.” When we prioritize our well-being, our performance goes up across the board.
When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, ask yourself these questions: Sleep? Exercise? Healthy food? Am I resentful because I’m not setting or holding a boundary?
Brene Brown
from Leo Babauta- “Don’t try to find your passion… if you continue to optimize your mastery, you’ll eventually arrive at your passion.” “Make yourself proud.” We spend too much time trying to please everyone and we forget that it’s all already within.
from Jerome Jarre- “Promoting unethical or unhealthy companies for $ is not success. It’s corruption of your belief system and legacy.” He turned down a $1 million Snapchat series contract to promote Sour Patch Kids!
This is admirable. It bothers me when I see influencers promote items that they likely don’t personally use. Going against your belief system and promoting products you don’t use but are paid to promote is not influencing; it is dishonest and inauthentic.
“Don’t let the weight of fear weigh down the joy of curiosity.”
Jerome Jarre
from Mark Bell- “Either you’re in, or you’re in the way.” Often, we chase after people who aren’t “in” and don’t fit into our lives or business. We waste time with these people when our focus should be on the people who are in.”
“Think of your time like a jar, your priorities as rocks, and everything else as pebbles or sand.” Are you going to fill it with your rocks or let others fill it with theirs? Schedule specific blocks of time in advance for your rocks. Learn to say no. You don’t owe anyone lengthy explanations.
David Houston
from Scott Belsky- “I am always surprised by how lazy people are when making serious decisions about their careers. Join a team not for what it is, but for what you think you can help it become. You must seize the opportunities when they present themselves, not when they are convenient or obvious. The only way to cultivate your own luck is to be more flexible (you’ll need to give up something for the right opportunity), humble (timing is out of your control), and gracious (when you see it, seize it!). Life’s greatest opportunities run on their schedule, not yours.”
This really resonated with me. We often wait for the “perfect” time to make a change: the perfect time to change jobs, the perfect time to have kids, the perfect time to start a hobby or start working out… The perfect time will never arrive. We need to make sacrifices and take opportunities as they come.
from Dr. Gabor Mate- “Just say no” is the least helpful advice one can say to a person caught up in any addiction. If you want to help people, ask why they are in so much pain that they are driven to escape it through ultimately self-harming habits or substances. Then support them in healing the trauma, a process that starts with non-judgmental curiosity and compassion.”
I highly recommend this book! The best outcome is that everyone will find different things that speak to them!
One of my mentors is my former college professor/advisor/work study supervisor, Dr. DeWitt. He helped guide me through many challenges of college and helped me in my career discernment process. He really shaped who I am today.
Wit from Dr. DeWitt: Dr. DeWitt ended every class with “Any questions, concerns, or editorial comments?”
Although many of us found this ending to be solely entertaining, I also found it to be a sign of a great leader. With this ending, he showed that he was open to questions, he was open to feedback, and he was open to learning or being corrected with editorial comments. We should all strive to be open to questions, feedback, learning, and being corrected, and this remark has resonated with me since I first heard it.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
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