My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Last week I skipped Thoughtful Thursday and decided to post a Thankful Thursday post on my social media in honor of Thanksgiving, so here are some of the things I’ve learned in the past two weeks:

• Remember you’re allowed to say “no.” You don’t need to go to every party or event. Say “no” ahead of time if you know you don’t want to go. Prioritize those that matter to you the most.
• Take your paid time off. When you don’t take time off, you don’t take time to refuel.
• Add some healthy meals and healthy habits between holiday events. We tend to stray from our normal eating patterns during holiday events.

• Prepare yourself to know that some people and conversations will be triggering. Don’t waste your energy trying to convince them otherwise. Expect that it will happen so that you aren’t caught off guard. Expecting triggers is better than hoping they won’t happen.
• Stop doing things just because someone else wants you to do them. The holidays are a time for you, and you should take time to do some of the things YOU want to do.
• Make a budget for gifts!
• Make sure you’re clear with people about what you want for gifts. As we get older, it becomes harder and harder for people to read our minds about what we want.

• Plan ahead. Look at your calendar and make sure you aren’t going to be overwhelmed. Make sure you can be fully present at the gatherings you attend.
• Make time to reflect this year. What do you want to add next year to make it better? What do you want to subtract next year to make it better?
• Don’t abandon your self-care practices. The holiday season is often when we need self-care most to deal with the stress.

1. Design your holiday season. What kind of holiday season do you want this year? Figure out what your ideal holiday season would look like and how you are going to make this year ideal. Once you decide what you want the holidays to look like, you can decide whether to accept a holiday invitation or host a party.
2. Use the last year test to determine how important something is. Ask yourself, “what did I buy that person last year?” If you have no idea, it probably doesn’t matter.
3. Set time limits on certain activities. Ex: shopping for a gift, decorating, how much time you spend at a party.
4. Create a list of what not to do. Ex: don’t go over your budget, don’t keep holiday cookies in the house, don’t say yes to invitations you don’t want to accept, etc. You can make your own list.
5. Practice acceptance. You don’t have to force yourself to feel happy this time of the year. Keep going anyway without forcing happiness on yourself. You can also practice acceptance when it comes to dealing with others during the holidays (ex: political comments during the holidays).

• Max out your 401k or make sure you are maximizing your employer match. I know for many people, including me, contributing the maximum $22,500 is not feasible.  Note that some employers allow you to contribute a dollar amount or a % of each paycheck, and some only let you contribute a dollar amount.
• If you max out your 401k early, you are losing out on your employer’s match for the rest of the year.
• Max out your Roth IRA contribution if you would like to ($6,500 for 2023).

• Max out your HSA if you are eligible for one.
• Make sure you use your FSA if you aren’t allowed to roll over any amount into the next year. Spend the money this year.
• Choose your medical plan for the next year. If you’re married, decide which plan to go on (your own or your partner’s).
•  Schedule any doctor’s appointments that are still covered before the end of the year (physical, OBGYN appointment, dental visit, etc.)
• Optimize around your deductible. If you’ve met your deductible and you need a colonoscopy or procedure, try to get it done this year.

• Review your credit card rewards and ensure they don’t expire at the end of the year.
• If you want to reduce your taxable income in 2023, look into charitable contributions.
• Review your PTO balances and make sure you aren’t losing any that can’t be rolled over into the next year. Plan some of your days off for 2024.
• Prep for your taxes.
• Check your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.
• Review your expenses and set a budget for 2024.

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/if-you-work-hard

I loved this post from Gabe the Bass Player. This is his post:

“If You Work Hard…

November 24, 2023

…you will become better.

It doesn’t mean you’ll become great, or get paid, or get famous, or get to quit your day job, or win the comparison challenge, or break new ground, or get the credit, or get noticed, or be respected in the field.

It might. It could. I hope it does. Hard work might turn into all of those things for you.

But if you keep working hard you will get better. The increments might be big or small and the word ‘better’ might evolve in its definition over time…but better is where you’re heading if you’re willing to work.“

The perfect conditions

I loved this post from Seth’s Blog about how the perfect conditions will never happen; we need to take action anyway.

The perfect conditions

Somewhere, there is the ideal soil for growing mangoes. Or the best possible wave for surfing. Or the most romantic sunset for a proposal.

But it’s not right here and it’s not right now.

Our success has a lot to do with how we dance with conditions that aren’t quite perfect.

After twenty years of symptoms and pain, I recently had surgery and was diagnosed with endometriosis. I have been trying to educate myself about it since my diagnosis. This podcast and book were very educational!

• Resources: Below the Belt documentary about endometriosis + Beating Endo book
• The notes I am choosing to share are from both the podcast link and the Beating Endo book.

• Symptoms: Endo can affect every organ system. Many are incorrectly diagnosed with IBS due to having constipation and/or diarrhea, bloating, and painful bowel movements. You can have painful periods, pelvic pain, penetration pain/painful sex, urinary frequency, UTIs, fatigue, exhaustion, and infertility. Everyone has different symptoms.
• Endometriosis is an inflammatory disorder that impacts every part of the body. It causes gut issues, and those with endo have higher likelihood of autoimmune diseases.
• Endometriosis is not just in the uterus. Endometriosis is external or outside of the uterus. Endo is not found in the uterus. Endometriosis is when we have endometrial-like cells outside of the uterus, and there’s no exit point for them.

• Endometriosis can’t be seen on imaging unless there are cysts. True diagnosis is a surgical diagnosis. A positive diagnosis is possible only via analysis of excised tissue. Most doctors are doing the wrong surgery (ablation/burning of endometriosis). Excision (removing the endometriosis) is the recommended surgery.
• 9% of female fetuses have endometriosis!
• If the mom, grandma, aunt, or sibling has endometriosis, that daughter/granddaughter/niece/sibling is 7-10x more likely to have endometriosis.

• It’s never too late to reclaim your life. Many people are diagnosed in their 30s and 40s. You can’t cure endometriosis, but you can take steps to manage symptoms.
• Any relief from symptoms does not achieve the eradication of your endometriosis. The disease may still progress even when you are treating its symptoms. The only treatment is to cut the endometriosis out of you, and it can grow back.
• Treatment to manage symptoms (does not cure endometriosis): pelvic floor physical therapy, working on anxiety/stress reduction, and integrative nutrition (anti-inflammatory diet and identifying triggering foods). Endometriosis is inflammatory in nature, so we need to take steps to combat inflammation. The authors emphasized that pro-inflammatory categories of food should be eliminated: gluten, dairy, soy, sugar, and artificial sweeteners.

• 2 surgery options
  • Ablation – applying heat to endometriosis. This is surface level! It shrivels the inflammation, but it’s still there. This is the most common surgical method, but the least helpful.
  • Excision – physically cutting out and removing the endometriosis.
• Some endometriosis specialists have done an extra fellowship in endometriosis. Make sure your diagnosis is done correctly and the specialist you’re seeing is actually trained in endometriosis. Make sure more than one biopsy is taken.

The Beating Endo book contained so much educational information and many resources!

So many of us choose to postpone our happiness until another day. We tell ourselves:

• I’ll be happy when… I get a promotion or earn more money.
• I’ll be happen when… I get married.
• I’ll be happy when… I go on vacation.

If you’re not finding ways to be happy right now with what you have, you’re not going to feel all that different when your circumstances change.

So instead of being “happy when”, what can you do to start being “happy now”? How can you set an intention, adjust your attitude, or otherwise change your mindset?

Tony Robbins says “happiness is progress”. If we have something that we’re improving at, it gives us something to be excited about, something to look forward to, and something to find purpose in.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!