“Read This Before Our Next Meeting” was written by Al Pittampalli, the founder of the Modern Meeting Company, which has helped organizations hold more effective meetings. This book was direct and to the point.
In a world with fewer meetings, we’d have more time for our real work, the work we do that actually propels our organizations forward.
The modern meeting:
doesn’t make decisions. Leaders do. Consult others via e-mail or one-on-one and make a preliminary decision.
has two primary functions: conflict and coordination
moves fast and ends on schedule. Strong deadlines force parties to resolve the hard decisions necessary for progress.
limits the number of attendees.
rejects the unprepared. Prepare an agenda.
produces committed action plans. No minutes are required; you only need to know the decision and resulting action plan.
refuses to be informational. Reading memos is mandatory.
works only alongside a culture of brainstorming
The modern meeting is for finalizing your preliminary decision, generating buy-in, and agreeing on next steps. In advance of the meeting, inform attendees of the decision you plan to make as well as the reasoning behind that decision.
During the meeting, allow attendees to ask questions, voice concerns, and propose modifications. If all goes well, a consensus is achieved, a decision is resolved, and an action plan is coordinated.
Invite only the people who are absolutely necessary for resolving the decision that has been presented. If you have no strong opinion, have no interest in the outcome, and are not instrumental for any coordination that needs to take place, you don’t need to attend.
Prepare an agenda. Every meeting should require pre-meeting work. The modern meeting is about conflict and coordination, two activities that hinge upon preparation.
8 principles of the modern meeting:
Only after you’ve reached a preliminary decision can you call a meeting.
Get everyone on the same page and create an action plan.
Enforce firm meeting end times. The meeting ends, a decision is resolved, and participants get back to work. Start on time.
Only people who are critical to the outcome are invited to the modern meeting. Small numbers allow decisions to be resolved quickly and plans to be coordinated smoothly.
The modern meeting rejects the unprepared. An agenda is distributed well in advance and establishes the decision being debated or the action being coordinated. You must carefully think through different scenarios and come up with thoughtful responses.
The modern meeting produces committed action plans. What actions are we committing to? Who is responsible for each action? When will those actions be completed? It’s the meeting leader’s responsibility to follow up and hold participants accountable for their commitments.
If no action plan is necessary, neither is a meeting!
Informational meetings aren’t necessary. Managers must write memos instead. Everyone must commit to reading them.
The modern meeting is about decision and the narrowing of options. Brainstorming is necessary.
Amazon and Google are both notable in their meeting practices and share many elements of the modern meeting.
This was an interesting book. I agree with some of it, as I have had to attend several meetings just so that management or clients could “check a box” from their weekly to-do list that a meeting was held. This is not effective. However, in my current role, we occasionally have virtual video meetings so that we can get to know and see others we don’t see in person. I enjoy having time set aside for that.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
I read six books in December, some of which were short and easy reads. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in December.
“The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks About Race” was edited by Jasmyn Ward, an author and associate professor of Creative Writing at Tulane University who has won several writing awards. This book demonstrated the power in words – the power in asserting our existence, experience, and lives through words. This book was selected as a book club read for my employer. Here are some quotes that stood out to me:
[During an internship at a magazine that was more than 150 years old] “Sometime during the end of my first week, a chatty senior editor approached me in the corridor. During the course of our conversation, I was informed that I was almost certainly the first black person to ever intern at the magazine and there had never been any black editors. On good days, being the first black intern meant having my work done quickly and sounding extra witty around the water cooler; it meant I was chipping away at the glass ceiling that seemed to top most of the literary world. But on bad days I gagged on my resentment and furiously wondered why I was selected. I became paranoid that I was merely a product of affirmative action, even though I knew I wasn’t.”
“I accepted the reality that the historic colonial houses – now the business residences of attorneys, hairstylists, insurance agents, and doctors – were considered by more people to be more valuable than the bodies below them.”
“Empathy requires us to dig way down into the murk, deeper than our own feelings go, to a place where the boundaries between our experience and everyone else’s no longer exist.“
Rules of walking – “no running, especially at night; no sudden movements; no hoodies; no objects – especially shiny ones – in hand; no waiting for friends on street corners or standing near a corner on the cellphone lest I be mistaken for a drug dealer“
This book provided thought-provoking perspectives of race and minorities.
4 out of 5 stars
“Employment Law: A Very Short Introduction” was written by David Cabrelli, the professor of Labour Law at the University of Edinburgh and the author of 5 books. This book contained a decent overview of employment law, and I learned about other countries; however, I learned much more in my Employment Law class this semester. Here are some main points:
Employment contract = employment relationship and rights. No employment contract = no employment relationship and rights. The various roles governing the constitution, classification, variation, contact, performance, suspension, and termination of the employment relationship are all derived from contract law.
There is a rise of atypical workers in the labor markets of advanced Western economies, such as the U.S. These independent contractors work very flexibly and as and when they want and often suffer from low pay, little or no job protection or security of earnings, and are subject to the control of those hiring their labor.
British legislation enacted in 1971 protects employees from unfair dismissals. The USA remains an exception to most countries. The USA has an employment-at-will doctrine, which safeguards the liberty of the employee to resign and find another job without liability and allows the employer to discharge the employee without sanction.
One thing that stood out to me, that I hadn’t considered previously, is the quote that “Employers operating at below a living wage are free riding on the back of the public purse.”
This book was a very general overview of employment law, but other books cover much more information.
3 out of 5 stars
“Learning to Disagree: The Surprising Path to Navigating Differences with Empathy and Respect” was an insightful book written by John D. Inazu, a Distinguished Professor of Law and Religion at Washington University in St. Louis. Multiple studies have shown that Americans have a growing disdain for those who differ from them politically and ideologically. We deride our political, religious, and ideological opponents as dangerous or evil and retreat to digital foxholes. This book is a necessary read for many people and a reminder to treat people as humans. Here are some main takeaways:
Good lawyering requires empathy for adversaries. You don’t have to like the other side, but you do have to understand them. How are you going to persuade a judge that you have the better story? The better you understand the other side of an argument, the better you can critique it and the more strongly you can defend your own position.
Assume the best of someone to open the door to deeper understanding and an opportunity to learn from those who see the world differently. Distinguish people from the ideas they hold. Other people are humans with whom you share many things in common. That doesn’t mean you will always share – or even respect – their ideas.
Recognize the limits to your knowledge and understanding. Embrace the likelihood that you won’t be able to convince everyone who thinks differently that you are right and they are wrong.
Well-intentioned people can have differing beliefs without being evil. In a country as large and diverse as the United States, every one of us holds beliefs and opinions that other people think are beyond the pale.
Practice repentance, grace, and forgiveness.
I highly recommend this book and will post a more detailed book blog about it sometime.
5 out of 5 stars
“About Time” is a book of poems by Neil Hilborn, a best-selling author and the most-watched poet ever (with over 150 million views). Neil has performed in 41 states and 8 countries. Neil is one of my favorite poets and is incredibly talented; with that said, I did not enjoy this book as much as his prior books. Here are some quotes that stood out to me:
“Ask the thoughts what they want: Why am I going to kill myself and if I do, go all the way to the logical end: Who will it hurt, what gets left behind, what good remains undone; dissect the bells, separate the ringing into a flat expanse and not the towering blaze telling you it is . . . “
“The Prozac makes me less tired but I’m still pretty tired but maybe that’s cause depression makes you tired.”
“I know why, but why is it that the pills will keep me alive but they give me enough to kill myself?“
To quote my favorite TV personality slash parasocial therapist slash mommy? Doctor Robin Zasio of Hoarders fame: You’ve got to feel it to heal it. As it relates to hoarding, I think she means that if you never throw out things you accumulate then you don’t have to deal with the emotional context around those things.
Many of the poems were somewhat depressing, but this poem provided humor.
4 out of 5 stars
“The Little Book of Sleep: The Art of Natural Sleep” was written by Nerina Ramlakhan, a professional physiologist and sleep therapist for 25 years who runs sleep and wellness programs at Nightingale Hospital in London. This book was a quick, easy read. One description reads: “Drawing on Western science and Eastern practices, this beautifully illustrated guide to sleep teaches that, by making better choices in our waking hours, we can positively influence our sleep.” Here are some tips from the book.
Sattvic describes the type of sleep we should be getting – pure, deep, natural, and healing. This is the kind of sleep where you wake up feeling refreshed, filled with vitality, and looking forward to the day ahead.
The journey back to deep sleep is about working on yourself to create an inner core of safety and making lifestyle choices that will help your nervous system to recalibrate and shift back into safety mode if you’ve been running on survival mode.
Tips:
Eat within 30 minutes of waking.
Reduce your caffeine intake to less than 300 mg per day. The half-life of caffeine is 5 hours. Avoid any caffeine until you’ve eaten.
Drink plenty of water.
Take breaks from technology. Withdraw from technology an hour before you get into bed. Don’t keep your phone in your bedroom or watch TV in bed.
Create a sanctuary in your bedroom. Think soft, relaxing colors, essential oils, and cool and well-ventilated.
Try breath awareness exercises.
Increase your oxytocin levels by expressing your feelings, getting a massage, hugging someone, stroking your pet, and engaging in activities that make you feel at your best, happy, and carefree.
4 out of 5 stars
“The One Minute Manager” was cowritten by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. Ken Blanchard is a prominent, gregarious, sought-after author, speaker, and business consultant. Spencer Johnson, M.D. is the author or coauthor of numerous New York Times bestselling books. This book was an insightful and easy read, although it could have been more concise. Here are the main habits of a one minute manager:
One Minute Goal Setting – set goals with their people to make sure they know what they are being held accountable for and what good performance looks like
One Minute Praising – try to catch their people doing something right so that they can give them a One Minute Praising
One Minute Reprimand – reprimand people immediately and tell people specifically what they did wrong then remind them how much you value them and reaffirm that that you think well of them but not of their performance in this situation.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:
NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast – The Price of Parenthood: What It Costs to Be a Parent
115,000 children were adopted in the United States in 2019. The number of adoptions dropped in 2020 to just over 95,000.
391,000 children are currently in foster care in the United States waiting for homes.
Paths to parenthood include:
traditional parenthood
surrogacy
foster care to permanent placement/adoption
private adoption through an agency or independent adoption
This podcast primarily focused on adoption. Here are some take-aways:
Adoption through an agency generally costs $40,000 or so, and it is paid in installments (a certain amount to get started, more after the home study is completed, and more after a placement). In addition to the agency costs, you will need to pay legal fees. Attorney fees vary widely from about $4,000-$15,000.
It takes an average of 2-3 years to complete the adoption process.
When waiting for a placement, you should be ready with baby stuff, but you should keep it out of sight. Don’t create a baby room. It will remind you of the waiting.
Be aware and be emotionally prepared for how long the process can take. Many people wait years.
Insurance companies generally do NOT cover adoption expenses. Many people spend over $40,000 to adopt – the price of a new car! Check your employer’s adoption assistance programs and benefits. The government also offers a federal adoptive tax credit. In 2023, the credit was $15,950. This is a tax refund, not a deduction.
When considering finances, also have an understanding of your future expenses, such as added costs of groceries, transportation, childcare, and saving for higher education.
Do your research and make sure you can cover the adoption expenses or have a plan for it. Be sure to include legal fees on top of the agency fees. You will need a lawyer to get the adoption formalized through the state. Evaluate your finances and research additional resources, such as grants, personal loans, and fundraising.
Questions to consider:
Domestic or international adoption? Adopting a newborn is only possible domestically. You will receive a more comprehensive medical history with domestic adoptions. Many adoptive parents who don’t want contact with the birth parents choose to adopt internationally.
Foster system – This is the most affordable path to adoption, but does not always guarantee a permanent placement.
How much do you want to know about the child prior to adoption? Open adoptions grant adoptive parents access to more background information about the child’s family and provide an opportunity to ask questions.
Private agency vs. independent adoption – you can go through an agency and have someone do most of the work for you, or you can try to find your own “match”
This chart is 10 years old, but gives a better picture of the breakdown of costs.
TED Health – The bias behind your undiagnosed chronic pain
Studies have shown that, regardless of insurance and income status, racial and ethnic minorities received worse care. When it comes to pain, research shows that bias extends beyond minorities to include women and even children.
Pain is often dismissed. Many women are told the pain is “all in their heads.” Pain is in everyone’s heads because pain can’t take place without our brain.
Not all pain is related to tissue damage. You can have real pain with no physical injury or source. Pain can’t be measured by a lab test.
Pain is subjective and doctors must begin by identifying its source. When there is no source, it becomes open to interpretation, which becomes open to implicit bias.
Women are more likely than men to be prescribed anti-anxiety medicines than painkillers when complaining of the same pain as men do. Clinicians often suggest psychosocial causes or stress for women when they order lab tests for men with the exact same symptoms.
What can be done? We can begin by identifying our stereotypes and rewrite the stories of the people we meet. Are you treating men and women differently? Are you treating different cultures or races differently?
Physicians, make sure you aren’t writing a story that the patient hasn’t told you yet. It is your duty to replace the undiagnosed bias with empathy.
Finding the right doctor may feel a bit like dating. You may need to swipe through a few to find the right one for you.
The VeryWell Mind Podcast – Friday Fix: The Best Tool for When You Feel Overwhelmed
There are always going to be multiple things vying for your attention, especially in the age of social media and phone notifications. You will always also have your own personal to-do list.
Stop underestimating how long a task is going to take. We consistently underestimate and then get frustrated when we don’t get everything done that we want to get done.
Prioritize what should get done first. Our attention is often drawn to time-sensitive tasks that are less urgent. When you’re busy and overwhelmed, you’re likely to prioritize other tasks that come along with other tight deadlines because you’re already feeling busy. When you feel frenzied, you’d do frenzied things. Introduce rational thinking into the mix with the Eisenhower Matrix. Sort tasks by urgency and importance.
People tend to do the fastest tasks first. People might do urgent things first even though they don’t need to get done. It’s easy to get distracted by the new tasks that come in even though they don’t need to get done.
Life Kit – Ultra-processed foods are everywhere. Here’s how to avoid them
Pick up a packaged food at the supermarket and you’ll start to notice the same things: high levels of salt and fat, added sugars, added colorings, added flavors, hydrolyzed protein isolates, high fructose corn syrup, bulking agents like maltodextrin, etc.
Read the ingredient list! Ignore the health claims and read the ingredient list instead. If it includes ingredients you don’t recognize and wouldn’t have in your kitchen, it’s usually an ultra-processed food.
Overconsumption of ultra-processed foods results in increased risk of type 2 diabetes, obesity, hypertension, dying from cardiovascular disease, dying prematurely from all causes. These foods tend to have a lot of added salt, sugar, and fat.
Ultra-processed foods can result in not eating enough fiber. Many ultra-processed foods have added sugars that aren’t needed.
If you like salty, crunchy snacks, think about nuts (good source of fats, proteins, and fiber). If you love breakfast cereals, look for something with protein and fiber and fewer ingredients. If you like yogurt, look for something with low or no added sugar and add some berries to sweeten it or look for something with added protein.
Cooking more from scratch is a better option to avoid ultra-processed foods. Focus on things you know you should be eating more of, such as fruits and vegetables. For canned vegetables, you can rinse them and let them drain to reduce sodium.
Truefood.tech – this is a neat website where you can look up food brands and see how processed your food is. It will also suggest less processed alternatives.
Aim to fill your diet with fruits, vegetables, lean meats, whole grains, and some dairy (unless you have allergies). 80/20 Rule- 80% of the time, aim to eat clean.
Frugal Friends Podcast – What We’ve Learned From 75+ Real People Budgets
Stay out of the grocery store. Order your groceries online to prevent impulse purchases. If you shop in store, commit to only going once each week. If you forget an ingredient, go without. This will prevent impulse purchases.
Check your calendar before you make a budget.
Track all of your expenses!
Limit time on social media. People use it to highlight what they don’t have and are more likely to make impulse purchases. You’re only seeing the best of the best, not people’s physical, emotional, mental, or relationship stress when it comes to finances.
Remember that different people may have different priorities than you do. Their financial situation might look better, but it may not be better for you. Ex: working long hours, having a family, debt, etc.
The Accidental Creative with Todd Henry – Managing Expectations (For Yourself and Your Team)
Team members may resent one another and be unable to articulate why. In reality, it’s because there are unmet expectations that may have never been spoken. This doesn’t have to be related to work; it can happen in your personal life, too.
Think about a moment in your life when you’ve experienced conflict. How much of the conflict was sourced in expectations that you had of the other person? Were those expectations ever communicated to the other person? The majority of conflict in the workplace is the result of missed expectations. Someone expects something from a team member, customer, or stakeholder, but the expectation was never clearly communicated and agreed to by the other party.
We often hold grudges of which the other party is completely oblivious. These corrode our ability to collaborate.
Have you communicated your expectations in a clear and empathetic way? Don’t carry the pointless burden of the unmet expectations of others. There’s enough on your plate!
On a personal level, you probably have expectations of yourself that you aren’t even aware of. Learn to make agreements with yourself that you can actually keep. Many of us make agreements not based on what we think we should do, but what others think we should do. Identify agreements that you have made with yourself that you may be unaware of.
Many creatives live with perpetual guilt because they feel they aren’t doing enough, they’re failing by some arbitrary metric, or feel like they’re falling behind because they’re letting other people establish what getting ahead looks like. They believe they aren’t disciplined because they’re living by someone else’s metric. Who set that metric? Who decided what success or failure looks like for you?
What do you truly expect yourself to deliver on today? Do you have an accurate assessment of expectations for yourself? Are you living according to someone else’s metrics? Don’t allow others to “ought” and “should” you into feeling guilty about your level of discipline.
Assess, commit, and achieve. Discipline is making a commitment with yourself and keeping it.
Leadership is about risk mitigation. Great leaders understand that the goal is to accomplish what they can while mitigating the potential downside – keeping the team in the game.
Because of the risk involved, many leaders become less than clear about their expectations for the work or for the team. They may speak in vague terms or give opaque direction because they themselves are not certain of the right decision. They want to project themselves into a situation and protect themselves from a mistake, so they lack precision when they communicate. A few team dynamics emerge. Team members wait until you tell them what to do before actually starting their work. Dissonance emerges as each team member interprets what you want, sometimes leading to misalignment and disjointedness among those responsible for executing the work. Dissonance is a gap between the “why” and the “what.” Team members need leaders to be precise about expectations. You need to be clear even when you are uncertain.
Aim to use precise language and precise expectations – be clear about what you want, when you want it, who will do it, why it matters, and what the outcome will be if you are successful. All effective expectations include assignment of responsibility, articulation of a timeline, and accountability for results. If your expectations don’t include all three, you aren’t being precise enough.
Aim for precise objectives. Where are you leading the team? How will you know you’ve arrived? Why will any of it matter in the long run? Team members need to know that you have clear objectives in mind, you are aware of the obstacles you are going to encounter, and you have a plan to overcome them. You must be clear about where you are leading the team in spite of your personal insecurities.
I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!
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