Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- April 20, 2023

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Self Improvement Daily- Earn Respect, Not Validation

Our interest to prioritize and maintain strong social connections is fundamental to our success as a species, and in order to appease our ego, we seek validation, approval, and acknowledgement from others as a means to confirm our importance. This may cause us to do things that aren’t in alignment with who we want to be because we need quick access to the validating spike of feeling important.

What we’re actually searching for, that leaves a deeper and lasting impression, is other people’s respect. This goes beyond what you do and into who you are– your character and your values. This is more difficult to earn, and in a society that is addicted to immediate gratification, sometimes people don’t even have the patience to get there.

Ted Talks Daily- 4 ways to make hybrid work better for everyone

I was surprised to learn that, using surveys, polls, and meta-analyses, over 70% of employees in most global surveys want a mix of in-person and remote formats moving forward.

Many employers unexpectedly moved to a remote or hybrid format during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many also haven’t put much thought into a plan. Some employers want employees in the office a certain number of days each week, but don’t care when. Others haven’t set expectations. Others have clear expectations about when employees need to be in the office. Here are 4 ways to make hybrid work better for everyone:

  1. Coordinate anchor days — days you and those you collaborate with are in the office on the same day.
  2. Plan spontaneity. Set aside 6-7 minutes of online meetings to chat informally about something other than work. Consider happy hours, trivia challenges, or lunches or coffee with coworkers.
  3. Match digital tools with communication objectives. Sometimes e-mails, IMs, and phone calls won’t cut it. Use video calls for conversations when needed.
  4. Consistency between hybrid policies and attitudes is the only way to build a hybrid culture for everyone. If you want your employees to come in a certain number of days, assign days or make that expectation clear. If there aren’t any clear expectations and people don’t come in the same number of days, nobody should be made to feel guilty for not coming in as often as others.
Optimal Finance Daily- Budgeting Tips: 10 Ways to Lower Your Life’s Fixed Costs by Joshua Becker
  1. Buy or rent a smaller home. Housing costs generally take up the largest percentage of a person’s expenses.
  2. Avoid car payments.
  3. Double-check recurring expenses and cancel any you no longer need or use.
  4. Research insurance costs. Double-check your premiums and compare other options.
  5. Take your lunch to work.
  6. Pay off your credit card debt. Interest payments are like flushing dollars down the drain. We don’t receive anything for them.
  7. Stop upgrading your phone just because you are eligible.
  8. Cut utility bills at home. Get a programmable thermostat, lower the temperature on your water heater, unplug unused electronics, cut cable, or seal your home better for cold and heat.
  9. Research childcare options in your area. Sometimes new childcare centers are much less expensive than the one your child or children is currently enrolled in.
  10. Ditch the storage unit. If your storage unit is simply storing stuff because you own too much stuff, get rid of it. Stop paying money to keep stuff you don’t need.
Curious Kid Podcast- Curious About Prosthetics

https://www.bakersfield.com/news/health/15-interesting-facts-about-prosthetics/article_fd58fef4-a590-5067-8d3e-6463e5374126.html

The word “prosthetic” is Greek. When translated to English, it means “addition.” A prosthetic is a device that provides support in place of the body part so that people can perform day-to-day functions.

  • In ancient Rome, there are accounts of warriors who used prosthetics made of iron and wood to make artificial arms and legs.
  • Thousands of years ago, prosthetics were cosmetic.
  • During the French Renaissance, prosthetics became functional and included harnesses and knee lock controls, as well as softer materials.
  • Limb loss can be caused by a disease or cancer that impacted that body part, a car accident, or being born without a body part.
  • Prosthetics are made according to what body part is missing. How it looks and how it is made is dependent on the person and body part. Generally, measurements are taken and a cast is made. A mold is made to specifications. It is shaped to be comfortable for the patient. Most prosthetics are constructed with lightweight carbon fiber, aluminum, and titanium components.

Nearly 75 percent of amputations are caused by diabetes and cardiovascular complication. The most common type of amputation is a below-knee amputation.

The average prosthetic lasts *only* three to five years!

Most amputees wear a stump shrinker, which is a compression sock that keeps the limb from swelling when the prosthesis is not on their limb. Most amputees wear a silicone gel liner that helps to cushion and protect the limb during walking.

https://www.gabethebassplayer.com/blog/best-price-guaranteed

Best Price. Guaranteed.

But what does best mean?

Lowest?

Most efficient?

Most satisfaction?

Most bang for the buck?

The price most people would enjoy?

Since ‘best’ isn’t defined, the guarantee is also meaningless.”

Gabe the Bass Player at gabethebassplayer.com
The Economics of Everyday Things- Gas Stations

In the U.S., Americans use 374 million gallons of gas every day!

Gas is cheap in the U.S. relative to other countries. Considering the amount we use, though, every penny counts.

We often blame politicians and oil executives, but the easiest target is the gas station owner. There are 145,000 gas stations in the U.S. 8 out of 10 are independently owned and operated. They pay oil companies for the right to use their branding and gas. Many come from other countries.

  • 50-60% of cost of gas is from the cost of crude oil. $4.00 cost of one gallon of gas= $2 cost of crude, 70 cents to refine it, 40 cents to move it from refinery to gas station, 50 cents for federal/state/local taxes. For a $4.00 gallon of gas it costs about $3.60 to get it to the pump. Gas station owners make about 30-40 cents out of every gallon they sell, which has to cover maintenance, electric bill, rent, liability, etc. In the end, they are averaging 7 cents per gallon of profit.
  • Gas stations have a daily profit of about $300 after all expenses.
  • Gas stations regularly face competition with other area gas stations.
  • Station owners usually buy a few days of gas at a time and store it in underground tanks, but the price of wholesale gas changes every 24 hours. As a station owner, you can lower your prices and lose money or keep a little profit margin and watch your customers go to another station.
  • When crude prices go up, station owners are slow to pass on the extra cost to us at the pump, but when they fall, they don’t set the prices lower right away either. When gas prices increase, tight margin on gas gets squeezed even further, people buy less gas, and people also buy less inside the store. Higher gas prices also result in more theft.

Gas isn’t a big money maker. The bulk of a gas station owner’s income comes from selling food, where they have an average 33% gross profit inside the store.

Healthier Together- How to Know if You Should Have Kids + Debunking Myths About Parenthood

I don’t have kids (yet), so this was an interesting podcast with different perspectives and insights!

Many people ask “Are you going to have KIDS?” One point the podcast host made is “How will you know whether you want to have KIDS (plural)? Should I have KID? Then you can decide whether you should have KIDS.”

The most surprising point I learned on this podcast is that the ideal age to become a parent is said to be 38 or 39! This provides time to enjoy two adulthoods: 18-38 can be spent traveling, establishing your relationship with your partner, establishing your career, etc. Another adulthood starts when having kids at 38 or 39. This also results in having wisdom, perspective, and better finances, and, if you live long and are healthy, your kids can still care for you when you are old.

Many people have kids earlier due to societal or family pressure or the fear of infertility. If you have concerns about fertility with waiting, check with your doctor about fertility tests and risks. This makes more sense than having kids earlier simply due to this sometimes-unreasonable fear. Some fertility treatments are covered by insurance or are available through grants.

If you are concerned about finances, you can save money through hand-me-downs, secondhand retail, community or church groups, and neighborhood exchanges. You can also do a childcare exchange with friends.

Our society says we value children, but we do not put the $ or attention there. Many employers do not offer paid maternity or paternity leave, resources, or flexibility for childcare, etc.

You may never feel 100% confident in your decision to have kids. That’s okay. 60/40 confident is enough. It isn’t about baby or no baby. If you are postponing or thinking about not having kids, ask yourself if there’s anything you haven’t done yet in life that needs to happen. We will have some disappointments. Ask yourself “What hasn’t happened yet that I want to happen between now and when I die?” It’s about thinking about what is important to you that hasn’t happened yet and how you will fit that in. Be able to name those things and think about, if you actually have extra time and $, are you really going to do those things?

If you are afraid to bring a child into this world, know that people were also worried in the 80s and other decades. There have always been big issues dominating our consciousness and people still chose to have children and have not regretted it. There is always going to be some concern or worldly issue.

There is a lot of stress involved in raising kids, but the major factor is whether the child was planned or an accident and whether the parents had a close, high-quality relationship before having a child. Once kids are grown, parents rave about being parents.

There are many ways of finding life satisfaction and meaning even without having kids. Many parents do say that having kids has brought the most happiness in their lives, but that does not mean that you need to have kids to be happy. Volunteering, hobbies, career fulfillment, being a coach, and many other things can also bring meaning and happiness.

You can get to know your partner better than ever before just by thinking and talking this topic through. It’s not just “yes” or “no.” What are your fears? What do you want your life to look like? How will you share in the responsibilities? What is important to you?

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday- March 30, 2023

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

I was out with a friend who is on a bowling league. She explained that the next league is going to be more difficult. “More difficult? As in the competitors are more skilled,” I asked. She replied, “no, the oil patterns are different.” I was so confused about what I heard that I had to ask her if I heard correctly! It turns out, aside from the arm swing, how the ball is released, and the bowling ball material, the oil pattern also plays a major role in how well you perform.

Bowling oil patterns are covered in depth here:

In short, “the longer the pattern, the less your ball can hook.”

If you notice you aren’t performing well:

“If you throw your shot and realized that your ball isn’t hitting the target you intended due to the oil on the lane, you have two options:

  1. You can adjust your stance and just move your feet to the left or right by the number of boards that you missed and target the same spot. And hope that your adjustment should help and correct the error.
  2. You can completely change your style to match the lane conditions.

For example, if the lane is wet (has a lot of oil), you can bowl a straighter shot into the middle making the ball have only a small range of hook.
Or, if the lane is dry (has little oil), you can give it more speed or target more to the outside making the ball properly hook back to the pocket.

Here are some oil patterns:

Chasing Life- Will Banning TikTok Help Kids?

This podcast focused more on the concerns about TikTok, not all of which are related to kids. Some people have complained that TikTok should be taken down because it is harming kids mentally and emotionally. The Communications Decency Act (Section 230) protects website creators/app creators by not holding them legally responsible for the speech others put online. It also ensures TikTok can’t be sued for deciding to moderate content in the ways that they see fit. This is the same defense BackPage had, as they were not held accountable for the pimping that went on while using BackPage; they were only held accountable for the resulting money-laundering offenses.

TikTok was the most downloaded app in the entire world in 2022!

TikTok was created by a Chinese company, and many people are concerned about the threat to cybersecurity. The company is working with the U.S. government and working on voluntarily moving data it has on U.S. consumers from servers it controls in Virginia and Singapore to third-party servers controlled by Oracle, a U.S. company. They are working to ensure that no U.S. data is exposed to the Chinese government. Of note, there is currently no evidence that the Chinese government has been accessing our data, but there are concerns about influencing us for political purposes.

There is no national federal privacy standard. The U.K. and E.U. have more of an expectation that the government will impose rules ahead of time. In the U.S., corporation accountability tends to happen only after things go wrong.

There’s a lot we don’t know. We don’t know if lawmakers can come together and revise section 230 of the Communications Decency Act. We don’t know if social media companies will make meaningful changes. We don’t know the totality of how social media and screens impact our health.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about TikTok and whether it should be monitored. On one hand, people have the right to free speech. On the other hand, if content is moderated, how can we ensure that all of it is appropriately moderated before it is too late? Should all content go through a review process, requiring several TikTok employees to review it, before it is allowed to be published? If so, how would that impact the number of users and the type of content users see?

NerdWallet’s Smart Money Podcast- Is Banking Stable, and Traditional vs. Online Banks

You may have heard about the Silicon Valley Bank shutdown. Several start-ups used Silicon Valley Bank and pulled their money out at once. SVB had invested some of their money in assets that lost value and then sold the assets at a loss to get depositors their money. As start-ups, many had over $250,000 in deposits and were not fully insured. Signature Bank has faced similar difficulties.

**The FDIC insures $250,000 in full.** Your money will be returned to you no matter what happens to your bank. You have up to $250,000 protected at EACH bank. Ensure your bank is FDIC-insured or your credit union is insured through the National Credit Union Administration.

If you’re concerned that your bank might go out of business, you can spread out your accounts at multiple banks, you can get a credit card to cover your expenses while your bank situation is sorted out, you can call 211 for assistance programs, and you can request an extension on your mortgage or utilities if needed.

Traditional banks vs. online banks

Traditional banks:

  • You can go to a branch to open an account, deposit, withdraw, etc.
  • You can receive person-to-person service.
  • You can deposit cash, do wire transfers, etc.
  • It is easy to transfer funds from an online account to a traditional account.

Online banks:

  • You don’t usually have access to a branch.
  • You don’t receive person-to-person service.
  • They don’t usually have the costs of having buildings, so the rates are often better.
  • Many offer high-yield savings accounts.
  • You can only get money out through ATMs or by doing an electronic transfer to a traditional bank.

It’s best for most people to have a hybrid approach by having a traditional account for checking and possibly savings and having an online high-yield savings account.

As an illustration, many banks offer savings rates of less than 1%. The credit union I use offers variable rates for savings accounts starting at 0.1%, and my rate is 0.65%. I recently read about CIT bank, an online bank, that offers savings rates up to 4.40%–over 6 times my current rate! Imagine how much your savings could increase with an online high-yield savings account!

Healthier Together- What Everyone Gets Wrong About Self-Care & Burnout

Something that describes a healthy relationship of taking care of yourself is that you’re clear on what your priorities are and you understand what activities/relationships feed you and bring you energy. When somebody comes to you with a request, you’re able to be relatively decisive in your decision-making. You are able to operate in your life from a sense of agency and self-sufficiency.

Women are sold a contradictory set of expectations: be a mom but also a rockstar CEO, leading them to think “I need to do more.”

What does “having it/having it all” actually mean? It isn’t about checking things off the list: social life, mom, career, etc. Think about the things that actually fill you up and are impactful for you and how to build those things into your life. Don’t get lost in getting preoccupied with what everyone else/society thinks.

4 principles of self-care:

  • Getting clear on boundaries and dealing with guilt
  • Developing self-compassion in the way you talk to yourself
  • Identifying your values and getting closer to yourself
  • Recognize that this whole process is about power, and by reclaiming self-care, you are getting your power back.

If you aren’t making time for the things you value, getting a mani-pedi or massage isn’t going to help you recover from burnout. That’s checking a tool off of the list, but you haven’t done the deeper work of getting clear on what your values are and what pieces of your life and schedule are actually deeply nourishing for you.

Asking for help- start asking even before you NEED it. Asking for help does not decrease your self-worth.

Martyr mode- phenomenon where you’re taking care of everyone else and you are so resentful because nobody is paying attention to you, helping you, looking out for you, yet you are bending over backwards for others

“I’m so stressed” is often worn as a badge of honor. It means your time is valued and people desire your time and you have so much to do. The empty space can be anxiety-provoking. Yet, being stressed breeds resentment because you want to be seen and upheld as the person who saves the day, even if people didn’t ask for your help or want it.

Your goal should be to find a balance between selfish and selfless.

Reflect on “what is enough? How will I know when I’ve done enough? How will I feel when I feel like “enough?” You might realize that what you’re doing is already enough.

The podcast noted that these points are expanded upon in the new book: Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) written by Pooja Lakshmin, MD.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!