#charlesduhigg – Read Learn Share

My intention is to post a Thoughtful Thursday column each week and share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast – 4 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Unrealistic Body Standards

Many women have an unrealistic standard for their body in the timeframe they want to achieve it. We aren’t aware of the timeframe it takes to get to that standard. Also, many people don’t want to give up the lifestyle they want to live to achieve that standard.
The standards we are holding our bodies to are incredibly toxic.

Are your standards too high? Are you wanting to see shredded abs, toned arms, and perfect legs? If so, why? Why do you want these things? What about these things will make you happier or better? You are enough the way you are.
Are you holding yourself to someone else’s standard? Your friend’s goals don’t need to be your goals. Your friend’s insecurities don’t need to be your insecurities. Hold yourself to your own standard. Holding yourself to someone else’s standard takes you away from your own goals.

Do you hold yourself to an unattainable standard? Many bodies photos and videos are edited and airbrushed and filtered, so you shouldn’t look at their bodies as a goal that is attainable. The workouts that influencers are posting about are often not the workouts they are doing to get the body they have. People wouldn’t watch the videos of their actual workouts because they aren’t as fun to watch or they wouldn’t want to watch all of them.

Are you holding yourself to an old standard of yourself? Ex: you think you need to be the same size or weight as you were at a certain point in your life. Your life can be drastically different now compared to then. It probably wouldn’t be good for you to get back to that place. As we age, our bodies should change. As we have children, our bodies are different, and that’s a good thing. Are you holding yourself to an old standard? Do you really want to go back to the mentality that came with that standard, or should you accept that you can have a healthier, better body with a better mindset?

Your body can change and you can actually be healthier, stronger, and more confident. You can feel better than you did before.

Talks at Google – Jason Derulo – Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream

This podcast covered tidbits from Jason Derulo’s book, “Sing Your Name Out Loud: 15 Rules for Living Your Dream.”

Jason Derulo reads the comments on his videos on social media and finds way to constructively apply them. Jason looks for any way to be better by choosing to pick apart comments and choosing what to change.
Even though Jason Derulo has gone independent and was able to get a platinum record as an independent artist, he still sees the value in having a team. Independent artists are not typically the most successful artists out there, although there are anomalies.

Jason wants readers to know that there’s so much joy within the journey. When people talk about hard work, they make it sound like a bad thing, but those struggles can be some of the best memories to look back on. Looking back at where you started and where you’ve come can be satisfying. Find something you are passionate about and find happiness within chasing that particular outcome. Just because it’s hard work doesn’t mean it’s not fun.
People love stories of someone rising. It’s never too late to change your path. Some people on TikTok are old and very popular.

Life Kit – How to be a ‘supercommunicator’

This podcast was based on the book “Supercommunicators” by Charles Duhigg.
When we really connect with someone in conversation, it’s reflected in our bodies and our brains. Eye pupils start to dilate at the same rate, breath patterns start to match each other, heart rates start to match each other, and brain waves start to look like each other.

Communication is connection. In order to really connect, aim to have a learning conversation. Aim to learn about other perspectives in a conversation. Practice looping for understanding. Ask someone a question, listen to what they say, repeat back in your own words what you heard them say, and ask them if you got it right. Usually, the other person doesn’t know if we are listening or if we are just waiting for our turn to speak. By taking these steps, you will both trust each other more.
Matching isn’t as simple as mimicking someone’s body language.

Every discussion is made up of multiple different kinds of conversations: practical (solving problems or making plans), emotional (sharing how you are feeling and wanting them to empathize or listen, not solve a problem), and social (how we see each other in the context of society). Understand what kind of conversation you are having with someone and try to match.
Ask deep questions – questions about values, beliefs, or experiences. Their answers will tell you what type of conversation to have with them (practical, emotional, or social).

Prepare for conversations. Write down three topics you think you could discuss with strangers. Oftentimes, those topics won’t come up, but you can increase your confidence by being aware of them.
Almost any question that asks “why?” helps people open up. We are inviting the other person to explain who they are.
Be authentic. Supercommunicators tend to ask more questions, laugh more, and be authentic. If you say something that indicates you are struggling with something, they authentically listen to you and might share about themselves or ask questions about that.

Self Improvement Daily – “Be here now.”

“In a world that is busier, more distracting, and trying to hijack our attention more than ever, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to be present. Rather than having a moment to ourselves waiting in a line, we compulsively check our emails. Rather than focusing on preparing our meal, we have a podcast or Youtube video on in the background.

But if we’re being honest, does constantly seeking stimulation and splitting our attention actually offer the quality we want in our lives?

There’s so much more dimension to the present moment than we allow ourselves to see. When we choose to be present, to be here now (and not off doing something else or with other thoughts in the back of our minds), we allow the moment to deliver everything it has to offer.”

This is something I am constantly working on. Some of my best moments of connection in friendships have been when we are without our phones or other distractions – when we forget about the time and all of the other things that could be competing for our attention. These moments are so rare in today’s society.

Take a moment to immerse yourself in the here and now and be present with what’s happening around you, or else you might be missing something magical.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

“The Power of Habit” written by Charles Duhigg is among my favorite books I’ve read this year and among the most helpful books I have ever read. This book focused on the process of creating and modifying habits, habitual cues and rewards, and contained many interesting marketing examples shaped by habits: Pepsodent, Febreze, Target, foaming shampoo/toothpaste/laundry detergent, the response to Rosa Parks, AA, etc.

The habit cycle consists of the cue➡️routine➡️reward. If you use the same cue and provide the same reward, you can shift the routine and change the habit. Almost any behavior can be transformed if the cue and reward stay the same.

The basal ganglia (part of your brain) stores hundreds of habits we rely on every day. If the basal ganglia gets damaged, such as in those with Parkinson’s or Huntington’s disease, you may lose your habits.

If you want to change a habit, you must find an alternative routine, and your odds of success go up dramatically when you commit to changing as part of a group.

To modify a habit, you must decide to change it. You must consciously accept the hard work of identifying the cues and rewards that drive the habit’s routines and find alternatives. You must know you have control and be self-conscious enough to use it.”
Charles Duhigg

Almost all of the patterns that exist in our lives – how we eat, sleep, talk to people, spend our time, spend our money – are habits. You have the freedom and responsibility to change these habits.

Once you understand that habits can be rebuilt, the power of habit becomes easier to grasp, and the only option left is to get to work.
Charles Duhigg

Almost all habitual cues fit into one of five categories: location, time, emotional state, other people, and the immediately preceding action.

Here are some common habits (related to eating) that I can think of that fall into these categories:

Location: eating popcorn at a movie theater, drinking at a bar, eating cake at a birthday party

Time: eating breakfast, lunch, or supper around the same time each day, even if you aren’t actually hungry

Emotional state: feeling stressed or sad can result in binge-eating junk food

Other people: being surrounded by people at parties and social events may urge you to eat or drink

Immediately preceding action: eating dessert or something sweet after a meal because it is your way of ending the meal

❗❗One of the most interesting stories was about the history of Febreze, which was initially manufactured to destroy odors. Researchers provided free bottles to households with pets, and upon following up with them months later, found that people couldn’t detect most of the bad smells in their homes because they became desensitized. The product’s cue was hidden from those who needed it most, so Febreze ended up in the back of a closet. Febreze then changed to a distinct scent and was positioned as a reward: the nice smell that occurs at the end of a cleaning routine. The irony is that a product manufactured to destroy odors was transformed into the opposite: an air freshener used as the finishing touch when things are already clean!❗❗

Pepsodent increased awareness of tooth film as a cue to become the best-selling toothpaste for more than 30 years. The reward was marketed as beautiful teeth. Mint oil and other chemicals were used to create a cool, tingling sensation on the tongue and gums. People craved that irritation, and although it doesn’t make the product work any better, it convinces people that it’s doing the job.

Later, Crest became the top seller by featuring fluoride, which was the first ingredient in toothpaste that actually made it effective at fighting cavities.

Foaming is a huge reward. Shampoo, toothpaste, and laundry detergent often contain foaming agents. Although there’s no cleaning benefit, once the customer starts expecting that foam, the habit starts growing.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a method for attacking the habits that surround alcohol use. AA forces people to identify the cues and rewards that encourage their alcoholic habits and then helps them find new behaviors.

It’s not obvious from the way the 12 steps are written, but to complete those steps, someone has to create a list of all the triggers for their alcoholic urges.
J. Scott Tonigan

Then, AA asks alcoholics to search for the rewards they get from alcohol: escape, relaxation, companionship, the blunting of anxieties, and an opportunity for emotional release.

If order to offer alcoholics the same rewards they get at a bar, AA has built a system of meetings and companionship – “the sponsor” each member works with along with frequent meetings.

“Hey Ya!” by Outkast was a flop at first. Many people changed the radio station when it came on. It needed to become part of an established listening habit to become a hit, so it was sandwiched between songs that were already popular, and it grew in popularity.

The author discussed that the response to Rosa Parks and societal change was the result of social ties across dozens of groups.

Movements don’t emerge because everyone suddenly decides to face the same direction at once. They rely on social patterns that begin as the habits of friendship, grow through the habits of communities, and are sustained by new habits that change participants’ sense of self.
Charles Duhigg

Target extensively tracks customers’ buying habits. Every person has a permanent Guest ID #, and Target analyzes shopping habits, demographics, age, marital status, kids, how far from the store the customer lives, websites visited, etc.

To read more about habits and my habits journey, check out:

A podcast I highly recommend that focuses on habits is Sad to Savage with Shelby Sacco.

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Tag: #charlesduhigg

Thoughtful Thursday – February 22, 2024

The Power of Habit

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