Tag: #adulting

Book review posts, Uncategorized

March 2025 Reads

amybenoit

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog since I had other priorities in March. I read 5 books in March. Here is a blurb of each of the books I read in March.

“We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships” was written by Kat Vellos. Kat’s writing is read in over 100 countries and she has been featured in several news outlets. Find out more at katvellos.com. This book helps adults create fulfilling friendships that last a lifetime and tackles challenges of adult friendships and how to make and maintain friendships through more meaningful conversations, identifying quality connections, and prioritizing them. Since starting school, many of my friendships have changed. I got a lot out of this book, but here is just a handful of tips:

  • Friendship factors: compatibility, proximity, frequency, and commitment. We show our commitment through 5 core behaviors: openness, caring, trust, dedication, and reciprocity.
  • One of the biggest complaints that comes up when people talk about friendship during adulthood is that everyone’s so busy all the time – work, school, kids, marriage, etc. Maybe the reason we’re “so busy” is because we’re binging shows and endlessly scrolling through social media. Take control of your time. Do you lack the time or the dedication?
  • Ask open-ended questions and follow-up questions to pull you deeper into conversation. Some fun ideas:
    • What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?
    • What’s a book that you think everyone should read?
    • If you had to spend one hour a day studying a topic or practicing a skill, what would you pick up and why?
    • If you had to be a teacher for the rest of your life, what would you teach?
    • What were three songs that you loved as a teenager?
    • What was a low point during this year for you? How did you handle it?
    • What excites you?

I highly recommend this book and will post more about it in a future blog.

5 out of 5 stars

“The Secret Lives of Booksellers and Libraries: True Stories of the Magic of Reading” was arranged by James Patterson and Matt Eversmann. James is the most popular storyteller of our time and has received several awards. This book consisted of short essays from booksellers and librarians. Here are some of my many takeaways:

Having a good library is not political. A good library will have books on vegetarianism and hunting. A good library will have books on every religion. A good library will have books about all eras of history, from ancient Rome to the Civil War to the Holocaust. A good library will have books about different countries, different cultures, and different life experiences.

“I don’t see the library going away at all. We’ll just have to keep up with whatever comes next and evolve with what the citizens want. We hope they continue to want what we provide: lifelong learning and joy.”

Public libraries are open to everyone. And free. There aren’t that many public spaces left where you can go without the expectation of spending money.

I highly recommend this book to get perspectives from booksellers and librarians.

5 out of 5 stars

“The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World” was written by Hannah Brencher, a writer, TED speaker, and entrepreneur. Hannah challenged herself to 1,000 unplugged hours in one year – taking back a life that had slowly become less present, less awake, and less vibrant over time. This book was a weaving of a memoir, cultural commentary, and spiritual insights. Here are some takeaways:

  • What would happen if we checked into the lives we’re building as much as we checked into other people’s lives online?
  • Think about something you’ve been wanting to do for a long time – something you keep pushing off because of e-mail, mindless scrolling, or yet another binge-worthy show. Whatever it is, power down your phone and do that thing you’ve been wanting to do. After one hour, turn your phone back on. You’ll have missed out on nothing, but gained something back instead: a piece of your time, a tiny sliver of your life.
  • Before taking the challenge, define what “unplugged” means to you. For the author, it means not using your phone, internet, social media, tv, or consuming any form of digital media. Build your boundaries intentionally.
  • Don’t believe the lie that you don’t have enough time. Instead, acknowledge that exercising, reading, etc. just isn’t a priority for you right now. Scrolling on your phone takes up a lot of time. The time is there; it’s just waiting to be reclaimed.

The double-edged truth about the devices we hold is that there will always be something to check. Something to read. Some way to improve. Something to watch. Another thing to reply to. Something to share. Another comment to make.

Scrolling in bed in morning: “I was allowing other people’s fingerprints – their agendas, opinions, praise, and problems – to get all over my day before my feet even touched the ground.”

There’s often a disconnect between the life people are living and the life they’re curating for others to see. In the unplugged hours, ask yourself: Does this moment still matter to you if no one else knows you went, saw, lived, ate, loved, fought, and tried? Does this moment still matter to you if you never pull out your phone to tell people that it happened?

I highly recommend this book for anyone feeling like they are on their phones too much and that they don’t have time to do things they’ve been putting off, including maintaining friendships.

4 out of 5 stars

“What If YOU Are the Answer? And 26 Other Questions That Just Might CHANGE YOUR LIFE” was written by Rachel Hollis, a speaker, podcast host, entrepreneur, and #1 New York Times bestselling author whose work has impacted millions of readers worldwide. This book was thought-provoking. Here are some things that resonated with me.

  • What Who are you waiting for? Live your life. Try new stuff and see if you like it. Learn to look at other humans as individual plays in their own stories without feeling the need to write yours the same way. Listen to your heart, your gut, and your inner knowing. Give yourself permission to change lanes, directions, occupations, beliefs, and other things you need to on the journey of trying your best to do your best.
    • Realize that no one else can solve our problems, heal our wounds, or make the most of the opportunity we’ve been given. You are the hero you’ve been waiting for.
  • What must you let go of to be the person you want to be?
  • What’s bigger, your dreams or your excuses?
  • Knowing what you know today, would you sign up for this again? Job, friends, relationships, projects, etc. If not, what are you going to do about it?
  • Who would you be without your fear?
    • There are two kinds of fear: 1) clear and present danger of a very real threat 2) imaginary fear we create by dreaming up what might happen – anything you’ve never done, places you’ve never gone, conversations you’ve never had, and people you don’t know
    • Anything you’re curious about or interested in but don’t pursue because of what might happen is you allowing your fear to control you.

I highly recommend this book for anyone wanting to reflect on their lives and personal growth and make changes.

4 out of 5 stars

“Burps” is a children’s book written by Grace Hansen. I wanted to learn more about burping since this is new to me. Here are some tidbits:

  • When we eat and drink, we swallow food and water, but we also swallow air. Air contains gases like nitrogen and oxygen.
  • Too much gas in the esophagus and stomach can be uncomfortable. Burping releases this excess gas.
  • Carbonated drinks contain carbon dioxide and can cause us to burp.
  • Bacteria in our digestive tract helps break down food. Hydrogen peroxide can be made int he process. This gas smells like rotten eggs.
  • Burping is our body’s way of releasing excess gas.

Although this book said that everyone burps, that is not true! Some people have a condition called RCPD (inability to burp).

4 out of 5 stars

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!

Thoughtful Thursday posts, Uncategorized

Thoughtful Thursday – February 6, 2025

amybenoit

As I discern the frequency of Thoughtful Thursday posts going forward, I wanted to share some of the insights I have learned in the past week. Here are some of the things I’ve learned this week:

Life Kit – The science behind the FDA ban on food dye Red No. 3

  • Desserts, candy, and medications that are bright cherry red often contain synthetic Red dye No. 3. It has been known to cause cancer in rats.
  • The FDA is now banning it in food and ingested drugs (revoking authorization)
  • Red dye No. 3 is a petroleum-based dye that gives products a bright cherry red color.
  • 2002 – petition was filed with the FDA to ban the dye, and the FDA has been reviewing the petition and research ever since.
    • Red dye No. 3 in high doses causes cancer in rats. The FDA previously concluded it was safe for humans in the amounts used in food and said that Americans aren’t going to eat Red dye No. 3 in amounts large enough to cause cancer
  • 2023 – California became the first U.S. state to ban Red dye No. 3, although the ban doesn’t take effect until 2027.

The Environment Working Group has compiled a list of over 3,000 packaged foods and drinks that contain Red dye No. 3!

  • There are also concerns about other synthetic food dyes linked to behavioral issues  and ADHD-like symptoms in children.
  • These dyes are more common in cheaper, ultra-processed foods.
  • Food manufacturers have until January 2027 to remove red dye no. 3 from their products.
    • Replacing with Red 40 (also linked to behavioral issues in kids) or natural food compounds found from fruits and vegetables (ex: beets)
  • Check food labels and try to avoid food dyes.

Chasing Life – Want a Healthier Mocktail? Here’s How

Disclaimer: My body doesn’t tolerate carbonation, alcohol, or mocktails, so I haven’t tried these recommendations!

  • Add water to get the volume right. Ex: instead of 2 oz of gin, add 2 oz of water.
  • Mocktails, like cocktails, are actually meant to be small and savory. You don’t need to use a lot of added sugar or syrups. Not meant to be a 12 oz beverage
  • If limiting alcohol instead of going alcohol-free, use sherry or fortified wines. These provide more of a flavor profile than NA drinks.
  • When you go alcohol-free, there is a chance you won’t miss it!
  • Many zero-proof options rely heavily on sodas, fruit juices, and syrups to try to compensate for the lack of alcohol. You can add water to tone down the sweetness.
  • 1 month without alcohol will improve your sleep, boost your energy, and lower your blood pressure. That’s pretty good incentive.

Self Improvement Daily – Plant Yourself In Fertile Soil

One of the most important impacts of your life and your success is your environment. Your environment is always pushing you to take make certain choices and take certain actions. 

It’s the difference between hanging around friends who always want to meet up for drinks instead of hanging out while hiking, working out, or socializing without alcohol. It’s the difference between having access to healthy food in your pantry rather than always grabbing and stocking up on junk food. It’s the difference between having a good book by your bed versus only having your phone within arm’s reach.

Environment influences what happens without our awareness. The majority of the time, we’re acting unconsciously and automatically.

“Here’s a metaphor I like to use that demonstrates the power of environment. Think of the potential of a seed.

A seed has everything it needs to grow into a tall mighty tree. A seed is fully capable, yet most of the time, it doesn’t even sprout. Why? Because it’s dependent on the soil. The seed requires a certain environment to thrive.

The same seed planted in two different places can lead to two very different outcomes. When it’s in fertile soil, it grows tall and strong. When it’s planted in sand, it doesn’t even have a chance. And that’s not because there’s anything wrong with the seed. It’s just in the wrong environment.

As humans, we experience the same thing. There are environmental conditions that bring out our best. The right people, opportunities, circumstances, and spaces set us up for success. But there are also environments that bring out our ‘not so best’, causing us to make choices that don’t serve us and limit our potential.

Unlike a seed, however, we can control our environment. We can choose our surroundings and therefore, shape the influence it has on us. We can plant ourselves in fertile soil and when we do, that’s when we are maximizing our growth and potential! 

If you’re falling short of the level of consistency, productivity, good health habits, and impact that you know you’re capable of, it’s probably because you’re in the wrong soil. Choose to put yourself in a place where you can thrive and watch the results pour in!”

TED Talks Daily – The secret to telling a great story – in less than 60 seconds

  • Many great stories start with a question because it will make people stick until the end to find out the answer.
  • You want to get your audience’s attention immediately, so you want to start by asking something shocking.
  • After you’ve hooked your audience, you want to take them on a journey building up to your answer where you want them to feel constant progression so that as we’re moving closer and closer to our answer, they feel like they can’t stop listening.
  • If everything is smooth sailing, nobody cares. We want to add conflict before getting to our answer. Without conflict, the audience isn’t as invested.
  • After enough buildup, we finally need our answers. Build tension by making the answer feel uncertain to make a satisfying ending.
  • If it takes longer to tell your story than it does to make a fast food burger, you’re probably overcooking both.

I’ve noticed this trend often on TikTok. People tell short stories with conflict to capture interest and build up progression before detailing the end of the story.

Mary’s Cup of Tea – How to Make Adult Friendships Easier with Kat Vellos

  • Connecting with existing friends more easily: If you are a busy or forgetful person, set reminders in your phone to follow up with the person. Don’t leave your hangout without setting your next hangout (just like a salon appointment). Connect your friends to each other to share time together.
  • Making more friends nearby: Be aware of your limits and take it step by step. Start by making acquaintances with the people who already live near you and are easier to fit into the life you’re living – people on your block, people in your apartment building, people in your town. Become a regular at a third place – neither home nor work – somewhere you go to for enjoyment – gym, coffee shop, brewery, bar, etc. Host friends with frequency – ex: Sunday dinners at home.
  • When we say that friendship is hard, we often say it’s hard because we’re afraid to introduce ourselves to new people, scheduling is hard, we’re too busy, we aren’t getting close fast enough to people, friends don’t give as much as they take, etc. When we say friendship is hard, we might mean that having courage is hard, having confidence is hard, prioritization and persistence is hard, having patience is hard, or taking risks and dealing with disappointments and rejection is hard. These things are part of life, not just friendships!
  • If someone says you should get together and you reach out and they don’t schedule something, follow up suggesting something you think they would say yes to!
  • On average, adults lose 1-2 friends per year because they fall out of touch and things fade away. Like plants, you need to water and nourish your friendships.

Book: “We Should Get Together” – I look forward to reading this!

I look forward to reading, learning, and sharing more with you soon!